THANKFUL FRIDAYS

My mother and I don't always sit on the same bench. I think a lot of this has to do with my mom always being super eager to help and I'm always super eager to not accept help. As I think of this now, after hearing and reading countless stories from other moms, I was probably a really difficult child. I was my mom's last opportunity for mothering someone. The last one to dote and coddle. But I was not one for being doted on or coddled. In my head, mothering sounds too much like smothering and mom figured this out about me early on. She left me alone, but pushed just enough. Mostly she just sat back quietly waiting for those times that I would ask for help. One time, I was making a dress for a 4-H project and the sewing machine was acting all wonky. If I pressed on the foot pedal just a little, nothing would happen. If I pressed just a bit more, the sewing machine would take off and then keep going even though I'd pulled my foot off the pedal. It seemed like I was hollering "MOM!" every five minutes. She finally gave up and just laid on the floor in the sewing room while I worked. Occasionally she'd check my work and either declare it good or hand me the seam ripper. This is how it is with us. She's either there supporting or handing me the tools to clean up the mess, but she always waits for me to ask.

So today, not just because Sunday is Mother's Day, I am thankful for my mom. I am thankful that she understands that I am independent and stubborn about. But most of all, I'm thankful for those times when I recognize that I do need a little coddling, those times when I need my mommy, she is always there.

To all my moms out there, have a wonderful weekend. And to all of us, a very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Lately if I have just one day where I've stuck with a routine I feel like I've won something. This week? I've won a freakin' gold medal at the Olympics. Yoga has happened everyday. My face has been washed before bed every night. Teeth have been brushed and flossed every night. Chore nights happened. Monday was clean the bathroom night, followed by Tuesday's dust and vacuum and Water The Plants Wednesday. Every time I felt like I'd give in to the gravitational pull of the couch, I'd shake myself and say "Cindy...if you don't do this, you will not have a Thankful Friday entry". Totally not true, but sometimes I have to bribe myself Wednesday, I bought some of that Technu stuff my sister told me to get and started scrubbing myself with it every time I started to get itchy. That night I slept straight through. Didn't get up once. And the next day, I noticed that I didn't need to scrub my arms as much. The patch on my elbow doesn't even look bubbly any more. It's still itchy, but manageable itchy. I no longer feel the need to peel my skin off my body.

These are the things I'm thankful for this week. I'm thankful for finally having some will power to keep a routine going. I'm thankful for some relief from the itchy poison ivy. I'm thankful for the rest I've been able to get. I am thankful for a successful week. And here's to a successful weekend.

Happy Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

You know that saying "don't count your chickens before they're all hatched"? Well, that's what I did. I was expecting a fat check from the federal government and ran out and bought a car because I knew I would be getting enough to pay for the tax and tag as well as my washer and dryer. Less then a week after I got the car, I received a letter telling me they had garnished my tax return for Chris's student loans. It's going to be OK. I've filled out paperwork to get it back and I've also taken action with his 401k. I will be fine. Really fine. It's just taking time for all of this to happen, time I don't really have because that car tag is due Monday. Right off the bat my brother and sister-in-law said they'd send me the money I needed for the car tag. I kept telling them to wait. I didn't want to ask for it and I was hoping that the other stuff would get resolved. But by Wednesday, I still hadn't heard any thing. That's when Katrina texted me and I was still reluctant, but said "yes, please send me money". As much as I hate having to borrow (even though I know I can pay them back), I am super thankful that they could help and offered before I could even ask for help. I am thankful that Katrina knows me well enough to know that she may have to push me to accept help. I am thankful that she recognizes that I have a hard time accepting help. This week, my dad did a dealership drive to North Dakota this week and he decided to stop and spend some time with me on his way back home. He showed up in town around lunch time, but couldn't be convinced to go to lunch. Instead, he was dead set on dinner at one of the casinos. I gave him my house keys so he'd have a place to relax until I got off work. I'd ridden the scooter that day and as I zoomed down my street, I noticed the garage door standing open for me and dad standing on my front porch watching for me. I was so thankful that I could just ride straight into the garage without stopping. And as I talked to dad while putting my helmet away, I noticed that the grass in the back yard looked shorter. Dad had mowed my yard. Of course I got onto him for doing it, but I'm super thankful he did because this just one less thing I have to think about getting done this weekend. I have plans this weekend. Plans I am thankful for. I am unplugging and pretending that I am far far away. I will end my pretend vacation in Fayetville to hear Misti in the Listen To Your Mother event. I am so thankful I get to hear and see her.I am so honored that she was chosen. I'm super duper proud of her.

