THANKFUL FRIDAY

I moved to a different cubicle this week. The new space is closest to the microscopy room, which makes me the first person someone sees when they open the door, looking for help. That’s one of the reasons for moving me here. I am the fixer and the helper and the make things better person. The new space is bigger than my old space and includes a large window. At first, when I moved all of my personal things over, I kept my self compacted as if I was still in the old space. It took me a day or two to spread out. It’s taken me all week to remember to stop walking over to the old space to set my things down. At first, when I was told I was being given this new space, I was really excited about the window, but then I got here and it has been cloudy and gloomy. The new cubicle also feels a bit isolating, like I am further away from my coworkers. It’s almost lonely over here.

Things and feelings changed on Thursday morning. The clouds had lifted and morning sunlight streamed into my cubicle. I stood at my desk, checking my calendar schedule and catching up on emails, and bathed in that morning sunlight. Then feelings flooded into my body and I had to really think about what those feelings were and when the last time it was that felt them. I felt joy and energy and was like “Oh my Gods! This day is spectacular!” The sunlight situation only lasted a few hours and then a new layer of cloud cover rolled in, but in those few hours I was reminded that we are very much like plants. Water and sunlight are essential to life. It is not as if I was previously working in dungeon. Our office space, in general, is open with tall windows on one side. My old cubicle put me in indirect lighting. I did not realize that I was a direct sunlight plant until I moved to the new cubicle.

No wonder winters are so difficult for me.

I am thankful for a lot of things this week. The whole office has spent the week snacking on cheese, thanks to the most epic birthday (cheese) cake Michael made me last weekend. The joy of his accomplishment in building this beautiful tower of cheese was almost better than eating the cheese, and the joy of sharing some that cheese with friends has been priceless. I started teaching a six week beginning yoga session on Monday and it feels real good to teach people how to make yoga accessible for their own bodies. I declined on an event with my self-care people because it is later this evening and there is nothing more I want to do on a Friday evening than be a potato because by the end of Fridays, my brain feels like mashed ones. That’s self-care in action. I allowed myself to be talked into a mustache waxing last Saturday and my upper lip is just now starting to look normal again. So I’m thank for that.

Most of all though, I am grateful for getting some direct sunlight.