A HOUSE ON A LAKE

Last week, I sat down and made of list of things I wanted/needed to do. It is time to make some updates to the blog, maybe put in a page for Yoga in a Tiny Space and freshen up some images. I finally decided to renew my Yoga Alliance membership and I am looking into teacher insurance with the idea that I might be doing more teaching. Don’t hold your breath on that one. I love teaching, but I’ve gotten very comfortable in my home practice. Teaching changes how I practice and I’m not ready for that kind of change. I am ready to get my name on some sub lists and have plans to bring back my online class sometime near the end of August. I made the list and have even crossed things off of the list because I did the thing. Then we spent the weekend at a lake house with friends and if I’d made the list on actual paper, I would be setting it on fire right now because nothing on the list matters anymore.

All I want to do now is live on a lake and eat tomatoes with mozzarella.

I have written many versions of various entries over the past few weeks. One was devoted to the amount of sleeping I did during the month of June. I miss June. I fell asleep during a massage while sitting in one of those weird face down massage chairs. I fell asleep in the middle of a side stretch during a yoga class. I took at least three long naps during our camping trip in the West. I did so much sleeping that I thought it was post worthy. Then I let that post sit in the unpublished list and after a week or so of not ever hitting 'save & publish’, I hit ‘delete’ instead. According to the Astrology report in my latest Yoga Journal, we entered July with plantes across from one another and the energy bodies of those planets are at odds.

This opposition will fuel a drive to pursue your heart’s desires, while also calling for discipline and restraint. Strive to stay present during this challenging period.

It might be the discipline and restraint part that I am having trouble focusing on and this is a fairly normal feature(?) of my mental state during the summer. I used to blame my malaise on the heat, but it hasn’t even really been all that hot this year. It’s Wednesday and so far this week has been the most focused, task accomplishing week I have had in over a month. I have peeled my body out of bed every morning at 5:15 AM for X-tend Barre or rowing and walking the dog. I have made it onto my yoga mat and I am drinking water. Now if I could just stretch this discipline into some other areas of my life, I might write some stuff that I feel worth publishing. I mean…I’m probably going to publish this one, but only because I went to the trouble of quoting an article.

If astrology is your thing, it’s looking like August is going to be more suited for wrangling scattered thoughts. For now I’m going to just strive for staying present with these scattered thoughts.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Hold still

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It is never all that easy getting back into your usual day to day after you have been out of town on vacation. I made it particularly hard on myself by scheduling my routine physical with a new doctor for the day after we returned. Then there was blood work on Monday and a phone call from that doctor on Tuesday about the blood work (more on that later, I'm fine…just fat). I had a dentist appointment on Wednesday, which was actually good and made me feel like I was at least doing something right. Michael started back to work on Thursday. So now we are officially back to normal routines around here.

What happened to summer?

Did I make the most of my summer?

I road tripped. We scootered. I ate a lot of tomatoes. I slept in until 8 AM on weekends! The Cabbage and I rode some really great roller coasters. Snow cones and ice cream were a weekly menu item. Dear friends visited and we went to the zoo and had a water balloon fight in the backyard. We ate watermelon with seeds and spit the seeds across the yard. We also filled a jar with lightning bugs and then set them free at the end of the evening. My arms have a lovely tan and my feet have flip flip tan lines. Maybe I didn’t make the absolute mostest of my summer, but I think I came pretty darn close. Also, I still have some time. Summer is not completely over just because Michael is back in school. I have plans to soak up every last bit of heat before the weather turns to crap. Or what some people call ‘Fall’. People are already talking about pumpkin spice.

Slow your roll, peeps!

All of this feels familiar. Like I’ve written it before. I think that I write about soaking up every last drop of summer every year because it is my favorite season. I am thankful for every snow cone eaten, every fluid ounce of sunscreen applied to my body, every itchy bug bite because I suck at applying bug spray, and every tomato I have popped into my mouth.

Here’s to making the most of summer.

THE GREAT SPARKLER

Our neighborhood sounds like a war zone

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I am not sure that I will ever really get used to the firework situation that happens here every July. I did shoot off fireworks when I was a kid, but we lived outside of any city limits. It was not illegal, just highly frowned upon (mostly by Dad). You certainly did not set them off within city limits. I know of some cul-de-sacs who would pool their money every year to pay the fine for shooting off illegal fireworks, but I never witnessed the firework displays like I have seen here in my current neighborhood. For one thing, most of the fireworks from last night are not even sold in the state of Oklahoma. Every year since I have been here, a public service announcement goes out reminding people that fireworks are illegal. Every year the PSA is ignored and my neighborhood ends up sounding like a war zone and a smokey haze fills the sky. I don't mind. It is probably the only time of year where I am winning our game of Gun Shots or Fireworks (I pick fireworks every time).

