I don’t consider myself to be a true sports fan. I own one KC Royals T-shirt that ended up as a pj top because it’s really soft. There is not a single red item in my wardrobe for representing the Chiefs. I do have a KC Current sticker on my scooter. I know nothing about the sport of soccer, but I am one hundred percent supportive of this team and what it means to have the first women’s soccer arena in the country. I will listen to updates of the games on our local Bridge radio station. Other than that, most everything is grouped together as ‘sports ball’. That being said, I do get into watching the Summer Olympics.

Most evenings since the opening ceremony of this year’s Summer Olympics, we have just had the TV on with the games playing as background. Sometimes we’re paying attention. The surfing competition has been riveting and watching Snoop-dog and Flavor Flav interacting with the US athletes has been a thoroughly joyful thing to watch. I have always watched the gymnastics. Many many years ago when I was tiny, I was in gymnastics and even competed. I was terrible at the uneven bars, okay with the floor routine, and pretty good on the vault, but the balance beam was my jam. That is the place where I excelled and I really enjoyed it until I got taller. The taller you are, the harder it is to flip yourself off the end of a balance beam. Once scary fall was all it took for me to move on from gymnastics. But it didn’t stop me from watching the sport and watching the US Women’s gymnastic team gives me all of the feels.

My experience with coaches and work-out instructors have all included a ‘no pain, no gain’ mindset. My gymnastic coach was one of the nicest people, but even he had his moments. One of the reasons why I was so terrible at the uneven bars was because I could not pull myself up and often, my coach would leave me hanging on the top bar until I would eventually lose my grip and fall. I learned to hang for a really long time. After gymnastics, came dance coaches who would force a dancer to bend in ways the joints should not bend. There were aerobic coaches that yelled at you to keep moving. I have even been in a yoga class where the instructor encouraged a student to keep forcing their handstand despite the obvious shoulder pain this person was in. Many of us were taught that pain comes with fitness, that in order for you to have a fit and trim body, you must hurt. Muscle tears. Joint pain. Just the price you pay.

Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Tokyo, Summer Olympics 2020, Simone Biles had a wobbly twist as she came off the vault. If you were watching and are not a gymnast you probably didn’t think anything was off. She had flipped around in the air and landed mostly on her feet, not her face, something you or and I could not do. But to a trained gymnasts and Simone Biles, that wobbly twist was evidence that something was off with Simone. Then Simone Biles did something that shocked the country. She quit the olympic trials, taking herself completely out of the competition. She cited mental health concerns as her reason. Her head wasn’t in it or in the right place and that disconnect can lead to serious injuries. Simone Biles made her mental health, as well as her physical health, more important than medals and it was something many people had never seen happen before. Many thought that this was it for her, that she would never again compete in gymnastics.

Now, if you’ve been watching this year’s olympics, you know that we had not seen the last of what Simone Biles has to offer. She came back and showed the world that she’s better than ever, but she also showed the world the benefits of making your own health a priority. Simone Biles is an athlete that little girls across this nation have looked up to for years. She is an inspiration, but in that moment she decided to step out of the 2020 Olympics, she became an advocate and an inspiration. I’ve been following Simone Biles for years and I am grateful to see her return to the mat. The joy on her face as she has expertly completed her routines is blinding and beautiful. I am grateful that she has been able to compete with a safe and healthy mindset. But more than anything, I am grateful for the reminder that it is more than possible to step away from something you love in order to heal your mind and or body so that you can come back and be better at that thing you love.

This summer, I have stepped away from doing some things that I love. My personal yoga practice has been garbage. I’ve rarely made it on to my mat for anything other than teaching in well over a month. The same is true for my photography practice. My camera has not left the camera bag since we left Minnesota back in June. These things that I love to do have hit a lull or more likely, I’ve been experience some burnout. I finally made it back to my mat this week for me and I have felt stronger on my mat this week then I have felt in a long time. Breaks are necessary for healing, but also for missing the act of doing. I’ve missed my yoga time and grateful to have it back. Today, I realized that I miss my photography practice too. I miss taking the time to look around me to find beauty in the simplest things. It’s back to school time for many next week. Maybe back to school for me means getting back to my photography practice.

Sometimes I need a break and reminder to ask myself “Why do I do those things that I love?” So far, I have always been able come up with solid answers for why. I am thankful for those reasons of why.