ALL WE CAN DO IS KEEP BREATHING
Cindy Maddera
The last thing you want to read is a to-do list of things I need to do. I came home with a mission. First step: clean the house! The Christmas tree is still up. Balls of Hooper hair random roll across the floor like tumbleweeds. Actually, our living room is very much like an old Western. The house. It's making my skin crawl. But that's not the real problem. The real problem comes down to time. We only got back home yesterday and I started back to work today. Everything from our trip is unpacked, the refrigerator cleaned out, and things put back in storage that goes in storage. I took care of all of this before allowing myself to collapse on the couch. And this is when I realize I'm out of shape. Not physically really, maybe mentally. You see, Chris is still sick and probably will be for another month. This means all physical labor required, right down to grocery shopping, is done by me and me alone. I'm not used to it. I know there was a time (B.C. = before Chris) when I did all this stuff by myself and I know I have friends who deal with this everyday. But I've let myself get a bit lazy. I got used to someone helping me out. And now that it feels like I have more to do, I also feel like I'm further behind.
Then I think "behind on what and whose time schedule?!". Mine? Why do I need to get this stuff done right this minute? I'm not going any where. Chris is definitely not going any where for a while. No parties. No concerts. No eating out. We're on a tight budget. All of this means I have time and plenty of it. It's a reminder that all I can do is keep breathing. Just like going to the gym. It takes some practice and getting used to, but it gets easier every time you get on that treadmill. One step at a time.