THANKFUL FRIDAY

After two hours of mammograms, ultrasounds and more mammograms, the doctor decided that he was 98% sure that everything was fine. To clear up that 2%, I'm seeing a breast surgeon on Monday. The doctor today said that he wanted a breast surgeon to feel the area because their fingers are more sensitive to these things. Basically, what he told me was that breast surgeons are better at feeling up a girl. Girls, you know how mothers always nag their daughter about marrying a doctor? They mean marry a breast surgeon. I am thankful for that 98%. I am also thankful for everyone at the clinic today. All of the technicians were nice and good at their job and the doctor only looked intimidating. My first reaction to having to get these tests was to panic. Really the scary part is the unknown. I'm not scared of cancer. Fuck that shit. Yeah.. I said FUCK THAT SHIT. Once the panic wore off, I was just annoyed. I have plans. I have things I'm doing. I am going to run a 5K in June. I'm gonna. I don't have time to be sick or bother with the mess that is cancer. I am finally at a place in my life where I feel healthy and good. I put good for me foods in my belly every day and it brings me joy to eat this stuff. I am truly thankful for my health.

What else? I've aired up the scooter tires. The weather is beautiful here. Those two things add up to me riding the scooter to work. Oh, the joy. I am so thankful for that. I'm thankful for the sun and the return of warmth. I am thankful for a good week. And I am always thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

*P.S. Guys I'm so close to reaching my AIDS Walk Goal! Please do what you can! Thank you!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

It was always my brother Randy's job to hide the Easter eggs for us when Janell and I were little. It was my favorite thing especially if the weather was nice and he could hide the eggs outside. There were so many good egg hiding places in our yard that it really did make it a hunt to find the eggs. I loved it. I can remember begging him to hide the eggs again and again and he always did it. Today is Randy's birthday. I don't beg him to do things for me any more. In fact, I rarely even ask. But when I do ask him to do something, he always does. Always. You would think that our age difference would be a strain on our relationship, but it never has. I've always thought that if I were to do a StoryCorp project, I would interview my brother. I'd ask him about the time before I came along and what it was like to be sixteen and have your parents bring home a new baby. I am thankful for his willingness to be there when I need him, but I'm more thankful for just his general presence in my life.

What else? This week has been an odd one. I thought Tuesday was Monday. Wednesday I said something about having lunch for tomorrow and Thursday. Apparently I didn't realize Wednesday was Wednesday. I thought for sure Thursday was Friday and mildly disappointed to realize it wasn't. But despite all of this I managed to get on my yoga mat every day except one. This is something that I can really be thankful for because I'm pretty sure I'd be walking around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame without it. This week I also discovered that my rice cooker has a delay start button. I put all of the makings for kitchari into the rice cooker, including a steamer basket full of greens and it was all cooked and ready by the time I got home. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about that little discovery.

I am thankful for the promise of Spring like weather this weekend. I am thankful for Jeff who will come fix my gutter (I've been prying my garage door open every morning with a crowbar because it keeps freezing shut). I am thankful for good things that have happened to good friends this week. And I am thankful for you.

Here's to a perfectly pleasant weekend and a very Thankful Friday! Wait...it is Friday right?

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Wednesday was the official first day of Spring. Thursday it snowed. The weather forecast for this weekend is predicted to be cold with scattered snow/rain showers. Part of me want's to throw a right good fall down on the floor tantrum. The other part of me (the OCD side) knows that this is the perfect time to scrub my house and sort through some things in the basement. I have ants in my bathroom and it's just a matter of time before they figure out that the kitchen has better tasting counter tops. So I will venture out for groceries and cleaning supplies and maybe a trip out to dump off some books at Half Price Books, but the rest of the weekend will be spent dusting, mopping and sorting. I am thankful that I have this weekend to myself even if the weather is not ideal. This is my lull time before the next wave of activities and my chance to re-group. It's Spring and I'm going to Spring Clean. Though I've enjoyed all the activity of the last three weekends, it has wrecked havoc on my usual routine. I think this week it finally caught up with me. I've been sluggish, the yoga mat has been neglected and there has been nothing creatively journaled. I also know that all of this is OK. A few years ago it would have messed me up. I am thankful that I'm learning to bend and give within my adherence to a routine. This has not been an easy lesson for me to learn. Giving myself time to rest and recover is good for my health, but it also makes me appreciate the other things even more. Misti would say "ebb and flow". I am thankful for the ebb and flow.

