THANKFUL FRIDAY

This every day this week

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The other evening, I was sitting on the back step waiting for Josephine to do her final backyard patrol for the night. The ground was damp from that day's rain and the temperature was nice enough that I didn't feel the need for a sweater. The chickens were already tucked into their coop for the night. A gentle breeze stirred the honeysuckle, releasing their sweet smell. I scanned the jungle of our backyard trying to find Josephine in the last remaining light of the day and that's when I spotted the tiny flash of light. The first firefly of the season danced across the backyard. I sat and watched this lone firefly bobbing around, lighting up here and there, until the very last of the day's light leaked away. 

Our Spring has been an indecisive Spring. When Mom was here a couple of weekends ago, we went to my favorite place to buy tomato plants and they had all their plants crammed inside. It was too cold to have anything outside. So, Mom and I squeezed our way through narrow cramped isles to hunt for tomato plants and basil. I've taken my electric blanket off the bed only to put it back on twice now. Last week, we still had the furnace on. The colder temperatures, topped with all the rain has made it hard for me to believe that we will see any kind of Summer. The rain has not let up, but the temperatures have started to rise. The electric blanket has been put away, the furnace turned off and the air conditioner turned on. I wore a tank top while walking the dog yesterday. 

Winters are hard on me. Spring is a little better than Winter, but not by much. Hopes raised for brighter days are consistently crushed by continuous days of gray. Summer is my time, no matter how hot it gets. The endless days of blue skies sometimes streaked with pink clouds never fail to make me feel lighter. Those summer evenings, watching the fireflies dance around the yard, awakens my inner carefree child. I want to make ice cream the old fashion way and lay on a blanket, counting the stars as they appear in the sky. I want to crawl out from under the cold dank rock that I feel like I've been living under for the last few months. I am thankful for that tiny blinking firefly because he is like a lighthouse beacon for summer. Now if we could just get this rain to stop...

I am thankful for the moments between the rain when I've been able to walk the dog. I am thankful for the time I spent on my mat. I am thankful for tiny cups of ice cream. I am thankful for the promise of love and laughter to come this weekend. And..I am thankful for you. Have a safe and relaxing weekend, maybe taking a moment to remember why it's called Memorial Day and a truly Thankful Friday. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Waving heart

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Considering that I am writing this on Thursday and Thursday got here surprisingly fast, that in itself should be something I'm grateful for this week. Except that's not something high on my gratitude list. I am surprised by the speed at which time passed this week. I had good intentions. I had plans to write more and post things that are not sad or deal with the ashes of my dead husband. I wrote a whole paragraph about my crazy dreams that have been inspired from my TV watching and then I couldn't come up with an ending so I deleted it. I had plans to get on my yoga mat more this week. My practice got a little derailed during all the travel and I haven't really gotten back into a routine. I even skipped yoga class Wednesday night so I could get home to let the dog out of her crate. 

Samuel Johnson said "Hell is paved with good intentions." I suppose that Hell has a very advanced highway system and plenty of sidewalks by now. I know that plenty of us start off our days and weeks with the very best of intentions. Some of us have very long, complicated lists of intentions. I know that I tend to be that kind of person and so when I reach the end of a week where I've done very little on my complicated list of intentions, I feel like a bit of a failure. I forget to recognize the simple things that were good that I did unintentionally. I skipped yoga class on Wednesday, but I took Josephine on a walk in the park. I didn't get any writing done this week, but I do have tomato plants in the garden and I thinned out the radishes. I also took a jar that I bought four or five years ago with the idea of turning into a terrarium and finally turned it into a terrarium. And I did make it onto my yoga mat at least once this week. 

I am also reminded that my "good" intentions list should be simple: be the best person I can be in this moment. Really, it's the only intention I should have. Yesterday I gave a half a carton of eggs to two different people for no reason other than I thought it would be nice to give them some eggs. Both recipients were so over joyed with receiving those eggs and it was the best feeling to be able to surprise them with eggs. I am grateful to be able to give fresh eggs to the unsuspecting. I am thankful for the reminder to make my intention list short. I am grateful for the reminder to be my very best me.

I am thankful for a lot of things this week like perfectly poached eggs on avocado toast and countless games of tug-o-war with the dog. I am thankful for our new city issued garbage bin because now we don't have to store Albus's latest kill in the garage (I saved a baby bunny twice last night only to find him dead on our living room floor this morning; Albus is a jerk). I am thankful for being appreciated for a job well done. I am thankful for these new pants that are comfortable even though they have a non-elastic waistband.  I am thankful for you.

Here's to a lovely weekend and perfectly perfect Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Good morning

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The night before I left for my conference, I was sitting on the couch with Michael and Josephine was standing on me as she does. I looked at her and said "Josephine, am I going to have to worry about you while I'm gone?" Michael pipped up and replied "Nooooo....she's going to be just fine." I did not have a direct flight to New York. The first leg was Kansas City to Milwaukee and when my plane landed there, I turned my phone on to find I had a missed call. From Animal Services. I hadn't even been away for a whole day. Josephine had dug a hole and squeezed under the fence. I quickly sent a text to Michael so he could go bail our dog out of jail.  She is now grounded and has to stay in her crate during the day while we are at work. She's handling it better than I am.

I feel like I came home to a bit of chaos. The yard is out of control. It's been too wet for Michael to mow. He's covered in poison ivy and stressing about a paper that's due today. The stress of it has lead to a cold, so he's all sneezy and congested. The house is dirty and my mom is coming in this weekend for a visit. The gutters are so full of leaves and helicopter seeds that the rain water just floods over them. The chicken coop is smelly and I came home to a letter from our homeowner's insurance telling us to repair the roof or they will drop our coverage. Most of all of this kind of makes me wish that I was sitting on a rock somewhere in Maine listening to the waves crash against all the other rocks. I am struggling to get back into routine. 

So today, I am thankful for my time away. I am thankful for sound of waves crashing on rocks and I'm even thankful for the snow that fell on us in the mountains. I am thankful for the peace. But, before I wish myself away again, I am also thankful to be home. Sure, I came home to a mess, but it's my mess. I'm thankful that Josephine OK and safe even if this means crating her during the day. I'm glad Michael had time to himself to work on school stuff, but I'm thankful to be home and in his presence. Even if he's sneezing all the time. I know the chaos will right itself eventually and that all of the things do not need to be fixed right this minute. I really thankful that all of the things do not need to be fixed right this minute.

