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Me: "I heard this guy telling this story at the DMV about one of his friends. They had bought a brand new Lincoln SUV thing for their 16 year-old. Then the kid busted a headlight and it cost something like $5,000 to fix." Chris: "So...these people are not only stupid. They're rich?!? Why are stupid people always rich?"
Me: "I don't know. Do we need to be stupid?"
Chis: "I guess. Do you want to start voting republican?"
Yesterday I went to the DMV to get my motorcycle license. They've closed a bunch of the DMV Exam Stations due to a budget crunch, so the one I had to go to was not close to the house. Since I thought I'd be taking a driving test, I had to ride my scooter out there and find a way to do it with out getting on a highway. Chris and I have been practicing riding through our neighborhood. We're nervous about getting out on city streets with out actually having our license for obvious legal reasons. Yesterday was my first time out on real streets with real speed limits. Luckily it was early and traffic was light. The DMV opens at 7 AM and I wanted to be there when the doors opened. So did about fifty other people. I got there at ten till seven and there were already about fifty people in front of me in line. Some of them had been camped out side since 4 AM.
I realized that all those jokes I'd heard about the DMV are true. There were already so many people there, that they had booked all their driving tests for the day. All I could do was take my written which I didn't get to take until almost 9:30 (yup two and half hours later). But I passed! I have ninety days to get the driving portion done. Even though I was not really legal, I went ahead and took my scooter to work. It was great! I was a little nervous, but I didn't have any problems. The coolest thing was passing these big Harley riding dudes and having them wave at me. I grinned from ear to ear and very cautiously returned the wave. Beep beep!
I've thought about this entry off and on for a long time. Do I post something so open and honest when I know who reads this blog? Every anniversary I sit down and write this post and end up erasing it. August 1st, 2005 was a day that reset all the calendars and clocks. Has it only been three years? Some times that horrible day and following weeks flood into my brain like a tidal wave and I feel myself gasping and reaching for something to scrape the images from my brain. Other times it feels like it all happened a life time ago. So, after three years, are we better? I think some of us have survived better then others. It's kind of like taking a group of people and cutting off one arm from each and then waiting around to see who adapts and who gives up. That's the best way to explain my family. Some of us have let go of the grief. Some of us have let our grief fester into a disease. We all deal with it in our own way. It's not neat, but in fact very messy and ugly at times, but we do what we got to do to get by.
I think it took me three years to get over the numbness in order to grieve. I find myself thinking a lot about J and about stupid things we did as kids. I cry more now then before. Little things set me off like the opening scene in Ironman or ironing an old shirt of Chris's that I thought was clean and finding a handful of cough-drop wrappers in the front pocket. I had eaten those things like candy during the funeral. It still makes me angry when someone tells me "thank you for your sacrifice" or "He died for our freedom". The last one is the worst. I want to punch the person in the face it makes me so angry. If they're stupid enough to say it, then they're too stupid to get why it makes me angry. So I smile politely and say thank you and move on. And I guess I can look back on these last three years as a lesson in moving on.
So Limon wanted to know about the fun books I've been reading. Here are the ones I've read in the last month or so. I really should keep better track of what I'm reading when. 1. The Worst Hard Times by Timothy Egan. Ok, this a non-fiction book but it was really a great read. It is the most compelling and fascinating book on the Great Dust Bowl. Egan's description of the dust storms at times left me gasping and imagining my own lungs filling with dust. Really. Read this book!
2. A Widow for a Year by John Irving. I'm conflicted about this one. There were times while reading when I didn't want to put the book down. Then there were parts in the book where I just wanted to skip ahead.
3. Odd Hours by Dean Koontz. Not the best Dean Koontz book I've ever read, but it was good. I really like the Odd Thomas character and I'm pleased to see Koontz turning him into a series.
4. A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon. Great fun read. Every thing has to be read with a British accent running in your head. I can already see this turned in to a BBC movie. There were parts that made me laugh out loud.
I have four others I just picked up from the bargain bin at the book store, but I can't remember the titles. I'm not starting any of them until after I take my motorcycle test (hopefully Friday).
I truly believed that Chris's mom was just playing dumb because she's lazy, but last night she proved that she really is stupid. She made some deal with a stranger in our neighborhood about repairing the fence that borders our properties. Of course she didn't tell us any thing about it, so we were clueless when the guy stopped by to ask us about it. He left his name and phone number so that we could call him back. Mr. Swan's brilliant idea last night was to roam the neighborhood looking for this guy instead of CALLING him...on a PHONE. When she couldn't find him at the place where she thought he lived, she decided to ask a pack of hoods roaming the street if they new the guy. She had her purse sitting in the passenger's seat and was talking to them through the window when one of the punks reached in, grabbed the purse, and ran. We had left her alone for less then twenty minutes and she gets her purse stolen.
