THANKFUL FRIDAY

Tuesday morning, I hit the snooze button on the alarm four times before finally giving in and shutting the whole thing off. I slept in until 6:30 and considered calling in sick or late or something because I was sleeping so well. But at 6:30, I figured I was awake and decided that I was actually ready to get up. And I ended up not even being late to work. I just hadn't realized how poorly I've been sleeping since the latest poison ivy outbreak. I even managed to get on my yoga mat that evening. In fact this has been a good week for my usual routine. I've been on my mat everyday. I've walked everyday. I've eaten well everyday. I've sat down for an evening meditation practice everyday. I have even felt almost whole everyday. Almost is good enough. I am a prideful person. I always feel like I may be giving up when I give in and ask for help, but I am learning. I am learning to swallow some of that pride. Sometimes that means accepting the fact that I need a pack of Prednisone every now and then. [Side note: my doctor had it in his notes that I was in at almost exactly the same time last year with the same poison ivy problem.] I am thankful for this. I am thankful for the rest and the routine.

Wednesday was an angry day. Everything about that day made me so dang angry. But it wasn't just me having a Hulk moment. Other friends confessed their rage to me thru out the day and at some point the level of irritation became something to laugh at. Our anger grew into something funny. We were no less irritated with the events of the day, but at least we were laughing about it. There's a relief in still being able to find the humor during those times when life just isn't all that great. I am extremely thankful for that.

I'm thankful for those few days (maybe just two) of clear weather so I could ride the scooter. I am thankful for busy work days. I am thankful for the leftover paint in my garage so I can paint the hallway and if I'm going to be honest with you, I'm probably painting that office this weekend too. I am thankful for all the salad I'm going to eat next week because the lettuce in the garden is out of control. And, as always, I am thankful for you.

Here's to a wonderfully Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I spent two hours on my yoga mat on Monday. At one point, I was in a wide-leg forward fold and I put my head on the floor. Then I lifted my legs up into a headstand just like Cirque du Soleil acrobat. I stayed in headstand for a bit before coming back down into wide-leg forward fold. And then I started laughing. The kind of laughing that makes it impossible to really do anything else but laugh. Also, I'd left my Pandora Playlist playing on the TV and there were moments during my practice when I had to take a dance break. The routine looked something like this: sun salutation stepping back right foot, coming back into tadasana, dance break, sun salutation stepping back left foot, coming back into tadasana, dance break. And then there was the laughing. If I had been in a normal classroom, the teacher would have asked me to leave. If I had had a student in my class like this, I would have encouraged the rest of the class to join in. I have never taken my yoga practice seriously. Well...that's not true. I have taken the act of actually stepping on the mat and doing the practice seriously, but not the actual poses. I take care to do the poses in a way that is safe for my body but it is not a practice that makes me set my facial muscles into rigid concentration mode. I am thankful that I have a practice that makes me laugh, not at myself but at the shear act of taking that moment to pretend to be my very own circus act. Well...I have tendency to be a walking circus act even when I'm not on my mat, but I'm thankful for those intentional moments of circus stardom.

Wednesday, Jill sent Jeff into work with a tub of left over Nutella icing just for me. He handed over while I was standing in front of the microwave heating up my lunch. I didn't even wait. I pulled off that lid and dug my spoon in. Jeff looked at me standing there with the container in one hand and a spoonful of icing in my mouth, chocolate on my fingers and said "I think that's the happiest I've seen you in weeks". I grinned a messy toddler worthy grin. Maybe all I needed was some Nutella icing. Forget Vitamins. Maybe I should start my day with icing. I'm thankful that Jill thought to send that tub of icing.

And I'm thankful for you. Happy Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Thursday morning, while I was in the middle of my yoga practice, I thought "wouldn't it be nice to have two hours for my yoga practice instead of just an hour and 20?". I wanted more time on the mat. This was surprising because just the act of getting my butt up and onto the mat these mornings has been a practice unto itself. Getting up at 5:20 AM happens with a grumble and a strong urge to press "snooze". If I didn't get up at 5:20, I would not have an hour and twenty minutes to spare for my yoga practice. And even though there are days when I feel like I want ALL the poses and spend the day on my mat, I am thankful for the time that I do spend in my practice. I'm thankful I have a mat to practice on. There's a lot to be grateful for this week. I'd like to think that I am not one of those people who needs a tragedy to remind them of the things they are grateful for. Trust me. It doesn't take a tornado to remind me that I am thankful for a solid roof over my head. I am thankful for this every day. But I do have framily that live and work in the areas recently hit and I am thankful that they also have a solid roof over their heads and I am thankful that they are all safe. I am thankful for every child that was pulled from the rubble alive. I am thankful for every teacher that did everything in their power to protect their students. I am thankful for the outpouring of help and support that has been sent in that direction.