Mom and I are going to the Farmer's Market tomorrow morning and i am buying tomato plants and basil. I am thankful for the time I will have with her, just the two of us, in the morning. That's the best time of day. Mom doesn't know yet, but she might end up holding a chicken this weekend while I clip some wings. I'm thankful that she can come this weekend for a visit, not just to buy plants and hold chickens. I am thankful for our time together. I am thankful for moments of peace before hectic times. I am thankful for blueberries. I am thankful for a snails pace. I am thankful for you.

Here's to a lovely weekend and a truly Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Stormy

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The first year I did the the Kansas City AIDS Walk, it rained. I wore the right shoes for walking, but the wrong shoes for rain. All the water in the whole swamp of a park soaked into my shoes and by the time I headed home, I couldn't even tell if I had feet. They were so numb with cold and wet and I sat in my car for twenty minutes rubbing them with a blanket and blasting the heat. The second year I did the Kansas City AIDS Walk, it rained. I wore the right shoes for rain, but not really the most comfortable for walking. All that mattered was that my feet were dry. This year, I started studying the weather maps weeks in advance. For days the weather report has shown a 90% chance of rain for Saturday. I finally broke down and bought some rain boots. Too be perfectly honest, you didn't really need to twist my arm to purchase a pair of rain boots. I've been eyeing them for some time for a number of reasons. Rubber boots seem like a very practical purchase, but I have been putting it off because I have a hard time spending money on shoes that I will get dirty. And yes I read that sentence out loud to myself and I know it sounds crazy pants. I used the AIDS Walk this year to get over it and just buy the dang boots. In the end I found a pair on Amazon and got a really good deal on them, so I feel pretty OK about the purchase.

Now let me give you a bit of advice about rain boots. This only applies if you are as dumb as I am when it comes to rubber boots, but whatever you do, do not try on rubber boots without wearing socks. Pressing a bare foot into a rubber boot creates a vacuum that makes removing the boot scary hard. I say scary hard, because there was a moment when Michael was trying to pull the boot off my right foot and it wouldn't budge. He actually lifted my whole body off the bed so that I was kind of dangling there with my leg trapped under his armpit while he was tugging on the boot. We took a break at this moment because I started having a minor panic attack. You know how when a little kid gets their head stuck in something like a bucket or between the rails on a back of a chair and you have to calm that kid down, because all the screaming and stress makes everything worse? That's basically the same thing that happens when you can't get a rubber boot off of your foot. We eventually got the boot off, but there was a moment when I seriously thought I'd be wearing that boot for the rest of my life and how I'd have to adapt my life around a rubber boot on my right foot. I imagined climbing into bed and under the covers with a rain boot on my foot. For the rest of my life because I don't believe in cutting up perfectly good boots.

I am thankful that I have rain boots to keep my feet dry and comfortable. I am thankful that we eventually got that one boot off my foot. I am thankful that our rain chances for Saturday has dropped form 90% to 60%, even if that 60% is predicted for the early morning right in the middle of the AIDS Walk. It almost goes without saying that what I am most thankful for this week and all of the weeks leading up to the AIDS Walk are all of you who donated to my fundraising page. I always set my fundraising goal for $250.00 because I feel like asking for things is too much and that's a reasonable goal. As of writing this entry, thanks to all of you, we have raised over $500 that will go to HIV/AIDS prevention and education and care here in Kansas City. I know people who raise thousands of dollars for the AIDS Walk, but I am always amazed that I can raise any amount for the AIDS Walk. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am thankful for Josephine's new haircut even though she looks naked because at least her body isn't dragging in half of the yard with her every time she comes inside. I've pulled so many leaves and elm tree droppings from her fur and the floors look like I never vacuum. We all know that I am a person who is always vacuuming. And I may be typing this up too early, but we have not had an animal incident since the bird last Thursday. We thought that bird had escaped out the open basement window. He did not. Michael found him Saturday evening when he went to get me the laundry baskets. Poor bird. I am thankful for the two new (very clean) dishes I introduced to our menu this week. One was OK, but the other one was met with grand applause. What else? I am thankful for the things sprouting in the garden. I am thankful for the rain that helped make those sprouts happen. I am thankful.

Here's to a grand, yet soggy weekend and a super duper Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

One of everything

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Last Saturday, while Michael took the Cabbage to a birthday party, I planted all of our seeds. Potatoes, carrots, radishes, kale, spinach, cabbage, baby bok choy, Brussel sprouts, salad greens, arugula, cucumbers, cantaloup, purple hulled peas, okra, sunflower and asparagus all went into the ground. I left space for tomatoes, basil and rosemary. Chard I planted in the Fall is now huge. I may have to pull this up to make room for peppers. The sunflowers were an after thought. I dug a trench around my make shift compost bin and dropped in some seeds. They will either grow and thrive, grow and be mowed down or not grow at all. This could be true about all of the seeds actually, well except about the mowed down part. 

I did none of the things I said I was going to do regarding the garden. I did not plan and in fact, if I hadn't written out a list of things planted here, I would probably have no idea what was sprouting. I had every intention of putting together a garden of foods that I know we will eat, but time ran away with the spoon. Then we decided not to buy much for the garden. Just before we decided not to buy anything more for the garden, I bought seed potatoes and asparagus starters, kale because I was out and cantaloupe because Josephine ate the cantaloupe seed packet from last year.  All the rest of the things where leftover seeds from years past. I did, however sort through all of the seed packets and only chose to plant the things that I knew we'd eat. Cabbage (the vegetable, not the kid) isn't really one of those things we have on the menu often, but I want to make my own sauerkraut. This week, I am thankful to have seeds finally in the ground, even if they were not well planned and even if some of them should have been in the ground weeks ago.

Now begins the big wait where we just stare at the boxes of dirt, looking for things to pop up out of the ground. I can spot the kale and salad green sprouts from the kitchen window already. I think this part is just as exciting as harvesting things out of the garden. Like I said before, some of these seeds are going to grow and thrive and some of these seeds are going to grow just a little and croak. Some of those seeds may not grow at all. Because gardening is a giant life lesson. It is a life lesson that constantly brings me gratitude. Gratitude and respect. It's not just about eating the food we grow. It's about being able to grow the food we eat. It is a reminder to be thankful for the dirt, thankful for the sun, thankful for the rain and thankful for this planet. I did not set out in the beginning of writing this Thankful Friday post to make it an Earth Day post, but there you have it. Let us all be grateful for this Earth today.