So, police come, report is made, cop finds the punk. The purse is gone (of course) and we canceled her cards. She didn't have her check book or any cash and today she's going down to replace her drivers license. She was lucky. It was just a purse; it could have been worse. Things calmed down for the evening. That's when she decides to go get her gun out of her dresser "to make sure it's there and working".
I did not grow up around guns. They make me uneasy and I don't see that owning one makes me any safer then not owning one. Most likely, unless the gun is always holstered to my hip, I'm never going to be able to get to the gun in time to do any thing with it. Plus, I honestly don't think I could actually shoot someone with the intent to kill or maim. Chris was not happy about his mom getting her gun out and he took it away from her. He told her she could have it back when she could prove to him the she could actually get to it when an emergency occurs. Ah...the argument that ensued. She's still mad. We left her stewing in her chair this morning. It made me chuckle.
Module six of yoga teacher training focused on breathing (pranayama) and hip openers and boy was I glad when this weekend didn't involve a quiz. I have been a bad student and did not study. I usually make note cards for all the new sanskrit words, but I didn't do this for module five until early last week. The problem is I keep getting fun books to read. Plus I would rather be studying and preparing for my motorcycle test. I'm more worried about the driving portion of the test. I've already scored a 92% on the practice written test. I just feel like I have a lot to do, but I'm just too lazy to do any of it. It doesn't help that it's a hundred degrees out either.
At least I don't feel as physically wasted after this session as I did after the last. You would think that eight hours of hip opening poses would have killed me. But I'm constantly surprised by my ability to keep up. I felt physically and emotionally drained by the end of class yesterday. You tend to carry emotional stress in your hips. I tend to get sad and a little depressed when I do hip openers (even though they feel great physically) and I usually end a hip opener practice with a really good back bend. I expected the worst when I got up this morning. But I feel great today. I went to the Y this morning and walked and went to the yoga class there (even though the teacher has a teaching style that makes me cringe a little on the inside). I'm tired, but not more so then any other day. I want to go home and ride my scooter.
I think I've mentioned before how I just don't like going to "family" get-togethers at my brother-in-law's house. The events are usually excruciating. Sunday's birthday party for my niece was no exception. They combined my nieces birthday with her cousin's (it was his first). My sister-in-law's (A) side of the family are odd. They are all very pro-WalMart, Bush and Ann Coulter and they're not really big on encouraging education. Every one knows that all you really need is a GED. A's sister has this husband that just gives me the creeps. He's the one that usually gives the blessing before big family dinners (which is always odd, because Chris's family doesn't claim a religion). Any way, this guy gives off this weird preachy, sex offender vibe and he makes my skin crawl. We hadn't had to see them in a while, so I guess this is why he felt the need to hug me hello (I just threw up a little in my mouth remembering the hug). But even A's family weren't as bad this time because they were over shadowed by the people invited to the one-year old's side of the party.
It was a living cliche. Imagine a house full of teenage mothers and one pregnant teenager. Except these girls were the worst kind of teen-mommy. These were the type of girls who got pregnant to keep a boy around. The type that pretends to be an attentive mother, but would be happier holding a beer and a cigarette. The type of girl who has a baby because she has nothing else going for her then her ability to reproduce. It's just unfortunate that they are reproducing little replicas of themselves, following similar paths, floating along uneducated and voting with out using their brains (if they vote at all). For once, Chris and I were the oldest people there with out kids.
All I can say is Thank the Gods that this was an on-call babysitting weekend for Chris. Getting called in to watch the Beast is ten times better then sitting through the most awkward birthday party. The highlight was talking to Chris's brother about the scooters. He was so excited for us, he let me borrow a helmet.
Boy am I pooped! What a weekend?!? The Feist concert was one of the best concerts I've been to. Chris and I had been to Kansas City to see Sting a long time ago, but we didn't get a chance to really see the city. This time around we had time to drive around the city some and we liked what we saw. Kansas City is a very pretty place with lots of trees and green. We were very surprised by just how charming the city is. The concert was at The Starlight Theater on the Missouri side of Kansas City. It's a very quant little outside theater set in a big park (that also houses the local zoo). Juana Molina was the opening act and she was fantastic. I bought a CD, that's how much we liked her. She's like a modern day version of the one-man-band and I fell in love. Feist put on a fabulous show as well. She was very engaging and interactive with the audience. It was just a wonderful night.
