THANKFUL FRIDAY

With the exception of Monday night/Tuesday morning, this has been a pretty OK week. Pain is being managed. Food has been eaten (not much, but more than last week). Bags are draining. Chris is mumbling theories involving Isaac Asimov and Lex Luthor. The weather has been in the balmy 60s. All of this makes me extremely thankful. But I have a confession. I'm tired. I'm the kind of tired that when I lay down to sleep, I'm too tired to close my eyes or move my body. This morning, with a very heavy and steady rain pouring down, was nearly an impossible morning. And the road rage the burbled up from my belly on the way into work came pouring out my mouth with toxic words not even a drunken sailor would use (I don't understand why people here refuse to get into the turn lane when making a turn. It's a perfectly good turn lane.). Any way...let's just say I've reached toddler-needs-nap-or-melt-down-in-3-2-1 state. But it's Friday! Which means I really can take a nap when I get home! I don't have to prepare dinner or lunch or get things ready for the next day. I do need to vacuum....but my house is small. I don't have to worry about peeling my body out of bed at the sound of the alarm clock. Sleeeeeeppppp! I'm gonna do that. I am so thankful.

I am thankful for the friends coming to visit this weekend. I am thankful for the rain. I am thankful for the wonderful care packages and cards being sent in our direction. I am forever grateful and thankful for all of you. Happy weekend and Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I've always been the cheerleader. Maybe my stint as an honest to goodness cheerleader in middle school didn't last long. I wasn't cut out for the backstabbing skort world of sports. I consider myself more of a life cheerleader. I am always there to send out an encouraging word and cheer on any one who needs it. I think it's a pretty easy job. But suddenly I've found the that the tables have been turned. I've been put on the receiving end and it's odd and at times overwhelming. I am thankful for every little note, message, text, email, all of it. We spoke to hospice care this week, a talk that I thought would be depressing and downtrodden. Chris and I had already decided to not sign up for it until things got worse. But as our case worker talked about the program and the things that they provide, I realized that this was something we could use now. I realized that I needed the peace of mind that a nurse was going to come in and check on Chris once a week to make sure I wasn't doing something wrong. Plus, I liked our case worker's attitude. She was adamant about getting Chris up and moving and getting nutrition into him. She said that she wants the patients to live, not lay around giving in to death. Today, I am thankful for hospice care.

On the horizon, I can see a blip of light. I have some hope that we have more than months, but years left. I am more than thankful for that little blip of light. Hope your weekend is blessed and your Friday is thankful.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Sunday, my mom celebrated her 71st birthday. I took her out for a fancy dinner and then she took me into H&M, bought me a girly sweater and a couple of t-shirts that make my boobs look big. We had a nice time, something we both needed after a very stressful week. That Friday, after they finally got Chris a room at the hospital, I went home and cleaned poop out of basement, fed the dog and collapsed on the bed. As I was laying there worrying about Chris and the plumbing, I realized that I just couldn't be in two places at the same time. I realized that I had to ask for help. I needed my mom. So I am ever so thankful that Mom was able to drop everything and come and stay at our house. She was able to be there to let our former landlord in to fix the plumbing. She was there to be Hooper's personal dog door. She made sure that I ate, that I slept, and that my laundry was done. She even took down my Christmas tree. I am thankful that she was able to be there and I am thankful that we were able to celebrate her birthday and take a moment to be happy.

Today is going to be a long day filled with more tests and a meeting with oncologists. Things are moving forward at an almost alarming rate. The speed is both frightening and reassuring. I'm thankful that things are moving ahead and moving closer to getting Chris better. I am thankful that Chris is home. I am thankful for all the wonderful words and love coming our way. I am thankful that Chris's sister-in-law showed up just in time to cut Chris's hair. Traci and I were about to do it and had every intention of using those right and left ear guards that came with the kit. His hair looks really good. I'm thankful.

