THANKFUL FRIDAY

Michael and I had the discussion on Monday evening about the possibility of Tuesday being a scooter day. His weather app had declared Monday to not be a scooter day when in fact it would have been a fine day for scooter riding. So he looked at the weather app Monday evening and declared that it would most definitely not be a scooter day on Tuesday. His app showed lightening bolts and clouds. He said “No. You will not be riding your scooter tomorrow.” and I sighed and said ‘okay’. But the next morning, I got up and walked Josephine. It was so nice outside. The sky did not have any hints of menace. When I got home from our walk, I checked my weather app and it looked clear except for a sharp peak of activity around 3:00PM that lasted an hour or so. I looked down at Josephine and said “I’m riding my scooter.”

The weather here has been unpredictable and messy. I feel like this time last year, I was riding my bicycle to work every other day and my scooter on the other days. Cold morning temps and rain showers have made two wheeled rides impossible. The most frustrating part is believing the weather report of rain and driving the car to work only to have a clear beautiful day. I was fed up and reminded myself of my rule of two wheels that I used to follow religiously.

The Rule of Two Wheels: If the temps are 40 or above and the sky is clear, I ride two wheels. If there is a possibility of rain, the two wheel vehicle is the scooter. No rain means bicycle. I only have to get to work dry.

So I rode my scooter on a day where there was one sharp peak of activity. What I didn’t plan for was that the sharp peak of activity was possible tornado weather and when I got to work, I got a little nervous. I sent a text to Michael to warn him that I had made a choice and that it might not have been the smartest choice, but I was prepared mentally for the consequences. Not physically. When I’d opened up my scooter seat that morning to put my lunch in the storage compartment, my rain coat that I sometimes keep in there wasn’t there. I shrugged, put my helmet on and scooted on to work without it. The storm rolled in at 3:00. Michael was trying to decide if he should bring my car up and ride my scooter home or go shelter in the basement and by the time he had made a decision the storm had moved past us. When I left work just after 6:00, the sky was completely clear. The temperatures were perfect with only a slight occasional breeze.

Perfect scooter riding conditions.

When I got home, Micheal had the garage door open for me. I walked into the house and he just shook his head and said something about how I managed yet again to ride between raindrops. Maybe this is one of my superpowers. But I must say, that taking the risk and surviving the risk was exhilarating. Sure, I’m grateful for making it to work and back home safe and dry. That’s an easy gratitude grasp. I don’t usually see myself as a risk taker. I’m sure there are many who would disagree with that statement, but I feel like most of my previous risky behaviors have happened out naivety. I don’t recognize a situation as a risk until I’m in the middle of it and then I might pause and say to myself “this might be dangerous.” But by the time I recognize it, it’s too late. I’m in it. I’m doing the thing. It’s sort of like the thought concept of how you could walk on water if you didn’t know you couldn’t walk on water. Technically I am of an age where people would say that I should know better. Gratefully, I have made it to this age without losing that naivity and that I still think I can do the thing even if it might be risky or a little dangerous.

Today was not a scooter day. It rained on us during our morning walk, cutting the walk short. But there were three good days of zipping down city streets, beeping hellos to friends as I passed by, and the joy that comes with riding a scooter. The risks are worth it.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This is one of those weeks where it is challenging to not fill this post up with words of negativity and despair. Tuesday evening, Michael and I parked vehicles in our driveway with the idea that he would be leaving first in the morning. We thought for sure that they would not cancel another day of school. The main roads were clear or mostly clear, but around 8:30 that evening Michael received the call that there would not be school on Wednesday. So we pulled on our boots and coats and went out to swap out vehicles. It was not a well timed or well choreographed event and I ended up having to drive away because a car was coming and Michael wasn’t in the driveway yet. Once you are headed east on my street, there’s not a lot of options for turning around and I ended up slipping and sliding my way up hill on an uncleared neighborhood street. At one point, I thought for sure that I was going to be stuck. It was dark. I wasn’t wearing my glasses and I didn’t have my phone. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled my car into the driveway just as Michael was locking up the house so he could come find me.

This almost could be a metaphor for the week as a whole. There was a lot of slipping and sliding and moments of feeling stuck. The accouterments for snowy weather are heavy and cumbersome. More care has to be taken just by walking to your car. I could have very easily been stranded and stuck in a snow drift, but no one had to come rescue me. I made it home. In spite of the drudgery of this week, I have gotten out of bed every morning and I have done my seven minutes of exercise while waiting for water to boil. Then I have sat in what I call Puppy Meditation. This is where I sip hot lemon and ginger water while petting and snuggling with Josephine. I made time for my own yoga practice and had a few dance parties at my desk. I even made it to the DMV to renew my driver’s license. I arrived fifteen minutes before they opened, was second in line and first to the licensing counter. It took me ten minutes to complete all the tasks, a task I had been dreading since my notice for renewal arrived two months ago.