Chris and I had a really great time and we begrudgingly admit to be being a bit smitten with KC. Now (5 1/2 hrs later) we're home, tired, but wired over the delivery of our scooters. They're still not here. I took some pictures (we had great seats!), but my camera was on the wrong setting so they're a little blurry. I like to think this adds an artistic twist to the pictures and reflects the energy of the concert.
Right now I'm sitting in a hotel room in Kansas City. I'm supposed to be resting. We're going to the Feist concert in about one hour. This weekend was totally about going to the Feist concert in Kansas City and it was until we stopped by the Vespa shop in Tulsa "just to look".
It's all Chris's fault. He was the one that said "let's go spend the night at your parents in Collinsville". He's the one that just had to go check out The Whole Foods Market in Tulsa, which just happens to be down the street from the Vespa shop. The Vespa shop of course had to have their scooters displayed outside like giant popsicles. When we stopped "just to look" I told Chris that we couldn't stay long because Mom was fixing dinner. Then I sat on my Vespa. My Vespa. Yup. We bought not just one, but TWO Vespas (thanks to Dad because our credit sucks).
Now, instead of being all excited about Feist, I just want to be home. Waiting for them to deliver my scooter. Thinking about all the stuff I need to go with it (helmet, gloves, license, insurance). Worrying about learning to ride it. My Vespa, V. Chris got an orange one.
I only have two days left on my detox diet. So far it hasn't been that bad. I don't miss the meat. I really don't even miss the cheese. But I do miss sugar. I want cake. My meals that I planned have left me full, but mildly unsatisfied. Today I got the idea to make spaghetti and once I started thinking about pasta sauce, I became a little giddy. The challenge is finding spaghetti sauce that doesn't have added sugar. I dragged Chris with me to the health food store after work where we perused the tomato sauce isle. I had to read many a label before coming across a sauce that didn't have added sugar. Then I had to find a gluten free spaghetti noodle and while I was searching, I came across these chips. I love these chips! After eating the first chip I looked at Chris and said "I think I will live". They are so good and lifted my spirits so much that I could probably do this diet for a whole month.
But I'm not. Friday is the last day. After that, I'm sticking to the veggies, but also adding in dairy and sometimes fish. No animal products is hard!
I'm starting a new tradition called Fourth of July resolutions. It's a good time in the year to re-evaluate all the things you set out to do at the beginning of the year and if you're like me, your resolutions have slid to the way side. I didn't really make major resolutions this year. I told myself that I would eat better, quite some bad habits...the usual. Now, starting the seventh month of the new year, the bad habits still linger and the plan to eat better has gotten wonky. Tomorrow begins the Detox-End-of-Bad-Habits diet. It's the same detox diet that Dooce tried for a couple of weeks. I had been searching for a detox diet when she blogged about hers. It's simple. No caffeine, no alcohol, no gluten, no sugar, and no animal products. Easy right? The diet is supposed to last 21 days. Dooce made it two weeks before she got the mother of all sinus infections and her doctor told her to stop. I have no great expectations. I've planned my diet for a measly week. At the end of the week, I'll re-evaluate how I feel and see were it goes from there.
I have a feeling after this week, I'll end up making the switch to vegetarian. I've been headed in this direction for some time now. My lunches tend to be vegetarian and I feel better when I'm eating more veggies. I also think my body is going to really like the no gluten part of the diet. The hardest part is going to be living without cheese or milk for the week. Most of all I'm hoping this diet will give my system the kick start I need to stick with a good plan for my body. We'll see.
Wow, it’s been two whole months since I’ve blogged about yoga teacher training. Well, that’s because we haven’t had a teacher training weekend in almost two months. Last weekend was Module Five in my teacher training classes and I was a little nervous about jumping back into things. I started panicking about a week before about my homework assignments and what to study for quizzes. But there was no reason for worry. My teacher loved my book report and I only missed one question on the quiz. This session focused on balancing postures. At first I thought “sweet! I totally rock balance postures!”. Then I went to pick up our hand outs and saw that the first balancing pose was Crane pose. I have never ever, ever, ever been able to get myself into this pose. Worst of all, I hold my breath while trying to attempt this pose. Number one rule in yoga: Hold the pose and not the breath. I’d like to tell you that I finally mastered this pose over the weekend, but I didn’t. I did learn ways to help me achieve this pose in the future and I did do the pose, just with my head resting on a stack of blankets. Most importantly, I learned that it’s OK not to do the pose. It’s all about the journey. I also learned that I should never muster through knee pain while in tree pose (because of the q-angle thing) and how to do this pose in a way that’s better for me.
