GOALS

First day of Fall

3 Likes, 0 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "First day of Fall"

Every time someone reserves time on one of our microscopes, I receive an email informing me of their reservation. The reservations coming into mailbox this week are for dates in October and it keeps freaking me out. First of all we have a two week rule. You cannot book earlier than two weeks in advance. So I see that reservation and start to yell “Hey! You can’t reserve a microscope two weeks in advance!” and I’m all ready to send out a polite but severe email. Then I pause and go “oh….wait…”

October is next fucking week, people!

What happened to summer? Or spring for that matter? How is it the first of Fall and the leaves are suddenly changing colors and it’s cold enough in the mornings that I have to wear a jacket and gloves on the scooter? What do I even do with my time? I feel like I’m wasting so dang much of it on all the wrong stuff. I’M WASTING MY LIFE! I feel like I’m not tapping into my full potential and so I started looking into some sort of daily planner. I found one that I like that has a digital format that I would be able to use on my iPad. This would allow me to use my Apple pen to write and color in stuff. There’s a place at the beginning of each month to write out your goals for that month. The calendar opens for the week with a section for writing out tasks for home and work. Then at the end of each month, there’s a place to evaluate where you are with your goals. Did you accomplish them? If not, why? What can you try differently? That sort of thing.

There’s a lot of appeal to having a digital planner like this. First of all, I would have it with me all the time. I carry my iPad with me most days. I’ve gotten in the habit of writing out my yoga classes in a notebook app and I use the meditation timer for both class and my own practice. The digital planner/calendar would encourage me to use my electronic device in other ways. Other than the yoga classes, the iPad is basically a glorified e-reader/TV. I could be doing a lot more with it. The downside is that the digital planner is not free. It is a one time fee and not a subscription, but it’s still not free. I am hesitant to purchase something I may not use. Then again, I might see it as I would a gym membership: if I’m paying for it, I will use it. Maybe that’s the real reason for hesitating. If I buy it and use it, then I will actually have a written record of the things I’m doing or not doing. Most importantly, a record of the things I failed to do each month. A record of failure. Do I need to spend $40 on that? Or can I just drag out my high school yearbook or all those 4-H record books and throw a pity party for one? Actually…I can’t do that because I threw all of that stuff away when we cleaned out the old house.

I could spin this argument of for and against into a tangle.

There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period. - Brene Brown

I’m getting the damn planner. Sure, it might end up as a record of my failures, but it will also be a record of all of my success.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Blinding

12 Likes, 0 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Blinding"

I have been thinking about what I would write here for today and there are many topics for me to choose from this week. That’s nice, those times when I don’t have to dig deep to write something more than a list. Talaura turned me on to the soundtrack for the the current revival of Oklahoma (I mean, check out the guy playing Curly…swoonaliciuos) and a musical about the six wives of Henry VIII called SIX. I ride my scooter to work in the mornings while singing Oh What a Beautiful Mornin’ and No Way as I scoot my way home in the evenings, racing down the city streets. We are in the thick of it here. The heat dome has settled down on top of us and every day is a scooter a day. I ride as fast as I can get away with in order to stay cool.

My life is good. My life is privileged.

Even at times when things are not going well and I’m digging deep. My life is good. My life is privileged.

Yesterday, in my guided meditation, I listened to a meditation practice led by Sah D’Simone on abundance.

You are worthy of abundance

He asked the listener to define abundance. What does an abundant life look like? How do you measure abundance? These are my questions, not ones that Sah asked of the listener. Instead he listed a few things that one would consider when defining ‘abundance’. Happiness, wealth, success. None of these really define an abundant life for me. I have credit card debt. We live on a budget. Some times that budget is tight. I am not wealthy. In fact, I never planned on being wealthy and I don’t expect to be wealthy in the future. My definition for abundance does not include it. My abundant life comes from having a life filled with wonderful friends and a supportive, loving family. The abundance in my life comes from doing a job that I genuinely enjoy and one that happily feeds my science brain. The abundance in my life comes from loving the sweetest little dog, the brief moments of love from the cat and brushing my fingers across the soft feathers of one of the chickens. Collecting multi colored eggs from the coop and tomatoes from the one tomato plant I planted in the backyard. This is abundance.

I have an abundant life.

I think everyone is deserving and worthy of abundance.