I am thankful to have so much support and talent in my life. And I'm thankful for the prospect of rain. The garden needs it. Happy Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Sunday evening, mom and I cooked a dinner of roasted asparagus, grilled Ahi tuna, and macaroni shells from TJs. When we sat down at my little table to eat, my mom paused and I realized she was waiting for me to say grace. I have to admit I've been hit or miss on this lately. I might remember to say grace once or twice a week if I'm lucky. For weeks after Chris passed, I wouldn't remember to say it at all. I am thankful for the reminder to be grateful for the little good things that happen every day, even if it's just a simple meal I've prepared for myself. It was sort of the kick in the pants I needed. I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately. I know, I'm probably entitled to a little self pity, but it just doesn't feel right. It's like wearing uncomfortable clothes. People, I don't even wear uncomfortable shoes. I'm working on throwing out the uncomfortable clothes. There's a plan in my head for fixing that. I just need to make more of an effort to implement that plan. For now, I'll start with a little gratitude every day. Wednesday evening my cable and internet went out. I unplugged everything, plugged everything back in, reset boxes, and even swapped out power strips. Nothing. I called the cable/internet company and waited on hold for about fifteen minutes only to have the tech guy tell me that the service was down in my area. The good news? It had nothing to do with anything on my end. The bad news is that I had nothing. I had an evening of silence. At first this caused a panic bubble to rise up in my chest, but then I settled down on the couch with The Bloggess's new book "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" and it was an hour and half later before I remembered that I still needed to feed the dog. Sometimes it's important to disconnect. I'm thankful for that reminder and I'm thankful that it has encouraged me to seek out more. In fact, I feel a whole weekend of silence is due to happen sometime very soon.

What else? I've heard some friends get some very promising and encourage news towards some good things in their lives. I am so thankful for this and thankful that I can celebrate in their joy. I am thankful that all is well with friends and family after some scary weather. I am thankful for the salad I had for lunch this week because the greens came right out of my backyard. I am thankful for you, as always.

Here's to a wonderful weekend and a very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I will admit, staying home from work on Monday was just as much about self pity as it was about not feeling well. I spent the day on the couch watching bad British TV mini series mixed with a little crying. The next day, I went to work still feeling gloomy when I got a text from Chad. It was just a simple hey-you've-been-on-my-mind-just-checking-in-on-you text. It came at just the right time. I am thankful for the people in my life that check up on me from time to time. And so many of you do. I want you to know that I really appreciate it. I feel like the blog has been missing content lately and I apologize for that. But all my content energy has gone into a new project that just sort of happened. I'm not ready to talk about the new project, may never be ready to talk about. I'll be sure to let you know if anything comes of it. I am thankful for this project because I think it's healing and it's helping me clear some of the chatter in my head. Unfortunately it's causing me to neglect other things like this blog. I'm learning to balance all of it. You know when you have an inner ear problem your balance gets all wonky. That's what I've been feeling. Like my balance is off. Physically I'm fine. I did a whole yoga practice based on balance the other and not a weeble or a wobble happened. But my life still feels out of whack. I think that this project helping to put things back into some kind of balance. I am thankful for this.

What else? I am thankful for the new magazines that have downloaded to the iPad this week. I am thankful for the promise of another lazy weekend. I am thankful for the whirlwind of things ahead. Always, I am thankful for you. Here's to a blessed weekend and very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This week has been difficult. There. I said it. I had a tough week. The yoga thing wasn't happening. Chore nights got chucked. I had friends lose a beloved pet, a friend dealing with someone from HS that committed suicide, a friend that had an ER scare (everything is fine, but those moments before you know that can suck). This week caused some damage, but nothing more than a few bruises. You guys may not realize this, but I spend a lot of time worrying about my friends. I worry more for them than myself. I don't say this to make you feel guilty. I say it so you know that there is someone out there thinking about you and praying that things are going well for you. When it looks like things are not going well, I worry about how I can fix that for you. So... I've been worrying about you guys. But somewhere in all that crap of yuck up there, there are things to be thankful for this week. Stephanie celebrated another year of her life this week and I feel like I don't say it often enough just how much I appreciate her guidance and support in my life. I am truly grateful to be blessed with such a friend. Tiffany, Tom and Allison were in town this week and we were able to meet for dinner. Tiffany helped ease some questions that had been tickling the back of my brain and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful for Tom's hugs. That dude could charge people money for those things and their little Allison has learned the art of hugging well. I am thankful for their visit.