I am thankful for the lettuce that is coming up in my garden. I am thankful for snippets of time I've had with friends this week. I am thankful for a long weekend. But most importantly, I am thankful for you.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Wednesday night, as I laid on the couch watching TV, my stomach started to feel a little queasy and I got so excited about the prospect of having to stay home with the stomach flu. There's something fundamentally wrong with that way of thinking. But then it dawned on me that this is the week before that week, the one no one likes to mention or discuss above a whisper because we just don't talk about our periods. Oops. I said periods. The week before is always the worst part for me. I get real lethargic and run the gambit of emotions. Thursday I got teary while watching Glee as I walked on the treadmill. It was a complete manic moment where I walked jauntily along to the tunes of Stevie Wonder while wiping off tears of relief that Kirk's Dad is cancer free. I am thankful that Kirk's dad is OK, but I also think I need a vacation. This is what I want for the weekend. I want to go to a yoga class and the City Market. I haven't been to the City Market in ages. I know that at this time of year it will be full of new plants and life and joy and hopefully sunshine. I want to hang clothes on the line and make ghee. I want a day where I don't wear pants or open my mouth to speak. I want to lounge on a blanket outside and color in my creative journal. I want to tie-dye a t-shirt. I want to drink shandy and ride the scooter, but not in that order because it is not safe to drink and drive the scooter or any vehicle. I want a vacation weekend and that's exactly what I am giving myself. I am thankful that I can do all of those things this weekend or none of them if I choose to.

We cannot forget that this weekend is also Mothers' Day weekend. I am so thankful for my mom, but I am also thankful for all of the women in my life that have been a mother-figure to me. Katrina has been mistaken as my mom often enough and she played a large role in helping to raise me into the woman I am today. Simply put, I am thankful for her.

And...I'm thankful for you. Here's to the promise of a beautiful weekend and a truly Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I've been doing this thing a lot lately where I start to panic about what bills to pay when at what payday as well as keeping track of dates of up coming events like Mother's Day, weddings, BlogHer (finally bought my airline ticket), concert(s) and OMG!Ireland. I have nothing written down in one place. That's not true. I still use a budget sheet for the bills, but everything else is scattered here and yonder. My sister's stepson, Christopher, is getting married in a few weeks and I plum forgot to mail in my RSVP, until my sister sent me a text earlier this week.  It's been sitting on my kitchen table for WEEKS! Any way numbers are swirling about in my brain having gang wars these days and I need to get them under control. I bought one of those big desk calendars where you can write on the days. I thought I would do better if I had one place where I had things written down and could physically see what those days would look like financially and socially.  I was really proud of myself for this idea, but when I ripped open the calender, I discovered that the calendar doesn't start until July. So...I'll get my shit together in July. It was a good thing Janell reminded me about that wedding because for some reason I thought it was the same weekend as Mother's Day. I figured two birds, one stone. Turns out that theory is incorrect. The wedding is the weekend AFTER Mother's Day. I can't afford to make two trips to Tulsa in the same month and I started fretting about letting Mom down on Mother's Day. Then I remembered that this is a First Friday weekend. That means art walks and food trucks. It means that the antique markets in West Bottoms are open and as a bonus, the Brookside Art festival is this weekend. These are all things my mom loves. I did not have to twist her arm to get her to come see me this weekend at all. I am thankful that we will have this weekend of things to do and selfishly, I am thankful that I will have this time with Mom without any other obligations, despite the fact that the weather keeps acting like it's mad at us.

This week I have ridden the scooter and slept with the windows open. Wednesday morning, I laid in bed for a few minutes before getting up to start my day, just listening to the birds talk to each other outside. That afternoon I walked outside to take a picture of one of our fountains. It was so warm outside that I had to take off my sweater. And then it all went to poop. It was snowing while I typed this entry. Big snow globe snowflakes. I think it's about time Mother Nature booked herself a stint in the Betty Ford Clinic. I am thankful that I took the time on Wednesday to enjoy the warmth and to be outside.

