WRITE WRITING WRITTEN WROTE

Seedy

9 Likes, 0 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Seedy"

A couple of weeks back, after I did an illegal U-turn to take a picture of someone’s thirtieth birthday balloons, I had an uncontrollable urge to write about it. I had already written my Thankful Friday entry and so I just set the thought aside for another time. Except words and phrases started piling up in my brain. I started to get twitchy and thought about writing some things down on napkins. We were at the Cabbage’s soccer game, no where near my computer. I finally had to just write it all out in the Notes app on my phone until I could get to my computer. Some of you might be thinking “isn’t that what the Notes app is for?” Sure…on your phone, if that is how you wish to use it. I use that app for lists, not for typing out whole paragraphs with my thumbs.

Desperate times. Desperate measures.

The urge to write those words was intense. It was something I hadn’t felt in some time. For a while now, keeping this blog going has been work. I’ve written and deleted content because it bores me or sounds like whining or doesn’t really tell a story. There are many days where I think that maybe I just won’t post anything this week, but that thought turns into ‘well, if I don’t post anything this week, will I want to post anything next week?’ Before I know it I will have completely dropped the habit of writing anything. I have no delusions of blogger fame. I never look at the analytics section for this blog to see how many people have read what entry. This place will always be a space for me to vomit out the words and phrases that clog up my brain. Sometimes it looks and smells like rainbow cotton-candy vomit and sometimes it looks and smells like my dog’s vomit. Michael and I are doing intermittent fasting right now. I’m using vomit for my analogy to take my mind off of food.

Also, I’m feeling slightly loopy.

I’ve been in a writing slump for a bit, but things have shifted and now I find myself wanting to be here to spill my guts. I also find myself wanting to write things not for here. On one of my Saturday morning Fortune Cookie times, I realized that what I have managed to do is to almost fill up a journal with beginnings of stories. The last one I did I ended up thinking about for the rest of the day. It seemed like something I could really flesh out and turn into something; maybe not something great, but something entertainingly good. I also keep trying to figure out how to tell my story. I’ve started so many different versions and approaches and all of them end up going no where. Yet another approach to my story has started to form in my head and I think it’s a good one. At least this approach is something I want to give some time to and see where it leads.

There is always some sort of ebb and flow to all of my creative endeavors. It seems that my flow and creative desires spring out of the dirt with the tulips. I need sunshine, warmth and the right amount of water. I’m like a seed. Wait. I’m like multiple seeds. I’m like a whole freakin’ garden. Right now, I’m sprouting seeds for a Spring harvest of words.