SAME

Last week, a judge in New York gave Christopher Belter eight years of probation for the rape of three underage teenage girls instead of prison time. A few days later, Kyle Rittenhouse would be allowed to walk free after murdering Joseph Rosenbaum and Anthony Huber. I know I should be screaming about this, but all I can muster is a shrug because this is what happens in this country. White men, particularly if they have money, get away with rape and murder. Meanwhile Kevin Strickland and Lamar Johnson, two black men who have been proven innocent are still sitting in prison. I don’t even know the number of black men sitting in prison for possession of marijuana right now. One is too many particularly with so many states legalizing the use of it.

My dad used to worry about my safety because I live in what used to be a predominately African American community. It still is, but my street has more white faces now than when I moved in, mostly because of the current housing crisis and gentrification. I would always argue with Dad over his concern. I have not once ever felt unsafe in my neighborhood. Josephine and I walk this neighborhood daily. I talk with my neighbors. I laugh with my neighbors. We are a neighborhood that looks out for one another. I am also not prone to being fearful. I will walk down that dark alley without even thinking about it. With one exception: white men.

If I am walking down a sidewalk and see a group of white men walking in my direction, I will cross the street to avoid them. One white man might be okay, but I’m still going to be on guard. A group of white men? No way. I am not taking the risk. My whole life, any time I’ve been bullied, sexual assaulted, or threatened it has always been a white male doing the bullying, the assaulting and the threatening. They do it not because they were raised by incompetent parents, but because they know they can get away with it. Time after time, history has shown and proven that white men do not have to pay any consequences for their behavior. This is why they remain the most dangerous racial group in America. Now, if you are a white man that I know personally and are currently reading this and your panties are starting to twist up in a wad over what I’m saying, you’re either mad because you know it’s true or you feel guilty for some past behavior. If you are a white man reading this and nodding your head in agreement, it’s because you’ve also been bullied, assaulted or threatened by another white man.

This is why the movie American Psycho is so terrifying. It has nothing to do with all the murder and everything to do with him getting away with all of it. It’s terrifying because it is the truth.

There is a video of Rittenhouse walking down the middle of a street with his assault rifle and not one police officer stops or questions him. George Floyd was murdered by police for the possibility of using a counterfeit twenty dollar bill. No weapons on him. No violent crime committed. Trayvon Martin was walking down the sidewalk when he was shot by a white man. The weapon in his pocket was a packet of Skittles. Tamir Rice was shot by police for carrying a toy gun. If you do not see the hypocrisy and crime in this, then there is no hope for you and you deserve to be labeled a racist.

I feel like I’ve written this all before. I’m afraid I will be writing it all again.

RACISM AND CHOICE

Daughter of the Revolution

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There it was, wedged between posts about making cookies and silly dad jokes. A friend left an angry vague post about Mike Gundy not getting to have a choice. I took the bait and did a quick news search. Mike Gundy, the head football coach of Oklahoma State was photographed at the lake wearing an OAN shirt. OAN stands for One America News. I had to look them up. It’s a news organization that specializes in conspiracy theories and it is Trump’s favorite ‘news’ affiliation to cite. They are a tabloid that incites bigotry and hate. The picture of Mike Gundy wearing a shirt for a company that supports racist rhetoric did not, understandably, sit well with his players. One of those players is Chuba Hubbard, a player that OSU can not afford to lose if they want to win games. ESPN has nice accounting of the events. The important take away is that Mike Gundy sat down with his players and they had an important conversation about racism.

The thing is, everything is a choice and every choice has a consequence. In this case, Mike Gundy chose to wear a t-shirt supporting a tabloid that promotes bigotry. The consequences of this choice made an impression on his African American players and that impression is their coach, the man they are supposed to respect and listen to, does not respect or listen to them. How can they continue to be part of a so called team when there is mistrust and a lack of respect for their leader? Mike Gundy had and has many choices. He had a choice to not wear a shirt that supports racism. He had a choice to not even own that shirt. He has a choice to get his news from accurate news sources or at the very least more than one news source. He also had a choice to not talk to his players or have the uncomfortable conversation that so many of us white people avoid.

The article from ESPN does not go into details of the discussion between Gundy and his players. The outcome from the talks sounded positive, like he and the players came to an understanding and want to work together to make good changes. I really hope it does. I really hope they were able to have an honest discussion on racism. I really hope that Mike Gundy made a choice to truly listen to his players. The kind of listening you do to hear, not just to respond. Every thing in life is about choice. We can make a choice to allow hatefulness to cloud our judgement. We can choose to ignore the marginalized. We can chose to support companies who do all of those things. Or…we can choose the opposite. We can make a choice to listen.

We can make the choice to have the uncomfortable conversations about racism in this country.