BIG FOOT

Last night I had a dream, well really more of a nightmare, where I was in the woods studying Big Foot. Up until this moment I've always imagined Big Foot to be a peaceful creature, just choosing to keep to him or herself, quietly leading a happy sasquatch life.

The Big Foot in my dream apparently didn't get the Happy Sasquatch Living handbook or just didn't read his copy. The dream one was mean, territorial and violent. And scary as shit. I mean really scary. I kept telling myself to dream about something else. Stop thinking about Big Foot. It wouldn't work. I kept coming back to Big Foot attacking our research outpost and tearing the arm off of one of the research assistants. Big foot ransacking our camp site. At one point Big Foot even picked up a marker (Sharpie, of course, a red one to be exact) and scrawled in big letters "GO AWAY" on the side of a tent.

Well Mr. Big Foot, I wish I could have gone away. Truly. I know it's been a long time since I've had Ethiopian food and I know the house was full of people trying to fix Mrs. Swan's satellite. But really, I had no idea the combination would illicit such a reaction. And I promise (God willing) to leave you alone tonight Mr. Big Foot. Perhaps you might in turn try picking up your copy of Happy Sasquatch Living and giving it another go.

THE MEAN REDS

I've been a little blue lately. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with my 7 AM class being canceled at Art of Yoga. Then I thought I'd be teaching in the evenings there in August, but that fell through too. So...I'm no longer teaching at my dream studio. I feel bad about that, but realize that my morning class is not the only one to bite the dust. And those teachers have been there loads longer then I have. Tough times for the studio I think.

Any way, I put together a little yoga resume and took it to a couple of gyms on Friday. The downtown Y called me before I even got home. I have to do a little more CPR training to work for them, but as soon as I finish that I'll be teaching three classes a week there. Yeah for a job, but not so thrilled about taking over a class where student have serious conflicting intentions for their practice. We shall see how this goes.

Though I did get some emails this morning that really made the mean reds lift a little. My students from my evening work class (free) sent me a gift card. Sweet. And the best news, was that my yoga teacher has reviewed my video. She said it was wonderful and great and awesome and that I pass. I passed yoga teacher training! Done! And Done! OK...must stop. Tears stinging the eyes. Relishing the good moment.

THANKFUL FRIDAY: CRAZY WEATHER

There are many things to be thankful for today, but I think I'm most thankful for not being struck by lightening on the way to the studio yesterday. Yes...I was on the scooter in that crazy storm yesterday.

But everything was fine. I have to take kind of an odd path to get out there and it kept me just barely on the good side of the weather. But every time I turned north on a rode, I was sweating it. I actually saw a lightening strike and then I said (I'm pretty sure out loud) "I'm in trouble". The scary stuff didn't happen until I got onto the lake road and then the wind was so bad I could barely keep the scooter up or in the right lane. But I only got a few sprinkles before I made it to the studio (in the nick of time).

By the time I left the studio, the storm had cleared. Our neighborhood was actually in the worse line of the storm. There was plenty of tree limbs and other debris to be dodged in the road. Our neighbor's chain link fence is leaning into our yard. Yup, the winds were so bad they blew over a chain link fence. We're cleaning up and the cable is finally back on. I feel blessed that I was able to avoid the worst of it.

And...despite the damages, I'm thankful for the rain. Happy Thankful Friday!

LOVE THURSDAY: HOOPER

My best friend's dog passed away on Friday. It was a good peaceful death, but still seemed to happen too soon. It really made me think of how little time we have with the furry members of the family.

It recently hit me that Hooper is getting on in years (he's nine!). I don't think it really became an issue until our recent camping trip. I never thought for an instant that it would be Hooper that I would worry about the most on that 12 mile hike. And then that night, when Chris and I had to physically lift his body so he could go to the bathroom, turned me into a ball of worry. I'm not kidding when I say it took him a full week to recover. Well...he's back to his old self and playing Chris and his mother for suckers (they've been letting him stay inside all day). But he prances and trots and can jump up on the couch.