Hope all is well and that you have a very thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

As most of you know by now via Facebook, we have a little sewage backup problem in the basement. Wednesday evening I went down to the basement to retrieve the Christmas decoration boxes and as I opened the door a wave of poop stench wafted in my direction. That's when I saw the puddle of human waste and my heart started to pound in my chest. You're probably wondering what I could possibly be thankful for this week. Well, I gots many things. First of all the poo puddle only touched one box that is loosely held together with duct tape and probably only contains miscellaneous things that should have been tossed in the move any way. Nothing is completely ruined. Secondly, we caught the sewage problem early. After reading some horror stories online, I realized just how lucky we are. I read stories of basements being flooded with two inches or more of sewage, floating tampons, ruined carpet and walls. Our poo puddle is disgusting, but totally manageable. Thirdly, when I called our now former landlord to get some advice on the whole clogged sewer problem, he said he'd come over and take care of that. So I'm extremely thankful that I had someone to call for help. And last but certainly not least, I am thankful that my work provides it's employees with a lovely gym that includes a locker room with showers. Because turning the bathtub water on seems to make the flooding worse.

See...look at all that optimism! When I discovered the poo puddle, Chris mumbled something about this happening while he's sick. I just shrugged and said "shit happens". Oh how we laughed. But it's true. It could have been so much worse. We are just thankful that it's all manageable.

Here's to a poo free weekend and a very Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Last Thursday, we noticed an ominous sound coming from our brakes. Chris, who is already feeling like crap, feel into deeper doom and gloom mode and my stomach started hurting because I had no idea how to make any of it better, Chris or the brakes. So I asked the guys at work about where to go to get brakes repaired and one of them pipped up and said "my garage". And he wasn't kidding. In fact, I stopped by the auto parts store and bought new brake pads that night. Saturday morning, we drove over to his house where he replaced our brake pads and had our rotors taken care of (they have to grind them or something...I don't know) and made sure all our tires were properly aired. All it cost me was a six pack of beer and bottle of Two Buck Chuck. So it should be no surprise that today I am extremely thankful for the kindness of others. A lot of times I have a hard time accepting the kindness and generosity from people around me. If it had been any other day of the week, I probably would have told my friend "no, no, we can't ask you to do that, no". But that day I was vulnerable and he made it easy to say yes. When Chris and I had to make a sudden stop with those new brakes and they actually worked with out making a hideous sound, we both sighed with relief. Being vulnerable opened my up to acceptance and I am truly thankful for that.

I am thankful for Mark's kindness and our new brakes. I am thankful that even though I may not sound better, I feel better. I am thankful that Chris feels just a tinsy bit better. I am thankful for the whole week of vacation I am taking. And I am thankful for you.

THANKFUL FRIDAY OR THE HOUSE OF ILL

Or as Chris put it "we be illin". It's true. The dog is the only healthy organism living in this house at the moment. Well, the plants are still thriving. These are things I'm thankful for. I am thankful that I have things in my home at this moment that do not require medicine. Chris's illness still lingers. He has good days and bad days where all he can do is sit and moan. I didn't help things out at all with my sinus infection that started out as just a tickle but ended in an add for Nyquil by the time I made it home Wednesday night. Then I had to convince Chris that I didn't have the same thing he has. We are very pathetic around here. I went into work for two hours yesterday and spent the rest of the day napping and watching the Walking Dead (terrible show). But this is all I can give myself because tomorrow I'm presenting in lab meeting (so not prepared). Also, Christmas cards are sitting on my desk, addressed and stamped. I don't have time to be sick.

So today, I am thankful for cold medicine and decongestants (I'm already feeling better, if not more loopy then usual). I am thankful for glue sticks (for sealing envelopes). I am thankful for sick days where I can rest. I am thankful for Chris's good days. And as always, I am thankful for all of you.

Happy Weekend and Thankful Friday.

So say we all.

