RESOLVE
Cindy Maddera
Last year for New Year's Eve, I was in bed before the boom of the fireworks started. The house was so still and silent. By then, I'd grown used to the silence created by Chris's absence, but I wasn't quite used to the silence of a missing Hooper. There was no tappa tappa of his feet on the hard wood floors, no snores from his bed. That New Year's Eve sounded very much like that time Hooper and I were alone in our little rent house on Mallard when that huge ice storm hit and our power went out. Hooper and I laid in my bed listening to the crack of limbs outside. That was the only sound, no hum of heaters or cars driving by. This New Year's Eve was not rowdy, but it was not quiet. And I was not alone. The real miracle was that I actually stayed awake to ring in the New Year right, with a sip of Champagne and a proper kiss. We ate stuffed mushrooms and steamed crab legs with baked potatoes and we talked about our resolutions for 2014. Those of of you who've been reading this blog for years know that I always have a hard time setting resolutions. I feel like making a list of resolutions is just asking for failure and disappointment. Instead I usually list some things that I'll try to work on in the next year. I call them "I'll tries". This year though, I'm feeling the need to be held accountable for a few things. I let myself fall into some bad slacker habits in 2013 and it's starting to take it's toll on my health. I went from eating a whole lot of nothing to eating just a whole lot. As a result, my skinny jeans are truly skinny jeans and I feel sluggish and rollie pollie. My yoga practice has been sketchy. Rarely do I ever have a week where I am consistent with a daily practice. I've gotten slouchy. Michael gets onto me way too often for walking around with slumped over shoulders. It's always worse when I'm tired, but these days I'm always tired. My kapha dosha is out of control.
So my first resolution for 2014 is to get my health back under control. That means eating less cheese and more tofu (sorry Michael). That means yoga mat every day and finding time for more than a daily walk. I need to run or ride that dang bicycle. I don't see the bicycle thing happening until winter is over. So maybe the couch to 5K needs to happen (treadmill). I remember at one time wanting to run and I think I still want to do that. But it doesn't stop there. This is something really embarrassing to admit, but I think the last time I was at the dentist was to get my wisdom teeth removed. I was a senior in HS. I haven't been to the dentist in 20 years. I brush twice a day and floss every day. I don't drink a lot of soda or eat a lot of candy. That's no excuse I know, but it has made it easier to shrug off the idea of a dental visit, particularly when I haven't really had any problems with my teeth (knock on wood). This year for real is the year of the dentist and probably the optometrist. Why not? It's been a while since I've had these eyes tested and it's kind of important that I see things in my line of work. I'm making 2014 the year of good health or at least the year of getting to good health.
The second resolution I have for 2014 is more writing. It's time to finish that book. I have enough material now to do some editing and filling in and finishing up. I have a couple of writing projects that need to be finished. They are just hanging there waiting for more words. I started a piece for the Listen To Your Mother series that I need to finish up before the submissions deadline. There's a bit of fiction that I started forever ago that has some real potential. I want to finish up with these projects before I start on a project that's been rambling around in my head for some time now. I think it's important to finish up some things before forging ahead with the new one.I have a feeling this new project is going to take up way more time and I can see myself getting side tracked. This year will be a year for finishing up projects, even the knitting ones (yes, Michael I am finishing that dang scarf, I swear it).
My last resolution for 2014 is to get back in the habit of a daily meditation practice and creative journaling. Robin gave me a brand new journal for Christmas. It's a beautiful book that her mom made with an elephant tapestry cover and clean white pages that beg for printed pictures and colorful words. I'm linking meditation and journaling together because I noticed that when I'm working in my creative journal, I am actually meditating. Also, I'd like to get in the habit of printing out some of my Instagram pictures. Printing them out for the journal gives me a good excuse do exactly that.
The rest of my plans for 2014 include some traveling, some money saving, some cleaning out and some serious house purchasing. I'm going to try harder to pay attention to current events. I'm going to work at putting the phone down and picking up the Olympus. I'm going to be better at conversation. One of Michael's biggest complaints is that I don't talk to him. I think he learned one of the reasons why I don't say much during our most recent trip to OK. I want to be better at voicing those words that usually just seem easier for me to write. His second complaint is that he thinks I don't listen to him because he doesn't see any physical sign that I am. I want to fix that. I want him to know that I'm listening to the things he's saying. I want to edit and update the old Life List. I want to worry less. I want to renew my Yoga Alliance teacher card. Woa...the more things I write down here, I realize the more things that I want. I want a lot for 2014. But more than anything, I want happiness and peace for all of you. And better posture.
Bring on 2014!