BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM, SORT OF

Open to everyone

"Open to everyone"

My brain is clogged up with science talks and all my thoughts and feelings of being in Portland. The good news is that I'm not going any where for a while, so I have plenty of time to process all of it. In the meantime, I have unpacked my suitcase, finished the laundry, dusted the house and uploaded over three thousand pictures to Amazon. I'm looking into an external hard drive before I delete them all from this computer. I'm acclimating. By acclimating, I mean I'm going through the motions of being back to normal and I'm relying on someone else to think and make decisions for me.  Michael determined the meal plan for this week and made the grocery list. He's done a really good job. Actually, I think he's just happy that he kept everyone alive while I was gone. Four chickens, one cat and one dog is a lot.

I realized at one point yesterday that it's been one year since the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson MO. Todd and I had several discussions on race while I was visiting him. None of those conversations ended with any kind of answer. I thought that things would improve, that Michael Brown would be the tragedy that would make people wake up and pull it together. Then I thought that things only seemed to be worse. Todd brought up a really good point about this. He said that it's because we have instant knowledge of what is happening. He's right. Everyone has a cell phone with a camera on it. It's not that there's been this sudden increase in violence against blacks by police. This is a problem that has been going on for way longer than it should be.  The reason it looks like more is only because I've finally opened my eyes to it. 

Life isn't fair. We cannot change the cards we are dealt. These are sayings that we have all heard.  But what about justice. Life shouldn't be unjust. Life shouldn't be about constantly watching your back because the people who are supposed to protect and serve apparently took an oath to protect and serve only white people. I do not want my tax dollars being spent on salaries for those kinds of police officers. All lives matter. Race isn't a reason to treat this person better than the other. Race is the thing that makes each of us unique and beautiful. Race contains our histories and is something to be proud of.  Lately, I'm not so proud of my own race. It's like we've just kept this perpetual ball of anger, hate and discrimination rolling throughout history. 

I don't want to be part of the generation that stops that ball from rolling on because the ball should have been stopped generations ago by those who came before me. We have self driving cars. We walk around with tiny computers in our pockets. We've eradicated smallpox for God's sake. It's long past time to eradicate discrimination based on race or anything for that matter.  Except we haven't. It's been left up to us to stop that perpetual ball of anger, hate and discrimination from rolling any further. By now that ball is too large and moving too fast for me to stop it alone. So I'm asking help from you guys. Do you think we could all maybe work together on this?

THANKFUL FRIDAY

A glimpse of the plaza lights

elephant_soap's photo on Instagram

I don't understand what's happening in this country recently and I'm having a really hard time talking about the things I am grateful for this week without sounding vapid and shallow. I see a serious imbalance of justice happening around me and I feel powerless to stop it. It didn't start with Ferguson and Michael Brown and it hasn't ended with Eric Garner. It's just that these particular incidents are the ones that have set most of us off with an "Enough!". 

I hear people around me discussing the protests and riots in Ferguson. They all talk about how the protests and riots make little sense. They use terms like "they" "them" and "those people". Of course these voices I'm hearing are coming from white privileged people and they don't realize that when say things like "those people" they are adding another barrier, another wall of separation. Because there is no them or they or those people. There is only us and we all share this space. "I just can't imagine." This is something I heard from people often after Chris died. Any time someone would say that to me, I'd want to scream at them. Of course you can't imagine what it's like to go through what I've gone through. Who sits around and daydreams about their loved one getting sick and dying of cancer? You can't imagine it because you've never experienced it. I've heard that same phrase often in the past few weeks in regards to Ferguson, except instead of death being the unimaginable thing, it's the destruction of public property. I think this is such a myopic way to look at it because it's not about broken windows or burnt out cars. It's about discrimination. It's about being shoved down and pushed around so many times that you start shoving and pushing back. If someone attacks you, don't you fight back? Human instinct usually is to fight back.

No, as a white woman I can't imagine what it's like to be judged because the color of my skin. I can't imagine what it's like to spend every day under suspicion. I can imagine though that over time, that constant judgment and suspicion can wear down a person. I also know that I would never want to be judged for the color of my skin. I would never want to be judged period. And I think that's what I want to say to the people talking around me. Would you want to be treated that way? I've heard people bitch and moan about a cop pulling them over and handing out a ticket for speeding or running a red light. What if that cop was pulling you over for no other reason than he didn't like the way you looked? Again. Would you want to be treated that way? Now it's very clear that if you are a black person, you're not only going to lose a maybe perfect driving record, you may also lose your life. 