I am thankful for the time I had with Amanda and Janell. I am thankful for a surprise visit from Dad. I am thankful for warm bowls of potato soup and salads sprinkled with goat cheese. And I am always thankful for you. Here's to a productive weekend and a truly thankful Friday.

*Don't forget! I am raising money for the AIDS Walk KCMO. You can get to my fundraising page at the top of the screen or through the link on the right hand side of the page. Thank you!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

You know how I have a hard time asking for help? Well...I knew that if I wanted my table out of my car and into my house, I was going to have to ask for help. So I did. Just like that. Jeff came over and moved my old table outside and put my new one in it's place. I was pretty sure I'd have to take the top off the old table to get it out, but Jeff just picked that sucker up and plunked it outside. Bloop. Just like that. I don't know who was more impressed, Jeff because I actually asked for help or me because I didn't have to do anything but hold a door open. I am thankful for his help. Also...I love my new table. This week, I've hated all of my clothes. Everything I've put on has made me angry. Thursday's outfit was the worst of them all. My jeans kept falling down and my t-shirt and tank top layer kept riding up. I was tugging my clothes all day and don't even get me started on my underwear (these looked so cute on my butt, but ride up into everything while doing yoga). I am tired of my winter clothes, the heavy shoes and socks. I sat at my new table yesterday morning eating breakfast and looking around at all my things and wondering how much of it I could get rid of. The basement is full of things that have been down there since we moved in three years ago. If it's still down there, I don't need it. I think it's called Spring Fever and I have a serious case of it. Spring is just days away. I heard a song bird this morning singing a song I'd never heard before. I noticed green shoots, the beginnings of tulips, coming up in the flower beds at work the other day. I am thankful for the promise of Spring.

I am thankful for you.

Here's to a wonderful Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Today is my Dad's birthday. Today is also my sister's birthday. For as long as I can remember Dad has always introduced Janell as "the surprise" or "MY baby". I've always been "the shock" or "the baby". Dad got Janell for his birthday. That's a pretty awesome surprise (I think). Dad has reached that point in his life where he not quite as sharp as a tack, more like a rusty nail. But he's still chugging along. Last week he called to tell me that he was driving to Seaside OR. He asked me about the snow and told me that my chicken coop has gone on sale at Atwood's. I am worried about him these days, but I am thankful that he's doing so well. Things could be worse. I'm thankful that Dad still has the mindset that he can do anything and that he's always willing to help. He offered to help shovel snow which was sweet and there's no way in a million years I would have let him. We are sending him to see Willie Nelson for his birthday. Janell has mentioned that she is not turning a year older. She has tried to pooh-pooh away the idea of her birthday. Well I say pooh-pooh to that. She is the child at heart, free spirited big sister that she's always been. She's just gained another year of experience. I will never forget the time she took me to Saks at Utica Square to try on outrageous prom dresses. The sales clerks set us up in a dressing room the size of my bedroom and gave us Champaign flutes of Sprite. We had so much fun trying on dresses that cost more than my car. I never would have had the guts to even think of stepping into Saks. Janell taught me to be fearless that day. I am thankful for the reminder she gives me to play and let go.