Michael bought the Cabbage a whole bunch of fireworks yesterday. We walked around inside a big tent full of all kinds of fireworks picking out satellites and tanks and ground blooms. Of course our bag filled up with sparklers and snaps too, as well as some fountains and missiles.  Michael noticed a large display of the bigger fireworks, the kind you drop into a provided canon. They were on sale. So we ended up with three of those. At one point I had to leave because I could hear my Dad talking so loudly in my head about the money we were literally burning. He would also go on and on about the mess they make and how we had to be sure and pick up every scrap. Yet he never prevented us from buying them. We did have to roll the pennies we saved over the year, but he always threw in a few extra dollars. 

While I stood just outside the tent, I started thinking about the time Stephanie and I worked in a firework stand on the east end of Collinsville. That was the summer my nephew, Kolin, was born. He was early and sick and would only end up being with us for a few short weeks. I would get up in the mornings and drive to the hospital in Tulsa where I would put on scrubs and disinfect my hands up to my elbows just to go into a room to look at him. Then I would take J somewhere. We'd go to the mall or a movie. Someplace other than the hospital. Then I'd drop him off and head back to town for my shift at the firework stand. Stephanie and I spent most of our time at the stand trying to stay cool. We would sit in our lawn chairs, with our feet up on the counter and I would tell her about that morning's hospital visit. Then she would tell me about the crazy dessert stuff our boss had left for us to eat. 

One night, just before closing, a group of drunk guys pulled up in their pick-up truck and stumbled out. The swayed up to the counter and then started pointing at different fireworks with their lit cigarettes. "Whud about that one? Whuts that one do?" Steph and I took turns explaining the fireworks while reminding them to put their cigarettes out. They bought a small bag's worth of firecrackers and moved on. We both sighed with relief. Mostly though, it was a boring job, but a good distraction for that summer. We would be really busy for ten minutes with a flurry of people and then we wouldn't see a soul for hours. On the last night we were open, we had to do inventory. The owner could send back all of the unopened packages of fireworks and get his money back for them. We had to go through everything and tally up what was left, packaged or not packaged. Anything not packaged was ours for the keeping. Steph and I had an amazing 5th of July fireworks display. 

Our backyard fireworks display was pretty impressive. We even had an intermission because of rain. Still, I don't think it tops that 5th of July Stephanie and I had. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Fancy lemonade

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I'm starting to feel like the official end of summer is upon us. Michael started back to work with students this week. The Cabbage starts her first day of kindergarten next Wednesday. There was a school bus picking up kids in my neighborhood this morning and because the parking lot of the school I pass on the way to work was full, I slowed down for the school zone. Advertising has moved well on past bikini season to the hottest new looks for Fall. The temperatures are still in the high nineties but there's an expectation that any day now those temperatures are going to drop and the leaves are going to change colors over night. In fact a cold front is expected to move through this evening, dropping our temperatures down into the low eighties. August is a strange month of transition. 

For many of us, there's no difference between spring and summer and fall other than temperatures. For me, summer vacation ceased to be a real thing when I reached graduate school. Actually, now that I think about it, it probably stopped being a real thing for me in college because I continued to take classes throughout my summer. I am sure those times were a little more lax back then. I maybe showed up to the lab at eight AM instead of seven AM, but I was still at work every day. At the time, I was just driven and focused and really wanted to finish school. Once I graduated and was off into the real live world of grownups, I had forgotten about summer vacation completely. But then came summer campfire nights with friends and tiny little road trips that reminded me of those times when I was young and school was out for the summer. Every year, as all the kids get out of school for their summer vacation, I tell myself that I will also have some sort of a summer vacation. I will have more lazy days and lemonade. I will take advantage of weekends for fun and not chores. I will let myself fall out of my usual routine. 

Every summer, I say those things and then pretty much only accomplish a lemonade or two. Falling out of my usual routine is the equivalent to me standing in the open door of an airplane. I may have a perfectly good, working parachute strapped to my back and I know the whole free fall thing is probably amazing. I just can't seem to step out of the plane because of that whole idea that I may be killing myself by jumping. Who cares if the parachute is perfectly good and working? This summer was a little different. I didn't fall completely out my usual routine, but I did fall a little bit out of my usual routine. There were a few more lazy days and even some spontaneity. I let some chores fall to the wayside (the garden is a complete crazy mess right now). I drank several limoncellos with tonic water which is basically like lemonade. And even though kids have gone back to school, I am still holding onto the idea of summer vacation. I am thankful for those moments of spontaneity and for limoncello with tonic water. Mostly, I am thankful for reclaiming the idea of summer vacation.

Michael and I have plans to drive out of the city to watch meteors and stars. I realize that the peak time for watching the Perseid Meteor Shower was Thursday night, but we don't really care. The idea of laying on a an air mattress in the back of Michael's truck while doing nothing but gazing up at all the stars in the sky is enough for us. We should all do one summer vacation like thing this weekend. Get out there and throw some water balloons or roast some marshmallows! Here's to a holding onto the summer vacation weekend and super Thankful Friday! 