I am thankful for a package of seeds that came from Suebob (that gets it's own entry). I am thankful for finding creativity when I didn't plan my Thursday meal well (zucchini, mushrooms, tofu and pasta...that's what I had to work with). And I am always thankful for you.

Here's to a great weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This week was one of those weeks where the alarm would go off at the usual 5:20 AM time and my first thought would be "I don't want to get up and do yoga today." I gave into that thought on Tuesday. Wednesdays I go to a class after work, so it was OK to give into that thought. Thursday morning I added excuses to that thought. My hip hurt. My ankle was sore. But then I threw back the covers and got up any way. There is a joy that I find from being on the mat. My Wednesday night yoga teacher always makes a note about the smile on my face as I do my practice. I noticed that this happens every time I get on my yoga mat. Even on those mornings when I think I don't want to be there. I am not just thankful for the practice, though it did make my hip and ankle less achy. I am thankful for the joy that it brings me and the sense of grace and beauty as I move from pose to pose. My days and evenings have been filling up lately. I am busy with work and busy staying on track with my usual routine. And I don't see things slowing down any time soon. For once, I think I'm really OK with this. Part of that is because, even though I'm busy with other things, I am still taking time to maintain my usual routine. I'm still taking that time in the mornings to fill my heart with joy. It's amazing how this makes my days go by easier. Toss in a bit of sunshine and warmer temperatures and I am content.

I am thankful for my scooter ride on Thursday. I am thankful that Salvation Army could come and take away my failed garage sale. I am thankful that I have sold both bicycles. I am thankful for the sprouts I spied in the garden yesterday. I am thankful for the promise of gorgeous weather this weekend. I am thankful for my new pink shirt that's covered in little white elephants. I am thankful that someone (it was Chad) called me skinny this week. And I am super duper, forever grateful for each and everyone of you.

Happy Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Today's Thankful Friday is going to get rambley. There's just a lot to be thankful for this week especially with all that's happened in Boston. I went ahead and signed up to have $10 taken out every month to go to a project at Donors Choose. I usually defer to Talaura as to what project we should help because if we all put our money into the same project and get it funded, we could work on a new project the next month. She said that we should try to find a running or music related project in or around Boston. Since we both feel that music is a great healing tool, we came up with this project. One of the things that has warmed my heart this week is seeing the teacher leave thank you comments to every single person who has donated to her project so far. I am so thankful to those who donated. I didn't want to post too much about this because I'm still fundraising for the AIDS Walk and I don't want to ask for too much. After April I'll get back into the habit of promoting one project a month. But I am so thankful for your support and I'm thankful for the joy and happiness it brings me to do something good.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will." -Patton Oswalt

I thought getting back on the treadmill to run would be difficult after missing a week. I figured that I would need to go back to week one in the program and just start over. The first day back I went ahead with my scheduled Day 2 of Week 2 and it really wasn't a struggle. The only problem I had that day was getting into a good rhythm. I just felt off and not as comfortable, but the next day everything fell into place. As soon as the timer chimed for me to start running, I did so with a smile on my face. I am still surprised that running is something that I want to do and that it's something that brings me joy. I am thankful for this and thankful for the time I've had on my yoga mat every day this week.

Amy arrives tonight and even though we will be busy putting together a garage sale and other things, I am just thankful for the chance to see her face. I have missed her. I want to hear all of her news, all of her stories. I don't think I'd even attempt a garage sale if she wasn't willing to do this with me. We've been promised sunshine on Saturday, something I haven't seen all week. I am thankful for this rain but I am sure looking forward to some sun.