I am more than grateful for the sunshine. I am humbled by the thank you cards that have been sent to me by hopeful future scientists. They warm my heart. I am thankful for this full week and I'm so ever thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend of melting snow and a very thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I am currently in the process of figuring out some details on on Donors Choose. My plan is to post a project a month and see what we can do to get that project funded. But guys...this is a cooperative thing. You see a project on that website that you want funded, you need to let me know. Send me the link and I'll feature it as that month's project. This way we can all work together to make more awesome stuff happen. Right off the bat though, I have to say thank you to all of you. It wasn't even lunch time yet and you had the project funded. BOOM and BAM! I was stunned and seriously teary all morning. It just made my heart fill up with so much joy and I just wanted more. I just wanted to do more. Guys, we need to do more! So...give me the weekend to figure some things out. In the meantime, send me project links to choose from. I came home from work Wednesday 99.9% sure I would not be able to get my car up the driveway. It snowed all day that day and the snowplows hadn't made their second pass of my street by the time I left that morning. I just knew I'd be coming home to a mountain of snow blocking the drive. Dreaded it. Grumbled about it. But guess what? My driveway was clear when I got home! No shoveling required. I don't think any of you know just how thankful I was to find a cleared driveway.

So much to be thankful for this Friday. I feel like I've spent the last day and a half talking in all caps and exclamation points. Saturday is the KCMO AIDS Walk Open, a mini golf pub crawl to benefit the KCMO AIDS Walk. I think it's still on and I think I'm on a team (Xander! What time and where do I need to be?!?!). Sunday is brunch with a new gal pal and then we start a whole new week. Hopefully snow free. I'm giddy with all that's coming in March. This is the month that gets the ball rolling into Spring, rolling into all kinds of great and wonderful things.

Here's the grandest of weekends and a truly Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

They started talking about the snowstorm on Sunday around here. The warned us to be prepared for Thursday. I kind of listened to the warnings in the same way I listen to the tornado warnings, with half an ear (so much for active listening). By Wednesday I had decided that it just might be worth the effort to get my car in the garage. I bought a grill cover, dragged the lawnmower outside and folded the handle down. The grill cover fit perfectly. I moved the scooter to where the lawnmower used to be and now the car fits snuggly (and I mean snuggly...it's going to be entertaining to watch me open the garage door) into the garage. I still wasn't convinced that anything would happen and decided to treat Thursday like any other day. I got up, showered and dressed. I peaked out the window just before getting onto my yoga mat. All was clear, no snow. But by the time I'd finished meditation and started cooking breakfast there was a dusting of white on the ground and it looked like it was just going to get worse. Sure enough, by the time I'd finished breakfast, visibility was nil and I couldn't see my street. I declared it a snow day. And boy howdy was it ever a snow day. I don't think I've ever seen so much snow. By 11:00 AM, we had 10 and half inches of snow on the ground.

So, I spent the day on the couch watching Hulu and chatting online with people. I taught myself how do to the Lindy Hop via YouTube. But mostly I spent it on the couch and I'm not going to feel guilty for that. Instead, I'm going to be grateful. I'm so thankful that I got the car in the garage and that I bought a new snow shovel. I am thankful that I plan my meals out weekly and had food in my house. I am thankful for a forced day of nothing.

Here's to a winter wonderland of a Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I am not Catholic or even remotely religious, but occasionally I decide that I should give up something for Lent. I've gone without sodas and candy and swearing. Soda and candy were really not that difficult for me to go with out for 40 days, but swearing, damn, that one was tough. This year I spent a lot of time thinking of things to give up for Lent. I wanted it to be something meaningful and important. I thought about wearing the Complaint Free bracelet for 40 days or giving up self sabotage (Beastie Boys now rapping in my head). Wednesday I was still undecided and figured I'd just skip it again this year. But then I thought "why give up something?" What if I added something to my life every day for 40 days? I came up with two things. The first one was inspired by my friend Jeff. The other day he was standing at my desk and we were talking and he said something to me just as my squirrel brain started thinking about these yoga pants I wanted to buy. I didn't hear a word of what he said and he knew it because he looked at me and said "you didn't hear a word of what I just said, did you?". And I felt bad. Like really bad. This is not the first time for this to happen. In fact, I'm pretty sure I do it A LOT. That's just yucky. So for the next 40 days, I'm adding being an active listener to my list of things that I do. I've already messed up on this once at lunch yesterday. I heard "Kim Kardashian" before I was totally distracted by a plane flying by and went all Tatoo on everyone. Active listening is hard.