Happy Earth Day! And a very Thankful Friday. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Spring!

"Spring!"

Gratitude comes with the sun today. The other day I stepped outside and felt a warmth in the wind and could smell the sweetness of Spring. Up to then the wind still blew cold. It would look warm outside. The sun would be bright and the sky would be a clear blue, but you'd step outside and be hit in the face with a blast of cold air. Sometime in the middle of the week, that all changed. I have ridden the scooter, done yoga on a rooftop and taken my first morning coffee walk of the year. I pulled out the dead mums leftover from the Fall and replaced them with a bright orange pocketbook plant and some purple things I don't remember the name of. It is bliss and I am thankful for the warmth that is returning to my bones. It is the same every year. I bloom along side the tulips. 

This Spring, I feel slightly overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed with the usual things that need to be done. We are late getting seeds in the ground. I have a presentation for work. The dog is in desperate need for a grooming. I am leaving for a conference in a few weeks and I feel unprepared. They are just the usual daily life things. We all have them. Today I choose to be overwhelmed with gratitude. So many of you have donated to my AIDS Walk fundraising page. Every year I ask for donations and every year you guys step up for no other reason than your giant generous hearts. You overwhelm me with your kindness. And speaking of kindness, a box arrived on my doorstep containing one Janku Rey doll. I have no idea who sent it. I posted a picture on social media and as of writing this, I still have not figured out who to thank. No one is fessing up to sending it. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this random act. Those usual daily life things have easily taken a back seat to my heart full of gratitude. 

I am thankful for eggs. We have so many eggs in our fridge right now. Some of them will be given to the nice couple who gave us a bale of straw and a package of pine chips. I am thankful that we have had a whole two weeks without having to deal with a live or dead thing that Albus has brought in through the pet door. It has been thirteen days with out incident. Scratch that. It has been zero days without incident. I pried a dead rabbit out of Josephine's mouth this morning. She took it from the cat. I am thankful for a clean house. I am thankful for lentils. I am thankful for all the bright colors that are showing up every where. And well, you know? I am thankful for you. 

Here's to a weekend of sunshine and a very very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Field of Gold

"Field of Gold"

Recently, my friend Tiffany posted something on facebook about how her students had no idea who Paris Hilton is. What's totally freaky about that is that very morning while I was in the shower, I thought "what ever happened to Paris Hilton?" I thought this after looking up and seeing ants on the bathroom ceiling. Which made me start humming Lionel Richie's Dancing on the Ceiling. This in turn made me wonder about Lionel's daughter Nicole Richie who was bffs with Paris Hilton. Completely logical train of thought. 

We drove home from my Mom's house Saturday evening, leaving early enough in the day to have daylight through most of our drive. At least up to the last hour or so. The section between Joplin and Kansas City is one long straight line and the highway is surrounded by a seemingly endless flat landscape of fields and farmland. It can be a tedious drive. We were somewhere in the middle of it when we started to pass a semi. As we neared level with the driver of that semi, I started to pump my fist in the air, giving him the universal blow your horn sign. Then the driver honked twice and Michael and I cheered and clapped all while the Cabbage sat oblivious and uninterested in the backseat. I looked at Michael and asked "do kids even do that anymore? try to get the semi to honk?" He shook his head and replied "maybe not." 

The other day the Cabbage was telling Michael about a video she had on her mom's phone that she watches to brush her teeth. Michael asked her where she found the video and the Cabbage said "I just asked the phone." The kids growing up today don't even really need to read or write. They can just tap a button and ask a question. Eventually they won't even know how to open a door or a window and they will not know that you can get a truck driver to blow his horn. They will not know that Strawberry Shortcake dolls smelled like strawberries or lemons or blueberry pie and they will not know how to look at a paper map and find anything. For a moment I was a little sad about all the little simplicities that children today would not know, but then I realized I sounded like the old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn. The kids growing up today have Strawberry Shortcakes of their own and their maps are three dimensional with real buildings. Same but not same. I am thankful that I can teach the Cabbage the universal blow your horn signal. Thursday, I did all kinds of responsible grown up things like scheduling doctor appointments and managing finances, which made me thankful for those reminders to think and be like a kid.

We rescued a baby rabbit from the cat Sunday night and Josephine ate half a chocolate easter bunny Wednesday night. The animals are keeping us on our toes and have a thing for bunnies. I'm thankful we were able to save the live one and I'm thankful that Josephine didn't eat enough chocolate to hurt her. Jr, my great nephew, is coming home from basic training this weekend. Everyone has missed his face so dang much. I'm thankful for his return. I am thankful for a box of lemons that Heather sent me from California. I am thankful for a quiet weekend. I am thankful for you.

Here's to a weekend of gardens and chickens and here's to a wonderful Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Bud

"Bud"

I don't think I've done a full twenty minute savasana since before Chris died. Now that's a confession. During my yoga teacher training, I drank up the Kool-aid that savasana is the hardest, yet most important part of any yoga practice. Twenty minutes is just enough time for your body to relax and heal. I used to picture my cells relaxing and healing on the molecular level, mentally imagining telomeres pulling DNA apart as cells divided. Of course, because I am a scientist. Twenty minutes is just long enough to get to that place between awake and asleep and be present in that place for a moment. Ten minutes is just about all I can give these days to savasana and even then there are times I just give up and stop the timer before the chimes can go off. The irony is that most days, I would pay money to be able to just lay down for twenty minutes. 

Savasana, corpse pose, is the practice of dying. I've heard some people take it as far as to mentally say goodbye to people and places, even their bodies, while in savasana. I've done that. I've said my goodbyes and sure, it's good practice for having to say goodbyes in the real world. I'll admit that it has come in handy. Recently (?), the things that bubble up in my brain while trying to play dead has shoved the ritual of saying goodbye over to the wayside. I have conversations with people where I tell them exactly how they make me feel. I have whole dialogues where I stand up for myself and I don't let who ever it is talk to me or treat me a certain way. In these conversations, I am sharp and eloquent. I get my point across. I make that person realize that their words and or actions are hurtful with out invoking useless blanket words like "you're just an asshole". Instead, I make them understand why they are an asshole. When I should be dying, I am addressing grievances that have happened days ago, weeks ago, years ago. Some of those grievances get me so riled up that I can't lay still and I don't even try to. 