Thankful, thankful, thankful for all of it. Here's to a hopeful weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

On Monday, I had my visit with the breast surgeon. She decided that it would be best to try to aspirate fluid from the cysts and maybe take some tissue for biopsy. I have been loathe to write about any of it because I have family that will read this and start freaking out and screaming and gnashing teeth and I'd have to be all "calm the fuck down people!". So I've been sitting here with this secret worry all week waiting until I had answers before saying anything. Having a needle and something about the size of an ice pick that sucks out a "core sample" shoved into your boob is pretty fucking scary. I wasn't too worried because I'm really healthy (perfect vital signs) and there's no history of breast cancer in my family. Tissue samples more often than not come back normal and the odds are in my favor. This was confirmed Wednesday, when the doctor called to tell me everything came back "normal" and I was just fine. I felt everyone release that breath they'd been holding for the last three days. The down side is that this type of procedure is not without pain. I'm pretty dang sore. There's been no yoga, no running all week. I walked Wednesday on the treadmill and made it about 15 minutes before my left side started to throb. I pushed through because I felt like I needed to move, but it left me achy for the rest of the day. But each day I get up a little easier, so I know it's healing. I am thankful today for my health. I am thankful for cysts just being cysts. I am thankful that everyday, I hurt a little less and that I'll be pretty close to normal by next week. Every evening I've felt a little guilty for just being still on the couch, but then I'll do something as simple as sneeze and I am reminded of why I need to be still on the couch (yes...it hurts to sneeze...or laugh). I am thankful of these reminders to slow down and to have patience with myself.

Other things to be thankful for? I finally got around to ordering seeds and last week I turned the soil in the raised beds. With each shovel of dirt turned, I saw at least two handfuls of worms. I'm ready to put those seeds into the ground. I am thankful the weather has finally turned into a direction where I can do that. I am thankful for a weekend that will be a blend of chores and fun. I am thankful for the haircut I have scheduled on Saturday because I'm this close to taking scissors to my own hair (we all know that's a bad idea). And You know what? I am particularly thankful for all of you guys today. Here's to an excellent weekend and a perfect Thankful Friday!

*P.S. Don't forget! I have two weeks left to raise money for the AIDS Walk KCMO. Any thing you give is SOOOOOO appreciated, you have no idea.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

After two hours of mammograms, ultrasounds and more mammograms, the doctor decided that he was 98% sure that everything was fine. To clear up that 2%, I'm seeing a breast surgeon on Monday. The doctor today said that he wanted a breast surgeon to feel the area because their fingers are more sensitive to these things. Basically, what he told me was that breast surgeons are better at feeling up a girl. Girls, you know how mothers always nag their daughter about marrying a doctor? They mean marry a breast surgeon. I am thankful for that 98%. I am also thankful for everyone at the clinic today. All of the technicians were nice and good at their job and the doctor only looked intimidating. My first reaction to having to get these tests was to panic. Really the scary part is the unknown. I'm not scared of cancer. Fuck that shit. Yeah.. I said FUCK THAT SHIT. Once the panic wore off, I was just annoyed. I have plans. I have things I'm doing. I am going to run a 5K in June. I'm gonna. I don't have time to be sick or bother with the mess that is cancer. I am finally at a place in my life where I feel healthy and good. I put good for me foods in my belly every day and it brings me joy to eat this stuff. I am truly thankful for my health.

What else? I've aired up the scooter tires. The weather is beautiful here. Those two things add up to me riding the scooter to work. Oh, the joy. I am so thankful for that. I'm thankful for the sun and the return of warmth. I am thankful for a good week. And I am always thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

*P.S. Guys I'm so close to reaching my AIDS Walk Goal! Please do what you can! Thank you!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

It was always my brother Randy's job to hide the Easter eggs for us when Janell and I were little. It was my favorite thing especially if the weather was nice and he could hide the eggs outside. There were so many good egg hiding places in our yard that it really did make it a hunt to find the eggs. I loved it. I can remember begging him to hide the eggs again and again and he always did it. Today is Randy's birthday. I don't beg him to do things for me any more. In fact, I rarely even ask. But when I do ask him to do something, he always does. Always. You would think that our age difference would be a strain on our relationship, but it never has. I've always thought that if I were to do a StoryCorp project, I would interview my brother. I'd ask him about the time before I came along and what it was like to be sixteen and have your parents bring home a new baby. I am thankful for his willingness to be there when I need him, but I'm more thankful for just his general presence in my life.

What else? This week has been an odd one. I thought Tuesday was Monday. Wednesday I said something about having lunch for tomorrow and Thursday. Apparently I didn't realize Wednesday was Wednesday. I thought for sure Thursday was Friday and mildly disappointed to realize it wasn't. But despite all of this I managed to get on my yoga mat every day except one. This is something that I can really be thankful for because I'm pretty sure I'd be walking around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame without it. This week I also discovered that my rice cooker has a delay start button. I put all of the makings for kitchari into the rice cooker, including a steamer basket full of greens and it was all cooked and ready by the time I got home. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about that little discovery.

