THANKFUL THURSDAY

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Sunday marked the 99 year anniversary of the Tulsa Race Massacre of 1921. You can find information on the Tulsa Race Massacre here and here and I am sure there are many other resources out there. It is often referred to as the Tulsa Race Riot, but really the events that took place in June of 1921 was a massacre. White men completely destroyed a prosperous and thriving black community. If you click on one of those links, you’ll see pictures in which thirty five blocks were left in charred ruins. A town was left in charred ruins with, what historians now believe, 300 people dead. This event is considered to be one of the worst incidents of racial violence in the U.S. and it was not even mentioned in any of my school lessons. Not even in Oklahoma history. I grew up in the Tulsa area and had no idea that this had happened until I was probably in my late twenties or early thirties. At the time I learned about the massacre, I had someone tell me that “the blacks instigated it.” Implying that it was all their fault. It was up to me to research this topic thoroughly to find the truth because not for a minute did I believe that the black community was responsible for the destruction of their own town. I can see why white people would like to sweep this bit of history under a rug because the why and the what happened in Greenwood that day shows the ugliest side of white people and the destruction of their racism. It is shameful. But that’s what white people do, re-write history to make it look so our actions are justified.

When I found out about the Tulsa Race Massacre, I started asking myself “What else don’t I know?” I learned about George Washington Carver in middle school. The history books told us he was a peanut farmer, not an agricultural scientist and the developer of crop rotation as well as numerous other inventions. George Washington Carver was a scientist. Yet another tidbit of information that the school system did not teach me. What about Henrietta Lacks? How long had I worked with HeLa cells before discovering that I was working with a cell line taken without permission? Too long. But I read about the injustice towards the Lacks family and I educated myself. That is my responsibility, to stay curios, to stay informed and to use my knowledge to stand up against racism and injustice.

I follow number of African American women in social media. I am not saying that as a brag. I would follow and support these women no matter their color because they post beautiful and inspiring content. This week many of those women have shared their stories and reading material. They have done this for their white followers who have been asking “what can we do? how can we educate ourselves?” As a scientist I know how exhausting it can be to have to explain science to non-science people, but I am sure it is no where near as exhausting as having to explain privilege to white people. Yet these women, while having to deal with all of this shit on a daily basis, have indulged us and provided us with resources. To all of those women, I want you to know that I know it is my responsibility to educate myself and to not lean on you. You need to be able to lean on me. To those women, I want you to know how grateful I am for the stories and reading material that you have shared and that you continue to share.

I see you. I hear you. I stand with you. I stand beside you as a pillar to be leaned on in times of need. I will willingly lift burdens from your shoulders. Not for just this week, but for always.

WHITE

Nose to nose

5 Likes, 0 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Nose to nose"

We received the results of my mother’s DNA test months ago. It came back saying that my Mom’s DNA is 79% England, Wales and Northern European. The other 21% is from Ireland and Scotland. There is not even a smidgen of Native American or African American. My Mom’s side of the family is white and they have been in the Americas since the 1700s. They were part the group of European settlers that ended up in the Mississippi and Louisiana areas. I am sure that means that at some point, I have some ancestors that fought on the Confederate side of the Civil War and it is possible that I had some ancestors that owned another human being or beings. This is information I suspected before doing any research on the family tree just because of how entrenched into Mississippi my family on both sides seems to be.

Sometimes genetics is not the only thing that can be passed down the generations. Racism, for instance, is a learned behavior that can pass along the generations. I had some family members tell me some pretty racist things whenever we visited Mississippi, things that they were taught by their parents, which their parents learned from their parents and so on. I had more than one cousin tell me how lucky I was that I didn’t have to go to school with “any black kids.” I remember looking at them in confusion because I had no idea why that made me ‘lucky’. I still don’t know why that made me lucky. If anything, the lack of diversity in my childhood was a hinderance and I’ve been trying to make up for it in my adulthood. Whenever I have an African American person show up for one of my yoga classes, I get ridiculously over friendly. “Hi! Welcome! I’m so glad you you came to this class!” I go above and beyond to make them feel comfortable, which means I am probably making them uncomfortable. I do the same thing at work, particularly when I cross paths with an African American women. The other day, I passed a young African American women in the hall and I was all “Hi!” and even waved at her like she was my best friend. We do not know each other.

Part of it is that I am desperately trying to convince this population of people that I am on their side. I’m one of the good guys. I am begging them to please do not be afraid of me; I am not dangerous. The other part of me is hoping that I am being encouraging. I want diversity in these white saturated areas because science and yoga are for everyone and I am desperately trying to make amends for my ancestors. I know that my behavior is a symptom of growing up surrounded by white, but I am trying really hard to show that the cycle of passing down racism can be broken. Because every day there is a news story about some white person doing something hateful and racist. White Nationalism is now a thing. Radio hosts are encouraging lynching raids. An uncomfortably large number of white people think that racism is A-okay.

Not this white person.

It is useless to apologize for my whiteness. I can’t help genetics. But I can make my life more diverse and welcoming. I can be a shield against the hatefulness. I can break cycles.

WATCH

I woke up around one AM Sunday morning. There where lights flickering through my window. A red flickering light through the white curtains. At first I thought the house next door was on fire. I jumped up and put on clothes. Michael was already out front when I peeked out the door. Two cop cars had pulled over a vehicle. They had black man standing in front of one of the cars. I could tell his hands were behind his back. I asked Michael if he knew what was going on.  He didn't, but he had seen them search the vehicle. It is illegal for police to search a vehicle without probable cause, which does not include a routine traffic stop. I don't know if this was a routine traffic stop, but Michael and I stood there and watched.

It seemed like something we should do after the events in Ferguson. Being witnesses just in case. I don't know why they pulled over the car, if the young man driving had done something wrong. We could hear the officers talking, but couldn't make out the words. We watched two of the officers search the front seat and pull something out of the car. I stood there barely breathing and trying to notice details. The officers never raised their voices and stood back from the young man at a respectful distance. We didn't witness the cops being belligerent. We didn't witness the young man resisting or being disrespectful. Everyone was calm and so we went inside. Shortly after we went in, the lights turned off and all the cars left the scene without incident. 

I'm sure the cops knew that the neighborhood was watching. We couldn't have been the only ones paying attention, but I don't think any of us were concerned about what the detained man would do. We were all watching the cops. What where the cops going to do? How were they going to react? This is what we were paying attention too. We have become a world responsible for each other and making sure those people of authority don't take advantage of this. Would we have stood watch before Ferguson? Would we have stood with waited breaths, phones at the ready to record what may happen next? I don't know, but I feel that it's more important than ever to pay attention. The change starts with us keeping watch over each other, holding each other accountable for our actions. 

We are responsible for each other.