The second thing for Lent is to set aside at least 30 minutes every day for some creative journaling. Way back when, I was a creative person. I could draw and blend colors. I could form complete sentences for that matter. These days, not so much. I've lost my creative mojo, but I recognize that creativity is a practice just like playing the piano or yoga. I have a fresh notebook and a brand new carton of colored pencils and I need to use them. There may be days when all I do is draw crazy random doodles all over a page but that's still better than just staring a blank white page (or screen...been doing quite a bit of that lately).

So, this Friday, I am thankful for Lent. I am thankful for the time of reflection and awareness that has kind of been missing in my daily life these days. I am thankful for a lunch date that I had with a new friend this week. I am thankful for friends who will eat seafood jambalaya and make King Cakes. I am thankful for a full week and the full weekend to come. And of course, I am thankful for you.

Here's to a lovely weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I laughed at every comment left on yesterday's entry. For every story, I could see Chris talking. I could hear his voice. Todd, I remember that New Orleans trip well. Suebob, you may not have known Chris, but you knew enough to share a story that contained two of his favorite things: Apple and sex. Sunday will be one year. "Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes." That is why Love Thursday's entry was so important to me. How do you measure a year? How do you measure a life? The song says that it is measured with love, but I say it is measured with both love and laughter. One of the things all of us loved the most about Chris, was the way he could make us laugh. So we honor that love with laughter. I am thankful for every single story. It was a goal for me when all of this started, to always remember to laugh. Chris made me laugh every day. EVERY DAY. He rarely ever made me cry. This is something I will not forget. Chris taught me that life is funny and it is. Oh dear me...this life is hilarious! I am thankful for his teachings and for showing me that even under the most dire circumstances there is a reason to laugh. This is a gift we all should remember and hold onto. Someone was telling me recently about the Knock Out Game. It's a game bored teens invented and involves punching random people. I am amazed at the ways people can sit around and come up with new ways to hurt each other. Why not come up with new ways to make each other laugh in a non-violent way?

I am thankful for all of you and your hilarious memories. Here's to a laugh out loud weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Thursday morning, as I stepped onto my yoga mat, I thought "hey! I think I should work on headstand!". I say "work on" because I never intended to actually go into a headstand. Headstands are tricky and require way more core work than most people really consider. The idea is to lift up through the core and the shoulder so that there's not much weight on the head. This is why I usually practice headstand at a wall. Also, I'm afraid of falling over and whacking my legs on something or scrunching my neck and paralyzing myself. My shoulders are strong enough to lift the weight off my head if I let the wall support my legs. I don't really have a good wall space in the office where I practice yoga, so I haven't really practiced headstand in a while. I thought my practice would be best served if I just worked on core things and headstand prep. With the top of my head resting on a blanket and my forearms pressed into the mat, I used my core muscles to hop up and down with one foot and then I went into headstand. Bloop. Just like that I was doing a headstand. No wall. No safety net. Me in a pain-free headstand. I didn't stay up there for five minutes, but I did stay put for five calm, even breaths. Then I came down and said to know one but me "Holy crap! Did you see what I just did!??!". No, but seriously. Did you see what I just did? Because it's not about the headstand or how long I stayed in headstand. I never believed that I had the strength to get into a proper headstand without hurting myself. I had two things working against me to get into this pose: fear and lack of faith. I was terrified of hurting myself. I'd done it before. I came into headstand to fast once, lost my balance and flipped over. I had crick in my neck for days after and a giant bruise near my ankle where I hit the corner of some bookshelves. I decided then that I would never be able to do an unsupported headstand. I would never have the right strength to do it, despite all of the core strength training I've been incorporating in my practice. I lacked the faith in myself to have the ability to build the strength to do this pose and I lacked the faith that I could execute this pose on my own. I always needed that safety net of the wall.

