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WOULD LIKE AN EXTRA HELPING OF GUILT WITH THAT?

Cindy Maddera

This weekend I held a baby shower for my best friend (Steph) at my mom's. My mother's house was full with family and friends and food... so much food... too much food. The baby shower went well. I love Steph's two aunts (maybe even great aunts, not sure). They're kind of a picture of what Steph and I will be like in our old age, constantly concerned for each other, but bickering and picking on one another. They're like cartoon characters. I also got to finally meet the newest member of the family, Lucas, who is three months old already. Cati (Steph's little girl) was totally enamored and told my sister-in-law that she was going to have a baby brother soon too. Katrina's so great with little ones. She propped Cati up on the couch and plopped little Lucas down on Cati's lap so she could get the hang of holding a baby. Lucas was great. He just smiled and chewed on his hands and farted as he got passed all around.

There's a scene in Nightmare Before Christmas where Sally has to sew herself back together after jumping from the window. This is how I feel after a weekend with my family. I feel like there's never enough of me or enough time to talk and get caught up with each and every one. Part of this is my own fault because I don't go home as often as I used to, so they don't see me very often. Since the last time I saw them, my great-nephew's voice has changed (sounds just like J), a baby was born, and my niece started talking again (she'd been doing the uncommunicative teenager bit). It's just so much easier to deal with them on an individual basis. I really feel guilty about not spending enough time with Dad this weekend, who for some reason kept asking me if I was hungry every time he saw me (what's up with that?!). But Dad can't miss a day of peanut sales from the flea market.

At the end of it all, I packed up the car with twice as much stuff as I came with including a large bag of guilt. And when I had made it home, I started stitching myself back together.