THANKFUL FRIDAY

If I go over to the gym at a specific time, I can use the yoga classroom for my own practice because there are no classes going on at the time. If I miss that timing window, I end up rolling out my mat between the windows and the exercise bikes. The exercise bikes are not the most popular and usually no one is on a bike while I’m moving through suryanamaskara. It’s not a big deal to me to have a possible audience because I have my headphones on and the volume up loud enough to drown out other gym noise. I’ve gotten adept at putting a mental bubble around me and my mat, but getting to use the yoga classroom gives me easy access to the yoga enhancers (props) and a bit of privacy.

That being said, I do not treat the space as my own personal space. I leave the doors open or at least partially open and I leave the sign outside turned to ‘open’. I want others to feel free to use the space even though I’m in there doing my own thing. It just feels selfish of me to claim this whole space for just myself. My schedule has been so wackadoodle that I’m struggling to carve out time for my own yoga practice. So when I do get the opportunity I make my practice really challenging. I’ve added hand weights to my suryanamaskara and mix in some dynamic movement, but I also leave time for a good long savasana (final relaxation). The end part of my practice is truly the most important part because I don’t get a savasana when I’m teaching classes. That’s twice a week where I’m doing and teaching without reaping the full benefits of yoga. My classes are not my practice.

This week, I was in that space doing my thing and I had just settled into final relaxation. I heard some other people in the gym, but quickly tuned them out. There was a singing bowl playlist playing through my headphones loud enough to feel the vibrations without damaging my ears. It was a good final relaxation. I wasn’t fidgety or crying (that happens). I sunk right in and landed in the space between awake and asleep. I was there for a good fifteen minutes and when the timer signaled the end, I peeled myself up to a seated position. When I opened my eyes, I noticed that someone had closed both doors to the yoga classroom. They had even turned the sign around to read “in use”.

My job and my service as a yoga teacher is to protect my students during their savasanas. I am the time keeper and on high alert watching over my student to ensure they are comfortable and feel safe. I take this job very seriously because I feel that savasana is (especially in our current lifestyle/environments) the most important thing a person can do for themselves. Not only does it allow the body to recover and adjust to the physical changes that happen during the moving parts of yoga, but it gives a body time and permission to just rest. I have taught at studios where I have had women tell me that they pay me so they can rest. It is their only guilt free moment and they need the permission to ‘indulge’. I think having to pay someone to give you permission to rest says a lot about what is happening in our society.

I did some investigating and it didn’t take much to find out who closed me up in the yoga room this week. I haven’t had the opportunity to thank them in person yet because they’re on vacation, but I want them to know how very grateful I am for their simple little act. By closing the doors and turning the sign around, this person gave me permission to fully relax in the space. Their actions were very much like having someone watch over and protect me during my own savasana, something I rarely get.

And this is a prime example of how small acts of thoughtful kindness has big impacts.

PANDEMIC

12/52

2 Likes, 0 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "12/52"

When I left work on Friday, I headed straight to Aldi to get a jump start on my grocery shopping for the weekend. I had seen pictures of cleaned out stores, but I still was not all that concerned. Aldi was busy, but no more than usual for Friday evening. It did have a look of being marauded. If you needed bread or mushrooms or mac-n-cheese, you were not going to find it here. The canned goods isle was also slim pickings. I still managed to get most of the things on my list that usually comes from Aldi (our groceries are split between Aldi and Trader Joe’s). I made it to check out, got all of my things on the conveyor and then reached into my coat pocket for my wallet. Which was not there. I distinctly remember taking my wallet out of my bag and placing into the inside of my coat pocket. So this meant that my wallet had fallen out somewhere in the store.

My heart racing, I ran back to produce and the grapes. I had bent over to collect grapes that had fallen out of the packaging. That’s where my wallet had to have fallen out. I started lifting up crates of grapes and then I yelled “Has anyone seen a wallet!”. I heard someone gasp and say “oh no.” Then I ran back to check out where the cashier had just finished ringing up my items. By this time I was pretty frantic. I looked at her and said “I don’t have my wallet!” She rolled her eyes and sighed. Then she called a manager to come do an override. As she was doing this, the (very) young security guard walked up to me and said “Mam, what is your name?” I gave him all the names that people call me. Then he very seriously said “Mam. We have your wallet.” Then I turned into June Caprice reenacting any one of her damsel in distress scenes. Groceries paid for, I headed home to eat a gummy and stress clean the house. The next morning, I got back from finishing up the grocery shopping to find an envelope with only my last name written across it. I opened it to find my driver’s license and a note from the young security guard. He had removed my license to find out who the wallet belonged to, but had forgotten to put it back. He had hand delivered it to our home. An hour later, I was at the bank finishing up a refinance that required proof of identification. Reaching into my wallet and not finding my license there would have put a real wrench in things. We left the bank, bought a gift card and a thank you note which I hand delivered to that security guard.

