THANKFUL FRIDAY

We’ve just made it through the first week of the new year and I sure hope everyone has survived. I know that I struggled a bit to get back into my usual routine. The intention was set. My work out gear is sitting in my desk chair in anticipation of me opening up my computer and playing one of my online fitness classes. Instead of getting up to exercise, I lingered under the warm blankets of my bed with Josephine snuggled in next to my hip. I did get on my yoga mat and I did my daily building walks. I ate less cheese this week. I got some evening exercise time in playing Beat Saber. Mostly though, I sat on the couch reading every evening.

The thing that is different about this week versus other weeks is that instead of mentally berating myself for not getting out bed to exercise or spending too much time sitting, I have whispered “have patience with yourself” under my breath, with eyes gently closed. I started teaching a chair yoga class this week and was feeling anxious about it. It has been years since I have taught a chair yoga class and it seems like it has been years since I have taught to a live studio audience. I struggle with the perception that a chair yoga class is not challenging and sort of pointless. In fact when I mentioned that I was teaching this class, a few people said to me “what even is the point of chair yoga?” But my anxiety melted away the minute I started teaching. Not only was the class very well received, but it felt really good to teach and I allowed myself to soak up that feeling of doing something well. It was a reminder that sitting still in a chair is just as effective as sitting still on your mat (or couch).

I have told myself that there is nothing wrong with wanting to practice some hibernation. The attempts to force myself away from this practice has always led me down a self destructive road of exhaustion and disappointment. Because my natural instinct and tendencies lean towards winter hibernation. Yes, I have made personal goals for this year, goals that require me to buckle down and work both physically and mentally. But I will also tell you that part of those personal goals is to work more mindfully and to pace myself. I am easing myself into this year like easing into a swimming pool of cool water, dipping my toes in first, all while patting myself on the back for dipping my toes in at all.

This year, Michael gave me a set of mindfulness dice to use for my weekly photography project. When I rolled and placed the dice for the first picture of the project, it was the block that read “trust intuition” in bold red that stood out for me the most. There are times when I need permission for certain things and this block felt like this was my permission to not just trust my intuition but to honour my natural instincts. This week, I am grateful for trusting myself.