THANKFUL FRIDAY

Wednesday was a lot. It was dark and dreary and rainy, but when I came down the steps at work to walk towards the coffee machine, I was greeted with a bright, beautiful mandala that had been made in celebration of Holi, the Hindu Festival of Colors, Spring and Love. Wednesday was what would have been my Dad’s eighty fourth birthday, but at the same time, it is also my sister’s birthday. So it was a little bit sad because there are days when I really need my Dad and I miss him, but at the same time I love my sister and want her to know that every year she survives is one worth celebrating.

Wednesday was also International Women’s Day. It feels like a forced made up holiday, which it kind of is. Then I watched a TikTok of One’s CEO Gayle Smith discussing Women’s Day and she said that International Women’s Day is not so much a celebration of women, but a commitment to support women every day of the year. This is an idea I really like. In fact, it is a mindset I can apply to many of these types of celebration days. I’m generally frustrated with months that celebrate the history of cultures that should have just been included in my history lessons to begin with. So instead of being frustrated with limiting ourselves to a month, I can channel that energy into committing myself to the continued learning of Black History or Hispanic History or Women’s history or you know…ALL history.

Gayle Smith threw out some pretty yucky statistics regarding women and the pandemic. There was an increase in domestic violence and abuse, an increase in child brides and more women left the work force. During the lockdown, many women took on the roles of child care provider and teacher all while attempting to work remotely. Many of us were burning our candles not just at both ends, but by setting the whole thing into the fire pit. When the lock down was over, there was an increase in women not returning to the workforce. As a woman, it feels like every day is a little bit of a battle for equality, but I never felt like I was on a losing side of this fight until 2020. Since that time, the punches have gotten surprisingly harder. We’ve lost the rights to our own bodies. Missouri House of Representatives just this year passed a law that requires women to “cover their arms” while in the House. The law details a specific dress code for women without any mention of how a man should dress. One would think that the Missouri House of Representatives would have more important things worry about, but apparently not.

We are in the mother fucking trenches, ladies.

But ladies, there is no better company to be in the trenches with.

When you’re a woman, everything is political

- feminists cite millions of women in public and private conversations as the phrase's collective authors.

We are a collective of care givers and general life support, but most importantly, we are a collective of warriors. I’ve surrounded myself with a pretty kick ass collective of women warriors and today, I am thankful for every single one of you.

WHAT THE GOOGLE DOODLE GOT WRONG

It is International Women’s Day and all month long companies, TV channels and radio stations are celebrating women. I’m sure there is also a Hallmark card out there for this day. Of course, there is a Google Doodle celebrating women today and it’s nice. It is simple, depicting colorful scenes of women doing stuff like taking care of all of the things while doing their job or being doctors. I scrolled through the doodle twice and both times I felt like the artist was given a theme of ‘domestic caregiver’ for the doodle. With maybe an exception for the scooter mechanic, most of those doodle scenes were just stereotypical ideas of women and how men define the role of women.

[side rant: Did I tell you the finance guy at the motorcycle dealership told me that scooters were a much better two wheeled vehicle choice for women? He said that women on motorcycles were not safe. Did you know that one of the great things about wearing masks is that no one can see you mouthing ‘fuck you’ while you put a smile in your eyes?]

None of those doodle scenes depict the fight and drive that women have to have in order to be more than that defined role. The reality of that first scene with the mother rocking her baby while remote working in the office and checking on the older child doing remote school is missing the partner that was sitting at the table or at his own desk ONLY doing remote work. That next scene of women doctors and nurses was all too easy. Women doctors and nurses have finally become a “normal” role we can play in society. The same is true for the scene of the woman designing clothes and running her own fashion business. Where is the scene for the woman who walks four miles a day just to collect fresh drinking water for her children? What about a scene that depicts a woman who could not do her job remotely, has no partner support, and has to manage children and the household? Where is the scene of the women in the Ukraine making molotov cocktails and building barricades to keep the Russians from invading their country?

I think the thing that really bothers me about the Google Doodle is how easy and light they make the life of women look. There is nothing there that depicts how fucking hard it really is. It’s dirty, gritty, messy and exhausting. You want to celebrate women? Give them a break. Take over some child care or at least wash the stack of dishes piling up in the kitchen. Walk the four miles for them to get the water or better yet, make the fresh water accessible at their home. Provide a temporary safe haven for a Ukrainian woman so she can at the very least take a shower and have a nap without worrying about the next missile attack. Recognize and depict the struggle that woman go through to be the doctor, the scientist, the wildlife photographer, the business owner. Recognize and depict the struggle that women go through to just be.

Don’t celebrate me with sugar coated scenes of life.