I am thankful for the promise of Spring like weather this weekend. I am thankful for Jeff who will come fix my gutter (I've been prying my garage door open every morning with a crowbar because it keeps freezing shut). I am thankful for good things that have happened to good friends this week. And I am thankful for you.

Here's to a perfectly pleasant weekend and a very Thankful Friday! Wait...it is Friday right?

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Wednesday was the official first day of Spring. Thursday it snowed. The weather forecast for this weekend is predicted to be cold with scattered snow/rain showers. Part of me want's to throw a right good fall down on the floor tantrum. The other part of me (the OCD side) knows that this is the perfect time to scrub my house and sort through some things in the basement. I have ants in my bathroom and it's just a matter of time before they figure out that the kitchen has better tasting counter tops. So I will venture out for groceries and cleaning supplies and maybe a trip out to dump off some books at Half Price Books, but the rest of the weekend will be spent dusting, mopping and sorting. I am thankful that I have this weekend to myself even if the weather is not ideal. This is my lull time before the next wave of activities and my chance to re-group. It's Spring and I'm going to Spring Clean. Though I've enjoyed all the activity of the last three weekends, it has wrecked havoc on my usual routine. I think this week it finally caught up with me. I've been sluggish, the yoga mat has been neglected and there has been nothing creatively journaled. I also know that all of this is OK. A few years ago it would have messed me up. I am thankful that I'm learning to bend and give within my adherence to a routine. This has not been an easy lesson for me to learn. Giving myself time to rest and recover is good for my health, but it also makes me appreciate the other things even more. Misti would say "ebb and flow". I am thankful for the ebb and flow.

I am thankful for the time I had with Amanda and Janell. I am thankful for a surprise visit from Dad. I am thankful for warm bowls of potato soup and salads sprinkled with goat cheese. And I am always thankful for you. Here's to a productive weekend and a truly thankful Friday.

*Don't forget! I am raising money for the AIDS Walk KCMO. You can get to my fundraising page at the top of the screen or through the link on the right hand side of the page. Thank you!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

You know how I have a hard time asking for help? Well...I knew that if I wanted my table out of my car and into my house, I was going to have to ask for help. So I did. Just like that. Jeff came over and moved my old table outside and put my new one in it's place. I was pretty sure I'd have to take the top off the old table to get it out, but Jeff just picked that sucker up and plunked it outside. Bloop. Just like that. I don't know who was more impressed, Jeff because I actually asked for help or me because I didn't have to do anything but hold a door open. I am thankful for his help. Also...I love my new table. This week, I've hated all of my clothes. Everything I've put on has made me angry. Thursday's outfit was the worst of them all. My jeans kept falling down and my t-shirt and tank top layer kept riding up. I was tugging my clothes all day and don't even get me started on my underwear (these looked so cute on my butt, but ride up into everything while doing yoga). I am tired of my winter clothes, the heavy shoes and socks. I sat at my new table yesterday morning eating breakfast and looking around at all my things and wondering how much of it I could get rid of. The basement is full of things that have been down there since we moved in three years ago. If it's still down there, I don't need it. I think it's called Spring Fever and I have a serious case of it. Spring is just days away. I heard a song bird this morning singing a song I'd never heard before. I noticed green shoots, the beginnings of tulips, coming up in the flower beds at work the other day. I am thankful for the promise of Spring.

I am thankful for you.

Here's to a wonderful Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Today is my Dad's birthday. Today is also my sister's birthday. For as long as I can remember Dad has always introduced Janell as "the surprise" or "MY baby". I've always been "the shock" or "the baby". Dad got Janell for his birthday. That's a pretty awesome surprise (I think). Dad has reached that point in his life where he not quite as sharp as a tack, more like a rusty nail. But he's still chugging along. Last week he called to tell me that he was driving to Seaside OR. He asked me about the snow and told me that my chicken coop has gone on sale at Atwood's. I am worried about him these days, but I am thankful that he's doing so well. Things could be worse. I'm thankful that Dad still has the mindset that he can do anything and that he's always willing to help. He offered to help shovel snow which was sweet and there's no way in a million years I would have let him. We are sending him to see Willie Nelson for his birthday. Janell has mentioned that she is not turning a year older. She has tried to pooh-pooh away the idea of her birthday. Well I say pooh-pooh to that. She is the child at heart, free spirited big sister that she's always been. She's just gained another year of experience. I will never forget the time she took me to Saks at Utica Square to try on outrageous prom dresses. The sales clerks set us up in a dressing room the size of my bedroom and gave us Champaign flutes of Sprite. We had so much fun trying on dresses that cost more than my car. I never would have had the guts to even think of stepping into Saks. Janell taught me to be fearless that day. I am thankful for the reminder she gives me to play and let go.