Many of you are thinking that this probably is not a good use of my yoga time.  I don't know. Maybe. But there's the occasion when I say my piece and I get it all out there and it doesn't matter that it wasn't heard by the one who caused the grievance. Truth be told, it wouldn't make a difference to that person anyway. It is just enough that I said the words. It is enough for me to just say "hey, this hurt my feelings and here's why." This is enough to allow me to let that grievance go, to say goodbye to that particular grievance. It has taken me some time to come to terms with this. I have grievances that I just need to let go of and when I die there will be grievances that I will have to say goodbye to whether I'm ready or not. I am thankful to recognize this as part of the practice. I am thankful to recognize that even though I seem to have a lot of grievances right now, I will let those go. I will get back to twenty minute savasanas. Some day.

I am thankful that our cat, Albus loves us so much. He left us a dead rat in the middle of the dinning room on Wednesday. He's so thoughtful to have killed it for us this time. I am thankful for the dozen eggs I have to take to my mother this weekend. I am thankful to able to getaway for a visit with my family even if it will be brief. Michael spent part of his Spring Break taking care of the vehicles. I am thankful that he went to the DMV for my tags and that he took my car to get an oil change. I am thankful for Greek yogurt and walnuts. I am thankful for the time spent on my yoga mat. I am always thankful for you.

Here's to a lovely weekend and truly Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Snow

"Snow"

Albus does this thing around 2:30 in the morning where he sits outside my door and starts meowing like the most heartbroken meow. Of course this wakes up me and Josephine, who is all "hey! the chew toy is awake!" Then Josephine thinks she needs to go outside. So I get up and let Josephine out and the cat comes in and begins to attack me with love and wet kisses that end with a bite on my knuckles. Then Josephine will come back in and the two of them will start mauling each other until I say "ENOUGH!" and kick the cat out. Sometimes they calm down and the both of them settle back into sleep at the end of the bed. Those are moment when I'm all "oh, my animals are so sweet and loving." even though they've interrupted dreams. 

Thursday morning like clock work, Albus shows up caterwauling. I repeat the routine of opening the door and letting the dog out and the cat in. Things proceed as normal. I vaguely remember hearing a weird sound when the two of them where tossing each other around at the end of the bed, but sleep walking investigation is not really my thing. I rolled over and ignored it. Eventually, the cat got kicked out any way. When the alarm went off, I got up and flipped on the light to find vomit on the end of the bed all over my expensive, dry-clean only, wool, Ireland blanket. I can't have nice things. I cleaned up the vomit assuming it was Josephine's. We'd given her a filled hoof the other day and I didn't really investigate what that hoof was filled with. Josephine has been obsessed with that thing ever since we gave it to her. It's empty, but she drags it around with her every where. I woke up with it next to me in bed one morning. It was like waking up to that horse head from the Godfather, except more pointy and less squishy. Any way, the blanket will have to go to the cleaner's and my comforter went into the washing machine. I was putting my comforter into the washer when I noticed another pile of vomit in the basement. Albus was the puker. That mouse head he ate the other day must not have settled well with him. The idea of it sure hasn't settled well with me. Animals are gross. There are muddy paw prints of evidence every where. 

Wait! It gets better. I got to work and it started snowing. Like someone shook up a snow globe kind of snowing. Big fat wet flakes came raining down all blizzard style and tears welled up in my eyes. Then I pulled out my phone and started taking pictures of it. This action did not bring out the sun, but it did dry up my tears. Wait! Just wait! It gets even better. I went to the dentist to have a temporary inlay taken out and a permanent inlay put in. I asked if we could try doing this without numbing my face because I feel like a numb face is worse than the actual procedure. The hygienist said "let's give it a try!" She said they could numb me if it gets too uncomfortable, but it never did and I left the dentist's office feeling like I could lift cars. I spent the rest of my day feeling like I should be walking around karate chopping things. I told you things got better! My day started with cat vomit, but ended with high fives all around. So today, I am thankful for days that may start out sour but end up sweet.

Oh. Hold up. I wrote all of that yesterday before the cat brought a live rat into the house. Michael and I were having a relaxing evening on the couch when I saw the cat streak across the dining room and dive under my desk. He came out from under the desk with something large and furry in his mouth that went "eek". Of course when Michael jumped up to do something, the cat dropped the rat. So the dog and the cat where corralling a rat under the kitchen table until Michael could get something to trap the rat. I peeped out from under the blanket I was hiding under just in time to see Michael beat the rat half to death with the broom. We cleaned up the carnage and then the cat laid down in the middle of the floor all smug with blood on his face. He worked really hard at earning his asshole badge yesterday. But I am thankful that Albus got the rat because rats will mess with chickens. So, hey! High fives all around!

I am thankful for the tulips that have started popping up around here. I am thankful for a phone call with a friend that made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe for a minute. I am thankful for all the steps taken and all the time on my mat. I am thankful for eggs. We have lots of eggs and they will all be deviled for Terry's Easter Extravaganza. I am thankful for this Good Friday that marks the beginning of Michael's Spring Break. He really needs the break. This week was one where we were two ships constantly passing each other. Monday evening was the most time we've spent together all week. So I have taken today off so we can spend time together... cleaning out the basement! Cat vomit and all! 

Hope you have an egg colored weekend and a fantastically good and Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Unfurl

"Unfurl"

I have thought long and hard about what to write for today's Thankful Friday. I always feel an urge to write something deeper and more meaningful than just the simplicity of gratitude. Today, I am full even though my stomach constantly grumbles with hunger. This is what happens when I start riding my bike. I want to eat the whole world. I am not a snacker, but now find myself searching and scrambling for snacks. The other day I ate a stale granola bar with raisins in it. RAISINS. I couldn't even be bothered to pick those awful things out. I just closed my eyes and pretended they weren't there. I am thankful for that granola bar though, as stale and full of raisins as it was, but that's not where I had intended to take today's entry.

No. The real story here is that my belly may feel empty, but my soul is full. I mean, I guess it's my soul that is full. My days are for sure full. They have been so full that I have left here every evening with the intention of at the very least vacuuming the house when I get home only to be so physically exhausted that it is all I can do to cook dinner. I walk into the house and I am greeted with the most excited to see you puppy and I look longingly at the bed while Josephine hops all around my feet. I resist the urge to lay down for just a minute because I know that if sat down at that moment, that would be it for the night. Dinner would not get made. Eggs would not be collected and chickens would not get fed. So I don't sit down until it's time to eat. But when I say my days have been full, I do not mean that they have been full of just exhausting things. They have been full of great things.

