THANKFUL FRIDAY

This is what is currently happening behind me while I'm starting my first day of Python class.

10 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "This is what is currently happening behind me while I'm starting my first day of Python class."

Well, it is day four of me working from home and I am happy to say that I am settling into a routine. Meditation happens every day. Yoga happens every day. I shower and put on a bra every day. Twenty minutes of some sort of cardio/strength exercises happen twice a week. I spend my mornings in a Python coding class. Then I take a break for lunch. Some people from work meet after lunch to watch some tutorials on electron microscopy. There is another meet-up in the afternoon to see what everyone else in the group is up to and then the whole family goes for a walk. The Cabbage chooses a game for us to play after dinner and then it is close to bedtime. I read some before getting ready for bed and then I get up and do it all again the next day.

There has been surprisingly little TV. In fact Michael and I are kind of behind on some of our shows. I also thought I would be spending more time writing or cleaning or re-organizing, but I haven’t done much of any of those things. I am surprised how I have managed to fill up my time. I think about this weekend and how that will be my time to do some chores and watch TV. I will sleep past 5:30 AM and maybe not wear a bra. Maybe I will spruce up the backyard and create some sort of hangout space. My Saturday is wide open. We have food and no place to go. I was worried that my weekdays would blend into my weekends and that I would start to lose track of time. Work/life boundaries would become blurred. So far, this has not happened. If anything, this experiment in social distancing is causing me to rethink my concept of time and how I choose to organize myself in those minutes.

Of course, I know this is only week one and as the days and weeks progress it will get more difficult to maintain boundaries, to take that shower after meditation, to put that bra on. I am not dwelling on the days and weeks to come. I am focusing on right now. One of Michael’s co-workers gave everyone an assignment this week to come up with a mantra to get them through this time. He loved it so much that he made the Cabbage and I participate. I keep hearing people say “this is the new normal” or “welcome to the new normal” and these words resonated in me. Normal seems to me to be one of those things that you make of it. So I typed up these words and placed them on a photo I had taken earlier in the week: Stop calling this the NEW normal; Just make it your normal; We’re still breathing, working, laughing; The environment just looks a little bit different.

This is my normal.

This morning, after my yoga practice, I stood at the stove waiting for the kettle of water to boil. I thought about how I could do this part of my morning every day. I could get up every week day and do a yoga practice before meditation. It would mean adjusting and tweaking a schedule here and there. I might have to make sure Michael gets up and into the shower before I sit down for meditation. I would get to work about twenty minutes later, but I would just stay twenty minutes later. This ‘stay at home’ practice may be a bit of a challenge but it is giving me opportunities to experiment with my schedule. I am finding out that there are parts of the way I was doing things before that could use some tweaking and adjusting.

It is kind of like taking that horrible tasting medicine. You don’t want to. In fact, it is so gross, it makes you gag, but you take it. You do it because it is good for you and it is going to make you better.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This is what I woke to.

elephant_soap's photo on Instagram

When I posted a picture of yesterday's snowfall on facebook, I could practically hear Jen's squeals from here. She's always so envious of the amount of snow that we see up here. I'd love to package it all up and send it to her for Christmas. It really is beautiful. Every thing about Christmas includes snow. As a kid growing up in Oklahoma, a White Christmas was often dreamed of, but rarely seen. We used to pray that enough snow would fall to go sledding just once or build a snowman. There was a time when I was more durable to the cold weather and would spend hours trekking up a hill and sliding down on an inner tube over and over until all the snow was worn away to grass and mud.

These days I have to be reminded by others that I am lucky to have snow at Christmas. I don't know when the switch happened, but snow or no snow, my body aches with the cold. I sort of curl up like an armadillo. I just need to invest in legitimate winter clothing and suck it up. It was thirty two degrees when I left work yesterday and a guy on a small Kawaski motorcycle passed me. I was shivering in my car that hadn't had time to warm up. I have no idea how that guy on the motorcycle was dealing with riding in the cold. He's managed to hang onto that intolerance we all used to have as kids. I am thankful for this reminder to thicken my skin. 

This was our first real snowfall of the season and I was completely surprised by it. I have to admit that even though I wanted to crawl back into bed at the sight of it, I still felt that spark of glee at the sight of the white layer of it. As I walked over to the gym during my lunch break, I felt the cold on my face and as I inhaled, I could smell the snow. I smiled to myself as I noticed the distinct sent of it. The smell of rain in the Spring time can smell sweet with a hint of dirt. The Fall rains are musty, but in the winter, when the rain turns to snow, the smell is clean. There's almost a hint of bleach to it and a bit of saltiness. I am thankful for that spark of glee. I am thankful for that smell of clean. I am also thankful that this was a relatively easy first snowfall. There was no shoveling. The roads were clear and the snow brushed away from the car with one simple swipe.  

I am thankful for colored packages tied up with ribbon. I am thankful for the daily piece of chocolate from the advent calendar. I am thankful for each and every Christmas card that has come our way. And I am always thankful for you. Here's to a festive weekend as we begin to spiral our ways into this Holiday. And a truly Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Saturday morning, I went to brunch with Randy and Katrina at Kilkenny's. We had completely forgotten about the Cherry Street Farmers' Market that sets up in that area every summer Saturday. They close off a block of that street for the market, basically right in front of Kilkenny's. We got to the road closed signs and said "The Farmers Market!!!!" all at the same time. I refrained from buying any thing except for the most ridiculous, yet super comfortable pants ( I mean they are really silly looking pants), but I wanted to buy all of the vegetables. 