"Conquering one's greatest fears often enhances one's evolution." That comes from The Essence of Yoga in the passage for Yoga Sutra II.4. It's a passage I had just read a few days earlier. I remember thinking at the time that this was a good quote, but it wasn't in my head when I decided to include headstand in Thursday's practice. But, Wow! What an empowering message. I am thankful for conquering that particular fear, but I'm more thankful for the found faith in myself.

I continue to be thankful for my food (guys, I've lost the ability to peel off my lips). I am thankful for the daily reminders of the joy present in my life. And I am thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend and a very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This was a short work week for me, yet it felt like it somehow managed to squeeze in an extra day of work. It did not feel short, but it was not bad. I didn't blow up anything or set anything on fire. I call this a good week of science. I am thankful for this. I have been eating crazy clean and healthy meals lately. It's not because I'm on any kind of special cleansing diet. It's because I've wanted to eat this way. In fact, if I didn't insist on Wednesday pizza night, I'd be eating a mostly vegan diet. The skills I acquired over the weekend have made things even better and I've been incorporating new flavors and oils into my dinners that have made me ecstatically happy. I feel good and satisfied. It makes me want to pat myself on the back and say "Good job, Cindy." I am thankful for my food. This also marks week two of getting onto my yoga mat every day. I finally gave up the idea of doing my practice when I got home from work. I am a morning person. My day starts at 5:20 AM and by 5:20 PM, I'm done. So I rearranged some things. My day still starts at 5:20, but now my morning includes an hour of yoga and twenty minutes of meditation. I get to work an hour later than I used to but now I'm showing up when everybody else is. Normal times. The change has been really good and something to be very thankful for.

My food choices have fulled the need for clean. It's inspired me to tackle the garage. It's time to take glass and cardboard to recycling. And I think if tidy up the garage I just may be able to fit my car in there. I'll need to take some measurements and this may be a case of wishful thinking, but it sure would be nice to have my car inside. Because I don't know what it's like in your neck of the woods, but here it's COLD. I mean crazy stupid cold. My car has a safety feature that does not allow me to start my car and lock it. To warm up my car, I have to sit in it and it's like sitting in my refrigerator. This does not create healthy feelings within me and in fact makes me very grumbly. Not a good way to start a day. So I'm thankful that I have the time and resources this weekend to make an attempt to do something about it.

It's a good week to be thankful. I'm thankful for kind words. I am thankful for the moments this week that have made me laugh out loud. And as always, I am thankful for you. Here's to a productive weekend and a super Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I met Father Jacob during my visit to Atlanta. He's the priest that performed Chad and Jess's marriage ceremony. I only had a brief encounter with the man. Enough of an encounter to give me a glimpse of this quirky, cooky, little man. What caught my attention the most were the photos he had hanging on the wall near his office. They were various photos of people he'd encountered and helped through the Loaves and Fishes program at his church. All of the faces looked so happy, so full of love. Father Jacob passed away this week. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to meet him. You know, before Chris died and my trip to Atlanta, Chad was just a brief encounter? We'd only seen each other in the flesh that one time when Chad drove through OKC and met us for dinner. He was just some (possible crazy, definitely weird) dude we knew from Flickr. Now I consider him and Jess to be family. Suebob? I hung out with her one evening at BlogHer. I've seen her in real life twice, but I know I love that woman. How could you not? She's so awesome and welcoming. I've met some pretty amazing and wonderful people from brief encounters. Brief encounters can be scary and I think our first instinct is to guard our hearts, shut them down a bit. But I've learned over the years that going into those moments with an open heart/open mind lets in some pretty spectacular people. I am thankful for every single one.