I have started every morning on my yoga mat, with the exception of Wednesday which is reserved for an evening yoga class. It has been so glorious that I think this may be my new thing. The rest of my day has been filled up with learning new stuff and performing tasks that I used to do on a regular basis when I worked with Margaret. Some of it is tedious, but the end results have been exciting and thrilling and I am having the best time. I rode my bicycle home yesterday and it was such a pleasant ride home even though my allergies made it look like I was crying. I was not crying. My eyes were just leaking and so was my nose. And even though I know that some of my exhaustion has been caused by other things including the time change, I am thankful for it. The days have expanded with our illusion of the extra hour of daylight. I am thankful for the fullness of these days and I am thankful for that illusion. 

March came in around here like a lamb, but today has decided to roar. It snowed here this morning and the weekend high is in the high forties. I am thankful for the moments this week where the weather was bright and sunny. I am thankful for the moments this week where I was outside, enjoying that bright sunny warmth. I am thankful for puppies who hop around my feet with excitement when I come home. I am thankful for Nutella filled hippo cookies. I am thankful giant hills to coast down. I am thankful for stale granola bars. And I am ever so thankful for you.

Here's to a lovely weekend and a super Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Bloomers

"Bloomers"

I auditioned for Listen To Your Mother (LTYM). This was the whole reason for our impromptu getaway to St. Louis the other weekend. Naomi and Laura (the women producing the St. Louis LTYM) told me that they had over a hundred entries and were listening to forty people. I read my piece for them and they were very complimentary of my writing and very encouraging, but I did not make the final cut. I was actually relieved when I got the news. I had already started fretting about the logistics of getting to rehearsals. I have a work conference in New York the week before the performance and I was worried about how I was going to make all of that work. Then there was the part about having to actually read my piece in front of an audience. My voice cracked twice while reading to the two people at the audition. The idea of reading it front of a large crowd had already tied me in knots. So you're probably wondering why I would submit anything for consideration at all if I was just going to get crazy worked up over it. 

I needed to submit this particular piece of writing. I needed to step off a ledge and make myself a little bit vulnerable. First of all, I'm thankful for people like Naomi and Laura who put so much hard work into producing a show like LTYM. Between reading all the submissions and deciding what stories to hear out loud and then whittling it down to the final thirteen for the show, they have a very tough job. I saw them somewhere in the middle of their second day of auditions and they made me feel like I was the first one they had listened to all weekend. I am thankful for their generosity and kindness. There was something extremely validating about hearing these two strangers tell me how much they loved my writing. I am thankful for the opportunity to audition, even if it was just an audition. 

This is the week I have started my sabbatical. It's like being away at camp without leaving the area. It is also like trying to cook in a stranger's kitchen with that stranger looking over your shoulder. I'm nervous and still getting my bench work sea legs back. The good news is, I still know how to use some of these tools. I realize I'm being cryptic, but I don't like to blog about work. I am thankful for this sabbatical though because I'm having loads of fun learning some new things. This is also why it has been sparse around here. I've just been to busy and filled with managing my calendar to really put much thought into writing. I realize that only months ago I told you that there was a writing demon that needed to be exorcised from my body. That demon just has to put a lid on it for a little while. Just until I get things organized in other places of my life.

I think Spring has finally arrived. All the trees are covered in a light green or purple haze. The tulip trees have bloomed and green things are sprouting out of the ground. This weekend, we will start on the garden and get some things planted even though I haven't had a chance to finish planning exactly what we're going to plant. I am ready to dig in the dirt, so I'm thankful for this weather, but I am also thankful that this weather is also scooter weather. I am thankful for time spent with friends. I am thankful for a very silly puppy and a cat that walked in with the dirtiest face the other day. I am thankful for all of you who have made a donation to my AIDS Walk page. I am thankful for all of you.

Here's to a Springy weekend and super Thankful Friday!

GRATITUDE AND FUNDRAISING AND SEX, OH MY

The other night I had two different dreams. One was about teaching yoga, which is a whole other story. The other one was weird. There was a group of us hanging out around a table. Whitney, you were there and so was Talaura and some people I didn't know. One of those people I didn't know had this hand cream and held it up and said "OK, now we play a game. We pass the hand cream around. When it gets to you, you have to put a little on the back of your hand, smell it and then tell us all about the most meaningful sex you've ever had." I'm really glad I woke up before it was my turn. Except when I woke up, the whole question of the most meaningful sex was still swimming around in my head. 

Our society has placed such an emphasis on the sanctity of a girls virginity, that we are expected to believe that our first time is our most meaningful sexual experience. I guess, in a way, this is kind of true. The first time anything happens in life is generally celebrated. The first birthday. The first step. The first baby tooth to fall out. The first time you ride a bike all on your own. These are big moments. It stands to reason that the first time you have sex is a big life event. Except for girls, it's supposed to be THE event. I've heard enough stories to know that many women have had very disappointing first time experiences. There were no rose petals or fireworks like they were made to believe would happen. We place more value on virginity than we do on self worth. To all those young girls out there, it's not your vagina that deserves better than Joey Martin's basement couch. It's YOU that deserves better. Also...don't ever expect the Joey Martins of the world to have a condom. (Side note: I do not know a Joey Martin, nor have I had sex with him on a basement couch. Houses in Oklahoma don't even have basements.)

I was pretty lucky. I did not see fireworks my first time around, but it was an enjoyable experience. That's because I had a kind and considerate partner. I had a partner who I trusted and who I could communicate with. We knew each other's sexual history. I knew with out a doubt that I was with someone who valued me. Yet even with all of that, I'm not so sure that I can say that my first time was the most meaningful sex I have ever had. Honestly, if I had to answer that question right now, I'd say that my most meaningful sexual experience was the first time I had sex after Chris died. That first time after Chris proved to me that I wasn't broken and that I could trust someone other than Chris. It was proof that I could continue. 

