SABATICAL

Exit plan

elephant_soap's photo on Instagram

There's really something to be said for powering down electronic devices on weekends. Over the weekend, I used my to phone occasionally to take a picture and upload to Instagram so that I could post it to my Tumbler (I just rolled my eyes at that sentence), but I ignored email and facebook and twitter. Some of that was because I needed the break and some of that was enforced by the fact that I really didn't have signal where we were. I did not find this as annoying as some of the younger wine tourists. We made it to one of the wineries just as a party bus was dropping off two groups of bachelor and bachelorette parties. We stood in line for about ten minutes to get to the tasting room. I heard "I can't get a signal!" in whiney Valley Girl from at least seven different voices. We opted out of that line before making it to the tasting room. The hills of rural MO are not conducive to cell signal. 

Actually I think this was the moment when I felt really at peace with ignoring the internet. There was one time I answered a text from Katrina. It just felt really important to answer "no" to Katrina's request to purchasing a pooping doll for the Cabbage. When I showed the picture of the doll to Michael, he also replied with a "no". Actually, I believe he said "fuck no". Katrina is responsible for the Dog Walker Barbie with the dog that poops. There were little plastic poop pellets scattered around the living room. I think the vacuum has them now. This doll in particular "magically poops charms." There's nothing magical about pooping unless you haven't done it two weeks. This entry has digressed.

Peace! That's what I was talking about. Every time I heard someone say "I can't get a signal" it was said in a voice of panic. I didn't once feel this way over the weekend. I didn't panic when a photo failed to post. I didn't get frustrated whenever I looked at my phone and saw only one dot of signal. In fact, I really didn't care. It was almost a relief to not check email or check in on facebook. Freeing. I used my phone to take pictures and even then I didn't use it all that much. Those two days of down time has made it really difficult to get back into the world of the interwebs.

I've been doing a 365 Days of Happiness project for the last two years. Each day I find something that makes me happy, I take a picture and post it to my Tumblr. For a few weeks now, I've felt like this project has stalled. It's not that I'm not happy or there aren't things out there making me happy. I'm happy. I can say that I haven't felt this emotionally well since before Dad passed away. I just have days where the happy can't be photographed or I don't feel like making the effort. Instead, out of desperation to post anything to my 365 day project, I just choose whatever picture is in my Instagram feed. Sometimes I even roam around the house just taking a picture of whatever even if doesn't make all that particularly happy. Isn't silly when we get stuck in our own ruts of good intentions?

This weekend taught me that it's OK to let this project go for a bit. Give it a rest. Just until the new year. I'm thinking of changing it up some, more of a happiness/gratitude project and one that may not happen every single day. I have plans for the new year. It includes loads of happy without the pressure of proving it on a daily basis.