TOURISTS AND MEMORIALS

Instagram post by Cindy Maddera * Feb 26, 2018 at 5:00pm UTC

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There were two places on Michael's list of things he wanted to see in New York that made me pull a face when he said he wanted to see them. One was Times Square. I will admit that I like my fair share of super touristy things, particularly the kitschy stuff, but Times Square is the worst. It's loud and crowded and there are too many TV screens with bright lights flashing advertisements. I believe that actual New Yorkers avoid this area like the plague. We shuffled through on our last evening in the City and Michael now agrees with me. You have to at least experience it once. Every time I think about Times Square, I remember the time that Taluara and I had to walk through to get to a ticket office. A woman stopped Talaura and said "Excuse me, but can you tell me how to get to Times Square?" Talaura replied with "look around, you're here." Then the woman said "No, no...the place where they drop the ball at New Year's" Talaura made a face and then pointed all around "Here. You are in that spot." and then we muscled our way on through the crowd, sighing with relief on the other side.

The second thing on Michael's list was to visit the 9/11 Memorial. Though I have heard that it is a beautiful memorial, it was just something I didn't care to visit. Still, I put on a brave face and went with Michael. That day started out really well. We had a breakfast of lox and bagels at the Chelsea Market. We took a cab from there down the World Trade Tower and stood across the street for bit so I could take pictures. There was a man with a thick German accent waiting with us at the cross walk on that side of the street. He asked me what camera I was using because he was going to let me use his wide angle lens. Unfortunately we did not have compatible cameras, but I was floored that he was just going to offer up the use of thousand dollar lens to a complete stranger. We finally crossed the street and headed over to the memorial.

We stepped up to edge of the memorial and immediately iron bands wrapped around my chest and started to squeeze. I turned on my heel and managed to gasp out "I can't" as I stepped away from the edge of the memorial, leaving Michael standing there slightly at a loss. He asked "are we leaving?" I replied "No. You look and see what you need to see here. I'll just stand over here because I cannot look down into that." By this point, tears were streaming down my face even though I was trying to keep a lightness to my voice and not make a scene. Michael walked over and put his arms around me and we stood like this for a few minutes while I composed myself. I noticed a couple standing with their backs to the memorial, smiles on their faces with their selfie stick raised high. It all made me slightly nauseous and Michael said "let's move on." So we left the main memorial and headed towards a building that looked like it was made of whale bones called The Wings of Hope. Once we were inside, we quickly realized we were in a mall and this left a bad taste in both of our mouths because we thought we were walking into a memorial of some kind. We quickly moved on to look at the Brooklyn Bridge.

The other night I dreamed that J was still alive. He'd been lost in Iraq all this time and when they found him, he was sick. Sand had coated his lungs and he couldn't breath. I was trying to make it to the hospital to talk to him before the doctors intubated him. I woke up with a start, my heart pounding in my chest, my checks damp. I was disoriented and even thought for a second that it was possible J was still alive somewhere in Iraq. Except it's not possible. I remembered my brief glance down into the 9/11 Memorial and how in that very brief glance all I could see was ash and bodies and how this one horrific event changed the molecular structure of the whole country. The impact would have seismic waves that would last and will last for years.

Like a never ending tsunami. 

WHERE'S MY CHEESE

Peek a boo

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There are only two people at work this morning: me and one of my bosses. Everything got coated in a layer of ice yesterday and today there might be snow. Schools are closed due to weather. Many people are out with the flu. I left for New York with a tiny cough that turned into a big cough with a fever. So I spent two days of my trip downing cold/flu medicine and pretending that I didn't really feel that bad. After taking Sarge on a really long walk on Friday, I gave up with the pretense and laid on the couch for the rest of the day. I was feeling a whole lot better by the time Michael showed up late Friday night, even though I sounded terrible. Sure, there were many times over the following two days where I was forced to breath through my mouth and I had to, at times, resort to using napkins for Kleenex. 

