PARTLY CLOUDY
Cindy Maddera
I started a new journal on my iPad which I titled ‘The Happiness Journal’. I haven’t written much, just a few lines really. I asked myself questions on wants and what it is about this current life that is keeping me from at least feeling content. I made a short list of ways to remove or lift this cloud of negativity that seems to just hover and envelop this body. There are three actions written down.
Move away from the negative energy coming from others.
Salt baths.
Spend at least five minutes at the end of each day acknowledging the good moments of the day.
I’m already changing number one to ‘Dance away from the negative energy coming from others’. The idea of busting a crazy dance move or shuffle ball changing away from someone complaining or bitching about something is hilarious. It's making me laugh right now and I haven’t even had a chance to implement it. I’m scratching ‘salt baths’ from the list because I hate baths. Number three is a work in progress. I have not bothered to answer the questions I asked myself, partly because I don’t know. Partly because I am not ready for the answers or the consequences of those answers. I look at my paltry journal entry and think about all of the beautiful journaling I see people doing. Doodles and colors. Neat handwriting. My journals always end up being unreadable. If you can decipher my hieroglyphic penmanship, you will be privileged to reading a dry, straight forward accounting of the day. Even my personal journals end up reading like one of my scientific journals where I write the details of implementing an experiment.
My day, my life, ends up as another protocol.
That seems fitting.
I am trying to be less clinical and scientific with this particular journal. Today’s entry was a description of the view out my office window. I drew a an orange leaf in one corner and a green and brown acorn. This entry was more of building a set and less experimental design than my usual efforts. It is a work in progress. Maybe it will help me answer the questions I asked myself earlier. Maybe it won’t. Maybe my handwriting will improve to legible. There are a lot of possibilities. The best possibility is that it will end up being a nice distraction from the daily COVID case numbers (y’all know I still have access to that data, right?).
Wear a mask.
Wash your hands.
Be like that Police song Don’t Stand So. Except in the non-creepy teacher kind of way. Don’t be the creepy teacher.