I am more than grateful for the sunshine. I am humbled by the thank you cards that have been sent to me by hopeful future scientists. They warm my heart. I am thankful for this full week and I'm so ever thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend of melting snow and a very thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I am currently in the process of figuring out some details on on Donors Choose. My plan is to post a project a month and see what we can do to get that project funded. But guys...this is a cooperative thing. You see a project on that website that you want funded, you need to let me know. Send me the link and I'll feature it as that month's project. This way we can all work together to make more awesome stuff happen. Right off the bat though, I have to say thank you to all of you. It wasn't even lunch time yet and you had the project funded. BOOM and BAM! I was stunned and seriously teary all morning. It just made my heart fill up with so much joy and I just wanted more. I just wanted to do more. Guys, we need to do more! So...give me the weekend to figure some things out. In the meantime, send me project links to choose from. I came home from work Wednesday 99.9% sure I would not be able to get my car up the driveway. It snowed all day that day and the snowplows hadn't made their second pass of my street by the time I left that morning. I just knew I'd be coming home to a mountain of snow blocking the drive. Dreaded it. Grumbled about it. But guess what? My driveway was clear when I got home! No shoveling required. I don't think any of you know just how thankful I was to find a cleared driveway.

So much to be thankful for this Friday. I feel like I've spent the last day and a half talking in all caps and exclamation points. Saturday is the KCMO AIDS Walk Open, a mini golf pub crawl to benefit the KCMO AIDS Walk. I think it's still on and I think I'm on a team (Xander! What time and where do I need to be?!?!). Sunday is brunch with a new gal pal and then we start a whole new week. Hopefully snow free. I'm giddy with all that's coming in March. This is the month that gets the ball rolling into Spring, rolling into all kinds of great and wonderful things.

Here's the grandest of weekends and a truly Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

They started talking about the snowstorm on Sunday around here. The warned us to be prepared for Thursday. I kind of listened to the warnings in the same way I listen to the tornado warnings, with half an ear (so much for active listening). By Wednesday I had decided that it just might be worth the effort to get my car in the garage. I bought a grill cover, dragged the lawnmower outside and folded the handle down. The grill cover fit perfectly. I moved the scooter to where the lawnmower used to be and now the car fits snuggly (and I mean snuggly...it's going to be entertaining to watch me open the garage door) into the garage. I still wasn't convinced that anything would happen and decided to treat Thursday like any other day. I got up, showered and dressed. I peaked out the window just before getting onto my yoga mat. All was clear, no snow. But by the time I'd finished meditation and started cooking breakfast there was a dusting of white on the ground and it looked like it was just going to get worse. Sure enough, by the time I'd finished breakfast, visibility was nil and I couldn't see my street. I declared it a snow day. And boy howdy was it ever a snow day. I don't think I've ever seen so much snow. By 11:00 AM, we had 10 and half inches of snow on the ground.

So, I spent the day on the couch watching Hulu and chatting online with people. I taught myself how do to the Lindy Hop via YouTube. But mostly I spent it on the couch and I'm not going to feel guilty for that. Instead, I'm going to be grateful. I'm so thankful that I got the car in the garage and that I bought a new snow shovel. I am thankful that I plan my meals out weekly and had food in my house. I am thankful for a forced day of nothing.

