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I DRANK LACTOSE FREE WHOLE MILK FOR A WEEK AND HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED

Cindy Maddera

5 Likes, 1 Comments - Cindy Maddera (@elephant_soap) on Instagram: "Tea and writing notes"

I get a lot of junk email because I went through a phase where I entered a contest every day or so. Some times I open a few of those emails and there always seems to be at least one article in the email that starts with "I drank blah blah blah for a week..." or "I ate this..." or "I started getting up at the same time...." I've fallen for the click bait sometimes because I do wonder what happens if you use a charcoal pore strip on your nose every day (don't) or if you eat raw meat every day. Most of these articles end on a positive note. The author is usually pretty happy with the results of giving up sugar or eating more fat or whatever the newest trend is. This post is not like those articles.

I wash down my breakfasts of pancakes or tofu scramble every day with a glass of almond milk. I used to use soy milk, but I started to get weird and weepy. Something about estrogen. I don't need help with the weepy thing or even the weird thing. So almond milk it is. Last week, Michael and I went grocery shopping and Trader Joe's was completely out of Almond milk. They didn't even have an empty space for it in the dairy section which caused me to panic. Michael checked with an employee who said something about getting a new distributor. In the meantime I needed to find a substitute. So Michael pointed to the lactose free whole milk and said "what about that?!" I looked skeptical and said "Ahhh....I don't know." So into the cart it went. I also made a very unhappy face that Michael said I should never make again. 

Growing up, I always had the option of milk or orange juice with breakfast. I always chose orange juice, mostly because I didn't really like milk. My mom was not concerned about calcium or vitamin D deficiency because I was one of those weird kids who liked to eat broccoli and spinach, most vegetables, really. I would occasionally have a glass of milk with a chocolate chip cookie or with crumbled up cornbread, but I was never one to go "Mmmmm...a big glass of milk!" Now the only time I drink milk is if it's the cotton candy milk from Shatto. That's not very often and it always makes me sick to my stomach. Which is why I made that very unhappy face as Michael put the lactose free milk into the cart. I was skeptical that 'lactose free' would make any difference in how my gut reacts to milk.

And I was right! Lactose free means nothing! NOTHING! I spent the whole week bloated up like a balloon with a crampy gut. It also tasted like I was drinking cream instead of milk. I couldn't figure out if this was because I hadn't had actual milk in so long that I forgot what milk tastes like or if this particular milk tasted weird. Later, when I'd given up on the milk, Michael had a glass of it and confirmed that milk tasted weird. So, I am back to almond milk. Thankfully it was back in stock at Trader Joe's this weekend. 

I've just written post that goes against one of the first rules of blogging and that is no one cares what you had for lunch. Or what you drank for week.