THANKFUL FRIDAY

Goose

8 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Goose"

Time changes always mess me up. Even when I've planned for them and I know they are coming. That first night when Mom and I were in Ireland, I woke up and realized that Mom was also awake. I asked her for the time and she said "5:30 AM". I decided that I might as well go ahead and get up and do some yoga and was about half way through my practice when I noticed the time on my phone said that it was really just after midnight Ireland time. I announced this to Mom and said "I'm going back to bed." We both did and then woke up at a more reasonable time a few hours later. Of course that was a five hour time change, but apparently I handle one hour time changes about the same. 

The time change and the transition into Spring have made for some really interesting dreams. One night I dreamed that I was out hiking. I walked to a place where I had to climb onto a log in order to paddle over to an island made of cork. The ground was soft and squishy under my hiking boots and covered with moss and tiny ferns. I made my way to the visitor center which was in a small shack next to a water tower, both made of cork. The water tower leaked. The old man at the visitor center told me that they had a problem with couples coming to the island and stealing bear cubs to take home as pets. The bears on the island were angry and the campground was now surrounded by a bear proof fence that was locked at night. I woke up before I decided what to do next. The next night, I dreamed that I went to work without pants bringing a whole new level to Casual Friday. When my boss saw me, he said "Cindy. You're not wearing pants." I scowled at him and replied "You're not even supposed to be here today so shut up." Then I tugged my T-shirt down a little to be sure it was covering my granny-panty clad ass. I don't know what happened next because I woke up thinking it was Friday, but it was really Thursday.

This has been a week of change. That Patty Loveless song about saying goodbye has been playing in the back of my mind for days. That song always makes me cry, but it is the line about 'life is about changing' that has been on loop in my brain, the words circling around and around like an airplane banner. Often those changes come in subtle quite ways, sneaking in so that they are hardly noticed, like the slow growth of green that starts to spread over things with the coming of Spring. These are the changes that we crave without fearing. The bigger, more sudden changes, like a snow storm after a week of 75 degree weather, are the ones that leave us slightly timid to venture forward. This is the time of year when I am reminded to embrace both kinds of changes. I am reminded to be mindful that change happens every day and that it is how I react to the change that is important. I am thankful for the changes of this week. I am thankful for changes to come. I am thankful for crazy dreams that hint of adventures to come and an acquired boldness.

I am thankful for a turn in the weather because we promised the Cabbage weeks ago that we would go camping this weekend. We are headed to the Joplin KOA with plans to visit the George Washington Carver National Park. I am thankful that my mom will be able to join us for the day. I am thankful for vegetarian sloppy joes. I am thankful for the moments I have had on my yoga mat. I am thankful that Josephine didn't attack Marguerite (the chicken) who escaped while Michael was refilling the chickens' water. I am thankful that Marguerite was more interested in the new water than she was being chased around the yard. I am thankful for moments of stillness. I am thankful for you.

Hope your weekend is full of warmth and that you have a truly Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I'm home with Michael's cold and these two are keeping my legs warm.

"I'm home with Michael's cold and these two are keeping my legs warm."

I had a large chunk of a Thankful Friday written up and I just deleted it all. There was something about it that seamed too I don't know what, but it felt lacking in gratitude. There are so many times when I feel like I'm calling it in and lose a little focus on real gratitude. What does it really mean to be grateful? This is a question I ask myself often usually when I start doubting myself about my sincerity in writing a weekly post on being grateful. Whenever I am doubting, I go look up the definition of the word gratitude.

grat-i-tude: 

the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and return kindness.

I should just have this definition tattooed onto my forearm so that I never forget that gratitude is so much more than just being thankful. Today my brain clicks on the "and return kindness" part of that definition. I always offer to return a cart for someone when I am headed into the same store they just left. I usually let the person with two items go ahead of me in a check out line when I have way more than two items in my cart. I will stand holding the door for someone just a few seconds longer if I see them headed that way. I've been working really hard at treating others the way I wish to be treated. Sometimes that last part is difficult when the other person is not being nice or polite, but I still believe in killing with kindness. I want to be at the ready to show my appreciation and return kindness. At the same time, I want to be at the ready to accept appreciation and kindness. Because, let's face it, sometimes accepting is so much more difficult than giving.

J's oldest boy, J.R. is graduating from the US Marine Corps Recruits today. There are mixed feelings about his decision to follow in his father's footsteps, but I am so very proud of him. I am thankful for the young man he has grown to be. I am thankful he is the kind of young man who makes a commitment to something and sticks with it even when he has chosen a not so easy path. I am thankful that after months of whatever they put those kids through, he still has my Dad's goofy grin of a smile. J.R. looks almost exactly like my Dad did at his age. I am thankful that Randy and Katrina made it safely out to San Diego to see him graduate. I am thankful for the cat and the dog keeping me warm when I was on the couch, sick this week. I am thankful for the eggs we ate last night that came from our own backyard. I am thankful for you.

Hoping you all have a safe, but frightfully fun Halloween and a truly Thankful Friday.