PRINTS

New prints

"New prints"

Back in the days before digital, we printed out our pictures, kids. We had to! It was the only way to see them. You put this little roll like thing called "film" into a camera and each roll of film let you take like 24 shots or something like that and you never new how your pictures where going to turn out until you got them back from the photo lab at the local Walmart. As a result, my mother's house was full of boxes and boxes of pictures of total crap images. Pictures of thumbs. Unrecognizable landscapes. Blurry. Half a picture bleached out. We had boxes full of these kinds of pictures, but that was just how it was. There was no editing or choosing before print. Also, film and printing didn't seem all that cheap at the time. Getting a roll of film developed was a bit of a luxury. 

As a kid, I was well aware of the cost and hassle of printing a roll of film. Being aware of all of that made me really choosy about taking a picture. So choosy that I often wouldn't even take a picture. My mom would send me to camp with a camera and couple of rolls of film and I'd come home with twelve shots left on the original roll of film. During all the 4-H years, they liked you to include pictures in your record books. Every time I went somewhere or did something 4-H, mom would once again send me with the camera and several rolls of film. Still I'd come home with empty rolls of film. My mother would beg me to take pictures. Yes. There was a time when I had to be forced to pick up a camera and use it. That all changed for me with digital technology, where you can take as many first pancake pictures as you want or need to get the one right picture. Now, the only reason I have a cell phone is for the camera.

Digital is an anti-hoarder's wet dream. It means I can have tons of pictures piled into multiple places without having the tangible pictures piling up in boxes that I have to store in the basement. The basement is where all things go to die a slow agonizing spiderweb laced death. At the same time though, it's kind of sad. A couple of years ago I vowed to start printing out a few of my pictures every month or so. I hung a bed frame on my wall and clipped a bunch of clips to it to hold pictures. This has worked out well. I admit that I don't print pictures every month, but at least every season, I put a new batch of photos up on the wall. Actually, this year has been a pretty good year for printing out my own photos. Michael's been the one to push for larger prints to put in real picture frames to hang on the wall and it's been a difficult thing for me to do. That's another story though about probably earning more trophies than actually received as a child.

Any way. Printing Photos! Usually, I print my Instagram photos through Walgreens. They keep the square shape and integrity of the original photo. I also like the way the square pictures look on the bed frame. Lately, I've been using VSCO to post my #365 pictures. I just like having one uniform spot for them and I use the same filter for each photo. It's a nice artistic space without the likes and faves and number of views. It's a space for me, not for people to notice me. The other day VSCO sent me a coupon to try out Artifact Uprising. I got 25 prints for free (excluding shipping) and they showed up at the house yesterday. I could not be more pleased. The photos are printed on this thick paper with a pretty white boarder and a textured matte finish. They just feel really good to hold between your fingers. They really are just lovely. You get twenty five 5 x5" prints for $21.99. That's about $0.89 per picture which is double the price for 4 x4" prints from Walgreens. Since I'm only printing up pictures about four times a year, I think I can treat myself with the prints from AU. At least that's how I'm going to justify that purchase.

Because I really do love them and no one is paying me to say that.  

SPEAKING OF NOT BEING A PHOTOGRAPHER

A few weeks ago, when the leaves were at the brightest of Fall foliage, Michael said "Hey! I should take you to this park I know where the trees will make you fall (ha!) over with wow!" He didn't really say that, but it was something like that. It just so happened that was also a Cabbage weekend. So parks are always a good idea, but I also used this as an opportunity to resurrect my old Nikon. I've been slowly trying to get back to using this camera. I thought buying a new fancy purse to carry it in would help, but I find that I'm just lugging around an extra heavy bag. I really heavily on my iPhone as my every day camera. There's nothing wrong with that. The phone takes great images and fits in my pocket (or bra strap) but it also makes me a little lazy because I don't pay attention to the technical side of taking a photograph. I thought this trip to the park would be the perfect time to get out the Nikon and take some pictures. And every single picture I took that day was total crap. Even after editing. I couldn't even edit these pictures into something decent. I felt pretty stupid and really disappointed. I have this fancy pants camera that could use a new lens, but I can't justify any upgrades for it because I don't use it or really know what I'm doing when I'm using it. I got mad at myself. Real mad.

When Chris and I bought our scooters, we didn't test drive them. We just bought them and had them delivered. The guy who delivered them handed over the keys and gave us a few instructions. Chris jumped on his scooter and took off. I jumped on my scooter and almost crashed into a car. I couldn't turn and that initial jolt of speed and not being in control scared the beejezus out of me. Less then ten minutes after delivery, the scooter was parked in the garage and I was sitting on the bed crying because I thought I'd made a terrible mistake. I had just spent a lot of money on something I couldn't use. This vision I had of myself being a Scooter Girl was an illusion. A joke. I was a fake, a failure, a fraidy cat and with those thoughts swirling around, I got up and got back on that scooter. I read the manual and the motorcycle driving test book. I did a countless number of figure eights in the school parking lot down the street. I passed my motorcycle test with flying colors. I made my vision a reality.

