THE GIRLS' TRIP

After poking around in our brains for a couple of minutes, Amy, Deborah and I determined that we all met either the Spring or Fall of 1995. We’ve been framily for roughly twenty seven years, but the last time we were all in the same room was probably nine years ago at Amy’s wedding. We have stayed in contact through random texts and social media, which is fine, but not the same as being together in a shared space. And with everyone’s crazy pants schedules, carving out a window of time to be together in a shared space is difficult. So last Fall I floated the idea of the three of us meeting at an Airbnb for a weekend. Surprisingly, that idea did not float away. In fact, it settled and landed and we made the idea a priority.

It’s real stupid that it took so long for us to do so.

We talked. We laughed. We cried. We laughed some more. We ate spicy pretzels and too much cheese. We drank more than what we were used to drinking. We slept as if we were still living in our old dormitory, me in one room and the two of them in the twin beds in the room across the hall. We slept with our doors open and brushed our teeth together, sharing the bathroom sink. We played Uno while wearing those creepy face masks and we talked and talked and laughed and laughed. After getting caught up with each other’s life events from the past nine years, we reminisced about our time at USAO which brought more laughter and a few tears. We all agreed that we left USAO with some holes in our education. I mean, I started a graduate program in microbiology and molecular genetics without ever having taken a molecular biology class. At the same time we all agreed that we left USAO with the very best education from a curriculum that taught us to think creatively and most importantly the very best friends.

Amy is now the director of the Duncan Public Library and is working on her Masters in Library Sciences all while caring for and teaching her own child. Deborah is going through a really messy awful life event that every time I think about it makes me want to cause physical harm to the idiot making the mess. She’s dealing with this mess and the impact this mess is making on her and her children and it’s hard, but she’s doing it. She’s dealing. Our lives are all so different from each other, yet we are still the same people to each other. Once, a group of HS friends pushed me into what was meant to be a girls’ night/reunion. I told Chris that there would not be spouses present, but when I arrived to the restaurant, I was the only one without a spouse. The evening was weird and awkward and I felt out of place. These women had started families, had babies. Meanwhile, I was still in school, working towards a career, no inkling of an idea of having a baby or babies. Our paths had just diverged so greatly, that after that evening, I never saw those women again unless it was on social media. I also refrained from ever using the phrase ‘girls’ trip’ or ‘girls’ night’ ever again.

Amy, Deborah and I may have travelled off into different direction, but we did so with all of us attached to a bungee cord. When someone’s cord gets too tight, too strained to hold, we all bounce back together into one spot. This weekend was all about a break from the strain of tugging on cords for far too long and we all agreed that we needed this way more often than every nine or ten years. I am leaning into the phrase ‘girls’ trip’ with open arms and plans to make this a yearly event. Correction. I have plans of making this yearly event a priority. I didn’t take enough pictures of our weekend together and I am greedy. I want more. More laughter. More comfort. More love. More time.

We are deserving of more.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Camping season has begun. The weekend before last, I had Michael help me open up the camper in our driveway. While he mowed the yard, I proceeded to clean out the camper and pack in clean blankets. I got rid of some things we never really used and cleaned all surfaces. When I was finished inside, Michael came around and lubricated the bed rails and the stabilizers. We pushed the beds back in with no issues and closed the camper back up. I looked at Michael and said “let’s go right now!” He agreed that he was also ready to get the camper out.

We have an epic trip planned for June, but we will officially kick off our camping season with a trip to meet Chad and Jess this weekend. We have all been watching the weather like crazy and all reports predict rain, but we don’t care. We’ve been planning this trip for at least a month now. Jess called me the other day to talk about food and meal plans. Both of us were so excited. I said “I can’t wait to squeeze you!” Jess replied “Oh my god, I can’t wait to hug someone other than Chad.” and we both laughed and laughed. I knew right then that rain or shine, this weekend is going to be filled with hugs and laughter. AND I CANNOT WAIT! Life has been real hard for these two in the last few years. There have been at least two phone calls in the last year where I sat in a conference room crying with Chad on the other end of the line. To top it all off, last week they had to say goodbye to their dog, Moses. I am in desperate need of looking into both of their faces and making sure that they are still okay and being a shoulder to cry on if need be.

I would be in desperate need of looking into both of their faces under normal circumstances.

Today, I am thankful that camping season is here and that our first trip out will be with my framily.

