THANKFUL FRIDAY

Michael and I declared an ‘only stockings’ present year for Christmas and he filled my stocking with ridiculous desk toys. I now own a “Badass” button that tells me how wonderful I am every time I press it and a tiny glowing crystal ball that continuously tells me to '“ask again later.” The Ghostbuster’s trap, I was told, was really more of gift for Chris. So I did the very most Chris thing I could do. I printed out a tiny label with the label maker and gave the trap a name that implies it is a trap for ideas. Good ideas or bad ideas. The trap is an equal opportunity idea catcher.

At the same time I was making the trap label, Amy sent me a picture of a set of books that she would probably have purchased for Chris. It was a series of books of William Shakespeare’s version of Star Wars. She included a shot of dialogue from Scene 1 that included the line “he beepeth on and on.” Michael has a habit of asking me if I know about subject A and then explaining subject A to me even though I said ‘yes, I know about that.’ Now, all I want to do is interrupt him with “Must you, Sir, beepeth on and on?” I am truly surprised that I do not have this set of books already sitting on my bookshelf because while there are many things I got rid of, books were kept. I mean, we should all have our very own copy of Catch 22 stacked next to our bibles (yes, I have a bible, know thine enemy and all that).

I’ve told Michael my theory of soul absorption and how I believe that I have absorbed most of Chris’s soul. It is the reason why he is not surprised when certain phrases fall out of my mouth. He has yet to notice that I sometimes cross my eyes and stare at passengers in the cars stopped next to us at stoplights, not unlike Chris’s goofy-faced alter ego. This was the face he used for Rosco, the hitchhiker Chad picked up during his cross country road trip, the trip that started our friendship with Chad. I have more pictures of this face than I do of Chris’s actual face and I’m not mad about it. We recently started watching Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones and in the very first episode, we listened to a woman who is 102 talk about the importance of laughter, but this is not the first time I have heard such advice. I have experienced it first hand. The amount of laughing Chris and I did is why I never really consider anything I did as ‘grownup’ until I was thirty four and moving us to Kansas City.

The years when I feel I have laughed the least are the years I have felt decrepit and ancient and those are the years I regret the most.

When I started writing this entry, I couldn’t remember the name Chad had given to his imaginary hitchhiker and when I asked him about it, he replied “What made you think of that?” It was so many years ago, so many life changes ago. I told Chad it was because I was writing about Chris’s dumb face, which is true, but it’s really because I’m holding onto joyful moments and reminding myself to be silly. I don’t even need to look at Chris’s goofy face to start grinning; all I have to do is think about it.

I am making it a practice to laugh daily, but I do beepeth on and on.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Mom sent home this elephant plush toy for Josephine. She said she found it in the pet section of TJ Maxx, but there is what sounds like a baby’s rattle in the head of the elephant. Josephine loves it. LOVES it. We’ve even managed to keep it inside the house. New toys usually always do a tour in the backyard. Sometimes they make it back in, but often they get left out there until they are nice and soggy and a bit muddy. The football sized hedgehog Michael bought her a couple of weeks ago is out there now. Usually, after a big snow melt, I grab a laundry basket and go collect all of the babies in the backyard. Josephine frantically hops around me, trying to snatch them from my hands as I lift them up from the ground. Then she does that head tilt thing as she watches me through them all into the washing machine.

She hasn’t learned that Michael will mow right on over all of them. He will not pause to rescue a single baby.

The elephant Mom sent, though, has been a real hit. She has carried that thing around with her all week, nudging me with it, shaking it, sleeping next to it in her bed. I have not seen her become so enamored with a toy since the IKEA rat. The IKEA rat is currently in the basement. I meant to wash it ages ago, but it has just been so nice to not be startled every time she comes in from outside with it, that I kind of just left it there. The cat brings in a live rat one time and that ruins all rat like toys for eternity. Sometimes, while I’m in the shower, Josephine will just start bringing her toys into the bathroom. When I pull back the shower curtain to get out, I will see that the bath rug in front me is littered with stuff like a ball, a bone, stuffed animal. The other day, I went to step out of the shower and the elephant was the only thing on the bath rug.

I have never had a dog before that was all that attached to toys. Hooper had a squirrel toy that he was mildly interested in, but mostly he always acted like an old man. Odie, who got booted to the outside, loved a good game of tug-of-war, but never really attached himself to anything. He did have a deflated tractor tire inner tube that he dragged around the yard. You could look out the window and see him tossing it into the air or sleeping in it. Josephine has a stash of toys and it is delightful to watch her play with them. Every time she picks up a toy and nudges me with it, I can’t help but pause in what I am doing and play with her. We could all use moments in our days where we are encouraged to pause what we are doing and just play.

Josephine and I are very grateful for my mom for providing this current play time break.