Hooper is a gift. We may have purchased him from the local animal shelter, but I think we got the best deal out of that purchase. Today's Love Thursday is a reminder to spend just five more minutes throwing that frisbee, five more minutes on that walk, five more minutes on a belly scratch. Because you just never know. Life is too short, particularly for dogs.

Happy Love Thursday!

THE ZEN OF SCOOTER RIDING

I know. Enough with the scooter right? Well, too bad. The scooter is my life and deserves every blog entry it gets. And there are things to be gleaned from scooter and riding the scooter and being one with the scooter.

The other night while sitting under Zelda's gazebo, something was said about wanting to take their life into a certain direction, but it never seems to work out, more like the life just goes in circles. Chris said "it's like when Cindy was first learning to ride the scooter". I was terrible the first time on the scooter. I would see a parked car and know that was not the direction I would want to go, but instead would head straight for it any way. It all changed when I started looking in the direction I wanted to go. That's the first life lesson from scooter riding. Look in the direction you want to go in and stop looking at the places you don't want to go.

Something else that riding my scooter has really taught me is the practice of unitasking. The topic of unitasking came up in my yoga class last night and we discussed what unitasking entails. One of my students is also a scooter rider and I turned to him asked him if he's noticed if he is more aware while on the scooter. He definitely agreed. When I'm riding the scooter I am more aware of smells, sounds, images, even temperature changes. That's because when I am riding my scooter, there's no other place to be but on the scooter. There's no radio or me punching the radio scan button searching for something less annoying then the current option. There's no cell phone distraction. Just me. Just the scooter. One task.

The scooter has turned out to be something unexpected. I thought owning the scooter would be a fun way to save gas. And it is. Great Fun. What I didn't expect was how riding the scooter would turn into my meditation practice or turn out to be one of the most important things I do for myself every day.

TRANSENDENTAL MID-LIFE CRISIS

This is probably one of those after-drunk entries that should be written and never posted. But some events and signs have been happening around us (Chris, myself, a few other close friends) that seem to be pushing us to...something and it should be recognized. Even if it gets a little lu-lu.

Many moons ago, we left behind our school and our little community of transcendentalists to make it in the "real" world. I think when this happened (and I probably shouldn't be speaking for Chris, but I'm going to any way) we got lost. And everything we've done since then has done nothing but put us deeper into the woods.

For some reason this year seems different. Like we've turned a corner and there are all these signs pointing us in the right direction. This year has kind of been like LA Story with the big flashing sign. We've seen movies that have affected us. The scene in Darjeeling Limited (we didn't get around to seeing it until this year) where the brothers toss their heavy luggage so they can make the train to get to their destination. The million living-your-life metaphors in Up. The search for a home in Away We Go. All of these have been our flashing sign.

But there's more to it then the movies. It's the re-connection we've made with the friends from school. Zelda said last night (yes we were very tipsy) that she feels like she's a better person when we are around. But the thing is we are all better people when we are around each other because there's a sense of community. We all agree that we want something better then just having a job and coming home to watch Fox News every evening. We want more; we want the adventure of living.

Some of us in the group may feel that we are getting no where. Still swimming in the ideas of what we want. I don't think that's entirely true. I think that every time we sit down and spend ten minutes writing, painting, or anything it is we want to really do in life, that we are making progress. If you were completely done with everything you had to and wanted to do there would be no reason to even be around any more.

Every moment cannot be perfect. But we can ceise the bits that are. In the end, it's not the things, but the stories that truly matter.

THANKFUL FRIDAYS: FOOD AND STUDENTS

Was it just me or was this week a particularly long one? It seems that many of us are living for the Fridays lately and I know that I am no exception. But still, the days fly by fast enough that I have a hard time taking in the moments I am thankful for.

This week I am thankful for a couple of things. First of all, I am thankful for the students that I've had this week. The last two weeks have been desolate. I drive to studios only to have zero students. I was starting to panic, but Thursday turned it all around. I know it's summer and schedules are all wonky. But I can't help but feeling guilty for getting paid for not teaching. So, I am hoping that Thursday is a trend and things are going to start picking up again.