I feel like I am standing in the middle of a frozen pond watching the ice break all around me. Meanwhile I’m standing on my own patch of ice, just floating along and pretending that everything is normal and okay. I am a scientist and I am not too concerned for myself in regards to the coronavirus. I am also not inclined to panic under such circumstances. Yet, seeing the state of the grocery stores followed with standing in the longest line at MicroCenter to buy an external hard drive, one can’t help but feel a little bit anxious right now. At some point during the day on Saturday, I realized that it would have been Chris and mine’s twenty second wedding anniversary. I laughed to myself and asked Chris “where do you think we would have gone this year?” As usual, there was no response. I irrationally think about how some events in this timeline would not happen if Chris were still living. Trump. Disney owning Star Wars and Marvel. The Tesla truck. The coronavirus.

Timelines are built on quicksand.

We have food. And toilet paper. My computer has been cleaned up and photos moved off of the hard drive so that if I have to work from home, my computer is ready. Right now, my little patch of ice is intact and we’re floating along.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Spring!

"Spring!"

Gratitude comes with the sun today. The other day I stepped outside and felt a warmth in the wind and could smell the sweetness of Spring. Up to then the wind still blew cold. It would look warm outside. The sun would be bright and the sky would be a clear blue, but you'd step outside and be hit in the face with a blast of cold air. Sometime in the middle of the week, that all changed. I have ridden the scooter, done yoga on a rooftop and taken my first morning coffee walk of the year. I pulled out the dead mums leftover from the Fall and replaced them with a bright orange pocketbook plant and some purple things I don't remember the name of. It is bliss and I am thankful for the warmth that is returning to my bones. It is the same every year. I bloom along side the tulips. 

This Spring, I feel slightly overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed with the usual things that need to be done. We are late getting seeds in the ground. I have a presentation for work. The dog is in desperate need for a grooming. I am leaving for a conference in a few weeks and I feel unprepared. They are just the usual daily life things. We all have them. Today I choose to be overwhelmed with gratitude. So many of you have donated to my AIDS Walk fundraising page. Every year I ask for donations and every year you guys step up for no other reason than your giant generous hearts. You overwhelm me with your kindness. And speaking of kindness, a box arrived on my doorstep containing one Janku Rey doll. I have no idea who sent it. I posted a picture on social media and as of writing this, I still have not figured out who to thank. No one is fessing up to sending it. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this random act. Those usual daily life things have easily taken a back seat to my heart full of gratitude. 

I am thankful for eggs. We have so many eggs in our fridge right now. Some of them will be given to the nice couple who gave us a bale of straw and a package of pine chips. I am thankful that we have had a whole two weeks without having to deal with a live or dead thing that Albus has brought in through the pet door. It has been thirteen days with out incident. Scratch that. It has been zero days without incident. I pried a dead rabbit out of Josephine's mouth this morning. She took it from the cat. I am thankful for a clean house. I am thankful for lentils. I am thankful for all the bright colors that are showing up every where. And well, you know? I am thankful for you. 

Here's to a weekend of sunshine and a very very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Our version of Little House on The Prairie

"Our version of Little House on The Prairie"

A couple of days ago, I was walking a loop around the fountains and as I came around a bend, I noticed a little girl. She couldn't have been older than three. I watched as she headed right over to the fountain wall and climbed up onto the ledge. I stood very still, closely watching the girl while trying to look around for an adult. Finally I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye to my right. A woman was in a car struggling to wrangle a younger sibling free from a car seat while holding onto a large McDonald's bag. She popped her head out and said "She's mine!" but then Grandma noticed where the little girl was sitting. She started calling the little girl's name, but the child didn't budge. Instead, she reached her hand out towards the water. This is where I stepped forward. I bent down to the child's level and said hello. Then I reached my hand out and said "would you like to come with me?"

Now I realize, in retrospect, that this sounded like I was trying to steal a toddler and if she had been more aware of stranger danger this could have gone really poorly. Luckily the child did not fear strangers. She smiled and nodded a "yes" and then jumped down from the ledge and grabbed my hand. She held my hand as I walked her over to her grandma and since grandma had her hands full, I asked the girl to grab a hold of grandma's t-shirt. The grandma thanked me profusely. She explained that they were waiting for the mother to get out of her class and that the two little ones just always seem to get away from her. I nodded in understanding and then said my goodbyes. We both went on our way. Later in the day I remembered Michael's story about being the fifth car.

An elderly teacher he works with was getting out of her car to go into her doctor's office one day when she fell. She could not get up. Meanwhile, cars kept pulling into the parking lot. One after one, the cars would move around her, find a parking space and the person would get and go on about their business. Finally, the fifth car stopped. An elderly gentleman got out of the car and helped the woman up. He then walked her into her doctor's office. She uses this story now to teach kindness and compassion to her students. The lesson is not to be the first four cars, but be the fifth car. Be the person who stops and helps. For some of us, we do not need to be reminded to be the fifth car. These simple acts of kindness and compassion just come naturally. I am grateful to know so many of these kinds of people.  I hear your stories and I think I am either very lucky or very smart to have surrounded myself with such good people.  I am grateful I could be the person to stop and help that grandma wrangle her grandchildren just as I am grateful for that person who stood holding the door open for me when they didn't have to.

I am thankful for the beautiful eggs from the chickens the week. I am thankful for leisurely bike rides home at the end of a long day. I am thankful for the time spent on my yoga mat. I am thankful for the fifth car and as always, I am thankful for you. Have a wonderful weekend and a truly Thankful Friday!