THE PREGNANCY WAR

Usually, I’m working on a Thankful Friday post right about now, but instead I’m writing about a conversation that has been rolling around in my head all week. It was a conversation about pregnancy. The person I was talking to was telling me about a new coworker. They said they really liked this person, felt she was a great choice for the job, but she’s pregnant and didn’t disclose this information during her interview. The person then said “I think that’s very unethical of her.” Here’s where I stepped in to defend this new coworker. The unethical part of all of this is not the part where the woman did not disclose her pregnancy. The unethical part comes from the corporate society that has lead to a woman not being able to disclose a pregnancy for fear of not getting the job.

The person I was talking with then said “So, I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness and given six months to a year to live. Do I disclose that information if I’m applying for a job?” I feel I deserve a cookie for not saying the actual words I was thinking, which were along the line of “No, Drama Queen, and you’ve just linked pregnancy to a terminal illness. Don’t be obtuse.” This is an apple and oranges comparison, but still I think your current state of health is nobody’s business but your own. Also, you have no idea the amount of good work you could do in the span of six months, let alone a year. It is about investing in the person who is right, qualified and talented, for the job. Everything is temporary.

The New York Times published an article this week about the sad amount of money the U.S. spends on child care and early child development compared to other countries. The average amount other countries spend on child care is around $14,000 a year for a toddler, while the U.S. spends only about $500 or even less. Most families get about $200 in a once a year tax credit for children under two. Any one who is a parent knows that childcare is expensive. My friend Robin once told me that after her second child was born, her and her husband talked about her leaving work to be a stay at home mom. It turned out that her keeping her job, even while paying for two babies in childcare, provided the family with just enough money to keep them from sinking further into debt. So while most of her paycheck went to pay for childcare, the rest of it paid the light bill. Now imagine a single parent family with a mother who has a minimum wage job. Actually, she probably has more than one minimum wage job because that’s the only thing she can do to pay for the roof over her kids head’s.

This is bullshit. But wait…I’m going to give some more bullshit numbers.

The U.S. has double the maternal mortality of most higher income countries. That’s twice as many deaths a year than France and Canada, more than double the rate of the UK. Our maternal death rate is the highest rate among developing countries. THE HIGHEST. The maternal death rate is twice as high for Black women than white or Hispanic women. In this study by the Commonwealth Fund on Maternal Mortality Rates in the U.S., found that Black women with a college education are at a 60% higher risk of maternal mortality than white or Hispanic women. In a 2018 interview with Vogue, Serena Williams shared her pregnancy story and the risks involved in childbirth. It also put a spotlight on the racial bias in the medical field. I’ve had plenty of experience with white male doctors not listening to me. This happens to every woman, but in many cases Black women in particular have been dismissed and mistreated. Case in point: Henrietta Lacks.

And you know what? I didn’t even intend for this post to go in this direction. What I wanted to focus on was the woman’s right to work. When a man goes to interview for a job, does he have to disclose that his wife is pregnant? It doesn’t even enter anyone’s mind. A man can have a job and be a parent. As a woman, we should have the same rights, but as I dig into this topic I just find myself in a pool of disparages that can be narrowed down by one word: Hypocrisy. For a country with a large number of voices screaming for family values, we sure do offer little support for families. Now is a great time to be contacting your senators and representatives and encouraging them to support policies that support working families, policies like childcare and healthcare and reproductive rights.