And thank you to the Force.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

You know? I haven't really said much about the Pen Pal project. That's because the Pen Pal Project kind of went flop, with a few exceptions. My niece, Amanda. Just this week I received an envelope from her containing three hand written letter. Two of these were actually written by her and one was a random note from their neighbor. I don't know my sister's neighbors so the note had me perplexed. All I can think of is that Amanda thought it would be funny to include and it was. Amanda may be slow on the sending part of this project, but she makes up for it with all the writing. I am thankful for these letters from her. I am thankful that she takes the time to write them. I know she's really busy with Senior year stuff and work. So it really means a lot to me that she takes the time to write. These letters keep her close. She's all grown up these days and it happened all over night. I remember when she used to come stay with us when we lived in Chickasha. She was so little and would only eat mashed potatoes and gravy. She thought the emus next door where ducks. Her hair was curly. Needless to say that she now knows the difference between emus and ducks. She has a plan and knows what she wants. I am thankful for the young woman that she has grown to be.

As I write today's entry, I realize that I have not said grace before our evening meal all week. Part of that is because Chris has been ill (he's been to the doctor and will eventually recover) and not eating. I have been left on my own for dinner (a bit unsupervised). I just didn't think it was right to say grace over a bowl of cereal or a peanut-butter-banana sandwich. Shame on me. It's not the meal, but the act of taking a moment to be grateful for your day that matters. I am grateful for my days.

Happy Weekend and Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

It's December, the month sends people into scramble mode. The thing is, I kind of feel like I've been in scramble mode since the end of January 2011. I had finally gotten into settling mode when people started talking about full calenders and how to juggle it all. Just once I'd like to get to an end of a year with out feeling like I'm running the worse kind of race. I kind of feel like this is that year. I've got most of our Christmas shopping done, a plan for our annual Christmas card and a vague idea of what's happening over our Christmas vacation. Things will fall into the right place and this is what I'm thankful for this week.

I am thankful for all the things that are happening this month. Monday, Chris and I will see Florence + The Machine as our Christmas present to ourselves. We have friends visiting in a week and we will be visiting friends and family at the end of the month. I am thankful for the hustle and bustle of December.

Also, I'm thankful for the daily square of chocolate in my advent calender.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

The turkey has been cooked (successfully). Dinner has been eaten. Leftovers have all been divided and put away. Dessert and coffee has been consumed. The kitchen has been cleaned. The parents have packed up and headed out. All of this happened in moments. Snippets of time. Writing a gratitude entry on the day after the Thanksgiving Holiday should practically write itself. The turkey eaters raved over the turkey and I have yet to hear any news of food poisoning. Surprisingly enough, there were no Lucille Ball moments. In fact, the entire meal was easy peasy. I have a small kitchen and I like it that way. I was a bit worried about how mom and I would get along in such a small space, but we handled it quite well. It reminded me of when I would work next to mom in her kitchen when I was little except this time I had an idea of what I was doing.

I am thankful that we were able to sit down and share our Thanksgiving meal together in our first house. I am thankful that my parents are still capable and able to travel to be here with us. I am thankful. Simply thankful.

Hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Holiday and Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This week seemed to move in slow motion. I used to hate weeks like this. If a week had dragged on like this before, I'd be writhing in despair under my desk. But today, I was trying to schedule a training for someone who wants to use a microscope and as I looked at the calender I realized that this month is practically gone. This year has flown by in a crazy blur. I am thankful to have a week where time slows down a bit and I have a chance to catch my breath. The slowness of the week has inspired me to spend some time with the manual settings on my camera, take the time to be still for that night picture, knit, and finally take that polish off my toenails (the same polish I've had on since maybe June). Also, Monday I taught my third class at the private catholic school for underprivileged teens. I haven't wanted to say to much about it until I knew how the class would go. I have twelve to thirteen teenage girls and we meet in a small reception hall at the back of the church. There's a huge statue of the Virgin Mary staring right at me as I teach these girls sun salutation. Some of the girls are there because they think it's an easy grade, but most of them are really into it. Even the apathetic ones try. I have three rules for the class: never endure pain, be present on your mat, and it's OK to laugh. And we do. We laugh and giggle, but when it's time for final relaxation they all lay quietly on their mats. I love it and I'm sure I enjoy teaching the class more than they like being there. I am so thankful for each one of those girls and I am thankful that I've been allowed to teach them yoga.