I raise money for the AIDS Walk Foundation of Kansas City every year because that money goes to fund programs that teach people the importance of communicating with your sexual partner, not to mention free STD testing. Because if you think you're immune to STDs because you take a birth control pill every day, you are delusional. Know your body. Know your partner's body. But most important, know yourself. These are the lessons that AIDS Walk charities teach. I am so thankful to each and everyone of you who donate to my fundraising page every year. Marsha has officially started my fundraising by making the first donation to my AIDS Walk page. Thank you so much Marsha!

The AIDS Walk Open is this weekend. This is a big event that raises a lot of money for the foundations, but is super fun. Twelve bars! Twelve putt-putt courses! I'm on a team that's decided to dress up and try to win the costume contest (we are going to win!). I promise to take and post some pictures. I'm thankful for a whole bunch of stuff this week, but mostly I'm thankful for you guys. 

Have a great weekend and a truly Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Rally

"Rally"

It's Friday!!!! For reelz people. This week kind of reminds me of trying to leave the zoo after spending the day there with a toddler and no stroller. You can either make the child walk or carry the sticky cranky beast out through the sea of cars into the depths of the parking lot. Either way, all you want to do is get to that car. This is the only thing that you are thinking as you are half carrying, half dragging said toddler through the desert of hot pavement. Get to the car. Friday is that car. Everyone around me right now completely agrees with me. This week was hard. 

Yesterday, I went back to the dentist because he wanted to do an overlay of my bicuspids on the right side of my mouth. They let you pick out something to watch on the TV screen hanging on the ceiling and their collection is a mix of concerts and DVDs. One time I chose a Jim Gaffigan stand up DVD. Oh, how we all laughed and laughed. This time I chose an ABBA DVD, to which at one point my dentist said "Wait! I need a minute. I'm being taken over by the music and she's going to end up with Disco teeth." I always opt for the nitrous oxide when I go to the dentist just because it keeps me from wanting to jump out of the chair. Nitrous oxide while watching ABBA is totally trippy awesome. In one of the videos, one of the female singers is dressed in a tunic and leggings with tall boots and I thought "hey! I have that outfit!" I dress like ABBA. As the dentist was drilling bad stuff out of my tooth, he realized that my tooth wasn't that bad. To do an overlay, he'd have to remove a whole lot of good healthy tooth and he said that was unethical. Instead, he's just going to do an inlay. I have a temporary inlay in place now. It feels weird, like I have a piece rough silly putty stuck up inside my tooth. So, I'm super thankful I get to keep most of my tooth and that the inlay is cheaper than an overlay (which I think is really crown, but I don't know). 

Then I went to an AIDS Walk Memorial planning meeting at Bistro 303, which was also hosting a Hillary Clinton rally. We came up with a game plan for the memorial flags and then we listened to some inspiring people talk about why we need to vote and why we should vote for Hillary. It kind of lit that fire I used to have for politics, like the time I helped campaign for John Kerry in the reddest of the red states. Man, was I on fire to change the world back then. Whoo! I was so young and idealistic. Now I'm content with just changing my neighborhood. In the middle of all of this, I received a phone call from the dog chip people telling me that Adam had my dog. Apparently she'd escaped the back yard three times that evening. The last time ended her in doggie jail. She's spending the day in her crate until we can dog proof the fence (again). I am so thankful that Adam got her before a car did and I'm thankful that he did the right thing by calling the number on her tag. Thank you, Adam! (He doesn't even know this blog exists.)

That gets me back to today where, once again I will say that I'm thankful it is Friday. Michael and I are escaping for an impromptu getaway. This is something we have not done in a really long time. With illness and school and crazy scheduling, it has been hard to make some time for just the two of us. I'm thankful for this. Terry is going to keep Josephine for us. I am equal parts nervous and thankful for this. I am not worried about Terry's ability to spoil my dog rotten. I am a little worried about Josephine being a good, polite house guest. Let me just that I am so thankful for Terry. I am thankful for many things when I sit down and really think about it. We think all four chickens are now laying eggs. The number of eggs we collect daily ranges anywhere between two and four. We bought a clear reusable egg holder for the refrigerator and it is such a joy to open the fridge and see all the different egg colors. I am thankful for fresh eggs. I am thankful for sunshine. I am thankful for Michael who ordered a pizza that night this week when I was too tired and annoyed to make dinner. I am thankful for you.

Have a pleasant weekend, but truly enjoy this Thankful Friday. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Instagram photo by Cindy Maddera * Feb 3, 2016 at 9:18pm UTC

See this Instagram photo by @elephant_soap * 6 likes

This morning, I stepped outside and walked. I walked all the way around the fountains and back to my desk and I didn't wear a coat, only a light sweater. The wind was blowing, but the sun reflecting off the windows, warmed my face. Minutes later clouds would come in and block the sun, but for that tiny moment, it was mine. Adele was singing Send My Love into my headphones, which made me want to skip along the sidewalk. I looked down to see the tips of green things popping out of the ground, the early signs of tulips. In just a matter of weeks, all the flower beds around here will be filled with tulips. My heart lifted.

I know that this is a tease. Next week we will see cooler temperatures. It will float back and forth between cold and comfortable for weeks. It may even snow a time or too before Mother Nature gives in and declares it officially Spring. I know that I should remind my lifting heart of all of those things and tell it to not get too excited. I know that in a couple of days when the temperatures drop, I will be slightly crushed. But for now? For right this minute? I'm going to relish in this teasing moment of Spring. I'm going to walk outside. I'm going to make plans to clear the garden and work in the yard. I'm going make sure the scooter tires and the bicycle tires are aired up so I can be ready at any moment to ride on two wheels. I am going to let my heart be lifted.

And I am going to be grateful for all of it. 

Today, I am thankful for sunshine and Fun Dip. I am thankful for new headphones which sounds silly, but my other ones broke and I couldn't listen to music for two whole days. I am thankful for dentist appointments where they tell me what an amazing job I've done at flossing and how I'm the best patient. I am thankful for those moments when I can breathe through my nose, mint tea with honey and Kleenex. I am thankful for you.

Happy weekend and happy Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Helper

"Helper"

Thursday night, all I had to do when I got home was turn on the oven, take dinner out of the fridge and then place into the oven. There was no chopping. There was no opening of jars or cans. No assembling. There was just the simple act of moving a baking dish from one spot to another. And even then, I did not end up being the one to do the moving. Michael did that. I did not cheat either. We still ate a dinner of whole foods. I still chopped fresh vegetables. I still opened a jar and assembled a meal. I just did all of those things the night before. And I am so glad I did. I'm not just glad, but thankful.