Secondly, I am thankful for CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). Chris and I have wanted to be a part of one for some time, but we are kind of limited in this state. The few that exist have huge waiting lists. My boss, M, offered to share her CSA baskets with us. She's been on the Guilford Gardens list for a couple of years now and she said it was more then they could eat in a week. For $12.50 a week I'm getting organic, homegrown tomatoes, potatoes, onions, peppers, beets and this week a zucchini. I went with M to pick up our basket yesterday so I could see the place and know what to do when I have to pick up the basket. I was floored that this place exists in the middle of a Nichols Hills neighborhood. I want this. I want to grow vegetables like this. I was giddy over the whole experience. Can't wait for next weeks basket.

Seems to be good things to be thankful for, work and food. So basic. Hope all have a wonderful weekend!

LOVE THURSDAY: UGLY

There are many times when Thursday rolls around that I'm a little stumped about what to post. When I decided to take my Ugly dolls on a walk with me yesterday for pictures, I still wasn't sure where I was taking this entry. But then I started thinking about the Ugly dolls and why they are called ugly. Despite their crazy eyes and supposed ugliness, I love them.

Wouldn't it be great if we could love the ugly sides of ourselves as easily? I remember when I started yoga teacher training, really worrying about not being skinny enough. I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't spiritual enough. I wasn't enough. Which was a pretty silly idea. I feel like the past year and half has been a lesson on learning to love myself. Learning to love who I am, what I am, in this moment, right here and now. Even the parts that I think are ugly.

The next time you take a good hard look in the mirror, list all the things that you like about yourself. Don't even focus on the stuff you don't. Just for that moment focus on the good, because we are all beautiful. Happy Love Thursday!

WE CAMPED

I think it's important to start out the post by saying that every one is OK. The dog is still moving around like he needs a walker, but he's doing much better. Now...you're probably wondering what in the world we got into on this camping trip.

I have to say that the camping trip was a success. We had a couple of minor hiccups, but they were manageable. The weather turned out to be perfect and we ended up have the entire camp site to ourselves. We ate well. We laughed lots. We had a good time. The only really down side was the three mile hike that turned into a twelve mile hike for Chris and Hooper and fifteen mile hike for me. We got lost. Really lost.

Some how we ended up on the ten mile trail and at about the eight mile mark Hooper had had enough. Poor guy. I wasn't near as worried about Chris as I was the dog. I really thought we were going to have to carry him out, which we kind of did. We got him to the road and then a couple of more miles before he laid down and would not get up. I hiked the three more miles into camp to get the car. I have to say, I'm in a lot better shape then I thought. Chris could have made it back, but not at the pace I was traveling. Even then, I almost cried when I saw the camp site.

We made it back safe and sound. Hooper is recovering; still moving about like an old man, but he'll be fine in a day or two (he got up for peanut butter toast this morning). The tent held up through a pretty freaky thunderstorm and we ended up replacing a tire on the car. But even through all of that, we laughed and had an awesome time.

THANKFUL FRIDAYS: PEACE AND FRIENDS

I am thankful that I made time for friends this week. I love hanging out at J and T's house talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. I also loved having dinner with Gert and Zelda this week. All of us sharing our thoughts and words and sushi. Yum. I am thankful that I have these people close to my heart.

I am most thankful for the getaway weekend with Chris. I am thankful for the moments of nothing that I will be forced to endure. To just be somewhere with out checking the phone, the email, the twitter, the everything.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July weekend. One that they can be thankful for.

LOVE THURSDAY: CAMPING

Chris and I love to camp. I love almost every thing about it (I don't like the ice chest set-up). I love the campfire and the cooking and just being out somewhere peaceful and quiet with Chris. Chris loves all of that but he really loves all the gear involved with camping. You should see his titanium spork collection.

The above picture was taken on our last camping excursion in 2006. THREE YEARS AGO! Our lives have been so crazy we haven't been able to do one of the things we really love to do in three years. That's just sad.

Tonight we pack the car and tomorrow morning we head out for our favorite camping spot. Just the three of us. I wish we were leaving today.

Happy Love Thursday!