I am thankful for my re-connection with my yoga mat. I am thankful for the sunlight that was streaming through the window when I opened my eyes from meditation this morning. I am thankful for the escape I have planned for this weekend. And I am always, always thankful for you. Here's to a perfect weekend and very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Sunday I took the last of my antibiotics and believed with my whole heart that this sinus/cough/yuck thing would disappear as I swallowed that pill. Kind of like how I believed that once I hit my 20s I'd never have acne again. (I do believe in faeries. I do. I do.) The sinus/cough/yuck thing diminished, but did not disappear and by Thursday all of that stuff that had been just hanging around inside my sinus cavities decided to come out my nose. In buckets. I went through a whole box of Kleenex in one day. And even though it was (still is) disgusting and my nose is so raw I put chapstick on it, I am thankful that this is happening. Because that means this sinus/cough/yuck thing is about to be gone. There was a time when I thought it was normal to be constantly plagued with a sinus infection. When I was a kid, it was tonsillitis until they had my tonsils removed. Then it was sinus infections. In college, I had a sinus infection every month. One time it got so bad that it drained into my eye and I got an eye infection. I was sickly. The day before we were to leave for Vegas to get married, I started getting a sore throat and running a fever. We were already under a lot of stress because the travel agent we'd been sending money to for months had completely messed up and booked nothing. The day before we were supposed to leave and we didn't know if we were actually going to get to leave. Chris poured me an unreasonable sized glass of orange juice and ordered me to drink ALL OF IT. Everything turned out OK. The bookings got fixed and I managed to keep the sinus infection at bay until we returned and Chris never ordered me to drink orange juice again. Illness was a way of life for me.

But then things changed. I learned how to manage my stress better. I committed myself to using my Neti pot every day. I changed my diet and stopped drinking milk. The sinus infections that plagued me constantly became a thing of the past. I might get one once a year now and they don't stick around as long. Every time I do get one, I'm reminded that this is how I used to live my life. And even though I don't like them (who likes being sick?) I am thankful for the reminder. I am thankful that I've learned something about managing my health and I'm thankful that for the most part I am healthy.

This week, I am thankful for hot tea, Kleenex and decongestant. I am thankful that this stuff is beginning to clear up. I am thankful for the short week and the opportunities to rest. And as always, I am thankful for you. Here's to wonderful weekend and a truly Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Things have been shifted around at work so that we all have new microscopes and tasks. I've learned three new systems in two days and I've left work every day feeling completed exhausted. It is a week of transition. Things will smooth out again once we all figure out our new routine. Sometime around Thursday I finally felt like I had some control over the day. Next week will be even easier. I'm thankful for the changes and the new challenges. I am thankful that I still enjoy this job (for the most part) and I'm thankful that I made the decision to take the leap and accept this job even though it meant moving away from the people I love. But this forces me to make the effort to see those people I love. Often we take for granted that loved ones are just around the corner or down the street. Moving away really puts that into perspective. Robin and her husband will be visiting this weekend and I could not be more excited to see them. Distance truly does make the heart grow fonder because I've noticed that every time I get a chance to visit or someone gets the chance to come up here, it just means the world. I am so thankful for that time, time that I'm pretty sure I used to take for granted.

What else? J's eldest boy turned 17 yesterday. The realization that this child is no longer a child made me hunch over and need a cane and a shawl. I remember when he used to be so little. I remember taking him into the crooked house at Silver Dollar City and his little body was too small to stay upright. He'd take two steps and fall over. It was the most hilarious thing I'd ever seen and we laughed and laughed and laughed. Now he's driving and has a girlfriend. But I'm thankful for that rotten kid.

The ex-landlord replaced my leaky kitchen faucet, something else to be thankful for. I was able to ride the scooter twice this week, though one of those days was pushing it (my face and toes where numb by the time I made it to work). The joy from riding the scooter, in December no less, is something to be truly thankful for. And...I am always thankful for you. Here's to a grand weekend and a very very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Mom bought me a tall slender pumpkin while she was house sitting for me in October. I decided that it needed a companion, so I bought a short round pumpkin to set next to the tall skinny one. Then I named them Laurel and Hardy. I thought about carving them at Halloween, but then decided to just leave them. That way they could be general Fall decor. Well it is almost officially December and Laurel and Hardy are still sitting in front of my front porch. Last year I let a pumpkin disintegrate on my front porch. It was so mushy I couldn't even shovel it up so I just sort slid it off the porch. Hey, I had a lot going on this time last year. But I promise. I'm not going to let that happen this year. I will cart Laurel and Hardy off to the compost bin this weekend. (Though I did toy with the idea of just putting stocking caps on them. Who says pumpkins have to be just for Fall?) I am so thankful I built that compost bin. This weekend will be filled with cleaning, recovering from last weekend, and maybe a little fun. I am thankful that I found some extra lights in our Christmas boxes because the houses on either side of me have put out lights and Christmas decorations. I am now "that" house. I am thankful that I have this weekend to finalize all the Holiday decorations. I am also thankful that the weather is going to be nice enough to do all of these things.

