CROUCHING TIGER
Cindy Maddera
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I left work a little early yesterday so I could go rescue Josephine from the groomer's. It started raining right as I pulled out of the parking garage. By the time I made it to Brookside Barkery, it was pouring buckets. I managed to do a crap job of parallel parking on the curb right outside from the Barkery and I sat there a minute trying to decide my best exit strategy. Do I have an umbrella? Nope! Do I have my rain jacket? That's another Nope! I am never prepared for weather of any kind. I went to Oklahoma this weekend without a sweater or jacket because it is late May and Oklahoma in late May is summer. Except it wasn't. I ended up wearing Mom's sweaters, one of which I stole and may never give back.
I've got nothing to keep me from getting soaked. I look over at the passenger seat and then out the passenger window. It's probably two giant leaps from my car to the safety of the storefront awning. I pull myself up and climb over the center console and step into the passenger seat. Now I am crouched in the front passenger seat with my wallet clutched in my teeth and my hand on the door handle. I am ready to pounce. At this moment I am hesitating because i have a couple of thoughts running through my head. First of all, would you look at this 41 year old body and it's ability to climb up into this position in the first place?! Yoga! Secondly, I am thinking about all of the things that can go wrong. In my head, I see myself springing from the car like a cat, but the reality could very well be that I end up rolling out of my car like a hedgehog.
The rain is not letting up. In fact, it is getting worse. I have to take action. So...I fling open the car door and I actually do spring out of my car and in two hops I am under that awning. There's a crowd inside my head totally cheering and imaginary hands pat me on the back. It truly was an amazing display of athleticism and grace. I know you're probably waiting for the part where I tell you I tripped and fell in a puddle or slammed into the glass door of the Barkery or something slapstick. None of those things happened. AND NO ONE WAS THERE TO WITNESS IT! No one saw or video taped my amazing feat of grace or my ninja skills.
So...you'll just have to take my word for it.