I'm tired. Exhausted really. I've not had a moment of nothing in a really long time. I've been sleeping, but not sleeping well. I wake up a few times in the night, sometimes with limbs that have fallen to sleep. Then I get all mad because why can my limbs go to sleep and I can't?!? I need a day of recovery. Wednesday night I took the memory foam pad off the guest bed/couch and put it on my bed. That night, I didn't move. I woke up without a gimpy leg or a groan. It felt good. I am really thankful for that memory foam topper. And as I took it off the guest bed/couch, I started looking around the office. I was inspired to move a chest of drawers full of tools out to the garage. I believe I'll be moving more furniture around this weekend and making some headway with that office. I need a yoga space and it's time I created it. I'm thankful for this free weekend to do that.

And I am particularly thankful that my tribe is doing OK. Here's to a restful weekend and a truly Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I feel like every girl needs and older brother. Mine introduced me to music, art, comics, stoicism and swearing. I don't remember much about our time together when I was little, just bits and pieces. I remember begging him to hide Easter eggs a gazillion times. I have been told that my favorite thing was standing on the vacuum while Randy pushed me around. I don't remember this, but there's photographic evidence somewhere. Any way, I am thankful that I have such a brother and that yesterday was his birthday because that means he survived another year which is always worth celebrating. I am thankful for the countless hours of egg hiding and his patience with me. Wednesday, I finally had that healthy woman's exam and met my new doctor. Turns out she's really great and asked all the right questions. So, I'm really thankful that I lucked out and got a good doctor right off the bat and I won't have to hunt another one. I am also thankful for my health and the five pounds that I've lost since the last time I had one of these visits. Though this did prompt my doctor to ask me if I'm eating. I am eating. I've been doing a good job of preparing meals and eating well and this brings me to the next thing I am thankful for.

My friend from work is from India and she cooks, likes to cooks even. Yesterday she brought me two of my favorite Indian dishes. Not only did not have to cook my own dinner, but I got to eat real Indian food. Not the stuff they make for delicate American taste buds, but the real stuff, the good stuff. I am so thankful that I have such people in my lives. I am thankful for a brother who taught me how to curse, a new understanding doctor, and friends that feed me.

What totally fabulous thing are you thankful for this week?

Have an excellent Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I have a lot to be thankful for this week. A. Lot. Some of which I'm not quite ready to talk about because I'm not one to count her chickens before egg hatch and all that jazz. Part of that is I'm really thankful to have someone in the family who does taxes. Actually I'm more than thankful for Katrina for a million reasons. Taxes is one of them. That woman is going through her own kind of Hell (cancer can eat it) right now and still did my taxes for me. I tried to get my stuff back from her before she did them and tell her not to worry about it, but she slapped me and said fuck that shit. Not really, but she did refuse to give my W2s back. I am thankful. Also, my friend Heather is coming up to stay with me this weekend. Her intention was to come and help me do stuff around the house like garden or paint. Well, oops! I did that stuff already. But that's OK. I'm sure we can find something else to do. Maybe rearrange furniture or go see a movie. I'm thankful to have friends that want to drive such a distance to help. I suppose that's why I got so much done last weekend. I'd rather spend that time doing fun stuff with my friends rather than put them to work. I'm thankful she's coming and I can't wait to see her.

