MOOD

I voted!

13 Likes, 0 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "I voted!"

I finally got around to watching Captain Marvel over the weekend and it was everything I could have hoped for in a superhero movie. It was nice to see a movie where the woman just saves the day (because real life, women mostly are saving the day every day). And by ‘just’, I mean the story line was just about saving people and aliens. There was no romantic interest or reference to sexual preference at all. Carol Danvers is just a regular woman, serving her country in the Air Force and fighting for justice with superpowers. Carol Danvers is just a woman doing her job. This is an unfortunately rare thing to see in a movie.

I read The Lost World by Michael Crichton when it was released in ‘95 and I remember being so excited when the movie came out. In the book, its lead female character is totally badass and saves everyone. The movie version made me want to punch Stephen Spielburg in the balls. The movie version turned the female lead into a dippy idiot who ran around the island with baby T-rex blood on her jacket and then was confused as to why the mother T-Rex was following them. This was 1997 and women were still being portrayed as helpless nincompoops. The things we read and watch are all part of the stuff that molds and shapes us as individuals. It gets in your head that this how you are supposed to be. Women must be a little bit dumb and helpless. Men must be the brut force and saver of the day. All girls are pretty princesses and all boys are rough and tumble frogs.

Except none of that is true.

That day the tornado hit the campground while we were camping, my Mom did not stand by wringing her hands all Laura Petri like. She jumped into action to do whatever she had to do to protect her children. That day Michael and I could hear a cicada buzzing around in my car? I will remind you it was Michael who ran screaming from that car before I even had a chance to put the car into park. I have also been the one woken up in the middle of the night to remove a giant moth from the kitchen. That time I had my brother and sister-in-law come up to help me buy a new car was not because I thought I needed my big brother to stand up to any dealership salesman. It was because I knew it was my sister-in-law who would be standing up to the salesman and making sure I didn’t get screwed over. I could ask any man I know, and this includes the ultra conservative men, if they think they believe their wife/girlfriend/partner is a badass and I could guarantee that everyone of them would reply “Oh yeah, you don’t want to mess with her.” Because they all know how much work she does to keep everyone fed, warm, safe and on time. The reality is that men and women are equally strong and equally capable of saving the day.

Executives will say that no one wants to pay money to see a woman in a non-romantic movie where she is the hero. These same executives push movies and TV shows that propel the stereotypes that woman must fit a specific mold. You want to know why I never got into The Big Bang Theory? I couldn’t get past the female characters in that sitcom. The pretty, fashionable blond woman was ditzy and uneducated, while the women with pHDs were slouchy and wore glasses and orthopedic shoes. None of those women scientists are representative of me, ALSO A WOMAN IN SCIENCE! The bottom line is that the entertainment industry needs new executives.

Because there is no specific mold.

BOSSY NASTY LESBIAN

Go Pussy Grabbers! #aidswalkkc #aidswalkopen2017 #holepatrol

9 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Go Pussy Grabbers! #aidswalkkc #aidswalkopen2017 #holepatrol"

There's some stuff that has been bothering me and I need to rant about those things. On Saturday, while on Hole Patrol, I was using the bullhorn to call up the next team and to remind people to buy raffle tickets and mulligans, a young man snapped his fingers at me. Then he said "ooohhh....bossy authoritative lesbian with a bullhorn!" I paused and said "Wait. What part of this makes me a lesbian?" His reply was that bossy and authoritative obviously meant I was a lesbian. He then hung out at the bar for a bit and would occasionally yell out "that's what a lesbian would say." whenever I said something he thought a lesbian would say.

You guys know me. You know that it doesn't matter a hill of beans if someone thinks I am a lesbian. The part about all of this that got under my skin was the linking of my sexuality to being able to take charge of the current situation. There is also great irony in hearing misogyny come from a gay man. This encounter could have easily just fallen to the way side without mentioning, but the next day I was watching an interview with Kellyanne Conway on CBS Sunday Morning and that dress she wore to the inauguration came up. Kellyanne said that she didn't care what all those black stretchy pant people out there had to say about it. This caused me to shake my head and think "Oh, Kellyanne". Her defense was to say something negative about other women's clothing when her response should have been how ridiculous it is to still be having a conversation about the dress she wore instead of real issues like health care and why she lied about Bowling Green. 

Look, Kellyanne Conway is not one of those women I'd choose to have over for an all girls dinner party, but that has nothing to do with her appearance. I disagree with her ideas and lying. Though it might be interesting to just pick her brain, scientifically speaking that is.  Kellyanne is a strong, hard working woman. She's working a very stressful job (that is taking a tole on her physically; Kellyanne please eat a sandwich). She's in the process of moving her husband and three children to Washington while two of those children are begging to not make that move. This could be any one of us. Disagree with her policies and her words, but hurling tweets at her like "you're a whore" or "you stupid bitch" makes you no better than this current president. A negative plus a negative does not equal a positive.

During the campaign, an hour after telling the American people how much respect Trump had for women, he called Hillary Clinton a 'nasty woman' during a PRESIDENTIAL debate. Does any one know what prompted Trump to call her this? 

CLINTON: Well, Chris, I am on record as saying that we need to put more money into the Social Security Trust Fund. That's part of my commitment to raise taxes on the wealthy. My Social Security payroll contribution will go up, as will Donald's, assuming he can't figure out how to get out of it. But what we want to do is to replenish the Social Security Trust Fund . ..

TRUMP: Such a nasty woman.

CLINTON: . . .  by making sure that we have sufficient resources, and that will come from either raising the cap and/or finding other ways to get more money into it. I will not cut benefits. I want to enhance benefits for low-income workers and for women who have been disadvantaged by the current Social Security system . ..

Trump called Hillary Clinton a 'nasty woman' because her ideas on how to handle social security did not align with his own ideas and included a side eye to his non-disclosed taxes. Which he still has not disclosed, but that's another rant. Now, many of us women may have taken that phrase back and have turned it into something positive. We also use it to make sure no one ever forgets the misogyny of this president. So...for the people who just don't understand, let me put it as simply as possible: a man calling a woman 'nasty' or 'bitch' or 'bossy lesbian' simply because she has said something he disagrees with is misogynistic. 

Equality is more than just about a paycheck. It is about respect and an acknowledgement to an equal contribution to our communities, our society and to great innovative ideas that make our communities and society a better place. We all want equality regardless of gender, race, religion and or sexuality. The positive and negative impacts we make are a choice.

Choose to be better.