Yes, balancing postures (with the exception of Crane) have always been easy for me, but in normal doses. Not FOUR hours of standing balance postures. My body did not want to move this morning and it still doesn’t. Worst of all, I had to teach my yoga class today at work. I’m tired.
Chris and I have become addicted to the new Planet Green channel. It’s a really great channel with the exception of Adrian Grenier’s show Alter Eco, which would be great if they would reduce the cheese by a factor of 20. The other day I was watching a segment on G Word about a guy who saved his garbage for a year. At first you might be thinking “Hoarder!”, but this guy was really neat about it. He rinsed out and washed stuff and neatly organized it. He said that the first thing he realized was that he bought a lot of prepackaged foods. Well, Duh! Don’t we all? Since this show, I’ve become slightly obsessed about my trash. I take wrappers and bags home from my lunch at work and the more I think about product packaging the more annoyed I get. I try to buy healthy, organic foods, but I’ve noticed that many of the packaged organic foods do not have recycling information on them. Shouldn’t your organic food come in recyclable packaging or at least some sort of information on if you can put it in the recycling bin?
The information is out there, but it’s not easy to find. The same is true on where to take CFC light bulbs. I hunted for recycling drop-off places for light bulbs for an hour yesterday. I came across a story about Wal-Mart collecting them for one day only…as a promotional stunt. You can purchase a recycle kit from Waste Management for $25. It holds up to 18 bulbs, but the thing is I don’t want to wait around. I have two bulbs and it will probably be another year before I have one more to add to the pile. I have enough crap sitting around in storage as it is. I just want to take the two bulbs with me when I’m out and about and drop them into a box on the way into a store, like Wal-Mart, or Lowes, or Target.
People are willing to recycle if it’s made easy. It shouldn’t be complicated. I shouldn’t have to hunt for information on whether or not it’s safe to put a product in the recycle bin.
10:18 AM me: Heather's up for happy hour on friday10:19 AM She said that if Scott can go play golf two days in a row, she can go to happy hour and have a couple of drinks with us. Mickey Mantel's? 10:21 AM Chris: cool sounds good 10:22 AM me: Ask a vet online says that Hooper can have "cold tale" caused by tremendous wagging of the tail. Basically he threw out his tail. 10:23 AM It says that if the tail seems painful in any way to take him to the vet. I felt allup and down his tail Monday and he didn't seem at all like it hurt him. 10:24 AM Chris: what??? he wagged his tail too much? me: They see this often in labs labradors Chris: it's sad but why am i laughing 10:25 AM me: I know. It can also be called "frozen tail" Chris: i hope that's all it is 10:26 AM he does wag his tail more these days me: so do I. It says that if their anus seems swollen, we need to have the Vet drain his glands. Gross, but not a big deal. Check his anus tonight to see if its swollen Best chat ever 10:27 AM Chris: uh, no he's your dog ha-ha! me: he's totally your dog and you know it Chris: let's ask him 10:28 AM me: I see this conversation. Us talking Baby talk to Hooper: "Is your wittle anus swollen puppy?" Do your glands need a squeezin'?
Yesterday I started a re-organization process of the garage. I’ve decided that it might just be a good idea to rent a storage facility. I think this would force Chris to actually sort through his crap and decide on what he’s keeping and what needs to be donated/trashed. Chris’s mom came out to the garage to “help”. She stood there for a while and then said “I just don’t know where to start”. I told her to start with the laundry area and asked her where she puts her dirty clothes. This was a trick question. See, I already had some idea of what happens to her dirty clothes. I just wanted to see her take on it. She got this totally confused look on her face and she cocked her head to the side and said “dirty clothes?”
Yeah, I knew she didn’t have a designated place for dirty clothes. Clothes get left in little piles here and there. Often she just tosses dirty laundry out into the garage like she setting an animal free in the wild. Her laundry baskets are a mix of dirty, clean, and hangers. The same three t-shirts have been sitting on top of the drier for over a month, neatly folded, covered in dust and cobwebs. As I stood there watching her struggle with the concept of a dirty clothes basket I had an intense moment of clarity.
All of Chris’s habits make perfect sense. I understand why he leaves his socks on the living room floor or his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. It’s because he didn’t have a “wire-hanger” mother and actually, Chris is way better then his mom. When Chris showed up that evening, I told him all of this. He said “See! It’s not my fault!”. I know it’s not his fault and I know he tries. I love that he tries, but most of all I love that he recognizes that putting clothes in the dirty clothes hamper is the right thing to do.