Speaking of gardens. Last Friday I put everything in the ground, but I didn't water any of it. The hose, though it has been bleached, is still in the basement from the Poop Fiasco of 2011/2012. I just didn't feel like hauling it up the stairs and then running it from the front of the house to the back and blah, blah, blah. I'd heard some rumors about rain so I shrugged it off and decided to wait it out. By Sunday when the rain hadn't appeared I started to feel bad for the things I had planted, but Monday changed all of that. I know I've done my fair share of complaining about rain. It's wet and yuck and messy and every time Hooper comes in from outside, his paws have to be cleaned and you can't ride a scooter particularly if you have a bald tire. But I sure am thankful for this week we've had of it.

And these are the things I'm thankful for this week. But most importantly and always, I am thankful for you. Here's to a great weekend and very very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

My parents came up yesterday to take away the wood in my back yard. At first I thought that's all they were doing. Turns out they had greater plans than I did. I had just about decided to re-use last year's garden plot. I knew I wouldn't get all that wood moved. I knew I wouldn't get a raised bed built. I knew these were all tasks I couldn't accomplish in time to get seeds in the ground. I just knew it. But then here come my parents, bickering their way through wood clearing and garden building. I am thankful for it. So thankful. Now I have to decide on the plants. Maybe last year's garden will be a new herb garden. The possibilities. Misti posted on my FB wall about how I survived Wednesday. Surprising enough, I did OK on Wednesday. The glitch in the day happened when I laid down in savasana. I started sobbing and then I made my yoga teacher start crying. It was not a pretty picture. But then I got my scooter to head home and all was well. I survived. One milestone down. I'm thankful for getting through, but I'm also thankful for that release in savasana. It was a reminder to let go, a reminder to be on my mat (something I've been struggling with lately).

I am thankful for the weather which has allowed me to ride the V and build a garden. I am thankful for the hard work my parents have done for me. And I'm really thankful for the naps I'm going to allow myself this weekend. Here's to a peaceful restful weekend and a very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Yesterday was not only my Dad's birthday, but was also my sister's birthday. How lucky is it to be a parent and have one of your kids share your birthday? I suppose it depends on how you see things (half full or half empty). I think it's pretty neat. I got really upset when my dad turned 70. It didn't seem right that I was old enough to have parents reaching into their 70s. But now, Dad is 74 and I've had some time to adjust and reflect. I still stick with my "age is relative" belief. I am thankful that my dad is still around. Not only is he still around, but he's still active. Sure, he may forget the actual date of my birthday, but he's been doing that for years now. At least he knows my birthday happens. I love my kooky dad. I am, of course, thankful for my sister too. I think you learn a lot from big sisters. I'm thankful for all the things I've learned from Janell. I am thankful for the impact she has made on my life. I am so proud of her for finding her own path and sticking to it. Around the beginning of this week I lost my health insurance. I lost my temper and I lost my patience (social security phone interview, nothing more to be said really). As we near the end of the week, all of those things lost have been found. The health insurance debacle was fixed and I was apologized to profusely for the snafu. Getting my thoughts out of my head and onto virtual paper cooled the temper. And yesterday morning I mailed off the last piece of info need by social security to finish up all that mess. I am thankful for all of it. I am thankful that I will not be heading into the weekend worried and or angry.

Which brings me to another thing I am thankful for. Today I travel to Oklahoma to spend the weekend with my family. Usually, I'm already starting to stress about getting back and taking care of things like laundry and groceries. Now that I have a working washer and dryer in the house, the laundry thing is no longer an issue. I can wash and dry clothes when ever I want! I am so thankful for this. I am thankful that I don't have to cart my dirty clothes to my parents house to save money and I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about getting it done. All very awesome things to be thankful for as I head into the weekend.

Hope everyone has a grand weekend and a very thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Exactly one year ago, Chris and I moved to Kansas City MO. We packed up our life and our stuff and said goodbye to jobs that didn't really make us (me) very happy in order to start a new life and a new chance at happy. We looked at one rental house and snatched it up immediately without looking around at anything else. This worked in our favor because it eventually became the house we would buy. Our first house. So, for almost a whole year, we were really truly happy. It was a year of just the two of us discovering new things and relishing in the good. And we were stupid happy. Sometimes when I look back on 2011, I am amazed at all the stuff we did. It's like we crammed five years into one. We did all these newly wed couple type things and just enjoyed a year of us. I am thankful for that year. I mean, I am truly thankful for that year. I was miserable living with Chris's mom and I can't lie to you and say that those living arrangements didn't put a strain on our marriage. Those three years were tough and I was beginning to worry that we would never leave. I worried about how I would adapt to living someplace I just didn't want to be. And then all that changed. And we were on our own. And we were happy. Some times I wonder what it would have been like if we hadn't moved and Chris had still gotten sick. I think of being trapped there with out him. It's a thought that sends shivers down my spine and makes me break out in a cold sweat. At least here, I'm on my own turf and can make my own rules. And as much as I would love to have had more than just that one year, I am so thankful that we had this one.