I always kind of struggle with that first Thankful Friday entry after Thanksgiving. We rush through a Holiday, fill it full with food and family, trying to cram EVERYTHING into a very short amount of time. It's not a surprise that we probably feel a lot like one of those Macy's Parade balloons after the parade. Deflated. Then before we know it, we're at it again. The clock to end the year starts ticking just a bit faster and everything takes on that blurry moving fast in a car haze. I am thankful for the little reminders to slow down and to pay attention.

I am always thankful for you. Here's to a wonderful weekend and a very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Well...it seems like I will be one of those crazy people heading out for Black Friday sales. Who knows? Maybe by the time this posts, I'll already be done and napping. But I doubt it. I've decided that it's time to upgrade my tiny little TV to something where I can at least read sub-titles if I decide to watch a foreign film. I am not one for crowded shopping sale gimmicks. But thankfully, I'm surrounded by family members who are. I put Katrina on task earlier this week and she hunted down prices for me. I knew she would be the best person for that job because I've seen her in action. She's the reason my parents have a garage door opener. I'm super thankful for her mad bargain hunting skills. There's just so much to be grateful for this week. The weather feels more like Spring than encroaching Winter (though I think they are predicting Winter temperatures for me when I get back to KCMO). I've been filled to the brim with good food. Hooper is snoring on his bed from his turkey drippings dinner. Hope all is well with you and your family and that you have a very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I love reading the daily gratitude status updates some of my friends are doing on Facebook for the month of November. It reminds me why I do this entry every week. I started Thankful Fridays to remind myself to be Thankful for things other than it's Friday. I started it to remind myself that not all good things happen only on weekends. It's nice to have that reminder. I feel like I've started to fall easily into that living for the weekend trap lately. I'm forgetting to look for the good things in the week. Good things like breakfast with a friend or trying out a new recipe (even though it stunk up my house to no end) or meeting new people. These are all things that I am thankful for. But I have to be honest with you and say that I am also more than a tiny bit thankful for this weekend. This is the last weekend before the rush of the Holiday season hits. Pretty soon our weekends are going to be filled with family and friends and social obligations. Although these are great, they can also be exhausting. I'm thankful for this weekend where I can take some time and plan out some things. Maybe figure out a way to make the Holiday season a little easier for myself this year. This is the weekend to build up my energy store so I have plenty tucked away for those moments where I just can't seem to find the gurmph. I am so grateful for this.

So much for all of us to be thankful for I think. Jen Tucker celebrated a birthday. I am thankful for the contributions she brings to my little world and I hope her day was grand. I am thankful for the meals I've eaten this week. I am thankful for the daily walks with the dog and my time on my yoga mat. And I am thankful for you. Here's to a weekend to charge those batteries and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I sat down twice this week to write a little more about my trip to Atlanta. I have deleted every thing that I started on this subject as well as an entry on how excited I get when I go vote. It's like the words are stuck or they come out so slowly that they don't form coherent sentences. You know how sometimes you say a word over and over and over and then that word doesn't sound right in your ears any more? That's how I've felt about everything I've written this week. Heck...I've deleted this entry four times already (not really). I have these little snippets of things from that trip that don't make-up whole entries on their own, but don't really flow together. I feel this away about many things that are happening in my life right now. There's just not enough of just one thing to tell a whole story. Normally this would bother me. It would make me feel too random and out of control and we know how I feel about being out of control. But I don't feel out of control at all. I just have a house full of burning candles. Each candle on it's own is just one insignificant flame and easily blown out. Put them all together and you get a pretty bright warm and fuzzy light. I am thankful for all these little snippets of good things in my life. There have been mornings this week where I've been driving to work and the most perfect song will be playing. When I turned on the car to drive to the polls Tuesday morning, my favorite Electric Guest song was playing and I car danced my way over to my polling place. I've found myself alone in an elevator dancing to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. And I'm thankful. I'm thankful for this music. I am thankful for the memories I'm holding onto from a good trip. I am thankful for each candle.

