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UNDECLARED

Cindy Maddera

It’s New Year’s Day and I’m currently sitting on my bed with a dog and a cat at my feet, nursing an honest to Gods hangover. Michael told me that he didn’t think I had too many more gin and tonics that normal, but he’s the bartender in the house and sometimes he can’t be trusted. All I know is that I made it to midnight and then went to bed where I spent a good twenty minutes trying to decide if I was going to throw up.

I did not.

I disagree with Michael about the ‘normal’ amount of gin and tonics and can say that last night was a rare occasion, one I will most definitely not be repeating for a really long time. While I haven’t made any actual lists or vision boards for what I want for myself in 2025, I have been thinking long and hard about it. At least one of those wants is health related and I’ve been thinking a lot about my (declining) yoga practice. A common Solstice celebration in yoga is to have a practice of one hundred. Usually it’s one hundred rounds of a sun salutation. Back during the lock down times, I was probably close to doing one hundred rounds of sun salutations a day. Like a hamster on a wheel, I’d be on my mat doing loops and loops of surya namaskara variations because I very much felt like a caged animal. So I’ve been thinking about starting that up again, working my way up to one hundred salutes to the sun every day. This is something that is holding center stage in my mental vision board.

In fact, right now that’s the only thing I’ve got for 2025.

That’s not entirely true. Of course I’d like to work harder at being a better person in 2025 and all that usual blah blah blah. Michael and I would really like to spend Christmas in Paris this year. Frugality is a reasonable thing to paste into a vision board so we can make that Christmas wish come true. I’d also really like to volunteer at a local charity and maybe finally get around to teaching another yoga workshop. The thing is, putting these things down on paper in January, especially when next week’s high is expected to be twenty degrees, feels impossible. I truly believe I was made for hibernation and the time I spend curled up under soft, cozy blankets and pets is time well spent. It’s contemplation time where I think about how to fill in my vision board around one hundred sun salutations.

January is being very January this year. The Cabbage spent most of the week with us with a bad cold. Fever, sore throat, all of the icks. We’ve managed to keep them caged up in their room and they go back to their mom’s today, but winter is coming this weekend. That means Michael and I will be caged up in our house with left over kid germs. I didn’t plan on putting ‘get more colds’ on my board for 2025, nor did I have ‘fumigate the house’ on my board, but here we are. This is how we’re jumping into this new strange year. We’re jumping in with shields and swords, fighting microscopic invaders. Perhaps I should include ‘drink more orange juice’ to the board.

Maybe leave out the vodka.

THE BIRDS

Cindy Maddera

In the late afternoon on Saturday, Michael drove me an hour and half north to see hundreds of thousands of birds. And it was spectacular. I did not see a single Canadian goose for once. Instead, we saw swans, little ducks that I think were surf scooters, eagles and so many snow geese. There was a grass fire and hundreds of thousands of snow geese flying around which made for some dramatic shots. I took a lot of pictures, standing outside, hanging out the truck window, standing in the sunroof. We also passed a number of other photographers, often set up on tripods in various places on the driving loop.

This is when I realized that I am not a wildlife photographer. First of all, I don’t have the gear for it. I could easily spot the photographers who specialize in wildlife photography by the size of their lenses and how they were camped out with plans to be there for a while. I saw one guy remove a lens from the back of his SUV that was the size of a bazooka gun. I was not envious. I was just as happy taking a picture of a lone dead tree in a mostly empty marsh as I was taking pictures of birds. I also really lack the patience for it. I’m not one for camping out for hours to get the “perfect” shot. I’m not mad about any of the pictures I took, but I am not delusional enough send anything off to National Geographic.

And I am perfectly at ease with this knowledge.

I didn’t plan this excursion solely on photography. I wanted to see a million birds in one place, which we did. Every time Michael stopped the truck and we got out so I could take pictures, the thing that hit me was the sound. The honking and chatter of geese was the only sound to be heard, but there was so much more. You would be standing there, mesmerized by a white sea of geese, all noisy and then suddenly the sound would stop. The honking would be replaced with a ‘whoosh’ as all of the birds would lift up out of the water and take flight. There would be almost an absence of sound as they all flapped their wings. It was if they were pulling the sound up and away with them. They would swirl around in the air for a minute or two before they would all land and settle in, sound returning to honks and chatter. It was a complete sensory experience. We left the wildlife refuge and stopped in St. Joseph for dinner at Cajun restaurant, where went in with low expectation. I mean…St. Joseph is a little too far north for southern cuisine. We were seated at one of the best tables and served fired oysters that were breaded and fried like how my mom would make them at Christmas. They didn’t have an extensive list of daiquiris or Abita beer on the menu, but we were happily surprised by the authenticity of their dishes. We left with happy full bellies and then we were home in time for SNL reruns.

When we finally made it back home, Michael asked me if I had a good time. I responded with ‘yes’, but then flipped the question back on him. He said that he had really had a nice time and then he said “More of this, please.” I wrote something in my book club journal yesterday when I was trying to write down responses to “I’d ask _ for a _.” We were supposed to be asking men we knew for something and like many of the women in my book group, I was struggling to think of the men I know/knew and what I’d want from any of them. I finally gave up and started writing my thoughts.

Michael will do anything I ask him to do. He may not do it without grumbling first or with an open heart, but he will do it. I just have to ask.

I asked to see a million birds in one space and he took me to see a million birds in one space.

STUFF THE INTERNET THINKS I NEED RIGHT NOW

Cindy Maddera

I feel like this should be a reoccurring post. Like maybe once a month or so, I’ll give you an update on the ads that flow into all of my social media feeds. Most recently, the Internet believes that I desperately need new bras. This is probably true. I do tend to wear one bra until it is falling apart and even then, I will continue to patch it back together with string, staples, and/or gorilla glue. In return, I am inundated with videos of women of various ages and sizes jumping up and down in a bra. Every time I open Facebook, my timeline becomes work inappropriate. So, the added benefit here is that I just don’t go to Facebook during the day.

Now I will straight up admit that some of the advertising coming my way is my own fault. Yes, I have googled “weight loss + menopause”. I am not menopausal, but I was curious and planning ahead. I am considered perimenopausal and thought that might have something to do with my weight and mood. Which it does, but there’s very little scientific journal articles regarding this topic. This leaves me wide open for all the snake oil ads for losing weight after a certain age. My favorite ones are videos of senior citizens doing jazzercise. I have managed to convince the interwebs that I am indeed sixty five years old. I get all the ads for leak proof under things, as well as all the anti-aging miracles and magic vitamins. Most recently, mushroom coffee has taken an aggressive lead over magic vitamins.

By far, my favorite ads are centered around campers and camp gear. These ads are one hundred percent my fault. Ever since we decided to get rid of our camper, I’ve been window shopping for the next thing. I have a list of wants in mind and I can waste a lot of time scrolling through camper layouts. I’m really leaning towards a van because I want something I could use on my own. I have a growing list of needs and wants. It must include a bathroom. It must be easy to pack and maneuver about. It must be reasonably priced. Of course, this is all subject for change since the list of needs and wants go beyond a new camper. A new driveway. A new kitchen. There’s always something.

Except mushroom coffee. I’d like to think I’m sane enough to never fall for that one.