WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

Yes. I still have a cough and it is just part of who I am now. So let us all just accept the way we are in this moment and move on with our lives. That’s really all I have to say. My brain is on a creativity strike and quite possibly all of the creative brain cells are forming a list of concerns and needs to be negotiated with management as we speak (figuratively). I’ve been doing work stuff. I’ve been doing stuff around the house. Yesterday, I spent the whole morning working in the garage, throwing way stuff and organizing some other things. I made sure to leave a giant pile of tools for Michael to deal with. I told him ages ago that if he cleaned out the garage, I would get him a bike stand for working on the bicycles. So far, I am the one earning the bike stand.

I guess I should add ‘learn to fix bicycles’ to my list of things to do.

I have been doing a little bit of learning these days. Maybe that’s why the creativity brain cells aren’t working. They’re not on strike; they’re just taking a vacation so I can learn some stuff while they sip cocktails from pineapples or coconuts. Michael and I started our Duolingo accounts back up and have been learning Spanish. We discussed a number of languages, but felt Spanish was the was most practical. When our new washer was delivered, the guy doing the actual install did not speak much English. He had to call in his helper to translate some issues with the connections. This happened many months ago, but I still feel embarrassed by the whole thing, because I felt like I should know more Spanish than I actually do. Okay, maybe it’s been twenty years since I took Spanish 101 and I never really used what I learned. I still felt inadequate in the moment. At least now I can say “Yo hablo Spanish, un poquito. Ve despacio, por favor.”

I also spent some time looking over the primaries ballot for Kansas City, which is happening next Tuesday. Because the ballot contains a list of a bunch of different people running for a bunch of different things, I needed know who was who and what was what. I have sort of been hyper fixated on getting rid of our current Attorney General because he is garbage. He refuses to let innocent people out of prison, but instead spends his time filing frivolous lawsuits against Planned Parenthood. I’ve emailed him so many times that the staff has just put me on their mailing list. I constantly get a newsletter detailing his weekly activities to which I usually respond “Stop waisting my tax dollars on lawsuits and free Christopher Dunn!” Anyhoo…I spent a good amount of time reading about who is on my primary ballot and deciding who and how I was voting. I even printed out a ballot and circled things.

Yes. I am that person who studies for voting.

So…that’s some stuff I’ve been doing in between work and illness and watching way too much TV. I’m learning stuff, but mostly I’m learning to lower my own expectations for myself. This is always the lesson. I will never be the valedictorian of self kindness and I will always be taking You’re Doing Enough 101.