After holding my egg up to a candle, I discovered that there wasn’t anything growing inside of it. No puggle. No puggle with dragon wings. Nothing but egg goo. The egg wasn’t stinky and rotten though. So, I cracked it open, scrambled it up with some green onions and cheese, and I ate it. It was delicious. With every bite, I pondered my reasons for even picking up the egg in the first place and what I could learn from the experience of holding onto the egg. It’s a lot of analogy and vagueness for conveying that I am not moving to England.

Instead, I have thrown myself deep into my work and I am focusing on learning some new tricks.

If the egg was a lemon, I’d be making lemonade.

It seems fitting that I am shifting gears and focus right as we move from August into September. The fireflies gave way to the cicadas and crickets a month ago, but in the last two weeks I’ve noticed a stillness in the mornings that doesn’t always exist in the hottest months. Nothing has started buzzing yet and the sun is just barely up when Josephine and I return from our morning walks. The sidewalks are littered with cicada bodies. A few trees are getting patches of yellow leaves. The air smells different. Everyone but me is leaping into it all and saying “hurry up, Fall!”. I’m over here whispering '“not yet.” I’m not ready for the end of summer not just because I’ll miss the weather. I’m not ready because I want more time to marinate in this current mental state.

I want to formulate some new goals and edit my old goals. I haven’t felt this relaxed about making life changes in years. Usually, the thought of even attempting to make a goal made me so anxious that in the end, I would drop it because I am just going to fail anyway. This summer, forty six years into my life, I realized that I can fail at lot of things.

Every failure here branched off into a success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here, you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. - Alpha Waymond Wang (Everything Everywhere All at Once)

Maybe I’m not bad at everything, but I don’t I have to be good at everything either. I can have lots and lots of eggs. Some of those eggs just might contain something wonderfully magical. Most of those eggs are going to be filled regular egg goo, but even those eggs will not be a waste.

I know how to make a lot of things with eggs.