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Instagram post by Cindy Maddera * Jan 12, 2020 at 3:29pm UTC

12 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram

I did not leave the house on Saturday. Michael, in anticipation for a predicted ice/snow storm, went grocery shopping after work on Friday so that I wouldn’t have to dig out my car to go the next morning. It was a very knight in shining armor thing to do considering that grocery stores on the eve of snow storms are the worst places ever. Grocery stores on the eve of snow storms followed with a NFL Divisional game for the home team are worse than the worst places ever. Yet Michael donned his shield and sword and charged into Trader Joe’s and even refrained from opening the bottle of Bourbon he was purchasing until after he got home. He told me all about his adventures when I made it home that evening. I laughed and told him that it probably wouldn’t snow. Pellets of ice could be heard hitting the house sometime around 7:00 that evening. So we got a nice layer of ice before the five inches of snow that came down Saturday morning.

Sometimes having your very own knight isn’t so bad.

We had a snow day. I did yoga and meditation. I cleaned the bathroom and did the laundry. I even took a shower, but I did not put on a bra. I had a nice warm cup of chai with half of a special marshmallow floating in it and I finished a book and started another one. At some point during the day, Michael asked me “when’s the last time you didn’t leave the house on a Saturday?” I thought about this for a long time and could not come up with an answer. Maybe that one time in 1993 when I didn’t have a band contest, choir contest or a 4-H thing. The moon was in the seventh house and Mercury was aligned with Mars, because there had to be only one Saturday out of the year when I did not have one of the above things to do. Or all of the things. Saturdays are for leaving the house. Sundays are for CBS Sunday Morning and no bras. Definitely not on a Saturday. This whole not having to leave the house for anything on a Saturday thing was very weird and slightly disorienting. You would think that I would have used my time a little more productively. Like working on a writing project or painting the kitchen. Maybe I should have spent the day scrubbing the baseboards with a toothbrush or rearranging the living room. I am one hundred percent positive that there are chores that I have been putting off that I could have done, but I didn’t. I did the bare minimum of chores and the most creative I got was deciding what yoga poses I was going to do in my practice that morning. I have zero regrets about this and those of you who really know me know that for me to have zero regrets on basically being lazy is a pretty big milestone.

My yoga teacher who I did my teacher training with was/is a big fan of doing less. We’d have many a discussion on the subject. Doing less did not mean that you didn’t challenge yourself in a practice; you just moved a little bit slower, did a few less poses, spent twenty minutes in final relaxation. She warned us about those students who had personal lives of go, go, go. Those people tended to gravitate to a vigorous vinyasa flow kind of practice and usually skipped final relaxation. They did this because it felt normal to them. It was what they were used to even if it wasn’t necessarily what they needed. Making some one like that slow down was actually the best medicine a yoga teacher could offer them. In the years since I have been teaching, I have had those people in my classes. It takes them a bit to give into the pace of the practice, but once they do, those people become final relaxation junkies. I have never considered myself to be one of the go, go, go kind. In fact, I always lump myself into a sloth like category. If we were talking doshas, I’d put myself firmly on team Kapha. I’m solidly built and lean towards lethargy. I have been telling myself lies, giving myself a label so I’d have an excuse for being the chunky kid. I may be solidly built, but those of you have stayed with me in my house have witnessed my constant movement away from lethargy. Ask Michael about my so called naps where I close my eyes for ten minutes.

What ‘leans towards lethargy’ really means is ‘leans towards not wanting to exercise’. I don’t want to spend time on the treadmill or jumping up and down while lifting weights over my head. I do it so I am no longer the chunky kid (debatably still chunky) but stay solidly built. Spending a day lounging on the couch with a good book and doing less stuff is a need from time to time. At the very least it gives me fodder for a lengthy blog entry about nothing.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Snow day ❄️

See this Instagram photo by @elephant_soap * 6 likes

Thursday morning, I got out of bed and proceeded as usual even though I knew that there was a fresh white layer of snow outside. I knew the snow was coming, but assumed that it wouldn't be a problem other than adding time to my commute. Once I was dressed, I bundled up and headed out to the garage to dig out the leaf blower/snow blower and an extension cord. I was fighting with the extension cord when Michael banged on the kitchen door window. "What are you doing?" His question came out around his mouthguard with a slight lisp. I told him that I was digging out the leaf blower to unbury the cars and then he said that his school had sent a text saying that they were going to be closed. 

I stood there with the extension cord (that may or may not have a good plug because the dog chewed the ends off one of our cords) in the dark cold garage. The light went out in the garage weeks ago and neither of us have felt like climbing a ladder to replace it. I let Michael convince me to set the extension cord down and come inside to at least eat my oatmeal and watch the news. He continued to plead his case for staying put. His truck was blocking my car in the driveway. There was uncertainty about whether or not he would even be able to get his truck back up into the driveway if he moved it. The news was showing cars going nowhere on the highway. So, I reluctantly agreed to stay home. And I struggled with that decision for most of the day. All of the day. I struggled all of the day with guilt over not being at work. 

I recently read an article about the art of doing nothing. It talked about how the act of just sitting back and doing nothing increases creativity and that taking time to reflect on inner experiences translates to greater compassion. I tend to think that I am pretty good at doing nothing. I could give you a list right now of unfinished projects and things I need to be working on outside of work. I also recognize that I have a job that takes up eight hours of my day and even more hours of my brain space. So I try to cut myself a little slack when it comes to getting those other projects done, but suddenly I was put into a position to do nothing and I balked. I roamed around the house aimlessly. I washed breakfast dishes and put a pot of water with oranges and cinnamon sticks on the stove to help humidify the house. I checked work emails dozens of times. I watched a car moving slowly down our street. I walked around the house aimlessly some more. I stewed in my guilt while Michael and the animals snoozed on the couch. 

It became painfully obvious that I needed some practice in the art of doing nothing and the greater compassion I should be having, should be for myself. Eventually, as the house began to smell of cinnamon, I let myself be still. I picked up a book from a stack of books that have been waiting for me to read them and I read. We did clean off the cars and feed the chickens, but for the most part, I sat and did nothing. Today I am thankful for the realization that I need to have greater compassion for myself. I am thankful for my moment of nothing. 

At some point yesterday, Micheal looked over at me and both the cat and the dog were laying on my body. He asked me if I needed to be covered with any more animals or if I had enough. I replied that I probably had room for one chicken. I'm all the time cold in the winter and the pets just seem to know that their job is to keep me warm, weighted down and unable to move. I am thankful for the gruesome twosome (Josephine and Albus). I am thankful for the smell of cinnamon and oranges. I am thankful for dried cranberries in my oatmeal. I am thankful for surprises like the Princess Leia action figure I found on my desk this morning. I am thankful for bread and I am so so thankful for you.

Here's a warmer weekend and super Thankful Friday.