BECAUSE I'M STUPID

We've been telling Mrs. Swan how great IKEA is and that we would take her one day to bask in the glory that is IKEA. Well, that day has arrived and I'm starting to get a little panicky because it's not just going to be the three of us. My mom and Katrina are coming and then I found out last night that Chris's brother and his family are tagging along too. Mom and Mrs.Swan together I can handle. Katrina is no problem. Love her. I need her there for support and back-up. She's my inner bitch who actually says the things I'm thinking out loud. Brian and Amiee, I'm not so sure about. I haven't even seen them since I found my ornament trash. I haven't said anything to Mom about it either (she is going to be soooo pissed!). I don't want this to be the time for confrontation. Well... actually I never want confrontation, that's why I make a pretty darn good door mat.

So here's my game plan. First, they are going in a separate car (whoosh). Once at IKEA, I loose them amongst the kitchen displays. If I am required to interact with them I will say things like "I am so proud of this country for electing Obama" and "Isn't it just great that Obama won the election?!?". Amiee reads Ann Coulter (I know, vomit right?!). I'm hoping that by the time we leave IKEA, she will be so fed up with me that they won't tag along with us to REI and Pappadeux's. I think this is a solid plan. And if that doesn't work, I'll shove them into a Hopen/Komplement with Katrina. It will be like the Thunder Dome with Katrina being the soul survivor.