Today, I am back to the daily grind and I am a little bit lost. I've had to look up the day's date four times this morning. I've probably asked "what day is this?" twenty times before noon. I have a whole lot of pictures to sort and edit. I have a whole lot of brain thoughts to sort and edit. I have a whole bunch of new pins to attach to my backpack. Here's the abridged version of two days in New York, until I can get all of those other things taken care of.

• Steps taken over two days: 46,833.
• Ethnic foods consumed: Indian, Thai, Chinese, Italian, Jewish Kosher Deli, American (?)
• Things we saw: The Museum of Natural History, Central Park, Central Station, Tiffany's, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Chelsea Market, 9/11 Memorial, St. Paul's Chapel, Jacob Mould Fountain, New York City Hall, The Brooklyn Bridge, Stone Street, African Burial Ground National Monument, Trinity Church, New York Stock Exchange, The Charging Bull and little girl statue, Federal Hall, Battery Park, Castle Clinton National Monument, The Statue of Liberty, The Stonewall, Theodore Roosevelt's Birthplace National Historic Site, Washington Square Park/Arch, The Strand bookstore, The Flatiron Building, The Empire State Building, Times Square. I'm sure I'm missing something.
• The number of National Park Stamps acquired: three
• Pairs of pants purchased: one
• Pairs of arch inserts purchased: one

I think we did a good job of cramming in as much as possible over the two days of our visit. And once I'm back to a state of mind where I can remember what day it is, I'll tell you more about it. 

LOVE THURSDAY

I was on the fence about taking my Nikon with me to New York. Up until the day before I was leaving, I still didn't know. There is a section of gmail chat between me and Talaura that goes something like this.

• Me: I'm not bringing my Nikon. I am bringing my Nikon. 
• Talaura: Oh for the love of Pete, Woman!

It's possible Talaura didn't actually say "for the love of pete", but we both agreed that I would bring my Nikon. I just wouldn't carry it with me on conference days. This seemed like a reasonable solution. Also it would give me incentive to get it out and use it. If I'm going to lug that thing all the way to New York City, I better use it. And I did. Sunday morning Sarge was very patient with me as we walked through Ft. Tryon park and I kept stopping to take this or that picture. I used it all day on Monday while I walked the Highline and all through Chinatown. Sometimes I'd have the strap of my Nikon looped around my neck and my iPhone tucked into my bra strap, at the ready to shoot with either weapon of choice. 

I knew there were pictures I was taking that would turn out great and I knew that there were some in the bunch that would just be mediocre. There were times I was frustrated with lighting and times I was frustrated by the limitations of my current lens. I really need to replace the lens on my Nikon. Then there where moments where I spent time on setting up a particular shot knowing that this was going to be a great picture. Like the one I took while standing in the middle of the street. In New York City's Chinatown. "Get in the car Cindy." Really, when I'm taking pictures with the Nikon, I don't know if the images are going to turn out to be keepers. Yes it s a DSLR, but the screen on the back is too small to tell me much other than if the image is too bright or too dark. So in a way it's still kind of like working with a film camera. I'm not really sure about what I'm going to get until I get the pictures loaded onto my computer for editing. 

That picture above is one of the ones I took in Chinatown. I remember being rushed in taking it. So I am surprised that it turned out the way it did. It is one of my favorite shots taken that day. I think this is because there is so much going on in the picture. The man behind the window is busy stirring trays of food. The cars reflected in the window are zooming down the street. The lights are streaky, giving the whole image an appearance of motion. This picture is motion. Then if you look closely, you can see my reflection in the window. Me and the roasted birds are the only things still in this picture. My gangling arms are holding the camera to my eye with my elbows jutting out at dangerous angles. It took me several minutes to even recognize myself in this picture.  I am dressed as the teenage version of me.  Shorts, t-shirt, sandals. Even my hair is the same, though you can't really tell that here. I don't cringe at this reflection. In fact I think "You are totally rockin' that R2-D2 t-shirt, Cindy." Age shmage. 

Happy Love Thursday!