THANKFUL FRIDAY

I did a long list of chores on Sunday, but there are still projects that I need to do around the house. It is time for a deep cleaning, washing rugs and sweeping behind furniture. I would also like to paint our dining room hutch since Ikea is never going to have the replacement cabinet in stock. I am taking a week of vacation time to do all of those things, but before I dig into cleaning, I’m escaping for the weekend.

I signed myself up for an all women’s retreat in Hot Springs, AR and two of my friends from camp will be riding in the car with me. We leave in a very short few hours and I can’t really wait to hit the road. When I left work yesterday, I left behind some smoldering fires. The 488 laser is out on our spinning disk confocal and people are supposed to be here (supposed to be) today to start in on the repair. The plate loading robot for our high content confocal is currently stuck holding a plate because it lost connection with the microscope and as much as I tried to communicate with tech support for this, I was unable to get any answers or replies. I did the only thing I could do and that was to throw my hands in the air and walk out of the building.

I almost feel the same way about home. The lawnmower is in pieces and we’re still fending off raccoons. Michael trapped one yesterday. I think it was Ralph. Emerson is bigger and I have yet to determine if there is a Waldo. I was told that if you think there are two raccoons, then there are really four or five of them. The light for Micheal’s new ceiling fan is not working properly and might involve an electrician. Instead of sticking around here and dealing with this current state of chaos, I’m hopping into a car to spend a weekend digging crystals and doing yoga. There’s some sort of moon ceremony happening. Basically, I’m playing witch for a weekend. Or pretending to be a little bit Scarlet.

Today is about trust. I leave here having to put all of my trust in other people to handle the smoldering fires until I return. I have to trust that Michael will remember to close the dog doors at night and that the techs who are supposed to show up will actually show up and fix the laser. It’s okay if some of those fires are still smoldering when I return. I have to trust that other people will tend to the smoldering fire to keep it from becoming a full blaze before I return.

Now I’m off to dig up some crystals.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

We’ve just made it through the first week of the new year and I sure hope everyone has survived. I know that I struggled a bit to get back into my usual routine. The intention was set. My work out gear is sitting in my desk chair in anticipation of me opening up my computer and playing one of my online fitness classes. Instead of getting up to exercise, I lingered under the warm blankets of my bed with Josephine snuggled in next to my hip. I did get on my yoga mat and I did my daily building walks. I ate less cheese this week. I got some evening exercise time in playing Beat Saber. Mostly though, I sat on the couch reading every evening.

The thing that is different about this week versus other weeks is that instead of mentally berating myself for not getting out bed to exercise or spending too much time sitting, I have whispered “have patience with yourself” under my breath, with eyes gently closed. I started teaching a chair yoga class this week and was feeling anxious about it. It has been years since I have taught a chair yoga class and it seems like it has been years since I have taught to a live studio audience. I struggle with the perception that a chair yoga class is not challenging and sort of pointless. In fact when I mentioned that I was teaching this class, a few people said to me “what even is the point of chair yoga?” But my anxiety melted away the minute I started teaching. Not only was the class very well received, but it felt really good to teach and I allowed myself to soak up that feeling of doing something well. It was a reminder that sitting still in a chair is just as effective as sitting still on your mat (or couch).

I have told myself that there is nothing wrong with wanting to practice some hibernation. The attempts to force myself away from this practice has always led me down a self destructive road of exhaustion and disappointment. Because my natural instinct and tendencies lean towards winter hibernation. Yes, I have made personal goals for this year, goals that require me to buckle down and work both physically and mentally. But I will also tell you that part of those personal goals is to work more mindfully and to pace myself. I am easing myself into this year like easing into a swimming pool of cool water, dipping my toes in first, all while patting myself on the back for dipping my toes in at all.

This year, Michael gave me a set of mindfulness dice to use for my weekly photography project. When I rolled and placed the dice for the first picture of the project, it was the block that read “trust intuition” in bold red that stood out for me the most. There are times when I need permission for certain things and this block felt like this was my permission to not just trust my intuition but to honour my natural instincts. This week, I am grateful for trusting myself.