For Memorial Day weekend, Mom, Janell, Amanda (my niece) and I took a trip to Eureka Springs. On MEMORIAL DAY weekend. You would think that this would have been horrible foresight on my part, but it was the only weekend we were all free at the same time. And actually, it wasn’t that bad. We had a really great time, did some shopping (I bought TWO hats!), ate some really good food, rode in a limo. We also did a ghost tour at the Crescent Hotel (as seen on Ghost Hunters). We didn’t “experience” anything, but I did manage to take a few pictures of orbs (aka dust). The only scary part of the tour was when the tour guide made a pass at me. Anyhoo…enjoy the pics!
I really thought last year was my year of the concerts, but this year is turning out to be yet another fantastic concert year. The 2008 concert season began with The Bravery and a ho-hum note. But I followed up that concert with The Police and Elvis Costello. Yeah, you heard me. I said The Police. With Elvis Costello. I never believed in a million years that I'd get to see The Police live twice in my lifetime. The only sour note of the evening was missing the first 30 minutes of Elvis Costello because some jerk wrecked his Camero on the freeway. At least we were there when Sting came out to sing along with Elvis to Allison. Yum!
I used to think Sting was my favorite member of the band, but I've noticed that my tastes have changed over the years (may have something to do with Brand New Day and that lute CD). The percussionist in me gravitates to Stewart Copeland. He's proven himself as not just a trap-set drummer of a punk band, but an experienced percussionist.
Over all, great concert, outside in a laid back setting. I'm still surprised that they've made it together on tour this long and they've stretched out the tour for two years. Could this mean possible new music and a new CD from The Police? Hmmm...very intriguing idea.
Next concert review: Feist in July!
The cemetery where J is buried puts a flag up for each person buried there who have served in the armed forces. They had to add a hundred flag for this year alone. This was my first flag ceremony and it was actually really neat. The kids from the Junior ROTC were in charge of putting up the flags. It was rally cool to see all these teenagers running around, acting goofy, acting like...teenagers. But as soon as they came over to put up a flag, they were all business.
I have serious spring fever and vacationitis. I really have very little to blog about. I'm taking off three days next week and embarking on a mini-vacation, but blogging about that must come later, when something has actually happened to blog about. I know I could be telling all kinds of stories about living with Chris's mom, but it really isn't that bad. It's like living with Ms. Swan. You know; that MAD TV character. The other night she came home from a friends house and I swear to God she was stoned. She's not the alcohol type and we couldn't smell the pot on her. Chris and I have decided that it must have been some funky Thai 'shrooms. She would seriously mumble her words and that along with an even thicker Thai accent made her almost intelligible. Her hair was sticking out all over head like a Troll Doll's. She became obsessed with finding a document for her car after we told her not to worry about it; we'd just request a new one. Chris and I just sat through the rest of the evening translating her random mumblings to each other before she finally toddled off to drunk call someone in Thailand. She probably passed out with the phone stuck to her ear for all we know. It took every thing in me to not say "Woman, you are fucked up. What are you on and why can't you share?". Other then that, living with Chris's mom is kind of like taking care of Grandpa. She comes and goes and eats when and what she wants. We are only needed when some sort of paperwork regarding a bill or insurance shows up that we have to explain to her in a crazy pantomime to be sure she gets it. Then, you're not even really sure she does because her reply is usually some thing like "Yeah, OK". This puts me on alert because I know I'm going to have to regurgitate the information again at any given moment and I don't always have all the information, just parts of it.
It's important to keep your sense of humor in this situation. Occasionally I have to remind myself that there are no hidden cameras or someone hiding behind the couch prepared to jump out and say "Ha! You're on Candid Camera!". Though I will admit to peeking behind the couch a few times just to make sure.
Saturday, my sister Janell graduated from Oklahoma State University with her degree in History. This was a very big deal and here comes the part where Janell's going to go "Ack! Don't tell the internets that!".
Janell was the floater in the family. She married her first husband pretty much right after graduating high school. She worked at a bunch different places, had a baby, got divorced, and got remarried. She put off college. In the mean time she took a basic car mechanics class and learned how to fix her car. She made jewelry and other crafts. She cultured her inherited green thumb and grew a ginormous aloe vera plant and she nurtured various number of ducks and geese in her backyard.
Then Janell decided to go to college. I think we were all a little skeptical at first, but she stuck with it. She worked hard to earn her diploma. Sometimes she worked part time to earn some extra money. She juggled classes and work to be home at the end of the day to pick Amanda up from school. She did not have it easy, but she did it. We couldn't be more proud of her. We all went to graduation and then Mom put together a party at their place afterward. It turned out to be a really nice day. And I can't say it enough. Janell, we are so proud of you!