Here's to a winter wonderland of a Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I am not Catholic or even remotely religious, but occasionally I decide that I should give up something for Lent. I've gone without sodas and candy and swearing. Soda and candy were really not that difficult for me to go with out for 40 days, but swearing, damn, that one was tough. This year I spent a lot of time thinking of things to give up for Lent. I wanted it to be something meaningful and important. I thought about wearing the Complaint Free bracelet for 40 days or giving up self sabotage (Beastie Boys now rapping in my head). Wednesday I was still undecided and figured I'd just skip it again this year. But then I thought "why give up something?" What if I added something to my life every day for 40 days? I came up with two things. The first one was inspired by my friend Jeff. The other day he was standing at my desk and we were talking and he said something to me just as my squirrel brain started thinking about these yoga pants I wanted to buy. I didn't hear a word of what he said and he knew it because he looked at me and said "you didn't hear a word of what I just said, did you?". And I felt bad. Like really bad. This is not the first time for this to happen. In fact, I'm pretty sure I do it A LOT. That's just yucky. So for the next 40 days, I'm adding being an active listener to my list of things that I do. I've already messed up on this once at lunch yesterday. I heard "Kim Kardashian" before I was totally distracted by a plane flying by and went all Tatoo on everyone. Active listening is hard.

The second thing for Lent is to set aside at least 30 minutes every day for some creative journaling. Way back when, I was a creative person. I could draw and blend colors. I could form complete sentences for that matter. These days, not so much. I've lost my creative mojo, but I recognize that creativity is a practice just like playing the piano or yoga. I have a fresh notebook and a brand new carton of colored pencils and I need to use them. There may be days when all I do is draw crazy random doodles all over a page but that's still better than just staring a blank white page (or screen...been doing quite a bit of that lately).

So, this Friday, I am thankful for Lent. I am thankful for the time of reflection and awareness that has kind of been missing in my daily life these days. I am thankful for a lunch date that I had with a new friend this week. I am thankful for friends who will eat seafood jambalaya and make King Cakes. I am thankful for a full week and the full weekend to come. And of course, I am thankful for you.

Here's to a lovely weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I laughed at every comment left on yesterday's entry. For every story, I could see Chris talking. I could hear his voice. Todd, I remember that New Orleans trip well. Suebob, you may not have known Chris, but you knew enough to share a story that contained two of his favorite things: Apple and sex. Sunday will be one year. "Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes." That is why Love Thursday's entry was so important to me. How do you measure a year? How do you measure a life? The song says that it is measured with love, but I say it is measured with both love and laughter. One of the things all of us loved the most about Chris, was the way he could make us laugh. So we honor that love with laughter. I am thankful for every single story. It was a goal for me when all of this started, to always remember to laugh. Chris made me laugh every day. EVERY DAY. He rarely ever made me cry. This is something I will not forget. Chris taught me that life is funny and it is. Oh dear me...this life is hilarious! I am thankful for his teachings and for showing me that even under the most dire circumstances there is a reason to laugh. This is a gift we all should remember and hold onto. Someone was telling me recently about the Knock Out Game. It's a game bored teens invented and involves punching random people. I am amazed at the ways people can sit around and come up with new ways to hurt each other. Why not come up with new ways to make each other laugh in a non-violent way?

I am thankful for all of you and your hilarious memories. Here's to a laugh out loud weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Thursday morning, as I stepped onto my yoga mat, I thought "hey! I think I should work on headstand!". I say "work on" because I never intended to actually go into a headstand. Headstands are tricky and require way more core work than most people really consider. The idea is to lift up through the core and the shoulder so that there's not much weight on the head. This is why I usually practice headstand at a wall. Also, I'm afraid of falling over and whacking my legs on something or scrunching my neck and paralyzing myself. My shoulders are strong enough to lift the weight off my head if I let the wall support my legs. I don't really have a good wall space in the office where I practice yoga, so I haven't really practiced headstand in a while. I thought my practice would be best served if I just worked on core things and headstand prep. With the top of my head resting on a blanket and my forearms pressed into the mat, I used my core muscles to hop up and down with one foot and then I went into headstand. Bloop. Just like that I was doing a headstand. No wall. No safety net. Me in a pain-free headstand. I didn't stay up there for five minutes, but I did stay put for five calm, even breaths. Then I came down and said to know one but me "Holy crap! Did you see what I just did!??!". No, but seriously. Did you see what I just did? Because it's not about the headstand or how long I stayed in headstand. I never believed that I had the strength to get into a proper headstand without hurting myself. I had two things working against me to get into this pose: fear and lack of faith. I was terrified of hurting myself. I'd done it before. I came into headstand to fast once, lost my balance and flipped over. I had crick in my neck for days after and a giant bruise near my ankle where I hit the corner of some bookshelves. I decided then that I would never be able to do an unsupported headstand. I would never have the right strength to do it, despite all of the core strength training I've been incorporating in my practice. I lacked the faith in myself to have the ability to build the strength to do this pose and I lacked the faith that I could execute this pose on my own. I always needed that safety net of the wall.