Thursday turned out to be the kind of day that felt like I was in a marathon aerobics class. It was ten in the morning before I was able to even take a sip of my first cup of coffee. In fact I ended up still sending out work emails from home at six in the evening. This is not a normal day. I'm usually busy, but more at a leisurely pace kind of busy. I have time in between things. Yesterday there was zero in between time. Then, once I got home, Josephine was glued to me like she hadn't seen me in days and days. This is because dogs know. They just know that you need to be still and the only way you're going to be still is if they lay on you. So after helping Michael change out water feeders and collecting (3!) eggs from the coop and eating dinner, I let Josephine lay on me until my foot fell asleep. 

I am thankful for easy dinner nights. I am thankful for fresh eggs. I am thankful for the little bit of green I saw pushing it's way up through the dirt. I am thankful for a cat who acts like he's so cool, but then does something totally silly. I am thankful for a dog who holds me still. 

I am thankful for you. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I had planned Monday as a vacation day in anticipation of having a hangover from our progressive dinner. Except when I woke up Monday morning, I felt just fine. I used the day to do some of the things I didn't get done on Sunday. I finished the laundry and made ghee. I watched Room and wrote a blog entry. I dusted the house and rearranged some elephants. I brushed my teeth but didn't wear a bra all day. Truth be told, this all stuff I would have done if I had been hungover. I just would have been more grumbly about it. I am not good at taking a vacation day unless it is vacation for actual travel. But hey, for some people having some time to dust the house with out interruption is vacation worthy. I'm talking about me. I'm the only person on the planet that would think dusting is a vacation activity. I'm planning a whole week of vacation that involves cleaning out a basement. 

Looking at my calendar today, I realized that taking Monday off to dust was not a bad idea at all. Last night was the AIDS Walk Kickoff party. It's official. We are moving into serious fund raising season. Last year I decided that I wanted to help out a little more, not with donations, but with my time. I told Terry that we'd get the flags for the walk organized and on hangers before the walk and I still want to make that happen. Terry, we're making an IKEA trip soon and having a flag organizing social. I'd like to make that whole thing a bit easier for him because that day is hard enough. Of course, I'd also like to raise some money. My AIDS Walk Fundraising page is up and active! Any way, there's going to be a lot of AIDS Walk things coming up and I want to be involved even it means that I will have less time for dusting and being a hermit. 

I am grateful for both of those things. That is, I am thankful for the days I can be a hermit and I am thankful for the activities that are coming up that do not allow for hermitage. I am also thankful to have any part in fundraising for the AIDS Walk. My experience with the AIDS Walk KCMO has been so different and so much more rewarding than when I raised money in Oklahoma City. I think it's because I do more than just raise some money. I carry a flag bearing a name of someone who lost the battle. So we don't forget. I am thankful for being able to do that and I am thankful for Terry who has provided me with that opportunity. 

This has been a good week with lots to be thankful for. I am thankful for warmer temperatures. I am thankful for the eggs from the chickens. I am thankful for really good moments on my yoga mat. I am thankful for the promise of a productive weekend. And as always, I am so thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend celebrating the Year of the Monkey and a truly Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Instagram photo by Cindy Maddera * Jan 22, 2016 at 2:50pm UTC

See this Instagram photo by @elephant_soap

For years, for most years I can remember any way, Katrina had a china cabinet that was filled will all kinds of porcelain, ceramic, and glass cats. Except for one shelf. On that shelf, she had five different elephants. Three of them were pitchers and two of them were tiny planters and I coveted them. The first time I saw them, I reached for them with my hands, just assuming that they were mine. Katrina politely said "No way, young lady!" and then told me that I could have those when she died. Which seems like something really morbid to tell a child, but at the time I was probably thirty, trapped inside a ten year old. Any way, I knew that one day, when Katrina passed away, I would have those lovely elephants and remember that they used to sit in a cabinet full of cats and think fondly of Katrina's bipolar collections. 

When we all sat down for dinner together last Saturday, Randy handed Mom her gift bag and then he handed me a large gift bag. I was confused. My tattoo was birthday present from Randy and Katrina, so I didn't understand why I was getting another gift. I said "You were not supposed to buy me anything." Katrina replied "I didn't." And I knew then, before I had even unwrapped the first elephant. She gave me those elephants I had coveted for all this time and of course I got all teary about it. Do not fret though. Katrina is not dying. She will be with us for a good long time if I have any say in the matter. She just thought it was time for me to enjoy those elephants. I'm going to fill them with cacti. I am thankful for Katrina and her elephants.

I am thankful for the wonderful weekend I spent with Mom. We had a really nice visit. Her kitchen is coming together nicely. She's seems really happy and that makes me happy. I am grateful for her happiness and grateful for her health. She got a little sickly on us for a while there, but seems to be on the mend and back to her more active self. I am really grateful for this because I plan on celebrating many more birthdays with her. And speaking of birthdays, I am so grateful for every single birthday wish that came my way. I know that there were a couple of people in that list who are dealing with some hard losses of their own right now and they took a moment to tell me Happy Birthday. That's humbling, but I also know that being able to get on Facebook and send someone else good wishes is an easy distraction in times like that. My heart and love are with those people today. 

I'm so grateful for a lot of things and people this week. Marguerite has laid two eggs this week. We know it's her because the eggs are greenish blue. Michael bought them a heated water feeder and they love it. I came home on Sunday to a fresh layer of snow. Just a thin layer, but it has stuck around because it's been too cold to melt. Thursday morning I mention to Michael that maybe we should try to take the Cabbage sledding this weekend. He informed that there was not enough snow for sledding. So...it snowed a little more that day. Actually, it snowed all day yesterday and it was really quite pretty. I am thankful that for once I could look at the snow with joy instead of my usual grumbles. 

Here's to a weekend full of sledding and hot chocolate. And here's to a wonderful Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Mom #365

"Mom #365"

My brother told me that my mom took design classes when they were building the Collinsville house. At first I was totally surprised, but then I wasn't at all surprised. She was always taking down wallpaper and putting up new wallpaper. She constantly rearranged the furniture. She always had baskets of floral arrangements put here and there. Don't even get me started on her throw pillows. Mom has always been creative and our home always reflected this. It's not just the creativity thing though. Mom wanted to know more about house design so she took a class. This is typical mom. She wanted know how to do pottery. She took a class. Her job before I was born was to fix jewelry. I'm sure she took a class to learn how to do that. Mom wanted to do this or that, she took the time to learn about it and then did it. Whatever it was. She's still doing that. Right now she's in the middle of completely remodeling her kitchen. 

