FANTASY DATE WITH DAVID SEDARIS

When we found out that David Sedaris was doing a book signing at our local Borders, we made plans weeks in advance to attend. Those weeks leading up to the event left me with plenty of time to daydream and fantasize about what the whole book signing was going to be like. In my head, I imagined an intimate group of around 20 people showing up. Mr. Sedaris would then have to strike up a conversation with me and Chris and then become so charmed by the two of us that we'd all go out for drinks, talking and laughing well into the night.

The reality was over a hundred people crowed and herded into a line to wait for hours (our total wait time was 6 hrs) for an opportunity to say hello to David Sedaris and have him sign a copy of his book. And it was worth the wait. I don't know how that man did it, but he managed to spend a few minutes talking with each and every person that passed through that line. Unfortunately, by the time it was our turn, I was so stupid tired that I couldn't form coherent sentences. Remember that scene in Dirty Dancing where Baby carries in a watermelon and then all she can say is "I carried a watermelon"? Yeah, it was like that. He asked for a joke, so I let Chris take that one and he told a really bad version of a-horse-walks-into-a-bar. David Sedaris didn't even crack a smile. I'm sure we made it into his daily diary as "Most Awkward Cake Couple". But hey! We made it into his diary right?!?

Actually, I'm really glad about the turn out to the book signing. OK, so it totally messed up the plans of taking Mr. Sedaris out for drinks and a potential 365 day picture. But I would have felt really bad if there were only 20 people in this state who know and love his works like we do. We also had a nice time laughing and chatting with other people in line. There was a woman in front of us who looked to be in her 20s, but was really 39 and she has 9 kids. 9 KIDS! No multiples and the oldest is 18 with the youngest being 3. Holy Crap!

And? DAVID SEDARIS SIGNED MY BOOK!