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Filtering by Tag: no shame

OUR BLOODY HISTORY

Cindy Maddera

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I recently had to have a conversation with the Cabbage about menstruation. I don’t want to go into too many details, because that’s their story to tell or not tell. I just made a point to empathize with them and to stress that there is nothing shameful about periods and what is happening to their body. When I told Misti what I said to the Cabbage, she said that she wished she had had someone tell her the same thing and then I started to get really mad. Then I got furious because for far too long there has always been shame associated with what happens with women’s bodies. The natural processes of the female body has been used as a weapon against women since the dawn of time because not only is something men fear, it is something they don’t understand.

I’m about to set that Red Tent on fire.

Michael attempted to empathize with me for having to have that conversation with the Cabbage by saying something about all boys getting a talk about masturbation. Outwardly, I nodded my head and was all “yeah, that must have been difficult.”, but inwardly I was all “WHAT THE FUCK, GIRLS ARE NEVER GIVEN PERMISSION TO TOUCH THEMSELVES!” Even in sex education, the topic of self pleasure did not exist. Masterbuation was never part of the conversation when I was a young woman. Menstruation was never part of the conversation either. I was so ashamed to mention it that I had to sneak a note to my mother about the things I needed and even then, she did not give any instructions. My strong Southern Baptist upbringing taught me to believe all the things mentioned in the bible about a woman’s body. We were unclean and our only value was in the production of babies. Which is exactly what the patriarchy wants you to believe. I have lost track of the number of times I have heard that a woman can not be President of the United States because of menstruation, the most bullshitty, asinine patriarchal excuse ever.

It is all a lie.

The Sexual Revolution may have shined a light on the female orgasm, but it didn’t do all that much for taking the shame and embarrassment out of a monthly period. Bleeding into your pants has been seen as being as bad as peeing your pants. As if the start and stop of your period was something you ever had any control over. I had one friend tell me as I ranted on this topic that she was afraid to ask for the things she needed because she didn’t know if this was something her parents could afford. She is not the only woman or young woman to have this problem. There are too many women in this country that have to choose between buying milk or buying pads or tampons. Pads and tampons might as well be considered a luxury item and not being able to afford them adds yet another level of shame. Those of us raised in the environment that taught us that our female bodies where shameful now have a very serious choice to make. Do we repeat the cycle with this next generation of young women or do we rail against it with all of our might?

I’ve chosen to rail against it. Not just or the Cabbage, but for myself. I am at an age where my body is changing and doing weird things. I recently stopped taking birth control. My periods are random as fuck and I have no idea what to expect to happen to this body. There isn’t even a whole lot scientific research for me to read through because this society does not place any value on the women’s reproductive organs when those organs are no longer being used to produce. One more thing to add to my list of things that causes rage. This is my body. It does some pretty great things, but it also does some pretty gross stuff sometimes. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT BODIES DO!

And I refuse to have any shame about it.