THE WAR ON WOMEN

Even though the state of MO voted and passed Amendment 3, which repealed the ban on abortion, the MO House of Representatives proposed a constitutional amendment that would repeal the reproductive rights of Amendment 3. I read a quote from one of the protesters of the new constitutional amendment in a news article last week that said “This is a dangerous time to be a woman.” My first thought was to ask “Has it ever been safe to be a woman?!” But yes, it is still very dangerous to be a woman and lately that list has been growing. 

It is dangerous to be a woman

It is dangerous to be a woman of color

It is dangerous to be a woman in science

It is dangerous to be a woman living in poverty, low income and even working class (that’s me)

It is dangerous to be an international woman studying or working in the US (in science and other fields) even if they have the correct documentation to be here. 

It is dangerous to be a woman in the LGTBQ+ community

It is dangerous to be LGTBQ+

It is dangerous to have tattoos

It is dangerous to not be a member of Evangelical Christianity

It is dangerous to be Palestinian

I could easily keep going, but in particular, I’d like to circle back to the whole Evangelical Christianity thing. The president and his administration spent last week celebrating “the living Son of God who conquered death, freed us from sin, and unlocked the gates of Heaven for all humanity.” These are the actual words released by the White House for Easter celebrations. Ramadan got “warmest greetings.” by contrast. That’s fine. I don’t really care what religion anyone decides to follow. We were founded on the idea of freedom of religion. So, if the president wants to pretend christian, let him. I mean, they did a lot to get him there. He’s got to at least up his drama skills and pray along.

The problem here is not the celebration, but the incorporation of a religion into government. This administration has also implemented a faith office led by two conservative christians with the sole purpose of challenging separation of church and state. I can think of a number of reasons why merging church and state is a big problem. First of all, whose religion? In what state? I’ve read The Handmaid’s Tale. I have also read the bible. Gillead is what happens when evangelical christians are in charge and that makes this country even more dangerous to be a woman. What is it about evangelicals that makes them want to force everyone to practice their beliefs?!? They are the most myopic religious fanatics. Do I even need to ask, what if this faith office was run by Muslims or Catholics or any other religion? Would the American people be okay with that?

For a political party who campaigned on the rhetoric of preserving our freedoms, they sure are doing a lot to take away most of our freedom. 

I’ve never been one for conspiracies. If someone gives me a bit of “news”, I immediately dig into the validity of that news. When my chiropractor was trying to get me to try Light Therapy, I asked if this was voodoo. She told me it was not voodoo, but I still went and scoured all of the medical journals for research on light therapy. I found enough peer-reviewed research papers that convinced me that light therapy was maybe not voodoo. I am a fact finder. It’s what I do. So even when the opposing team to this administration says something that sounds whack-a-doodle, I look that shit up. The problem is that the things I think must be whack-a-doodle like declaring martial law and deporting US citizens or demanding women have three forms of identification for voting is not so whack-a-doodle. These are things that are happening. So while we haven’t started burning women on stakes (though we are imprisoning them for miscarriages, so…) it is a pretty dangerous time in American history to be a woman. They want to start offering incentives to women to have babies. Of course, by incentive, they mean a one time payout of $5000. That might cover a month of childcare. They start with incentives, but it is only a matter of time before they implement demands on women to have babies. A convicted rapist is running the country and he is being guided by evangelical men who would like to reduce women to property status, revoking the rights that allow us to be independent. 

So, yeah…it is a dangerous time to be a woman in this country, but it is also terrifying. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Last week, the New York Times posted a study about the gender gap and exercise and how women have less time to work out then men and (surprise!) our health is paying the price.

Experts say this exercise gender gap has a lot to do with the disproportionate amount of time and labor women devote to caring for the home and for others. It’s also consistent with research suggesting that, on the whole, women tend to prioritize other people’s health above their own, experts said.

The whole article is irritating, from the study that found women have 13 percent less free time a day to the differences in reasons for exercise. Women are mostly exercising “to lose weight”, not because it can be a stress reliever or just good for mental and overall health. We exercise because we want to fit into the patriarchal normative of what a woman should look like. What’s also irritating is knowing that I fall into the trap of prioritizing others all too frequently.

It has been weeks since I had attended a Monday yoga class or spent personal time on my mat. Between illnesses, travel, work and meetings, I have struggled to carve out time for exercise. In a recent text exchange with Chad, I said that I was basically phoning it in physically until the New Year. I seriously had given up on regaining any part of my practice routine and vowed to do better next year. Then my Monday morning came in hot. I barely had a chance to put my bag down before I was troubleshooting various problems and right then I decided that I was going to try to make it to yoga. I would just eat my lunch during lab meeting and I even said this to my coworker, Amanda. Not five minutes later, someone came to tell me they would have slides ready for the slide scanner and could they bring them at 1:00. I said “We have lab meeting at one.” The person then said they would bring them at noon (yoga class time) and I was just about to open my mouth to mumble out an ‘okay’ when Amanda spoke up and said “Bring them at 2:00!”

Amanda was my advocate for yoga class on Monday.

I am equal parts grateful for Amanda and annoyed that I needed to have an advocate because I’ve forgotten how to advocate for myself. That’s not even true. I have not forgotten; I’m just not good at it. I do not practice enough self advocacy and the result is that I say yes to everything but myself. Monday was the shove that I needed. It gave me just enough momentum for me to step away from my desk and onto my mat every day this week, to say “not right now” to things being asked of me. But also, as women, we should be advocating for each other. I don’t mean the big stuff. That’s a given. I’m talking about the little things, stepping in where and whenever to be a road block to those demanding time and effort. I am not the only woman who struggles with prioritizing others. This seems to be a thing all women do and we should be helping each other out.

I often find myself in the position of advocate for the Cabbage, not with school or activities or anything like that. I advocate during times of parental injustice. I am the one holding up a pause butting and saying “wait a minute, think of this from the kid’s side.” I’m not always saying the Cabbage is right, but just maybe the reaction doesn’t need to be so big. I like to think that I am teaching the Cabbage to not just advocate for themselves (they’ve gotten really good at intelligent argument) but also the benefit of advocation for others. It fosters an environment of care for each other.

It’s teamwork.

I am grateful for those who advocate for me when I fell that I cannot. I am grateful for the time on my mat this week. I am grateful for the reminder to advocate for myself and I am grateful to be in a community of women who advocate for each other.