It still boggles my mind the difference a year can make. Or time in general. How those years of unhappy dragged on, while this year of so much wonderful flew by. I know how lucky and blessed I am. And this is why I am so grateful.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Wednesday was a challenge and by the time I made it through yoga class and into savasana, the tears started to fall. They welled up behind my closed eyes and spilled down the sides of my head to leave little puddles on my mat. And they continued to fall as I rolled up my mat and loaded me car. They stopped as I pulled into the drive way. But then, my 12 year old dog decided he was really two and that he had the ability to fly. He bounded off the back step with such height and force that as he landed on his front legs, they fell out from underneath him. That's when he started yelping in pain and I had determined he had dislocated his shoulder. I rushed him to an emergency vet clinic and shakily filled out paper work as they took him back for x-rays. And then, I began to sob as the Vet told me that my dog was just fine. No broken bones. No dislocated shoulder. Just a little arthritis and a bruised elbow. Is it any wonder what I have to be thankful for today? I am thankful that Hooper is OK. In fact, he's feeling so much better now, he doesn't even limp. But I'm also thankful for the Vet with the kind eyes that understood my blubbering and was able to grasp that I had already lost one thing so dear to my heart, that the thought of losing another had turned me into a mess.

I am also thankful for a return to a routine. It may seem at times that I'm on autopilot. Go to work. Walk the treadmill. Get on my mat. Cook my meals. Rhythm. Routine. But this routine gives me a task and keeps my mind busy so that when the bad moments come, they're manageable. I feel like because I've completed task one and two, I can reward myself with a giving in to the grief. Which is silly, I know. But I've never been one to wallow. Even in a time like this. I try to think of the things Chris would want. I know he'd want me to feel sad that he's gone, but I also know that he'd hate it if I just gave in and stopped being me, stopped being the woman he loved. Staying true to myself is more important now than it ever was. And I'm thankful for these moments of clarity.

As always, I am thankful for you. I feel every word of encouragement and love as if it's really your hand pressing into my back. It gives me strength and joy. You remind me to laugh and you give me permission to do things like purchase a washer and dryer. A task that I plan on taking care of this weekend.

Have a blessed weekend and a very, very Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

With the exception of Monday night/Tuesday morning, this has been a pretty OK week. Pain is being managed. Food has been eaten (not much, but more than last week). Bags are draining. Chris is mumbling theories involving Isaac Asimov and Lex Luthor. The weather has been in the balmy 60s. All of this makes me extremely thankful. But I have a confession. I'm tired. I'm the kind of tired that when I lay down to sleep, I'm too tired to close my eyes or move my body. This morning, with a very heavy and steady rain pouring down, was nearly an impossible morning. And the road rage the burbled up from my belly on the way into work came pouring out my mouth with toxic words not even a drunken sailor would use (I don't understand why people here refuse to get into the turn lane when making a turn. It's a perfectly good turn lane.). Any way...let's just say I've reached toddler-needs-nap-or-melt-down-in-3-2-1 state. But it's Friday! Which means I really can take a nap when I get home! I don't have to prepare dinner or lunch or get things ready for the next day. I do need to vacuum....but my house is small. I don't have to worry about peeling my body out of bed at the sound of the alarm clock. Sleeeeeeppppp! I'm gonna do that. I am so thankful.

