HACKING

On Sunday, I received a Facebook message from my friend Tom that included a link for someone I might have know who recently died. I clicked on the link because I’m a dummy, but to be fair it did kind of look like something Tom would send me. Tuesday morning, when I finally opened up Facebook, I was greeted to a number of messages from people (as well as a number of text messages) of concern. So then I spent the morning securing my Facebook account and sending out messages that “no. that link is not from me.” Seriously. If you clicked that link, please go change your passwords and secure your account. The nice part of all of that was that I ended up having four different chat windows open with people I hadn’t talked to in a while. It was nice to reconnect.

I forget that sometimes.

Say what you will about the internet, but I still believe that it is a resource for good. When Chris built my first blog twenty two years ago (holy goats….I’m an old lady), he told me it was for letting our friends know what was going in our lives. By this time, we’d secured a framily but our framily members had moved to other cities and states. We all had blogs as a way to stay connected. Also, Chris saw something in me that I still struggle to really see in myself, a person with creative potential. The world of blogging had a number of benefits. First, it did make it easier to stay connected with our framily. Secondly, it introduced me a number of amazing women all across this country who blog. Some of these women, I would even call ‘friends’ even though we may have only met once in real life or not at all. Some of those women no longer blog and I miss them. Some of those women might write a new post once a year and I miss them. Some of those women have new life views that have veered radically away from my own and I don’t follow them anymore. Those who remain on my list are all women that I admire and who inspire me.

Yeah, the internet can be gross. There are some pretty awful people out there who really get off from spreading their hatefulness and misinformation. But I think there’s enough of us out there who are committed to sharing truths, light and goodness that we can drown out the voices of those awful people. Which reminds me. I need to reach out and leave more words of encouragement and support, not just for my blogging friends but for those distant friends who I haven’t spoken to in a while.

Again. IF YOU CLICKED THE LINK IN MESSENGER CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD! SECURE YOUR ACCOUNT!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Broken

5 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Broken"

We are strangers. Mostly. Many of us have never met face to face. Yet, we feel like we know each other. Sort of. We support and encourage each other in our endeavors. We are generous and philanthropic. We are an online community of women, a community I have managed to wedge my big toe into. Really...I'm a nobody in the blog world. A small fish swimming in an ocean of big fish, but any time I've bumped into one of those big fish, they have been the kindest of fishes and truly genuine moments. This community has been an unexpected perk to blogging. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would meet these women, laugh with these women, cry with these women. 

It would not be until Chris got sick when I would realize just how important this community is to me. That's usually the way, right? Emergencies tend to put things into perspective and change the way we look at life in general. I know that I have never felt more scared then I did during those weeks when we were still trying to figure out what was going to happen to Chris. The roller coaster of emotions from that time was truly nauseating. There was so much that we didn't know, so much that we learned, and so much that didn't want to know. To say that the whole situation was overwhelming is an understatement. Nothing, not even J's death, prepared me for those days leading up to Chris's death. 

During those weeks, I would often receive emails, cards, notes, even gifts from this community of women. These virtual strangers. They sent their love and support during a time in my life when I knew if I stopped moving for a second, I'd curl into a ball unable to face the next decision. To this day, I am humbled and floored by the support they sent me. This, this is what the internet is for, for empowering and supporting each other, particularly in times of need. And I am so so grateful for all of it. A few weeks ago, Rebecca Woolf, a blogger and writer I follow and admire, announced that her husband had just been diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Because I know all too well what they're going through, it was a no brainer for me to donate some money to their GoFundMe page. It is my way of showing my gratitude. I did it because I am grateful for the love and support that I have received from this community. I did it because the internet has taught me the true meaning of community. 

We love and support each other. We care for one another. It doesn't even matter that we are strangers. 

Fuck Cancer.

WRITE HERE

This is Halloween

See this Instagram photo by @elephant_soap * 3 likes

That's what it says in this block before I start writing. 'Write here...' Right here. Sometimes I roll both of those thing around in my head for a while. My right here sounds like Ed Sullivan. Jen Tucker posted something on Facebook yesterday asking for a show of hands for those participating in NaNoWriMo this month. I did not raise my hand even though I am sort of participating. This silly drivel of a children's book that I started has grown tentacles and teeth. It is way too long to read in one story time sitting, but I'm two yolk stories away from tying this piece of work up. That's more than I've accomplished with just about anything. So, can't stop me now! You have to sing that part. I figured I'd just keep going and then when it's all over, I'll go back in and cut out 75% of it, then send to Jen Tucker so she can illustrate it.

Jen Tucker doesn't know she's illustrating this book. Jen Tucker...you're illustrating this book. 

In other news, after finishing up the story about the second yolk, I publicly shamed my niece on Facebook after she posted inaccurate tabloid style 'news' of a political content. I did this for a couple of reasons. First of all she's already declared publicly that she isn't voting. So I feel like she's lost her right to voice an opinion on political matters. Secondly if you post things that are not factual, I am going to call you out on it. Thirdly, I think we need to be held accountable for the the things we say and post online. My niece ended up deleting her post, but did post something later about how the things that she posts online does not define who she is. I mulled this over for some time before I sent her a message.

I don't think the things we post online defines who we are, or at least I hope it doesn't. I do, however think that the things we post are a reflection of who we are or who we want to be. Every time we post something online, we are saying "hey! I find this to be relevant and important enough to share with all my followers!" and that's exactly what your followers see. They see the stuff that you find interesting and that makes an impression about you, your likes, your passions. You are making an impression on the world with the things you post. What kind of impression do you want to make on this world? It's kind of like that advice about dressing for the job you want. 

At the end of the day, I'd like people to look through my news feed and see someone who seeks out beauty in the mundane, passionate about finding truths, likes a good laugh and is always finding ways to be grateful. What does your online fingerprint say about you?