SOMETIMES YOU'VE GOT TO GO

Little cabin in the woods

17 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Little cabin in the woods"

A few months back, my friend Heather sent me a text mentioning that she had her company cabin for Thanksgiving. Some of you might remember the last time I went to the cabin with Heather. I might have mentioned it here, but the cabin is in the tiny town of Inverness, CA. It sits high up on a hill surrounded by trees and the windows face Tomales Bay. I told Heather that if we weren’t tightening our belts and paying off debts, I’d invite us to tag along. Her reply was “it’s not until November.” She had a point. I cashed in some frequent flyer miles and we sold some stuff on Craig’s List. We bought plane tickets and rented a car and crashed her Thanksgiving.

And I’m so glad we did.

Michelle, who you might remember from that time I was a bearded lady and she was one half of the first ever interracially conjoined twins, flew up from San Diego. Heather’s friends, Maria and Mateo, flew in from Arizona. We’d never met, but I had heard some stories. Maria and Mateo ended up riding in the backseat of our rental car every where we went. I got so used to the two of them sitting behind us that I felt like we’d forgotten something when we left the cabin early Saturday morning. Instead of a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving, we ate Dungeness crab. In fact, we ate Dungeness crab for almost all meals. Turns out that six pounds of already picked crab meat feeds a party of six for two days. Just an fyi if you ever find yourself needing to place an order for picked crab meat and you order a pound per person, the person taking your order is going to scoff at you. You will ignore the scoffing and order that amount any way. Be prepared for the leftovers.

Instead of spending the holiday with family, we spent it with people we didn’t really know. I felt a bit of guilt over this. I claimed Michelle as part of our tribe the moment I met her three years ago. After spending five minutes with Maria and Mateo, I felt the same way about them. I even feel a little sad that they live so far away and are unavailable for random rides in the backseat of my car. So that guilt quickly dissipated when I realized that I was spending time with family. I was spending time with the family I have made for myself. We ate. We drank. We hiked to a beach. We played games and told stories. Mostly we laughed. Good lord, we laughed so dang much. I am very very fortunate.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to go to a little cabin in the wood with no TV and very spotty cell signal. Make sure the cabin is filled with good people and a nice roaring fire. Be sure to spend some of that time on long walks and part of that time watching the rain. Laugh and memorize every silly ridiculous moment.

This is self care.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Christmas time at the station

See this Instagram photo by @elephant_soap * 5 likes

All of the Christmas presents, which happens to be all for the Cabbage, are wrapped and shoved into my closet and one drawer under the bed. We were afraid to put them all under the tree. The animals have been really good about the Christmas tree this year, but I am not convinced that they would be so good with paper wrapped boxes under that tree. So we have taken to stashing Christmas presents out of reach and sight. This is a challenge in seven hundred and fifty square feet of space. My Mom would hide Christmas presents so well every year that there would always be at least one or two that she'd miss. She'd be cleaning out some closet in the middle of July and come across a shopping bag containing a sweater or toy and say something like "Oh! That's where that went!". Then she'd hand it over to who ever it was meant for with a "Merry Christmas!" That's going to be me. As I placed two wrapped Barbie's into that drawer, I thought "Is this the year I lose a gift?" 

Stockings are hung with care and ready for filling with treats. Christmas cards are in the mail (I'm so sorry if I missed someone). Plans are in works for visiting family and friends. There's nothing much left to do but to sit back and watch the lights twinkle on the Christmas tree. Every year, I feel the hectic rush of Christmas as I am sure many of you do. I think of the tasks before me and wonder about how I will ever accomplish all of the things on my list. This year was a little worse because I feel like I selfishly took up a whole week of December traveling around California. I don't feel guilty about it or have any regrets, but I do recognize that it took some time away from getting things done on the Christmas list. Except it didn't. Like I said, the hectic rush of Christmas comes along every year and every year, it all comes together. Almost like magic. Christmas magic. I am thankful that the preparations for Christmas are done enough so that now all my time can be spent focused on what's important. I am thankful for the time I will spend soaking in all of the love and laughter with family and friends. 

May the days ahead be filled with joy for you and your family. May you take time to recognize the importance of the holiday and that Christmas comes with out boxes, ribbons and bows. May you take a moment to recognize that it is not the geographical location that matters but the people you are with in that space that matters. May you take a moment to grasp onto all of that and be grateful. Be grateful for the good things of this moment and grateful for the good moments to come. This is what I plan to do. Happy Holidays and safe travels to all. Here's to a jingly bell kind of weekend and a star bright kind of a Thankful Friday.