I cannot end this entry without saying something about Misti. Her birthday is tomorrow and she's taking the GRE. I am so happy for her new happiness and I am so proud of her and I know she will do just fine. I am thankful for her. I am thankful for old and new friends. I am thankful for new babies (our friend Amy in Australia had a cute little boy this week). And I'm always thankful for you. Have a great weekend everyone and a perfectly Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

A sensor light that I didn't recognize came on in my car last week. I had to dig out the manual to figure out the symbol. It's a tire pressure symbol. You guys? I've never EVER owned a vehicle that's told me that I needed to put air in my tires. As far as I knew, as long as the tire was actually inflated and holding the car up, you were good to go. I stopped by a gas station and attempted to put air in the front tires, but I really didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have a tire gauge and the air compressor made a lot of noise. I don't think much air actually made it into the tires. Actually...I know that not much air made it into the tires because the light never went off. Luckily, I know people. My friend Jeff from work invited me to hand out Halloween candy Wednesday night with his family. He also said he'd put air in my tires and I thought this was a pretty good trade off for sitting around, drinking his beer and handing out candy. As he was filling up the tires, he was telling about how the tire sensor works and psi and I just nodded my head like I understood what he was talking about. So...I'm thankful for Jeff and his cute little family for making me feel welcome and putting air in my tires.

What else? I'm thankful that Talaura is back at work so we can have our daily chats. I am thankful that cancer passed over Misti's house. I am thankful that all my friends and family appeared to have had a wonderful and safe Halloween. And...I'm thankful I didn't throw up while scooping a dead mouse up from my kitchen floor. Remember to set your clocks back an hour this weekend. Here's to a lovely one and a very thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.”-George Moore

Prior to my Atlanta trip, I'd grown a bit lethargic. I had completely fallen off my yoga mat. I'd made it to the third Yoga Sutra when my meditation crashed to a halt. Weekly chore nights didn't happen, so I'd end up spending a Saturday or Sunday scrubbing down the house. Which isn't all that bad, but it was a good excuse for not going out into the big world and doing stuff. I hadn't touched my camera in weeks. I still walked the dog every day, but I'd gotten really good at laying on that couch and watching whole seasons of TV shows in one weekend. Every day was exhausting. I'd get home from work and immediately lay down for twenty minutes and then end up going to bed for the night around 10:00. The next day would just be a re-run of the day before. I was tired. For no reason.

My mini vacation was far from relaxing. We were on the go ALL THE TIME. OH MY GOD THE AMOUNT OF STUFF WE DID. I was sure that I'd need weeks to recover and get back into some sort of routine. If I was tired before I even left for the trip, I figured that I might need to be hospitalized for exhaustion after the trip. But that didn't happen. I've been on my mat every day this week and I've easily gotten up early enough to do a morning meditation practice. Chores are done and there have been zero naps. I have no excuse for not doing something this weekend. So, this is what I'm thankful for this week. I am thankful for the vacation to Atlanta. I am thankful for the nurturing affect it had on my soul. I am thankful for the soreness of my ribs from ALL THE LAUGHING.

But I am also thankful that I could bring that goodness back with me to my little house. I am thankful for the clean sheets on my bed and the root veggies Mom left in my pantry. I am thankful for the crazy happy dance Hooper did when I came home. It felt good to know that he missed me. And...I am thankful for you.

Here's to a blessed weekend and a wonderful Thankful Friday!