While this particular week has felt like the length of an entire month, there has been goodness in it to be grateful for. In fact, I will make the argument that weeks that tend to feel more grueling and last longer than some, actually contain more moments of gratitude. Those moments are more clear and vivid in my memory than all the rest of the muck from the week and Puppy Meditation is probably the thing I am most grateful for. I tend to feel guilty for not taking Josephine on walks in the winter mornings. Sitting with her in the mornings and gently rubbing her belly reminds me that she doesn’t care what we are doing in the mornings as long as we are doing it together. She might even prefer Puppy Meditations to the walks. Petting dogs lowers cortisol (bad stress hormone) and increases oxytocin (feel good bonding hormone). Puppy Meditations is not sitting doing nothing.

I am grateful to be transitioning back into a routine that benefits my physical and mental well being.

Today’s weather has so far turned out to be not quite as bad as predicted. We did not receive the layer of ice followed up with more snow, which it is doing right now. Schools are closed again today, but mostly because of the severe cold. My weather app says that it is currently fourteen degrees outside, but feels like negative three. This is a weekend for mugs of tea and bowls of hot soup, for wrapping up in blankets and piling your lap with pets.

This is a weekend for making a choice of stillness.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Sometime back in the Spring, Misti made me download the Red Cross emergency app. Part of it came out of a text conversation we were having where she had texted me to see if we were okay and I was all shrug-your-shoulders and replied with “yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” Apparently there had been a tornado somewhere around me but we were oblivious. In fact we’d slept through the whole storm situation. This is where I confess that I am willfully oblivious to numbers and weather. I don’t pay attention to how much something costs (unless it’s unreasonable) and I don’t pay attention to the weather. My method of determining the weather is to stick my head outside and look up at the sky. If the sky is clear when I do this in the morning, then the weather must be okay for the scooter. You should know that I have been caught in the rain on the scooter more times when consulting Michael and his weather app than I have with my usual method.

I still don’t really know what the temperature or rain percentage is going to be on any given day, but the emergency app does send me an alert when I need to take shelter. I am sure this is a relief to those people who love me and know that I like to live dangerously. Every day this week, I have been alerted multiples times a day of excessive heat. That is because Kansas City has exceeded previous record temperatures with heat indices in the 120s. Summers in Oklahoma are legendary for months of 100 degree temperatures and consecutive days without rain. So for years, I’ve rolled my eyes at the people of Kansas City complaining about the heat. “Its not the heat.” They’d protest. “Its the humidity.” They’d moan.

This is the first summer where I am not rolling my eyes at the complaints. I can’t understand how there can be so much moisture in the air without rain. I drove to work with the windshield wipers on twice this week because there was so much condensation on the window, but there was not any rain. Yes, I drove my car because it is too hot to ride the scooter. TOO HOT TO RIDE THE SCOOTER! Half the doors in our house are swollen and stick. I basically body slammed my way through the front door Wednesday evening. Air handlers at work have been struggling and there was even talk of delaying experiments this week. Josephine and I still do our morning walks, but even at 5:30 in the morning the air is oppressive. Josephine comes in from the walk and belly flops onto the cool floor. The Weatherman I was listening to at the beginning of the week said “If you have activities planned for outside…just don’t.”

Just don’t.

A cold front is moving in this evening that promises to drop our temperatures into the high seventies and low eighties. I predict that all surrounding states will be able to hear the collective sigh of relief from the people here. The woeful question of “why is it sooooooo hoooooottttttttt?!?!” will be replaced with exclamations of gratitude. It reminds me of that time in grad-school when we’d had forty something days without rain. Then one evening it started raining and everyone in our apartment complex opened their doors and we all just stood in our doorways staring at the rain. Occasionally we’d converse back and forth and laugh over this and that, but most of us were just watching the rain. That’s what’s going to happen around 9:00 PM here tonight.

We have such great capacities for gratitude but some times, a little discomfort is required for us to be aware just how great that capacity can be.

SKY GLITTER

I knew it was going to be a cold walk this morning, but I was committed. I have a warm winter coat. I have a hat. I have mittens. I could do this. So, after Xtend Barre, I pulled on a special thermal shirt and my winter coat. I laced up my walking shoes and then I put Josephine’s walking harness on her. She gets so crazy excited about these walks every morning. She starts hopping up and down when she sees me putting my shoes on and the minute I buckle her harness, she takes off for the door. I always stop by Michael’s door and tell him we’re leaving because that’s his signal to get out of bed. This morning, as I walked to the front door, I could see the car parked on the curb in front of our house was covered in snow. I groaned and said to no one, but maybe Josephine “there’s snow on the ground!” but I still opened the door and stepped out into it.

