THANKFUL FRIDAY

The first week of November, I entered my word count on the website for NaNoWriMo, all 1,535 words of Table Stories. I have not been back since, but I have been slowly working on this project. On Wednesday this week, I started work on the fifth story in the series. It is a story about fried oysters and our family’s Christmas dinner tradition. I even had a text conversation with Katrina about what goes into making fried oysters. I still have no idea what goes into making fried oysters. Sometimes there’s milk involved. Cornmeal seems to be always involved. All of that is making its way into the story, but as I started writing, some feelings bubbled up inside me that I didn’t know I was holding onto. Then I wrote the most painfully honest sentence and the weight of that sentence slammed into my chest so hard that for a moment I could not breathe. I sat in my desk chair, with my head resting back and cried. I was not prepared for the memories those words would end up conjuring. I sent a text to Katrina telling her that I did not think I could write this story. It was too hard.

But I kept writing.

Because at the heart of that story is a story of joy.

I may not be keeping up with the required word count for NaNoWriMo, but I have noticed that I am more organized this time around. Creating an outline centered around meals has brought order to the stories rattling around inside this brain. Though many of those stories are happy ones, there are moments that contain great sadness. I am finding ways to blend the joy with the sad. That’s not right. I think I have always known how to blend the joy with the sad. That is what this exercise in writing has really done. It has reminded me that while I know too well how to tell a sad story, I also know how to tell a joyful story. I know how to blend the two together with words the the way I live my daily life. We live in a blend of emotions.

November is not over, but I don’t see me hitting a 50,000 word count in a weeks time. Still, it has given me a start. It has given me a direction. It has brought me a clear path. Sometimes that is all I need.