SKY GLITTER

I knew it was going to be a cold walk this morning, but I was committed. I have a warm winter coat. I have a hat. I have mittens. I could do this. So, after Xtend Barre, I pulled on a special thermal shirt and my winter coat. I laced up my walking shoes and then I put Josephine’s walking harness on her. She gets so crazy excited about these walks every morning. She starts hopping up and down when she sees me putting my shoes on and the minute I buckle her harness, she takes off for the door. I always stop by Michael’s door and tell him we’re leaving because that’s his signal to get out of bed. This morning, as I walked to the front door, I could see the car parked on the curb in front of our house was covered in snow. I groaned and said to no one, but maybe Josephine “there’s snow on the ground!” but I still opened the door and stepped out into it.

Because Josephine was already in her walking harness. These walks and pooping in four very different places is her favorite thing. I couldn’t turn back now.

As we walked up the street, I could feel wet snow hitting my face. I thought about taking a shorter walk. We made it to the park and we were about halfway around the trail when we saw one of the women we usually see walking there in the mornings. We both smiled and said ‘good morning’ to each other as we passed. Josephine and I kept on walking. I looked up at one point and the snow in the trail lights looked like glitter falling from the sky. I realized I was smiling and then I was all “Wait…am I happy?!?” Everything from my knees down was cold. My toes were starting go numb. We had to stop twice to remove clumps of snow from the bottom of Josephine’s feet so she could walk (she’s going to need her own set of snow booties if we keep this up). Yet here I was almost giggling as we walked in the falling snow. I thought it had more to do with me accomplishing this walk despite my least favorite weather conditions, but every time I have looked out the window today, I have almost started laughing. It looks like a shook up snow globe out there. There is accumulating snow on the ground.

And I am not mad about it.

I mean, I’m not thrilled. Snow before Halloween is lulu crazy pants, particularly when you grew up in a place where you rarely had to wear a jacket or coat to go trick-or-treating. Except I hear that Oklahoma is getting ice and sleet today, which is unusual for this time of year. I don’t know why I am finding the snow to be so joyful today. Maybe I’m having a manic episode. Who knows? Last year, when we visited Heather in Denver for Thanksgiving, we walked almost everywhere we went. We walked the dogs to the park. We walked to the liquor store and the dispensary. We walked to restaurants and pilates class. There were multiple feets of snow on the ground. On our last evening, we were walking back from a lovely dinner. The snow started to come down really hard. We all just tucked our chins and kept on walking. At one point we stopped for a light to change so we could cross the street. I looked up at Michael and his beard was coated in snow. It was like he’d had a misfortunate interaction with some beignets. His beard was completely white. Of course I took a picture and then we laughed and laughed at it. I have been thinking about that moment off and on today. Michael has much less of a beard now because of his mask. He trimmed it short. That day last year though, I got a glimpse of what he might look like as Santa. I have retirement goals and one of those is the two of us working as Mr. and Mrs. Claus during the holidays. I am obsessed. Every time I see a plain clothes man with a Santa beard, I point at him say “Santa!”. Like I’m a four year old. It has nothing to do with Christmas and decorations, but everything to do with the joy of spotting Santa off duty.

It feels really weird and good to not be a frowning grumbling mess about what is happening outside my window right now.

CLOSED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Babar

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Last night, after work, I went to one of the neighborhood grocery stores to finally drop off my box of canned goods. They'd been riding around in the back of my car for over a week. I parked my car in an upper level parking lot because this particular grocery store has a crazy parking lot that is a mess all the time but particularly hazardously messy at rush hour. It just seemed easier to carry my heavy box of canned goods down a flight of metal stairs in a cold drizzle than to find a spot in the main lower level lot. I walked in the front door and was greeted by a young man arranging the shopping carts. He kindly took my donation box and carried it over to the Harvester bins for me. From the grocery store, I headed down the block and up the street to the The Dime Store. Yes. We have a Dime Store. I am not speaking from the past. 

I was looking for one last thing to go in Michael's stocking and I thought maybe the Dime Store would have it. It wasn't really too cold outside. It felt more like Fall than winter, but it did start to sprinkle as I got to the corner of 63rd and Main. I dashed across 63rd and when the light chained, I sprinted across Main reaching the row of store front awnings just as the rain picked up to a bit more than a sprinkle. I opened the door to The Dime Store and there stood Santa. I said "hello Santa!" and he replied "Merry Christmas!" I wished him well and continued on with my hunt for that last stocking gift. I won't say if they did or didn't have what I was looking for, but as I left the shop I smiled at Santa and smiled back with wink. That's when I knew. I had just encountered the real Santa, right down to the white beard and twinkly eye.

I smiled to myself as I made my way back across Main and over to 63rd and all the way back to my car. The magic of Christmas gets tarnished as we grow older. There's not too many surprises under the tree and the myth of Santa has been busted. That's OK because most of that magic is replaced with love and the understanding that being able to be with those we love is more important than pretty wrapped packages or a man in a red suit with a white beard. Michael, the Cabbage and I will spend the evening with his moms tonight. Then, the three of us will celebrate Christmas Eve together on Wednesday. And then Michael and I will travel to Oklahoma on Christmas Day for time with family and friends. So with that my friends, I think I'm going take some time off from this place this week. I've got some healing to do and as therapeutic as it may be at times to write it all out here, it's also a crutch. So I'm going to go wrap a wool blanket around my heart and come back to you guys next week with tales of laughter and love. 

Have a safe and wonderful holiday! Merry Christmas and Happy Hanuka and all the rest!