Because Josephine was already in her walking harness. These walks and pooping in four very different places is her favorite thing. I couldn’t turn back now.

As we walked up the street, I could feel wet snow hitting my face. I thought about taking a shorter walk. We made it to the park and we were about halfway around the trail when we saw one of the women we usually see walking there in the mornings. We both smiled and said ‘good morning’ to each other as we passed. Josephine and I kept on walking. I looked up at one point and the snow in the trail lights looked like glitter falling from the sky. I realized I was smiling and then I was all “Wait…am I happy?!?” Everything from my knees down was cold. My toes were starting go numb. We had to stop twice to remove clumps of snow from the bottom of Josephine’s feet so she could walk (she’s going to need her own set of snow booties if we keep this up). Yet here I was almost giggling as we walked in the falling snow. I thought it had more to do with me accomplishing this walk despite my least favorite weather conditions, but every time I have looked out the window today, I have almost started laughing. It looks like a shook up snow globe out there. There is accumulating snow on the ground.

And I am not mad about it.

I mean, I’m not thrilled. Snow before Halloween is lulu crazy pants, particularly when you grew up in a place where you rarely had to wear a jacket or coat to go trick-or-treating. Except I hear that Oklahoma is getting ice and sleet today, which is unusual for this time of year. I don’t know why I am finding the snow to be so joyful today. Maybe I’m having a manic episode. Who knows? Last year, when we visited Heather in Denver for Thanksgiving, we walked almost everywhere we went. We walked the dogs to the park. We walked to the liquor store and the dispensary. We walked to restaurants and pilates class. There were multiple feets of snow on the ground. On our last evening, we were walking back from a lovely dinner. The snow started to come down really hard. We all just tucked our chins and kept on walking. At one point we stopped for a light to change so we could cross the street. I looked up at Michael and his beard was coated in snow. It was like he’d had a misfortunate interaction with some beignets. His beard was completely white. Of course I took a picture and then we laughed and laughed at it. I have been thinking about that moment off and on today. Michael has much less of a beard now because of his mask. He trimmed it short. That day last year though, I got a glimpse of what he might look like as Santa. I have retirement goals and one of those is the two of us working as Mr. and Mrs. Claus during the holidays. I am obsessed. Every time I see a plain clothes man with a Santa beard, I point at him say “Santa!”. Like I’m a four year old. It has nothing to do with Christmas and decorations, but everything to do with the joy of spotting Santa off duty.

It feels really weird and good to not be a frowning grumbling mess about what is happening outside my window right now.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Drip

8 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Drip"

Michael and The Cabbage got a pool membership for the summer. When they get home, Michael takes their towels and wet swimsuits and hangs them out on the line. That is usually where they stay until the next trip to the pool. I've noticed recently that leaving the towels and swimsuits on the line triggers the rain clouds to drop buckets of water some time around day three of being on the close line. The phenomenon of things left on the clothes line causing rain is becoming almost more accurate than the actual weatherman. These are things that I should pay more attention to, because I left the house Wednesday morning on the scooter. Sure, I noticed that the sky was overcast, but I did glance at my weather app that said there was only a 20% of rain. So really that should mean that there was an 80% chance that is would NOT rain. 

It started raining around lunch time. I was not concerned. I have seen this so many times. The clouds build up, drops a bunch of rain and then clears off well before it is time for me to head home for the day. Except, this time it didn't. There was still a steady rain coming down when I walked over to the gym for yoga class around five. It continued to rain all during class. Then, just as class was over, the rain subsided to a sprinkle. I barely felt a drop as I scooted home. The rain picked up again right after I parked the scooter in the garage. Michael just shook his head at my luck. I just grinned and said "I'm a ninja!" That, and I just have good timing. I am thankful for that brief pause of the rain so that I could scooter home without getting soaked. 

I am also really thankful for this rain, even though it has caused serious flash flooding in the KCMO area. It has been so hot here. Hot enough for me to notice that it is HOT. Usually I roll my eyes the people complaining about 95 degree temps, but this summer we have seen our fair share of a hundred degrees. Throw in high humidity and you would think we had moved to Costa Rica. Terry gave me some of his banana plants from his back yard. When I finally got around to planting them, they looked pretty dead. Now they're thriving. The banana plants are loving this weather. The rain that came through last night though, cooled every thing down to a balmy 85 degrees. I am thankful for the break in the heat.