SUMMER READING LIST

Usually I'm reading at such a rate that I don't really have time to sit down and blog about it. I just pick up whatever by who ever, read it in a day or two and move on. But this summer is really a busy one for me and I haven't had time to go through the books as quickly as before. And then I hit that spot where I'd read everything I had and was on the verge of a library visit.

That's when Zelda loaned me a collection of books by Barbara Kingsglover. I had loved the Poisonwood Bible. And the collection so far hasn't disappointed. I've read two of the four in the collection: Pigs in Heaven and Animal Dreams. Both stories take place in desert type places, though Pigs in Heaven travels all over and most of it ending up in Northeastern Oklahoma. There's something about reading them during the summer that really makes you feel the stories.

Also, what I really like about the books is that I have to take my time with them. I can't zoom through them like regular airpot fiction. I feel like the stories move slowly, but with an intentional slowness. She makes you savor the words. As I neared the end of Animal Dreams, I started sobbing. Chris made me put the book down. I had to read that chapter three times to get all the words.

I have two more books to go. I've started Homeland which is a collection of short stories and then I finish it off with The Bean Tree. I'm kind of thinking at this rate, these may last me through the summer.

PRIDE

Every year I plan on going to the Gay Pride Parade and every year something comes up and I don't make it. This year, finally, there was nothing. You're probably wondering why I'd want to go to a Gay Pride Parade. Well...I have gay friends. And I'm very proud of them. I'm proud of their bravery for not being afraid to be who they truly are. I'm proud of their tolerance to ignorance and hate. I'm proud of their endurance despite the constant battle, the battle of being treated as a second class citizen, of being 'wrong", of being different. I support my gay friends. I love you no matter what.

Besides that, every one knows parades are fun. But a parade with drag queens?!? The MOST fun.

THANKFUL FRIDAYS

Today I am attending a yoga workshop by Judith Lassiter (big name in the yoga community). I have just a few social events planned for this weekend and then I have no more weekend obligation for a while (at least until mid July). Even though this month has been, well...hectic, it hasn't been too bad. I like having something to do other then the usual household chore list. But I'm also ready for a few weekends that just belong to me. So...am I thankful for the busy or the break? I think I'm thankful for both. More and more I'm learning to just be thankful for what each day brings and those few moments I have for myself. Last week I rode the V out to my teaching job on the other side of the city. I teach two classes in a row and by the time I locked up the studio it was close to 8:30 in the evening. I was tired and hungry and I had very long trek ahead of me. But I enjoyed every single minute of it. It was like the perfect meditation. No where else to be in that moment then on my scooter.

Much like yesterday's Love Thursday, it's the small, simple, snippets that I am thankful for today. I challenge everyone to just take twenty minutes for yourself today and be thankful.

Happy Thankful Friday

LOVE THURSDAYS: SIMPLE SURPRISES

Last week, I reached to pull my laptop out of my backpack when I noticed that my pack was sporting a new pin. A grin spread across my face and little chill bumps broke out on my arms. Chris had made the pin and then snuck it onto my backpack while I was in the shower that morning.

It's not the pin itself that I love as much as the intention and idea behind the pin. It's inspired by the pin that Ellie gives Carl as children in Up made from a Grape Soda bottle cap. She gives it to Carl to make him an honorary member of her Junior Adventure Club. Chris made mine with a Moxie Soda cap, since that seems to be the only soda I ever want to drink. Also, we both just like the word "moxie".

It's not any thing fancy. Not made of silver or gold or encrusted with diamonds. It's just a simple little soda cap. A simple little soda cap that signifies that I am an official member of Chris's Adventure Club and we're in this great adventure together.

FIFTY YEARS

Yesterday, on the longest day of the year, my parents celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Fifty years. In the grand scheme of things, what exactly does fifty years boil down to? For many fifty years would seem like a life time. When I look at Chris, some times I wonder if fifty years is really long enough.

None of us really understand how or why my parents have toughed it out this long. They rarely have anything nice to say to each other, let alone about one another. I definitely learned what I didn't want in a relationship from my parents. And who knows? Maybe all the bickering is just their thing. It's the glue that keeps them together.