As always, I am thankful for Chris. I am thankful for dog who has taken on the habit of sighing like a leaky balloon. And I am most thankful for all of you. Happy weekend and Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

November is a big birthday month. Katrina (my sister-in-law) celebrated another wonderful year of life last Saturday. Misti and Traci celebrated another fabulous year yesterday. Next week will rock another spectacular year for Anna and Jen followed by our friends Nikki and Madchen. That's a lot of cake and of course I am extremely thankful for all of it. You see, all of those women are very important to me. They are my champions, my cheerleaders, my heroes. I am so thankful that they are present in my life. There is something special about every single one of those gals. November is a month dedicated to being thankful. Taking that one day out of the year to be thankful is what inspired my Thankful Friday entries. Most weeks it's pretty easy to find something to be thankful for. There were times early in the the Thankful Friday venture where I struggled to find things to be thankful for. I've found that the harder you look for the blessings in your life, the easier they are to see.

So this week, I am thankful for birthdays and beautiful strong women that I can call my friends. I am thankful for the (literally new) roof over our heads. And I am thankful for Trader Joe's caramel dipping sauce.

Happy Friday to all.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Today Chris is picking me up at 3:30. Then, we're going to drive out to Lee Summit and finally, finally!, sign papers to close on our house. That means, by the end of today, we will be home owners. This makes me laugh and cry all at the same time. In fact, I can't really talk about it at all. The words that I have roaming around my brain on this subject makes my throat close up and my eyes burn with tears. I don't think I can type them, let alone re-read them for editing (who are we kidding, I never edit). I've been reading about battles with seasonal depression a lot lately. I usually get a touch of it, but just a dusting that's easily brushed off. This time around has seemed like a bit more than a dusting and I think I've finally realized why. Every year since 2005 we've been visited by a monster. The monster comes and steals our happy. It seemed like his visits were so consistent that I started to brace for them even if they didn't happen. This time around, I have even more to loose if that monster shows up. Do you see how stupid this is? I am waiting for the bad to happen instead of enjoying the good I have. Sabotage. That's what I'm doing.

So here's what I'm thankful for this week. I am thankful for our home. OUR HOME! I am thankful for the clarity to recognize my self sabotage. I am thankful for my strength. Because when and if that monster shows his ugly face around here, I know I can kick his ass. Because I'm strong. Ain't no one's gonna steal my sunshine.

As always I am ever so thankful for you. Have the best weekend and a very Thankful Friday

THANKFUL FRIDAY

The mood is shifting. It could be because it's the end of the week. It might have something to do with carving my pumpkin (all by myself!). It could also be because we have friends visiting us this weekend. Or it could be just because it was time to lift up out of the funk. Whatever the reason, I am thankful. This week I've done little things to boost my mood. I had enough fresh flowers to put some on the kitchen table, the dresser in the bedroom and even a small milk bottle full in the bathroom. I've worn different earrings every day this week. One day I even wore the fancy pearls Chris bought me for Christmas the first year we were married. I always save those for special occasions. This is silly; every day is a special occasion. I bought a new red lipstick and refrained from picking off my lips for one whole day. All of these little things add up and by the end of the week, has become a big pile of happy. I am thankful for all of these things.

And with any luck, this time next week I can be thankful for finally closing on our home (I know!). There is so much in my life to be thankful for, but sometimes it's important to be thankful for the presence of mind to realize this.