This independence, this do-it-yourself mentality is a trait that I inherited from Mom. Some people may call us stubborn. That's probably true. There for sure is some stubbornness to our tenacity to accomplish a task. Mom burned her wrist while setting fire to a bunch a garbage in the old swimming pool one time. She probably shouldn't have been out there trying to do that by herself, but she was like "fuck it! I'm getting rid of this garbage!" Except she would not have used those exact words. Ever. The other day I bruised my knee when I tried to rest the whole dang chicken coop on it so I could change out their water. I probably should have waited for help, but I was like "I CAN DO IT ALL!" Stubborn and independent. Those two words sum up my mother and I pretty well. Despite the trouble my stubborn independence has gotten me into at times, I am grateful that this is something I inherited from Mom. And I when I say "gotten me into trouble", I will say that it's never been any kind of trouble I haven't been able to get out of. Mostly.

I tell you this today because it is my fiercely independent Mother's birthday! Mom, thank you for teaching me the value of self reliance. Actually, I want to thank you for teaching me so much more than this and I'm thankful that you're around to keep on teaching me stuff and being there when I drop my stubbornness and need you. My birthday wish for you this year is that kitchen fairies come in and speed up the remodel in some magical wonderful way. I am also thankful for the time we'll have together this weekend. We're having a girlie girl weekend. What else? Michael has had some sort of head cold like thing all week. The guys at work have it too. I am thankful that I have been able to avoid it. I am thankful that I can bend over, put my shoes on and get back up. I am thankful for slightly warmer temperatures. 

I am always thankful for you. Here's to a weekend of cucumber slices on the eyes and a super Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I've been trying to figure out a way to incorporate a meditation practice into my mornings or anywhere really. My morning is already so full and has to be well choreographed and timed that I can't see where to wedge in at least fifteen minutes of meditation. This is what a typical morning tends to look like for me. I sit up in bed, drink the lemon water I sat on my nightstand the night before, and scratch the dog behind her ears. While I'm drinking the lemon water and scratching the dog's head, I'll watch a white paw reach under the door and slide back and forth. The paw belongs the meowing Albus who is waiting for me and Josephine to open the door so he can talk to us. About his almost empty food bowl. I get up and open the door. Josephine and I say "good morning!" to the cat and then I go make sure they all have food in their bowls. Then I hop in the shower. After I shower, I use my Neti pot, brush my teeth, put on a little mascara and fix my hair. Next thing I do is get dressed, which may or may not require me to retrieve my bra from the backyard (Josephine). 

Now it's time to make breakfast. While I'm cooking breakfast, I put away the clean dishes that are in the drainboard. I also run outside to start the cars so we don't have to scrape windows. I put my lunch in my lunch bag. I boil water for Michael's tea and fill his travel mug and I make sure the things he will need for the day is sitting together in one place on the table. I eat breakfast while reading my daily Skimm, kiss Michael goodbye and then (if time permits) wash my dishes. Then I put on my coat, block the dog door into the kitchen and kick the animals out into the garage. I set the alarm to the house, walk out the door and jump into my car. 

Well, I think maybe this is the week I've figured it out where to squeeze in fifteen minutes. Every morning this week when I've gotten to work, the first thing I have done after putting my lunch in the fridge and taking off my coat is to throw my meditation pillow on the floor and sit down for fifteen minutes of meditation. I am the first one to work in the mornings and have the whole office to myself for almost an hour. So it's quiet and there are no interruptions. I just stay at work a little later than usual to make up for the meditation time. So far this is totally working. I mean, it's still very much a practice because my mind chatter lately has been off the charts with all kinds of random crap. But the point is that I am working on quieting that mind chatter. As a result, my days have been more focused and clear. 

I am thankful for those fifteen minutes this week. I could look at fifteen minutes and see a large block of time. I spend about the same amount of time cooking and eating my breakfast each morning. In fact, I probably spend less time performing those tasks. It's more likely that I spend that amount of time cooking, eating and washing up. That's three tasks that can be accomplished in that block of time. Here I am waisting fifteen minutes by being still. Except I know that this moment of stillness is not a waste. It is valuable time where my brain can form new neuron paths and I can mentally prepare for the day. 

This has been a pretty good first week of the year. I have been on my mat every day. We have eggs. The snow is finally melting. I heard a song from David Bowie's new album on the radio yesterday (it made me swoon). I am grateful for all of this.

Here's to a lovely chilly weekend and a super Thankful Friday!

LOVETHURTHANKFRIHAPPYNEW

Cold

"Cold"

The tree is up and all the presents are wrapped. The annual viewing of Love Actually happened last night and now I have nothing to do but sit here and twiddle my thumbs until Christmas Eve. And maybe clean our bathroom before we head out to OK. Vacuum. I should vacuum. Maybe I'll make us some sandwiches for our Christmas day drive. You guys, I've never been this far ahead for Christmas. I don't know what to do with myself. I believe that the whole idea behind getting things done early was so I could sit back and relax. That idea was stupid because now I'm just feeling anxious about things that might need to be done even though there's nothing to be done. The car! The car needs to be cleaned out! That's something that needs to be done before Christmas. Anyway. Being prepared for Christmas means nothing for a person with crazy brain. 

So here's what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to worry about this space for a few days. Michael gave me my birthday present early because he couldn't wait and it has a thirteen day return policy. It's a new camera! He wanted me to have time to make sure it was all well and good before the thirteen day return was up. I think I'm going to take some time do just that. I'm going to play around with my new camera and take some photos. I'd also like to put together a slide show of all the things from 2015 to post here, as well as maybe a short vlog post about things I want for 2016. Look for those things sometime next week. 

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday. Be safe. Savor those hugs and smiles. Tear into those presents like it's the first time you've been given a wrapped gift. Then squeeze the person who gave you that gift so hard, you hear something pop. Sing silly carols as you drive to your Holiday destinations. Eat, drink and be merry. Merry Christmas. Happy Solstice. Hope your Hanukkah was a good eight days of lights. I hope all of you enjoy this time you have with your families how ever you plan to celebrate. 

Enjoy.