After my attempt to edit those awful pictures, I picked up the manual for that camera and read the whole thing. Then, I read Karen Walrond's book, Beginning Focus. I took all this information along with me on our weekend getaway to Hermann and made the Nikon my main camera. In fact, whenever I started to use my phone, Michael would ask "where's your other camera?" and sometimes I would roll my eyes while pulling the camera free from my bag. I didn't take the most amazing pictures that weekend, but I did a good job of taking better pictures that weekend. I do not see myself as one day becoming a professional photographer, but I do see myself as one day becoming a good photographer. I'm working on making that vision a reality.

I HAVE A SHOP!

I have set up a shop with Nuvango to sell some of my photographs. AND I AM SO EXCITED! No really. I mean, just look at what they've done to my scooter picture. My shit looks legit ya'll! I couldn't be more pleased. Even if I don't make any money, it's just nice to see my pictures in such a professional light. Last weekend, Michael and I were sitting at communal table at a brewery. A group of four came up and asked to share our table and we said "of course!" I reached up to slide my camera over to make room and one of the women asked "Oh! Are you a photographer?!?" I opened my mouth to say "no", but before I could say anything, Michael piped up with "yes she is." I wanted to protest. I wanted to say "no, no, no." Instead, I just sat there not saying a word. 

I can hardly call myself anything close to a professional photographer, but I do take a nice picture every once in a while. My little shop on Nuvango gives me a sense of pride in my work. So...maybe you need a pretty framed picture for your wall. Maybe you need a nice new iPhone case or a fancy screen for computer. Wouldn't it be nice to have a lovely set of greeting cards to send out a note to a friend or loved one? These things also make great stocking stuffers!

So go check it out! Follow the link here or under Shop under the header on my blog. And thanks for all your support!

THE PLACES I'VE LEFT CHRIS

I did not anticipate the strange photo album that would be born from leaving Chris's ashes in the places I visited. I remember laying in bed one night with Chris. This was after the final "keep him comfortable there's nothing we can do" diagnosis. We were just laying there talking about nothing and everything. The subject of cremation came up and I asked him "So...what do you want me to do with your ashes?". His reply was "I don't know." He asked me what I wanted to do with my own ashes and I told him about maybe being dumped in with the elephants in the zoo. I told him how I'd said that to my mom once and she'd totally ruined the idea by saying "so then the elephants would poop on you". He never answered my question. We just sort of skipped passed it. I was always bothered by how the ashes of Chris's dad were just displayed in a typical urn on top of the TV. I wasn't disturbed by the idea of people ashes. It just bothered me that placing him on top of the TV surrounded by a few trinkets was how they decided to honor this man's life. But really, all I had ever known of the man was that he spent a lot of time sitting in front of the TV. I wanted something different (better) for Chris. That something different is growing into quite the collections of Places I've Left Chris. I knew that there would be several places on this last trip that I'd want to leave Chris. I'd made the mistake of not taking enough to leave in other places when I went to Ireland. I needed to take more ashes than the little travel boxes I had could hold, so I filled a hot salsa jar with Chris's ashes. Some may think it is a bit irreverent to fill up a hot salsa jar with someone's ashes. I found it appropriate for Chris, lover of all things hot and spicy. I'd once witnessed Chris slice up a Habanero pepper and place it on his hamburger. There'd be a couple of times we'd end up pouring some of those ashes into a travel sized toothpaste box, the box being easier to smuggle. The container doesn't matter.

I would have liked to have left some of his ashes at the wood chipper in Fargo, but since it was housed inside the Fargo Travel Center, I thought better of it. I didn't really want his ashes to end up sitting inside a vacuum cleaner in a closet somewhere in the travel center. Instead I left some at the World's Largest Buffalo. And it was the thought of leaving Chris's ashes at Devil's Tower that inspired Talaura to put that on our list of things. Of course there really was no way we could get that close to Devil's Tower and not go out of our way to leave some of Chris there. I can't even tell you how many times Close Encounters was quoted in this house. Though it would have been funny to be able to leave some of Chris's ashes right under Washington's nose at Mt. Rushmore, I discreetly left him in view of Mt. Rushmore and directly behind the pillar that held the Oklahoma State flag.

There was one place that I had not expected to leave ashes. We ended up stopping our second night in the Ft. Abraham Lincoln State Park. The campground sits right next to Missouri river. In fact, it's situated right at the junction of where the Heart river joins the Missouri river. Michael was thrilled to be on the Missouri river. He went on and on about it. I think it was his favorite part of the trip. The next morning, as we packed up everything to head on towards Theodore Roosevelt National Park, Michael said "I think we're forgetting someone." He wanted to leave some of Chris at the river. It meant something to me that Michael wanted to be a part of this memorial. So, right there, where the Heart River meets the Missouri, we left some of Chris's ashes. The emphasis on We.