I did learn yesterday that my parents never had a wedding cake. They got married in their preacher's home with my Mom's brother and future sister-in-law as witnesses. No reception. No cake. Yesterday was their first wedding cake. Looking back on the pictures taken of them yesterday, I couldn't help but think that despite the constant war, deep down there's still some sort of spark or something there.

THANKFUL FRIDAYS...I THINK

It was really hard to come up with something I'm thankful for when I dragged my achy body out of bed this morning. I've been rolling along at full steam ahead and as much as I'd like to say I'm thankful for Friday, I'm not sure that I can today. But then I took some time to drink my first cup of coffee this week (yeah...I said "this week") and peruse the blogs and email and I now have a better attitude for reflecting on being thankful.

This weekend Chris and I head to Tulsa to celebrate (?) my parents 50th Wedding Anniversary. And though I know I will get zero rest and start worrying about the amount of beans to make, I am thankful that we can use this excuse to get the family together in one loud hectic globby mess. Also, my niece-in-law's little boy turns one. I am thankful that we get to share in the joy and celebration of this little one's first year.

Another weekend of big family stuff. My family is just as crazy as everyone else's families, but they are always there. They are always willing to help, to listen, but most of all to love. I am thankful for that.

Happy Thankful Friday! Enjoy your weekend.

LOVE THURSDAY: CHILDLIKE WONDER

One of my favorite things from the trip was going into the butterfly room at St. Louis Zoo. I called it the room of magic. I stood in that room in awe of all the delicate wings fluttering around me, amazed at all the colors and beauty in these simple little creatures.

It's so easy as an adult to forget to see the amazement and magic in the simplest things. I love that I can still find that childlike wonder within myself. Still be thrilled by seeing butterflies. Still believe in fairies every time I see a lightening. Still see shapes in the clouds.

So, I send out a challenge to you on this love Thursday. Take some time to find your inner child and be amazed with the simple and beautiful things around you today. happy Love Thursday!

GIRLS' TRIP 2009

In 1992 or 93, our HS band was asked to play in Washington DC. On the way, one of the buses broke down (of course) in St. Louis. They left us at the St. Louis Arch, which was way grungier then it looks today, and they wouldn't let me ride to the top. "The bus could come back at any minute." Yea, like five hours later. So my one true goal for our trip to St. Louis this time was to get to the top of that arch. It was the first thing we did and it was oh so scary, but really great.

Over all, the entire trip was super. I'm still reeling from it all. I had no idea that St. Louis was such a great place with so much to see and do. We tried to cram as much in as we could, but it was impossible. You could spend a week alone just seeing and doing every thing at Forest Park, which is free by the way. That's right. FREE. The zoo, art museum, history museum and science center. All free.

One of the best things was getting to introduce my mom and sister to Trader Joe's. They finally get what Chris and I have been harping about all this time. But other then Trader Joe's, I was astounded with the Farmer's markets available to the people of St. Louis. I drove to St. Louis to grocery shop. I was just truly impressed with the availability of fresh vegetables and public transportation and the sheer green lushness of the city. Definitely worth a second or third trip back.

I've put together some of my favorite pictures from the weekend, but you can see them all here. Enjoy!

THANKFUL FRIDAYS: GIRLY TRIP

The last few years my sister, my mom and sometimes my sister-in-law and niece, and I all go on a weekend getaway. And for the last few years that weekend getaway place has been Eureka Springs. This year we are shaking things up and heading off to St. Louis, MO (cue "clang, clang, clang went the trolley").

Even though my family can drive me insane (like how Mom pronounces the L in salmon), I love them. And I'm thankful for the time we can spend together. I am thankful that we choose to make the time to spend together. I am also thankful for the break from everything and being able to take this mini-vacation, even if it's without Chris.

I didn't really start to get excited about the trip until Thursday when I started printing out maps and itinerary ideas. Suddenly, I couldn't wait to get on the road. Also, wished that I had thought to download the soundtrack to "Meet Me in St. Louis".

Be thankful of the times you get to share with your loved ones and happy Friday to all!

[Side note: Chris has said that he is the speaker to my radio waves, which comes in handy about half of the time because sometimes it's best to not say those things you are thinking out loud. So probably a good idea he's staying at home.]