I am thankful for all of you. Happy Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I don't think of myself as a writer or photographer, but I realize that in some way I am both of those things. Actually, I am more than those things. This is probably why I avoid those labels. I am not just a writer, or a photographer, or scientist, or a yogini. I am all of this and more. This week, I am thankful for the clarity to realize that it's okay to be all of these things. But what I am even more thankful for is that it's okay to be none of those things. It's easy to get caught up in doing and being, but sometimes I hear the voice of my yoga teacher saying "it's okay to do less". For years I've always felt that I needed permission to do things. I still sometimes ask Chris if it's okay if I do this or that. I remember a student telling me one time that yoga class was worth it just for the time where you are given permission to lie still and rest. It is a lesson that is easy for me to teach, but not always easy to do.

I am thankful for the times this week where I've given myself permission to do less. I am thankful for the moments where I've given myself permission to be still and present in this moment and not dwell on things that need to be done. Because really the only thing that needs to be done is what ever it is I'm doing at that moment. I am thankful for the times I have asked myself "what am I doing right now?".

Those flowers are flowers I give myself permission to buy every week. They bring me joy. Give yourself permission to accept joy and be thankful. Happy Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I have been the busiest at work that I have ever been. Everyday this week, I have left work with a brain of mush. I am thankful that today is Friday. I know I try really hard not to be in camp with the TGIF crowd, but today I have to say "TGIF". I am thankful that tonight, when I lay my head down on the pillow, I will not have to remember to set the alarm. I am thankful that tomorrow I will be able to just open my eyes when I'm good and ready to do so. But I have to say, I am thankful that this week was so busy. I got things accomplished. I wasn't busy fixing things I had messed up. I was busy just doing things and this felt good. It also made the days move by faster and reminded me of why I stopped wearing a watch. I don't have that constant pressure of time looming over my head. I just work and get things done. I am thankful for this.

My evenings have been just as busy. We have met with our landlord almost everyday this week, discussing the next step, signing paperwork and setting dates. We will close on this house at the very end of this month. I am excited, but I also feel a little queasy. I am thankful for our landlord who has worked so hard to get us into this house. I am thankful for the people who are helping us with this venture and I am thankful to finally settle down. No more gypsy.

That's a lot to be thankful for. Happy Thankful Friday!

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Tuesday night, Hooper came in and went straight to bed. He didn't eat his food, didn't even want a cookie. He didn't even want to do his nightly front yard patrol. He had us worried. All night I fretted over having to take him to the vet and how we would pay the $5,000 fee to save his life. The next morning I got up and he'd cleaned his food bowl. He was right as rain. It reminded me of that time he sprained his tail from excessive wagging. We thought he'd broken his tail or had some spinal injury. No, he just wagged his tail too much. Well, today I am thankful that Hooper is OK. I am thankful that he's back to his crazy old self. I realize that Thankful Friday posts get to be random disconnected entries and this one will be no different. I promise. Most of my Friday entries are typed up every week on my iPad. I love my Apple products and the loss of Steve Jobs saddens me. But I am thankful for the things he has brought to this world. I am thankful for his reminder to "think different". I am thankful for his visionary thinking. 

And while I'm at it, I might as well be thankful for technology this week. I should be thankful for this every week. Without my smart phone and gadgets I would be all alone. I wouldn't be able to talk to dad or text with my mom. I wouldn't be able to chat with friends on a daily basis. These little interactions make me happy and I am thankful for each and everyone.

Have a blessed weekend and a very Thankful Friday. 

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I am sitting here wondering what in the world has happened to the month of September. Where exactly did it go? What did I do with this month? Actually, I am thankful to be moving on to October. Mostly because I want some pumpkins. Last week I was lamenting the need for pumpkins and Chris made a grunting noise. I looked over at him and said that I promised to buy "normal" pumpkins this year. He made me double-promise that I would not get a pumpkin that required a Skil saw to carve (like last years).  Also, with any luck, this will be the month we finally close on the house. I have said that every month since July. This time I really mean it. There are plans for visits from friends this month (something else I am thankful for) and it would really be nice to say that they are visiting our house. Not the place where we are squatting.