I am thankful for the friends coming to visit this weekend. I am thankful for the rain. I am thankful for the wonderful care packages and cards being sent in our direction. I am forever grateful and thankful for all of you. Happy weekend and Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I've always been the cheerleader. Maybe my stint as an honest to goodness cheerleader in middle school didn't last long. I wasn't cut out for the backstabbing skort world of sports. I consider myself more of a life cheerleader. I am always there to send out an encouraging word and cheer on any one who needs it. I think it's a pretty easy job. But suddenly I've found the that the tables have been turned. I've been put on the receiving end and it's odd and at times overwhelming. I am thankful for every little note, message, text, email, all of it. We spoke to hospice care this week, a talk that I thought would be depressing and downtrodden. Chris and I had already decided to not sign up for it until things got worse. But as our case worker talked about the program and the things that they provide, I realized that this was something we could use now. I realized that I needed the peace of mind that a nurse was going to come in and check on Chris once a week to make sure I wasn't doing something wrong. Plus, I liked our case worker's attitude. She was adamant about getting Chris up and moving and getting nutrition into him. She said that she wants the patients to live, not lay around giving in to death. Today, I am thankful for hospice care.

On the horizon, I can see a blip of light. I have some hope that we have more than months, but years left. I am more than thankful for that little blip of light. Hope your weekend is blessed and your Friday is thankful.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Sunday, my mom celebrated her 71st birthday. I took her out for a fancy dinner and then she took me into H&M, bought me a girly sweater and a couple of t-shirts that make my boobs look big. We had a nice time, something we both needed after a very stressful week. That Friday, after they finally got Chris a room at the hospital, I went home and cleaned poop out of basement, fed the dog and collapsed on the bed. As I was laying there worrying about Chris and the plumbing, I realized that I just couldn't be in two places at the same time. I realized that I had to ask for help. I needed my mom. So I am ever so thankful that Mom was able to drop everything and come and stay at our house. She was able to be there to let our former landlord in to fix the plumbing. She was there to be Hooper's personal dog door. She made sure that I ate, that I slept, and that my laundry was done. She even took down my Christmas tree. I am thankful that she was able to be there and I am thankful that we were able to celebrate her birthday and take a moment to be happy.

Today is going to be a long day filled with more tests and a meeting with oncologists. Things are moving forward at an almost alarming rate. The speed is both frightening and reassuring. I'm thankful that things are moving ahead and moving closer to getting Chris better. I am thankful that Chris is home. I am thankful for all the wonderful words and love coming our way. I am thankful that Chris's sister-in-law showed up just in time to cut Chris's hair. Traci and I were about to do it and had every intention of using those right and left ear guards that came with the kit. His hair looks really good. I'm thankful.

Hope all is well and that you have a very thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

As most of you know by now via Facebook, we have a little sewage backup problem in the basement. Wednesday evening I went down to the basement to retrieve the Christmas decoration boxes and as I opened the door a wave of poop stench wafted in my direction. That's when I saw the puddle of human waste and my heart started to pound in my chest. You're probably wondering what I could possibly be thankful for this week. Well, I gots many things. First of all the poo puddle only touched one box that is loosely held together with duct tape and probably only contains miscellaneous things that should have been tossed in the move any way. Nothing is completely ruined. Secondly, we caught the sewage problem early. After reading some horror stories online, I realized just how lucky we are. I read stories of basements being flooded with two inches or more of sewage, floating tampons, ruined carpet and walls. Our poo puddle is disgusting, but totally manageable. Thirdly, when I called our now former landlord to get some advice on the whole clogged sewer problem, he said he'd come over and take care of that. So I'm extremely thankful that I had someone to call for help. And last but certainly not least, I am thankful that my work provides it's employees with a lovely gym that includes a locker room with showers. Because turning the bathtub water on seems to make the flooding worse.

See...look at all that optimism! When I discovered the poo puddle, Chris mumbled something about this happening while he's sick. I just shrugged and said "shit happens". Oh how we laughed. But it's true. It could have been so much worse. We are just thankful that it's all manageable.

