TUESDAYS WITH SATAN

Last week I had a dream that I delivered a pizza to these two guys in a big fancy house. They made me step inside the foyer to wait while the fished out enough money to pay for the pizza. I knew right away that there was something not quite right happening here. They tried to talk me into staying and partying with them and I could see an array of drugs strung out on the coffee table. One of them grabbed my phone from my hand and said "Oh look! The battery is almost dead. I'll put it on the charger and that way you'll have to stay for at least one drink". The other one just kept crowding me and I was just about to shove him away when both of the guys just dropped dead. One minute they were standing there being annoying and the next they were crumpled to the floor like puppets with cut strings. I stood stock still, looked down at the bodies and then over to where my phone sat charging. There stood a well dressed man with my phone in his hand and a puzzled look on his face. "What are you doing in my house?" He asked.

As I looked at him, I noticed that his face kept shifting and changing. I had a good idea who this man was. He was the Devil or Satan or whatever you want to call him. I told him that I had just come to deliver the pizza and that I had no idea it was his house. He then invited me to sit on the couch for a chat. Maybe "invite" isn't the right word. He politely forced me to sit on the couch for a chat. It was a large L-shaped couch and I sat at the far end of the L, both feet firmly planted on the floor, back straight, ready to jump up at a moments notice. He sat casually with one ankle resting on the opposite knee and his suit smoothed down just so. As Satan plucked away imaginary lint from his suit, he asked me why he shouldn't kill me. I told him that it depends on his reason. I said that if he was planning on killing me because he thought I had something to do with those two yahoos he'd just dropped, then he'd be wrong. Then I said "but if you're planning on killing me just for the sake of killing someone, well... then I don't have a good reason for not doing it." He lifted an eyebrow as he looked at me and said "Interesting. People always plead and bargain with me for their lives." I just shrugged and said "I have good reasons for myself to stay alive. They just may not be good reasons for you to keep me alive. Besides if you wanted to kill me, you'd kill me." At this, the Devil completely relaxed back into the couch with a heavy sigh. He said "You know? It was never my intention to be evil. I never really set out to be the Devil." I replied "Well...I think this is true of all people. Most of us generally start the day with the intention to be a good person." And that's when the Devil looked at me and said "you should be more scared of me" and then a demon of some sorts jumped out of thin air and screamed in my face. It startled a yelp from me and I jolted awake.

I laid there staring at the ceiling and thinking about that dream. I really wanted to see where my conversation with Satan was heading. I mean, when I mentally make a list of famous people I'd like to have at a dinner party, Satan isn't usually on that list, but maybe he should be. Yes, he can be a bit scary what with his whole making people drop dead thing and that pulling scary demons out of thin air like a magician pulls coins out from behind ears. But in general, he seemed like an interesting guy. I also felt kind of bad for him. He really did seem disheartened with how things have turned out with him being all evil and having that whole bad guy reputation. I almost wanted to give him a chance to redeem himself but then I remembered that mean little demon trick he'd pulled and I rolled over onto my side, closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

Three things I learned from that dream:

1. I have reasons to stick around on this planet. 2. I really do believe that everybody starts their day with the intention of being a good person. And 3. I shouldn't eat Ethiopian food for dinner.