I am thankful for the voices that speak up and out. I am thankful for those voices who will not give up in this fight. I am thankful for those voices who inspire others to speak up and fight against injustice. I am thankful for those of us who can see that there is a serious problem here and an imbalance of justice. I am thankful for those of us who see this problem and desperately want to help to make a change. 

VERDICT

It's still Fall.

elephant_soap's photo on Instagram

I was listening to an interview on NPR this morning with a girl who was among the peaceful protesters in Ferguson last night. She said that she was in college at the moment, studying law enforcement. Last night's verdict has made her rethink her law enforcement career. She said that she didn't see the point because there's no justice. I will not talk about what I think of the grand jury's verdict to not charge Darren Wilson for the death of Michael Brown. It doesn't matter what I think because this story, these events, are not about me. No one cares what I think about this verdict. It's just another verdict in a long list of un-just verdicts. I won't go into all of that. This message is for that girl in the interview.

You see, these events like the Michael Brown case is a regular event. Time and time this happens and all the children see are people of authority abusing their power. As an adult we know it's a little bit more complex that this. But if you look at this situation through the eyes of a kid in this neighborhood, it looks like cops kill black men and in particularly, unarmed black men. This is what they grow up believing. And because there's never any accountability, these kids grow up thinking that anyone in authority, most often the white guy, is the bad guy. What reason have we given them to think otherwise? How often do you think these kids have seen a police officer accost or gun down a white man? If you look at the news, it's the crazy white guy that opens fire on you while you're watching a movie at the theater or hanging out in the library, but it's never the one being gunned down by the police officer. Yes there is bias in the media and often the news is interchangeable with the word tabloid. But remember, we're talking about a child's mind, they things they see and what they learn from the things they are seeing. 

So here is what I want to say to that girl thinking of a career in law enforcement. DON'T QUIT! A fire only needs a spark to turn into a blaze. You are that spark. You can make a difference. You can create change. You can be the voice of justice. You can. I know you can. You can be that person of authority that those kids can look up to and no longer fear because they know that you are there to truly protect and serve. Please do not give up on your dream. Without you and dreamers like you, we will just be creating an endless loop of repeating history. Stop the loop. Show these kids that there is fairness and justice. And while your at it, recruit. Tell your friends how great it makes you feel to be in law enforcement and making a difference. Just, whatever you do, please, don't give up. 

RACIAL PROFILING IS WRONG AND DOESN'T WORK

I originally sat down to write up an entry for Love Thursday, but my thoughts just keep circling back around to the recent riots and unrest in Ferguson MO. I wanted to say something about this and I didn't want it to get buried in a usual weekly post. This topic is too important for that. Protests started Sunday in response to the shooting of 18 year old Michael Brown. Police say that Michael Brown had an altercation with an officer in which he reached for the officer's gun. Michael Brown was shot as he was running away. Unarmed. Shot multiple times. Witnesses say that Michael Brown even had his hands up and was getting on the ground when the officer shot him a few more times. 

Of course I in no way support rioting or even agree with reacting to violence with more violence. My heart goes out to Michael Brown's family. They deserve to know the truth of the events behind their son's death and they deserve justice. I recognize that I am in no way qualified to discuss matters of rioting, let alone racial profiling. But just like in the case of Trayvon Martin, the events behind Michael Brown's shooting could have easily happened on my street. It's bad enough that it involves racial profiling, but the excessive force has gotten out of hand. Guns always win over fists. You might shoot a person once in self defense, not multiple times.

Google "officer shoots unarmed person". As you scroll down the list of the search result, pay attention to two things. First, the number of unarmed shootings and second the race of those victims. A research report in Psychological Science, The Consequences of Race for Police Officers' Responses to Criminal Suspects found that police officers were more likely to mistakenly shoot unarmed black suspects than unarmed white suspects. These are the results of putting police officers in an isolated room and showing them random pictures of college-aged males (equal numbers of black and white). In the picture the suspect was holding something, sometimes a gun, sometimes a wallet or cell phone. The interesting part about this study is that research noticed that officers exposed to the program over and over again lost their biases. This is strong evidence that these training programs should be mandated for all law enforcement officials.

I have never been a target of discrimination because of my race. I can't even begin to imagine what that's like for someone. And as a white woman, saying that I sympathize sounds inappropriate. No, my job as a white woman is to scream it from the mountain tops that this is unacceptable and that I do not condone or support or VOTE for people who allow intolerance in law enforcement agencies. It is my job to push for programs to educate police officers as well as people of the communities. At the end of the day ALL of us make up this country. There is no such thing as "those people" or "them". There is only "us". We are all just trying to live our lives, put food on the tables and roofs over our heads. All of us deserve to live our lives without fear that the people who are supposed to be protecting you are going to hurt you. All of us deserve to live our lives without fear.