I've been to the Farmers Market here one time this season and that was early in the growing season when everyone was selling all of the things I was already growing.  Seeing the booths on Saturday filled with tomatoes and corn and squash made me hungry for fresh corn polenta and roasted veggies. I could already smell the tomatoes, garlic, and rosemary slowly roasting, filling the house with delicious goodness. I vowed that I would make it to the market this weekend. I am thankful for the reminder that it's time to fill my freezer with bags of roasted tomatoes and fresh corn. 

This is has been a week for a return to some sort of a routine, at least as far as the regular day to day goes. Work, yoga, treadmill, good food. All of these things play a part in healing. It gives me a sense of normalcy that is greatly appreciated. The Farmers Market is also part of that because it's something I used to do regularly. I am particularly grateful for these grounding acts this week. Speaking of grounding things. A couple of you have asked about my yoga sleeping trick. I promise to sit down next week and write it all up for you. I cannot promise it will work, but I can promise it will help. 

Here's to a beautiful aromatic weekend and a super Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

My sister-in-law lost her mother to cancer this week. She had been diagnosed shortly after Chris died. She fought the good fight for a year and a half. I talked to Katrina when it was time to think about bringing in hospice. She was struggling with the idea of it because her mom wasn't ready. She could still get up and do things and Katrina didn't want her mom to think she wanted her to die. But I also knew that Katrina was worried that she couldn't care for her mother the way she needed to. I knew this because I'd been there. I knew that the moments leading up to her death would be the hardest scariest time for Katrina. I knew that it would be like walking a tight rope over the Grand Canyon, a constant fight to keep balancing to keep from falling. I knew that her body would go to work and run through it's daily tasks, but her mind would be with her mom, worrying that she had fallen or was eating or, most importantly, not in pain. When we were told that our only choice was hospice, Chris didn't want it. The lead hospice nurse came to our house and I sat on the couch talking to her. Chris laid on the bed in the other room. He wanted no part of it. But I listened to what that woman had to say, things about not helping you to die, but helping you to live comfortably. And when I went in to the bedroom to talk to Chris about it, he told me "I'm not ready." Then I told him that I needed hospice. I needed it to be sure there would be someone that could take care of Chris better than I could. So he agreed. He agreed, not because it was good for him, but because it would be easier for me. He saw that it eased my mind knowing that someone could be there. These are the things that I told Katrina. These were my words of advice. It sucks that I have this knowledge, this experience at my age, but I am thankful that I could pass the things I know on to someone in a helpful way. I am thankful that the experience prepared me in some way to help someone else.

August is not an easy month for Katrina or the rest of my family. It is centered around loss and heartache. This just adds to Katrina's pile of loss, but Katrina and I are a lot alike. We're good at seeing the balance of loss and life. We both can see that even though we've had great loss, we have also gained great loves. I'm thankful for this and I'm thankful for the people that she has surrounding her with love and support. I'm thankful for those she has to lean on when it's just too much, because I get the idea of too much. And I'm thankful.

I am thankful for the many blessings I have in my life.

THANKFUL FRIDAYS

I'm sitting here today asking myself "what am I thankful for today?'. And I'm not really sure. I suppose I'm thankful that I came to my senses and didn't wear that sweater with the ginormous turtle neck that I had started to wear this morning. That thing would have driven me crazy all day. It's the simple things really. Last night, on the drive out to the lake studio to teach my class, I looked a bit mopey. Chris asked me what was wrong, and I replied that I was just tired. We finally reached that area of the city were we can pick up the Spy and Cousins from Vampire Weekend was playing. Suddenly, I was on. That song always makes me want to dance like a fool. So I danced. In the car. Like a crazy person. And I was happy. I got to work this morning to hear John grumbling about Max's poor attitude and I thought about the salt cleanse. I remembered that song from yesterday and plugged the earphones into the iPod. While I looked at mice prostate samples on the microscope, I danced. I sang. I found peace and joy in my present moment. So today, I am thankful for the music in my life that brings me joy, that moves me to dance and that can even bring me to tears. I am thankful for all the years that music has been an influence in my life and being able to associate a certain memory to a certain song. I am thankful for the smile those songs bring to my face.

Be thankful for the music and dance like a fool.

THANKFUL FRIDAYS

Last week I parked my scooter and even considered covering it up for the winter. It has just been too cold in the mornings for me to ride. But today, they are expecting above normal temperatures and I am riding my scooter to work. Perfect end to a not so perfect week. Riding in to work hasn't been too bad though. It's given Chris the gumption to get up and back to the gym and join my Thursday night yoga class. This is something that not only am I thankful for, but makes me happy. I have lots of plans for the weekend that I probably should share with Chris, but haven't. I want to go to the Farmer's Market, work in the garden, and make cheese, this on top of all the usual chores of laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning house. My biggest plan though is to take a nap at least once a day over the weekend.

Of course I am always thankful for the usual. I am thankful for you. Have a wonderful weekend!

THANKFUL FRIDAYS

Yesterday, I rushed around working through lunch in order to get things to a stopping point by four o'clock so that I could attend seminar. I am so thankful that I was able to go. I had the pleasure of hearing Felice Frankel speak about what is the best way to express your data in a more communicable way. I was mesmerized by the images she had taken for her new book and images that would become covers for Science. She talked about how our ideas need to be expressed visually in a way that non-science people could understand and that in order to do this we needed input from all kinds of disciplines. It was like sitting in on an Interdisciplinary class at USAO. It was made me feel like my old self again, particularly when she said that we have to make science fun. I am thankful that I made it to her seminar. I am thankful for many other things today like Chris joining me in yoga yesterday and riding the scooter. I am thankful for the promise of a relaxed weekend, maybe a bottle of wine or some cider. I am thankful that my family and friends are safe and sound even though these past few weeks have been a bit of a trial for many of them. Remember, there's always a silver lining.

Have a great weekend!