I think what I am most thankful for this week is how uneventful it has been. There have been no phone calls of bad news. No illness. No catastrophes. Just calm. I like it this way. Even the weather has cooperated and I've been able to ride my scooter to work everyday without incident. I have had to wear socks and a heavy coat, but only for the ride in. It's odd to be living in a place that has an actual Fall season, the kind I'd see on tv. We plan on taking advantage of that starting with apple cider donuts.

I hope that you have had a week to be thankful for. I also hope that you have a weekend full of the same. Have a very thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I have so many things to be thankful for this week. They just don't seem to mesh up together to form a real entry. So, I'm listing them. Let's see how much I can come up with.

1. I am thankful that Chris has survived his first week of exercise.
2. I am thankful Chris has taken initiative.
3. I am thankful for the Reese's Pieces Chris gave me.
4. I am thankful for Chris.
5. I am thankful for the food we've eaten this week. In particular the enchilada casserole Chris made Wednesday night and the apple pie I made on Sunday.
6. I am thankful for my yoga practice this week.
7. I am thankful for the sub we had for Zumba class this week. He was fabulous.
8. I am thankful that we have managed to curtail Hooper's flea infestation without using nasty chemicals.
9. I am thankful for Laundry Thursdays and the juke box at the laundromat.
10. I am thankful for these new hair ties that do not break when I stuff all of my hair into them.
11. I am thankful for cupcake trucks.
12. I am thankful that I wasn't really shot in the foot this week.
13. I am thankful that that smelly guy at the laundromat just moved away from us.

OK. Now I'm just getting ridiculous. As always, I am thankful for all of you. Have the best weekend and the most awesome Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

This was one of those weeks that felt like a long one and short one all at the same time. I know I was busy. I know I accomplished tasks. But it's all so much of a blur, I don't remember what it is I did. This was an odd week. Good, bad, ugly, and good again. We are still in home buyers limbo. The good news and something I'm incredibly thankful for is that the structural engineer that visited our house this week declared the basement to be structurally sound. Woo hoo! We were a bit worried about that one. I think we are now one more step closer to this whole house buying thing.

This week I have been spot on with my yoga practice. Getting up at 5 in the morning, something that usually is easy for me, had recently become very difficult. I'm usually really good at talking myself into doing things that I don't really want to do. When the alarm goes off and I'm just too tired, I can usually convince myself to get up any way. But recently, it has been all too easy to agree with my tired self. Not this week. This week has been a week to find the joy in my practice. This has been a week when I've needed my yoga the most. I am thankful that I have the knowledge to do my own practice. I am thankful my body was willing and able this week.

I am always and forever thankful to have friends and family that love and support me so unconditionally. May your weekend be blessed. Happy Thankful Friday.

THANKFUL FRIDAY

I was watching the National Geographic Channel the other day while walking on the treadmill. They played a promo for all the documentaries they had planned to play to commemorate 9/11. They also asked people send in their tweets for where they were that day. I was at work and they let us all leave. Chris, Todd and I went to Galileo's  for lunch and sat there just watching it all unfold.  I remember being sad and shocked, but also a little detached. I didn't really know anyone in New York. Chrome and Kizz where not yet part of my tribe. I knew of them and hoped they were OK, but I hoped they were OK like I hoped everyone was OK. There have been few times an event has shut down this country. Pearl Harbor. The death of President Kennedy. Just once wouldn't it be nice if the country shut down because something really good happened instead of something bad. Very quickly after that, people started talking about how 9/11 changed everything. It would take another four years for me to feel the full ramifications of that day. Because, yes, 9/11 did change everything. 

Today, I am thankful for the things that didn't change. I am thankful for the people that are part of my life now. I am so thankful for those people that I didn't know then, but know now and that they made it through those terrible events to be a part of my life today. I am thankful for the men and women who took this tragedy as a sign to do something good, to volunteer, to serve their country. I am thankful.