What else? 

I am thankful for fans. The wind blowing kind. I am thankful for routines. I am thankful for my yoga mat and the time spent on it this week. I am thankful for pizza topped with arugula. I am thankful for you. Happy weekend to all. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Moment in the sun.

"Moment in the sun."

Gratitude. It's come to that time in the week where I sit down and reflect on things that I am grateful for during the week. Really, the first thing that comes to mind is that I'm kind of thankful this week is winding to an end. I'm not the type that likes to do that sort of thing. It sounds too whiny and the week hasn't been terrible. It has just been long and constant and busy. I'm looking forward to a weekend where I have zero plans except for a haircut on Sunday. There has been talk of cleaning up the back yard and maybe even having a fire pit night. I was thinking about that this morning as I washed my breakfast dishes. It is a Cabbage weekend. Visions of roasting hot dogs (tofu dogs) and marshmallows popped into my head. Then I thought "why stop there? Let's get out the tent and sleep in the backyard!" 

So, I guess, it's the weather that I am really grateful for this week. I've ridden the scooter to work every day except for Monday. The starting temps that day where just a little too cold. I  slept with the windows open last night and when I left for work this morning you could smell the ground thawing. Which reminds me. I have got to order seeds this weekend. For real this time. I noticed the mint peeking up through the dirt yesterday. Obviously mint is the plant that can convince any one that they are master gardeners or really bad at keeping their garden weed free. Even the dog is happy. Yesterday Josephine found a stick and stretched her legs out behind her with her belly on the warm grass and chewed and chewed. I am thankful to be able to step outside without wincing in discomfort from feeling the cold sting my bones. I am thankful for a weekend that promises to be nice enough to spend so much time outside. 

Michael starts his spring break this week. He has grand plans for his time off and one of those plans include building a chicken coop. He said to me this morning "this time next week we may very well have our own chickens." I gave him a questionable look and he said "I'm building a coop next week!" He's a city boy. Still, I'm sure he knows that building a coop does not mean building chickens. He's just very excited. I'm coming home to little wooden chickens aren't I? Any way. I'm super thankful that he gets to have this week off to tinker and do whatever. I bet if I play my cards right, I will not have to make dinner at all next week. I am thankful for the simple evenings we've had this week. I am thankful for walks with the dog. I am thankful that we only have four more episodes of House of Cards left because it is such a time suck. And as always, I am thankful for you. 

Hope your weekend is full of sunshine and you have the most thankful of Thankful Fridays.

WINTER WEDDING WONDERLAND

I've positioned myself right next to the cake.

"I've positioned myself right next to the cake."

Right now, I am currently propped on the couch watching last night's episode of Downton Abbey. Josephine is curled up asleep at my hip. I've taken today off so I could have a moment to set things straight before going back to work. Groceries needed to be purchased and I desperately needed to dust and vacuum, but all of that is done now. All that's left is to make this evenings dinner. So, I have a few hours to sit and compile my thoughts. Except now that I'm sitting down to do that, I realize I don't have too many thoughts to compile. 

Weekend trips to Oklahoma always seem to rush by in a blur. This one was mixed with snow and ice. The snow started just as Talaura and I reached Wichita. Roads didn't get bad until I made it to Oklahoma City just in time for rush hour. My last hour of driving was a bit tense, but I think this was more to do with the other drivers on the road than the weather. So I parked myself in the Jens' home and didn't leave until it was absolutely necessary. We ate Hideaway Pizza and ginger bread cookies and watched Mrs. Fisher's Murder Mysteries. It was so warm and cozy, I had to be reminded that the real reason for my visit was not sitting on a couch with a puppy on my lap. I was there for a wedding. And not just any wedding. Misti and Mark's wedding. 

I squeezed myself into a dress, put some lipstick on and headed out to celebrate. Which I did. Misti looked beautiful and it had nothing to do with her gown, though it was gorgeous. Every time I spotted Mark, he was grinning from ear to ear. Those two where lit with joy, the kind of joy that comes from declaring to all of your friends and family that you mean it. You mean to spend the rest of your happy days together. And they do. Chris used to always say "we want good things for those we love." He never said the reason for wanting those good things for our friends. The reason is that he and I both got great joy out of seeing our friends happy. Purely selfish reasons. My heart swelled with knowing that these two were so happy. We laughed, we drank, we ate cake and we danced. That's how happy we all were and are for these two people. 

I really couldn't be more happy for these two. I know we all wished for more time, but I think we did a good job of savoring the time we had together. I arrived in swirling snow and just as quickly as the weather changes in Oklahoma, I left. The roads where clear and the sky was blue and Misti was married. Sadie, Sadie.