THANKFUL FRIDAY

I had a bag of dried lupini beans that I purchased on a whim from the local Halal Market the last time we were in, stocking up on spices. I didn’t know anything about them other than they looked like lima beans, so I thought I’d just cook them like lima beans.

This batch of beans started out with promise. I had sautéed onions, bell pepper and garlic before adding the beans and stirring in a tablespoon of miso with the water that I added for cooking. I tossed in some salt, cajun spices and a bayleaf (for no reason) and let the beans cook for about twenty minutes before I tasted the broth to check the flavoring. I sipped the broth and said “This is not good.” Michael was in the middle of his weekly lunch prep and turned around to say “That’s not true…let me taste.” Then he tasted the broth and said “No..it’s fine….wait…this is not good.” Then we went down the list of things I had added to make it so horrible and bitter.

Beans…I had added beans. Lupini beans have to be soaked overnight, cooked until just tender, and then rinsed and soaked again for 5-7 days in order to remove bitterness.

It was quite a blow to my ego. I was left staring at my cast iron pot filled with what should have been a delicious healthy meal, but instead was a pot of ruin. I’m good at beans. It’s in my wheelhouse of cooking superpowers. I felt terrible. We ended up ordering out for Indian food, but not before I was texting Heather about my bean fail. Heather referred to them as ‘sneaky beans’. She told me that I had not failed at cooking beans; these were sneaky beans. Of course, she’s one hundred percent right and I knew/know this. I know that the only fault I had made was thinking these beans were just like all the other dried beans, but sometimes you need someone to reassure you.

Heather is always a good source for reassurance and I am so grateful for her, but she is not my only source. I am very blessed and thankful for my group of supporters and I can only hope that I give as good as I get.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Still alive.

"Still alive."

Last night, General Tso's Tofu was on the menu. Only when I opened up the recipe and read the part about drying the tofu for thirty minutes and then marinating it for at least another thirty minutes, I lost the will to live. That's dramatic. I did not lose the will to live, but I had had a very long and slightly frustrating afternoon and waiting for two hours for dinner just didn't sound appealing. I said to Michael "I don't want to make this." He ordered us sandwiches. I am really good about sticking to the menu plan. In hindsight, I should have prepped the tofu yesterday, but 20/20. There are just some nights when the menu that was planned with good intentions turns into a mission impossible. Those nights make me feel like a failure. 

I know deep down that this is entirely untrue. Yesterday, I found a way to help every person that came to me with a problem. I got on my yoga mat. I walked about 12,000 steps. I ate mung beans with rice and kale for lunch. I drank more than eight glasses of water. I washed my face before bed and brush and flossed my teeth. That orchid I bought over a month ago is still very much alive. I make my bed every morning before sitting down to a healthy breakfast and I get to work well before time. I am not a failure. The failure comes from not being able to complete the task and therefore, I can not fail at something that I did not even attempt. Nor does one minor moment of the day define the day entirely. We are all constantly striving for that unobtainable perfection. I am thankful for the little successes throughout my days even if it's just the simple act of making the bed. I am also very thankful that Michael went and got us sandwiches. 

Tomorrow, Michael and I will be day drinking for charity. It is the annual AIDS Walk Open which is a mini-golf pub crawl fundraising event for the Kansas City AIDS Walk. I missed last  year for some reason and Michael who used to bar tend at one of the participating bars has only ever been a witness. This will be his first AIDS Walk Open. I am thankful for Terry because he's the one that always organizes us together for these things. I think we may be a little like herding cats, but Terry takes it all in stride. He makes sure we all get started with a good breakfast and packs a backpack with  snacks. I'm thinking of doing a special video post about the whole thing as a way to kick off my fundraising (begging for money) for this year's AIDS Walk. So keep your eye's peeled for that.

Other things I am thankful for this week? Josephine has started telling us when she needs to go out and she's starting to tackle the steps all by herself. It may be time to get the dog doors refurbished. The temperatures are just a few degrees warmer and there's a rumor that we will see temps in the seventies next week. Once again, I am thankful for you. Here's to a fabulous weekend and a truly Thankful Friday!