Here's to a poo free weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Last Thursday, we noticed an ominous sound coming from our brakes. Chris, who is already feeling like crap, feel into deeper doom and gloom mode and my stomach started hurting because I had no idea how to make any of it better, Chris or the brakes. So I asked the guys at work about where to go to get brakes repaired and one of them pipped up and said "my garage". And he wasn't kidding. In fact, I stopped by the auto parts store and bought new brake pads that night. Saturday morning, we drove over to his house where he replaced our brake pads and had our rotors taken care of (they have to grind them or something...I don't know) and made sure all our tires were properly aired. All it cost me was a six pack of beer and bottle of Two Buck Chuck. So it should be no surprise that today I am extremely thankful for the kindness of others. A lot of times I have a hard time accepting the kindness and generosity from people around me. If it had been any other day of the week, I probably would have told my friend "no, no, we can't ask you to do that, no". But that day I was vulnerable and he made it easy to say yes. When Chris and I had to make a sudden stop with those new brakes and they actually worked with out making a hideous sound, we both sighed with relief. Being vulnerable opened my up to acceptance and I am truly thankful for that.

I am thankful for Mark's kindness and our new brakes. I am thankful that even though I may not sound better, I feel better. I am thankful that Chris feels just a tinsy bit better. I am thankful for the whole week of vacation I am taking. And I am thankful for you.

THANKFUL FRIDAY OR THE HOUSE OF ILL

Or as Chris put it "we be illin". It's true. The dog is the only healthy organism living in this house at the moment. Well, the plants are still thriving. These are things I'm thankful for. I am thankful that I have things in my home at this moment that do not require medicine. Chris's illness still lingers. He has good days and bad days where all he can do is sit and moan. I didn't help things out at all with my sinus infection that started out as just a tickle but ended in an add for Nyquil by the time I made it home Wednesday night. Then I had to convince Chris that I didn't have the same thing he has. We are very pathetic around here. I went into work for two hours yesterday and spent the rest of the day napping and watching the Walking Dead (terrible show). But this is all I can give myself because tomorrow I'm presenting in lab meeting (so not prepared). Also, Christmas cards are sitting on my desk, addressed and stamped. I don't have time to be sick.

So today, I am thankful for cold medicine and decongestants (I'm already feeling better, if not more loopy then usual). I am thankful for glue sticks (for sealing envelopes). I am thankful for sick days where I can rest. I am thankful for Chris's good days. And as always, I am thankful for all of you.

Happy Weekend and Thankful Friday.

So say we all.

And thank you to the Force.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

You know? I haven't really said much about the Pen Pal project. That's because the Pen Pal Project kind of went flop, with a few exceptions. My niece, Amanda. Just this week I received an envelope from her containing three hand written letter. Two of these were actually written by her and one was a random note from their neighbor. I don't know my sister's neighbors so the note had me perplexed. All I can think of is that Amanda thought it would be funny to include and it was. Amanda may be slow on the sending part of this project, but she makes up for it with all the writing. I am thankful for these letters from her. I am thankful that she takes the time to write them. I know she's really busy with Senior year stuff and work. So it really means a lot to me that she takes the time to write. These letters keep her close. She's all grown up these days and it happened all over night. I remember when she used to come stay with us when we lived in Chickasha. She was so little and would only eat mashed potatoes and gravy. She thought the emus next door where ducks. Her hair was curly. Needless to say that she now knows the difference between emus and ducks. She has a plan and knows what she wants. I am thankful for the young woman that she has grown to be.

As I write today's entry, I realize that I have not said grace before our evening meal all week. Part of that is because Chris has been ill (he's been to the doctor and will eventually recover) and not eating. I have been left on my own for dinner (a bit unsupervised). I just didn't think it was right to say grace over a bowl of cereal or a peanut-butter-banana sandwich. Shame on me. It's not the meal, but the act of taking a moment to be grateful for your day that matters. I am grateful for my days.

Happy Weekend and Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

It's December, the month sends people into scramble mode. The thing is, I kind of feel like I've been in scramble mode since the end of January 2011. I had finally gotten into settling mode when people started talking about full calenders and how to juggle it all. Just once I'd like to get to an end of a year with out feeling like I'm running the worse kind of race. I kind of feel like this is that year. I've got most of our Christmas shopping done, a plan for our annual Christmas card and a vague idea of what's happening over our Christmas vacation. Things will fall into the right place and this is what I'm thankful for this week.

I am thankful for all the things that are happening this month. Monday, Chris and I will see Florence + The Machine as our Christmas present to ourselves. We have friends visiting in a week and we will be visiting friends and family at the end of the month. I am thankful for the hustle and bustle of December.

Also, I'm thankful for the daily square of chocolate in my advent calender.