MIMOSA MEMORY

Walk and roll

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There's a mimosa tree a few houses up the street. We pass it on our evening walks with Josephine. Most times I don't even notice it, but right now the tree is covered in pink pompom like blooms that look like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. Those blooms fill the air with a sweet green smell. That smell along with the cicada soundtrack of summer that was playing in the background, triggered summer time memories from a time so long ago that I'm not even sure those memories are real. They have that shimmery heat wave look to them, like those cartoon images of a mirage. I'm Droopy with a handkerchief on my head.

A mimosa tree grew on the southeast corner of my parent's property. I remember when the tree was small, but only vaguely. Mostly, I remember that tree as being big and tall enough to be my climbing tree and how I would spend hours sitting on one limb or another. If I wasn't in the tree, I was laying under the tree. If wasn't sitting on one limb or another, I was jumping off one limb or another. I remember one summer evening, sitting in that tree while watching a lunar eclipse. The land facing east was still undeveloped and the pasture there stretched on and on. The moon was at it's largest that night taking up more than half the eastern horizon. We were in the middle of preparing for Janell's first wedding and Mom was mad because we were all outside watching the moon instead of beating the carpets with a tennis racket. 

There was a brief amount of time after I fell from that tree and broke my arm, where I struggled with climbing it. The fall came from a moment of indecision. I could climb down the way I'd climbed up or I could jump down from the branch I was on. I turned slightly to go ahead and climb down, when my shorts snagged on part of a branch. The momentum of my forward movement halted suddenly by the snag yanked me backwards and I flipped over, landing hard on the ground below with my arm broken in two. After my arm was healed and the cast was gone, I would step up onto my first foot hold, a foot hold that was practically worn into place because I'd used it over and over, and I would pause. I would hesitate to go up any further. My confidence was shaken even though I know the reason I fell from the tree had nothing to do with my climb up into it. Yet, fear would still grip my heart even as I continued to climb on up into the tree and settle into my usual spot. 

But I still climbed up into that tree. 

That pasture that seemed to stretch for miles is now dotted with houses. The mimosa tree on the corner is now gone. Dad wanted to cut the thing down when I broke my arm, but I begged and pleaded for him not to do it. He got his way when I moved out of the house. I came home one weekend and my tree was just a stump. Dad mumbled something about diseased, but I knew better. Those things are changed or gone now, but the lesson never left me. If I'm standing on that ledge looking down into a crystal clear pool, no matter how tightly fear has wrapped itself around my heart, I'm going to jump.

Because I'm more stubborn than brave. 

WHAT TIME IS IT?

I fed the bird

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This was a weird morning and it had nothing to do with the live bird Albus brought into the house (the second morning in row that he has done this). This is what has become normal in my daily life; collecting the living and half dead animals that Albus drags into this house. The thing that unsettled me on this particular morning was that the sun was mostly up when my alarm went off at 5:50 AM and so was Michael. I don't know which part of that threw me off the most. Michael usually has an alarm that goes of for twenty or thirty minutes and me telling him that it is time to get up before he ever gets up. Ten minutes to six usually just seems darker. Michael was up and he made himself breakfast while I was in the shower. And when Albus brought the bird in this morning, I made him deal with it because he had on pants and I still did not have on a bra. I win. 

I was slightly confused the whole rest of the morning. Even though I was on time (meaning ten minutes early), I still thought I was late by at least an hour. Morning traffic usually runs in waves with busy times varying between seven and eight. My road connects to Hwy 71 and cars coming off that highway stream down the road, paced just far enough apart to make it a little difficult to leave my driveway. There's also a kid that walks to the school bus who is almost always standing in the middle of my driveway when I go to back my car out of the drive. I will admit that there was one very frightening morning when I almost hit him with my car. I am uber vigilant now. This morning there was no traffic and there was no kid. In fact the ride to work was pretty easy except for when that cop pulled out into traffic and every one slowed down to twenty five miles an hour in a thirty five mile an hour zone. You are not going to get a ticket for going the speed limit people! I didn't even get one for practically running that super yellow light and I was right behind the cop. 

Then I realized it's Summer. No school. There's still some light in skies when I go to bed and there's light when I get up in mornings. It has finally decided to stop being monsoon season around here and I have to water the plants. The weather app says it's going to be ninety degrees on Thursday. Ninety! I'm toying with the idea of surprising Michael and the Cabbage with a cheap inflatable pool. Last night, I watched Josephine chase a firefly around the backyard and I thought that maybe it was time I smelled like bug spray and sunscreen. Then we could just hang out in the backyard chasing fireflies together. My legs are covered in mosquito bites already. I wore shorty shorts yesterday and blinded every one in the grocery store with my winter white legs. 

It is all glorious.