"Conquering one's greatest fears often enhances one's evolution." That comes from The Essence of Yoga in the passage for Yoga Sutra II.4. It's a passage I had just read a few days earlier. I remember thinking at the time that this was a good quote, but it wasn't in my head when I decided to include headstand in Thursday's practice. But, Wow! What an empowering message. I am thankful for conquering that particular fear, but I'm more thankful for the found faith in myself.

I continue to be thankful for my food (guys, I've lost the ability to peel off my lips). I am thankful for the daily reminders of the joy present in my life. And I am thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend and a very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This was a short work week for me, yet it felt like it somehow managed to squeeze in an extra day of work. It did not feel short, but it was not bad. I didn't blow up anything or set anything on fire. I call this a good week of science. I am thankful for this. I have been eating crazy clean and healthy meals lately. It's not because I'm on any kind of special cleansing diet. It's because I've wanted to eat this way. In fact, if I didn't insist on Wednesday pizza night, I'd be eating a mostly vegan diet. The skills I acquired over the weekend have made things even better and I've been incorporating new flavors and oils into my dinners that have made me ecstatically happy. I feel good and satisfied. It makes me want to pat myself on the back and say "Good job, Cindy." I am thankful for my food. This also marks week two of getting onto my yoga mat every day. I finally gave up the idea of doing my practice when I got home from work. I am a morning person. My day starts at 5:20 AM and by 5:20 PM, I'm done. So I rearranged some things. My day still starts at 5:20, but now my morning includes an hour of yoga and twenty minutes of meditation. I get to work an hour later than I used to but now I'm showing up when everybody else is. Normal times. The change has been really good and something to be very thankful for.

My food choices have fulled the need for clean. It's inspired me to tackle the garage. It's time to take glass and cardboard to recycling. And I think if tidy up the garage I just may be able to fit my car in there. I'll need to take some measurements and this may be a case of wishful thinking, but it sure would be nice to have my car inside. Because I don't know what it's like in your neck of the woods, but here it's COLD. I mean crazy stupid cold. My car has a safety feature that does not allow me to start my car and lock it. To warm up my car, I have to sit in it and it's like sitting in my refrigerator. This does not create healthy feelings within me and in fact makes me very grumbly. Not a good way to start a day. So I'm thankful that I have the time and resources this weekend to make an attempt to do something about it.

It's a good week to be thankful. I'm thankful for kind words. I am thankful for the moments this week that have made me laugh out loud. And as always, I am thankful for you. Here's to a productive weekend and a super Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I met Father Jacob during my visit to Atlanta. He's the priest that performed Chad and Jess's marriage ceremony. I only had a brief encounter with the man. Enough of an encounter to give me a glimpse of this quirky, cooky, little man. What caught my attention the most were the photos he had hanging on the wall near his office. They were various photos of people he'd encountered and helped through the Loaves and Fishes program at his church. All of the faces looked so happy, so full of love. Father Jacob passed away this week. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to meet him. You know, before Chris died and my trip to Atlanta, Chad was just a brief encounter? We'd only seen each other in the flesh that one time when Chad drove through OKC and met us for dinner. He was just some (possible crazy, definitely weird) dude we knew from Flickr. Now I consider him and Jess to be family. Suebob? I hung out with her one evening at BlogHer. I've seen her in real life twice, but I know I love that woman. How could you not? She's so awesome and welcoming. I've met some pretty amazing and wonderful people from brief encounters. Brief encounters can be scary and I think our first instinct is to guard our hearts, shut them down a bit. But I've learned over the years that going into those moments with an open heart/open mind lets in some pretty spectacular people. I am thankful for every single one.

I am thankful for my re-connection with my yoga mat. I am thankful for the sunlight that was streaming through the window when I opened my eyes from meditation this morning. I am thankful for the escape I have planned for this weekend. And I am always, always thankful for you. Here's to a perfect weekend and very Thankful Friday.