WHAT TO TELL

Bits and pieces. Flashes. Snapshots. I don’t know what to tell you about our trip. The first two or three days of my time was spent in conference rooms, listening to people present their research and chatting with my peers. I walked into the conference believing that I wasn’t smart enough to be there only to discover that my name was on at least four, if not five, posters being presented at the conference. Then three different people who I work with at different times told me how glad they were to see someone from the microscopy group attending the meeting. So, my mental state went from not smart enough to just about smart enough to be sitting at this table and that maybe it is time to update my resume.

While I conferenced, Michael and the Cabbage roamed the streets of Vancouver. They hopped on and off the bus and in and out of shops. They filled their bellies with raw fish and sweets. The Cabbage collected Canadian coins and buttons. They visited the Diaso multiple times, emerging with new flavor of Poky each time and some trinket. When I joined them for dinners, we’d eat more raw fish and I’d listen to them talk about the things they saw. Each day, I listened and watched as Michael fell more and more in love with the city. By the end of the week, he was looking up housing and the steps to becoming a Canadian citizen.

When I was finally done conferencing, Amani drove up from Seattle to spend the day with us. We laughed, we ate…Lord, how we ate, and we toured the city. We took Chris to the A-maze-ing Laughter sculpture and I left him in the hand of one of the laughing statues, laughing at the perfection of leaving Chris in the middle of laughing statues. Amani, ever so gently and sweetly, moved Chris’s ashes around to work him into the grooves of the statue hand, so that his ashes would linger there a little longer. She took the most hilarious and obscene photo of me with a statue. Our laughter over this photo was so deep that it became the soundless, breathless kind, leaving us gasping for air. The four of us walked ourselves to a foot spa for foot rubs before dinner. Highly recommended. Amani and I bought ridiculous matching t-shirts so we could laugh our heads off even more when we parted ways. How special it is to find such a friendship at this stage in life.

The next day, the three of us explored the markets and shops of Granville. The Cabbage discovered a water park where we let them play in the clothes they had on, being totally unprepared for a day of water play. They played for hours, while Michael and I roamed the shops, periodically checking in with them. This was our very last day and we savored every sight and meal. The next morning, we walked out of the hotel for the last time into a cool and overcast day and we made our way to the airport. The weather was fitting for the mood. We arrived in Vancouver under similar weather conditions, but the clouds broke away so that our week was filled with sunshine. Just like in my yoga classes when I start the class with a focus on the breath and end the class with a focus on the breath, we started our trip with clouds and ended it with clouds.

Since we were on separate airlines and flights, all of us had a different re-entry to this country. Yet both of us felt the same way, like we’d we returned to the land of hot and angry. People were no longer polite and kind, like the people in the city we had just left. Everyone in Vancouver was so nice, quick to say ‘Thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ or ask about your well being. The people in Vancouver were quick to show respect for the Indigenous people, admitting to stealing their land. They are open and accepting and welcoming. Michael came home with new goals, good life altering goals. We arrived home late and the next day we dragged ourselves out, jet-lagged, to buy groceries. We kept reminding ourselves to ‘be Canadians’, reminding ourselves to be patient and kind not just with each other, but with every person we encountered. This is why it is so important to experience international travel. You learn some valuable lessons.

Michael feels like there are some big changes for us on the horizon. We definitely had some serious conversations about our future and what that looks like for our relationship. I don’t know if there’s big changes ahead. For me, it’s enough to come home inspired for change. I feel like I’ve been gone for months and that I came home to a house that should have been covered with sheets before we left. I’ll spend the next few days unpacking and resettling into this space before I let myself begin to plan for possibilities. In the meantime, I am holding onto our new found mantra and making it a daily practice to be patient and kind.