ANIMALS

Last year was the first year where the veterinarian did not lecture me about Josephine’s weight. Every year we go in for her yearly exam, Josephine comes in two pounds over weight on the scale and then her doctor spends fifteen minutes telling me that Josephine needs to be eating the most expensive diet food. The year before last, I switched Josephine to a reasonably priced diet food. Except I felt bad about the dry kibble, so I started mixing a little wet food to give her a ‘gravy’. I fed it to her twice a day and the veterinarian said at the last wellness exam that Josephine’s weight was good. I fist pumped the air and gave Josephine an extra treat. We had entered into straight up lock down and I figured that all the walks we were taking would counter act the effects of extra treats that seemed to fall down from the sky for her.

And it did, until it didn’t.

When the cat had his car accident, we started feeding him cans of Fancy Feast, crack food for cats. We had been desperate to get him to eat anything. His body wilted down to a frail and skinny version of himself that had both of us terrified. So we fed him the crack and he ate it up as long as it wasn’t salmon flavored. Now the cat expects his Fancy Feast daily along with the dry kibble he used to eat. Basically, he never wants his bowl to be empty. The result is that the cat is no longer frail and skinny, but quite hefty. I said something to Michael about the other day and Michael said that the cat just looked fat because of all his winter hair. While it is true the cat’s winter coat has come in fierce and he even looks like he has a lion’s main, he is heavy. I had to pick him up and remove him from my bed recently and it was work. I watched the cat cross the backyard and find a place to settle near the fire pit. He looked massive. Then the cat and one of the chickens had a staring contest. I really thought that the cat was going to try to take down a chicken. He didn’t, but it was a tense staring match.

Josephine’s weight started increasing when she realized that she could reach the cat’s food bowl. The cat is a grazer and often leaves his food behind while he goes and takes a break. If you are not paying attention, Josephine will sneak into the kitchen and eat all the cat’s food. We know it is her because the cat never cleans a bowl and Josephine always leaves a happy plate. We’ve taken to setting the cat food bowl up on the kitchen counter when we think the cat’s finished eating, but now the cat gets up on the counter. So be it. I’ve adjusted Josephine’s evening meal to just plain old kibble. I have to stir the kibble around with my finger before I set it down for her to eat. The first time I just set the kibble down, she looked at me with her head cocked to the side in question. I picked up the bowl, swirled the kibble around and set it back down. She shrugged and then ate all of the kibble. My plan is to get Josephine down to whatever weight is needed so the vet won’t lecture me when I take her in for wellness exam in a few months. If pretending to mix in wet food with Josephine’s dry food gets us there, so be it.

It seems we live in a society where even our pets need be on special diets. I feel the same way about this as I feel about the food I put into my own body. I rarely over indulge. Meals are filled with greens and rarely come out of a box. I splurge on cheese and good chocolate. I enjoy the occasional potato chip. I don’t see why this philosophy can’t apply to Josephine. Forget the cat. We let him do what he wants. Josephine is more one of us. I don’t go overboard with treats for her. She gets two little biscuits in the morning before work. All other treats are things that fall onto the kitchen floor or at Micheal’s feet. Sure, she’s been known to steal half a sandwich or drink a whole bowl of unguarded cheese dip, but haven’t we all? I’m sure Josephine regrets all of her binge moments just as much I regret my own occasional binge moments.

Like I said. She’s one of us.